Rich Text

The big headline about season 6 of “Selling Sunset,” the real estate docusoap set amidst multi-million-dollar mansions in Los Angeles, was the departure of the long-time series villain, Christine Quinn. After five seasons of antagonizing doe-eyed heroine Chrishell Stause and systematically burning bridges with the rest of the Oppenheim Group — many of whom had been her friends for years — Quinn was finally pushed out. This left a gaping hole in the “Selling Sunset” lineup, and a big question: who would fill her antagonistic shoes?

In season 6, the show tosses in two new Quinn-esque agents to stir up drama. Between them, veteran O Group agent Nicole Young and newbie Bre Tiesi provide enough unwarranted friction with other agents (mostly Nicole) and panache (entirely Bre) to capably fill in the narrative void. Bre, previously better known as Johnny Manziel’s ex-wife and mother of Nick Cannon’s son Legendary, waltzes in with a Rolodex of billionaire and celeb clients; she also gamely beefs with Chelsea Lazkani over their realtor bona fides and Chelsea’s unsolicited opinions about her open relationship with Cannon. Nicole, a long-time member of the business and friend group, sets her sights on Chrishell’s good-girl image and is surprisingly successful at tarnishing it.

But in our eyes, season 6 marks the coming-out of another, greater villain — perhaps the stealth Big Bad of “Selling Sunset” as a whole. Yes, we’re thinking of Jason Oppenheim: twin, short king, cofounder, boss. After spending the first few seasons as mostly a background player, and then breaking out as a romantic lead through his season-long relationship with Chrishell, Jason has returned with a hot new girlfriend and an IDGAF attitude, leaving a trail of emotional and financial wreckage in his wake. His history of seriously dating women at the brokerage comes back to haunt him, but instead of handling it, he dumps it on his loyal bestie and lieutenant Mary and fucks off to Europe; while he’s on vacation, he also expects Mary to handle managing the brokerage, her own usual workload, and his personal condo-flipping project, leaving the poor woman a burnt-out husk. By the end of the season, we realized that Jason was really at the root of most of the really toxic drama at the Oppenheim Group, and he mostly gets to sit back and watch the women deal with the fallout.

In our latest episode of the pod, we discussed all of this, as well as Heather’s pregnancy persona, empanada entrepreneur Emma’s ability to slip in and out of drama, and Chrishell’s heel turn, and the Nick Cannon of it all. Hope you enjoy! xo

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Note: Because of all of the clips and photos, if you’re receiving this in your inbox, you will have to click “view entire message” at the bottom of the email to see the full post!

For “Vanderpump Rules” fans, “Scandoval” was the culmination of a years-long commitment to the dramatic ups and downs of a group of Los Angeles strivers. For everyone else, it was a chance to ask… Who the hell are Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix, and why are they the subject of an explainer in the New York Times?

Here on Rich Text, we were a house divided. Emma has been vigilantly watching “Vanderpump” since a few seasons in, and Claire has never seen a single episode. And yet, her interest was still piqued. How could it not be? Scandoval was a reality TV scandal that somehow managed to penetrate into the mainstream consciousness. So we decided it was time for Claire — and all of you — to be brought into the twisty world of “Vanderpump Rules.” So for two full hours, along with video clips and photographs, Emma explained the Scandoval to Claire.

What is Vanderpump Rules?

“Vanderpump Rules” (VPR) premiered in January 2013, as a spin-off of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” The show, in its inception, followed a group of 20 and 30-something strivers who worked at RHOBH cast member Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurants in West Hollywood — primarily, SUR, which stands for Sexy Unique Restaurant. The show is currently airing its 10th season.

At its core, the show has always been about relationship dynamics, and specifically cheating. There are only a handful of cast members who haven’t been involved in public cheating scandals, but none of the previous cheating scandals can hold a candle to Scandoval. 

The Short Summary

VPR original cast member Tom Sandoval cheated on Ariana Madix, his girlfriend of nine years, by having a secret seven-month affair with their co-star (and one of Madix’s besties) Raquel Leviss. This news first broke on March 3, 2023, and the ensuing fervor was coined “Scandoval.”

For those who aren’t initiated into VPR world — don’t worry, you soon will be — here’s the Scandoval in “Friends” terms: It’s like if Chandler cheated on Monica with Rachel, and Joey knew.

But what makes this scandal such a big deal is all of the historical context; the DECADE of footage fans have of Sandoval, and what that footage tells us about his patterns of (shitty) behavior.

Whether you’re a “Vanderpump” stan or newbie, we hope you’ll enjoy this episode! Below are all of the clips and photos referenced in the podcast. Xo

Clip 1: Tom Sandoval confesses to Stassi that he made out with Ariana in Vegas (watch on Bravo’s website)

Clip 2: Scheana brings up the “Miami Girl” rumor to Sandoval

Clip 3: “Miami Girl” comes to L.A. to meet with Kristen and confront Sandoval

Clip 4: James Kennedy proposes to Raquel with “Rachella”

Photo 1: Sandoval and Raquel at Coachella 2022

Photo 2: Scheana, Katie and Kristen show up to support Ariana

Clip 5: Scheana’s Elle Woods moment

Photo 3: Raquel talks to TMZ outside a Valley Village nail salon

Clip 6: A Tom Sandoval post-breakup mash-up (The Howie Mandel interview vs. Season 2 reunion)

Clip 7: Sandoval denies anything has happened between him and Raquel to a producer

Clip 8: Raquel sleeps over at Sandoval’s when Ariana is out of town

Clip 9: The “Vanderpump Rules” season 10 finale trailer

Photo 4: Ariana is spotted with a new man, Daniel Wai, at Coachella 2023

Photo 5: Lala, Lisa Vanderpump and Ariana attend the White House Correspondents Dinner

Clip 10: Roy Wood Jr. roasts Tucker Carlson and Tom Sandoval at the White House Correspondents Dinner

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This is the free edition of Rich Text, a newsletter about cultural obsessions from your Internet BFFs Emma and Claire. If you like what you see and hear, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Rich Text is a reader-supported project — no ads or sponsors!

Twenty years ago, Hilary Duff cemented her status as a Disney Channel icon by starring in the first-ever Disney series movie spin-off released in theaters: “The Lizzie McGuire Movie.” As in the show, Duff played the perpetually lip-glossed, glossy-haired middle-school outcast, Lizzie McGuire, who manages to get bullied by being nicer and conventionally hotter than anyone you went to junior high with. The concept of the movie: Lizzie heads to Rome for a post-graduation class trip, only to catch the eye of an Italian teen heartthrob named Paolo and get swept into impersonating his ex-partner, Isabella, at a music video awards show. It’s millennial tween girl wish-fulfillment to the max, from Lizzie’s effortlessly stick-straight blonde hair and pinstriped flared low-rise jeans to her sudden ascension into pop stardom. And it should not be surprising that, as adult viewers, we found this classic tween flick to be rife with plot holes, bad accent work, and glib references to no-carb diets. How did we ever make it through middle school in the early aughts? This movie only offers more questions.

But while “Lizzie McGuire” didn’t exactly inspire us with its artistry, there’s just something about a nostalgic rewatch of a movie that brought you joy as an adolescent — or even one that captures a time when you were young and corny enough to enjoy bad movies about middle-schoolers meeting cute guys in European cities. If you haven’t been listening to our “Bachelor” off-season pods on “Love to See It,” we’ve been rewatching teen romances that shaped our own youthful beliefs about love, ambition, feminism and finding ourselves: “Love and Basketball,” “10 Things I Hate About You,” “Easy A,” and many more to come. And honestly? Most of them actually do hold up.

Here on Rich Text, we’re doing it with a twist: instead of Very Important Teen Rom-Coms, we’re recapping a Very Bad Tween (Rom?) Com. Joining us for this rewatch was the wonderful Laura Hankin, our old friend and author of “The Daydreams” (out tomorrow!), a novel about four friends who starred on a Disney-esque teen show in the early aughts — and whose lives spun off in wildly different directions after a live episode went catastrophically awry and brought down the entire series. Now adults, the four cast members are brought back together for a reunion show, where old wounds are reopened, old secrets come to light, and old hopes are rekindled. It’s truly the satisfying version of rewatching “Lizzie McGuire” as a grown-up, with all the heady 2000s nostalgia plus the added depth of adult perspective.

So please, check out Laura’s delightful book, dig into our teen rom-com rewatch miniseries over at LTSI, and enjoy this tween rom-com rewatch — as a special treat, we’ve made it free!

And stay tuned, because we’ve got a lot of great pods coming this month for paid subscribers, including a pre-VPR finale Scandoval explainer, a “Selling Sunset” season 6 recap, and a “Yellowjackets” season 2 discussion!

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Spoiler warning: The “Love Is Blind” season 4 reunion will be discussed in this post and in great detail in the podcast! You’ve been warned!

Also, we attempted to be as up to date as possible on all of the tea trickling out post-reunion, but of course we had to take time to edit this episode, and in the intervening hours, Jackie released this apology on Instagram for the “disparaging remarks” she made about Marshall. (The word “homophobic” was not used.)

Hell hath no fury like a Netflix audience scorned by a “live” television event.

After heavily — heavily! — promoting the “Love Is Blind” season 4 *LIVE* finale, millions tried to access the live feed at 8pm EST on Sunday night and were met with… an error message. It was a reload, stare at a purple title card (first “It’s almost time! The live event will start soon,” and later, “There’s an issue with the livestream. Hang tight! We’re trying to fix it as soon as possible.”), watch it load again, get another error message, do the whole thing again, kind of night. This went on for more than an hour before just a segment of Netflix users were able to access the live feed.

When people finally got access to the reunion — either like us, in the middle of the livestream, or at 12pm PST the following day — it was… underwhelming. The cast members all seemed extremely anxious, made even worse by the fact that they had evidently been sitting around on stage for more than an hour in full hair and makeup, unable to get this show on the road. Jackie and Josh weren’t there, because of safety concerns, allegedly, though this went completely unexplained. Marshall had to speak in monologue to no one in order to rebut Jackie’s pre-taped criticisms. Our shining romantic heroes Brett and Tiffany barely spoke. Zack tried to chaotically defend Paul from Micah’s rather tepid criticisms, and Vanessa kept cutting everyone off. Plus, the baby pressure! The weird, creepy, I’m-gonna-invade-your-uterus-at-any-moment baby pressure! As TV writer/producer Francesca Ramsey pointed out on TikTok, the mark of a good host isn’t just someone who knows how to talk, but someone who knows how to listen.

We did learn that all three married couples are still together. (Hooray! We love love!) But this entire reunion truly could have been an email.

And yet… we did talk about it for two hours, including hopping back on to discuss Jackie chaotically posting “receipts” left and right. Hope you enjoy! Xo

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Spoiler warning: The “Love Is Blind” season 4 finale will be discussed in this post and in great detail in the podcast. There will be spoilers! Be prepared!

When Alanis memorably sang, “It’s like raaayyy-ee-aaainnnn on your wedding day,” she was trying to illustrate the concept of irony. She was mistaken, of course. Rain on your wedding day is not ironic; as Tiffany’s friend points out during a mid-downpour ceremony, it simply means good luck. And the good luck, this sodden Seattle wedding day, belonged to all of us “Love Is Blind” nerds, who were about to view the most shocking and joyous finale this show has delivered yet.

At every turn, we were caught wrong-footed — surprised by the yeses and the nos, surprised by the hidden tensions revealed and surprised by our own watering eyes when a couple said “I do.” Everything we thought we knew about this show (well, almost everything) had to be reevaluated. Were we wrong about most of these couples all along??

We’re not sure which moment left us most slack-jawed (Kwame’s decision? Micah’s decision to punt the first response to Paul? Paul’s post-ceremony words? Zack and Bliss’s final choice?), but it was hard not to finish the finale feeling like both the show and, perhaps, some of the cast themselves were withholding a lot of important information about these relationships. And yet it was still a surprisingly moving finale, with at least two weddings that left us verklempt in a good way.

In this recap, we discuss every twist and turn of this wedding day episode, what we missed about these couples all season and what we love about (some of) them, and who we think should stay together — plus, our updated enemies-to-friends ranking. Our live reunion recap will be coming next week, so stay tuned!

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It’s a big week for “Love Is Blind.” At this point in the season, things always start to either really come together or totally fall apart. And in episodes 9-11 of season 4, we got both.

On one end of the should-they-get-married spectrum is Brett and Tiffany, who continue to be THE Golden Couple of the season. It’s hard to say enough good things about these two. Their friends all seem like people we’d actually like to hang out with, they are communicative and open and thoughtful and loving towards each other. They both compromise, and know how to support each other. In this batch of episodes. Tiff buckles emotionally under the pressure of a looming televised wedding. But instead of taking her feelings as an attack on him or on their relationship, Brett recognizes that his partner is suffering and instead does his best to lift her up. (And prints some very beautiful portraits that he took of her. I mean…. SWOON!)

A couple who is faring much less well (and showing far less emotional maturity, which I guess is what an extra decade of life/dating experience will get you!) are Marshall and Jackie. These two seemed ill-matched fairly soon after they left the pods, and it all comes to a head this week when Jackie fails to show up for her wedding dress fitting, because she’s on a freaking date with freaking Josh. Poor Marshall didn’t even get a text. A rough as hell ending for these two, but also probably for the best.

This week, we dive into the third drop of season 4, which takes us right up to the big wedding days! We discuss the shaky ground Chelsea and Kwame seem to be on, why we can’t seem to get a proper read on Paul, Zack and Bliss’ respective family meetings, and deliver our final pre-wedding predictions, ratings and friend/enemy rankings. Hope you enjoy! Xo

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The pods and sunny Mexico are in the rearview mirror, so it’s time for our four surviving couples to move into Seattle townhouses and start hashing out chore wheels. This is where the rubber meets the road. It’s the first opportunity the couples have to see if they can stand each other not just through a wall or at a lavish resort, but while managing the quotidian annoyances of delayed dish-washing, incompatible budgets, divergent life plans, and mismatched aesthetics. Brett drips water on the bathroom floor after showering; Paul keeps a sheathed Bowie knife on every flat surface in his home; Chelsea has never met a pink appliance she doesn’t immediately buy; Jackie is prone to long and intractable bad moods; Kwame doesn’t want to leave Portland even though his job is fully remote and Chelsea’s is very much not.

And that’s not all! For the first time ever, a “Love Is Blind” participant is setting his sights on a full switcheroo. After Zack and Irina’s engagement ended so catastrophically that even the two of them couldn’t help but laugh, Zack headed back to Seattle to meet up with his also-ran, Bliss. And it wasn’t just a friendly catchup! Instead, it seems the two sweet nerdlings felt chemistry in that bar and grill, and they’re soon dating in earnest. We’ve seen engagements crash and burn before… but going back for a chance with the runner-up? It’s fresh, it’s new, it’s (dare we say) rather Jason Mesnick. (What is it about the men in the Seattle area?)

This week, we dive into the three new episodes, try to figure out what the fuck is Irina’s deal, try to figure out what the fuck is Micah’s actual BFF Shelby’s deal, assess everyone’s families and home decor style, try to figure out what the fuck Kwame actually wants, and update our verdicts on who should get married and who are our greatest friends and enemies. Hope you enjoy!

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NOTE: When we started recapping this week, we thought it was a 4-episode drop, and then we realized it was actually a 5-episode drop! So we recap all 5 episodes in this podcast, but we recapped the last episode in a separate taping. (Also, be warned: This made the recap pod way longer than anticipated.) Thanks for bearing with us and sorry for any confusion. Xo

“Is love… really blind?”

This is the question that Netflix and The Lacheys purport to be answering each season on “Love Is Blind.” And even though the obvious truth is that the answer is no — perhaps out eternal enemy Shake was indeed right about this one thing — we are still thrilled to watch a new Pod Squad try to fall in love through a wall in just 10 days. It’s only been a few months since the last After The Altar special, and yet Netflix knows that we will be injecting any and all of their reality romance content directly into our veins.

Season 4 takes us to the Pacific Northwest, where we meet 30 singles eager to fast-track their way to a husband or wife… and maybe get left at the altar in another month. (But that’s an issue for another episode drop!!) In this first batch of episodes, we get a sense of who our core cast is going to be, who our golden couple is — there’s one every season — and which love triangles/quadrangles/chains are going to cause the most drama later on. (Lookin’ at you, Micah and Kwame!) Let’s just say the vibe is *very* different from that of our Dallas crew.

One disappointment, however, is the lack of body diversity. This is something that fans of “Love Is Blind,” and other dating shows like “The Bachelor,” have been advocating for for years. It felt like maybe LIB was starting to get the memo after they cast Alexa Alfia, who went on to be one half of LIB 3’s golden couple. Cut to season 4 and… every single cast member appears to be straight-sized.

But for every step back, LIB takes a step forward. This season’s innovations? A female romantic lead over the age of 35 (we are already obsessed with you, Tiffany!), and our first ever switcheroo engagement. Cannot wait to see if Zack’s bid for Bliss is successful.

In this week’s episode, we discuss the first five episodes, as well as our “Should They Get Married?” ratings, and our enemies-to-friends scale. Hope you enjoy! Xo

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In the final moments of “Sex/Life” season one, desperate Connecticut housewife and former New York sex-haver Billie (Sarah Shahi) is finally ready to act on years of yearning and months of journaling about the one that got away. She’s been trying to make things work with her handsome, loving, and loaded husband Cooper, and to put dreams of her handsome, loving, and loaded ex-boyfriend Brad in the past. But as the final episode comes to a close, the elevator doors to Brad’s penthouse open. Billie emerges, clad in a girlish puffed-sleeve floral dress. “Now fuck me,” she demands.

Season two of “Sex/Life” brings us back to that exact moment, when it seems Brad and Billie will finally re-consummate their passion and initiate an actual affair. But “Sex/Life” is not a show about cheating, or anything as taboo or titillating as adultery. It’s more of a show about serial monogamy, and extremely hot skinny people in committed relationships having mind-blowing missionary sex while bathed in fuchsia light.

And so season two takes Billie on a journey out of the depths of monogamy and into its shallows; she separates from her husband, immediately meets another handsome man who immediately becomes her boyfriend, occasionally works on her Columbia psych dissertation (it’s about how girls just wanna have fun), and allegedly spends half the week in Connecticut with her children. We also follow along as her embittered ex, Cooper, develops a sex and alcohol addiction that blows up mildly compromises his finance career. Meanwhile, her bestie Sasha has become a Goop girlboss and an icon of single-by-choice feminist girlies — and has once again fallen for her college boyfriend. Brad, Billie’s music executive ex, has met a model named Gigi and is finally really to settle down… maybe. In just six episodes, the season hurtles toward its fairytale ending at breakneck speed, cramming entire seasons’ worth of unhinged plot twists into single, underbaked episodes.

“Sex/Life” is a show about people who are rich, beautiful, and having abundant satisfying sex. They have charming children they love, careers they’re passionate about. And somehow, their lives seem absolutely miserable. Their lavish homes somehow appear bleak onscreen; their forlorn children are entrusted to nannies who appear to be unfamiliar with the concept of a day off. The best thing that ever happens to these people is a night at a fancy restaurant or party, sampling fine vintages while wearing sequins. Even all the sex, as in season one, is somehow both graphic and bland. The season is packed with slow-mo, blue- and pink-lit montages of the various couples banging in various standard positions (missionary, cowgirl), all of which left us vaguely bored.

In this episode, we sort through all the absurd storylines that make up this season, analyze the quality of the sex scenes closely (some might say a little too closely), and examine the show’s attempt to present a bland vision of monogamous marriage to one’s first love as daring, edgy, and revolutionary — even, dare they say, feminist. Also we literally cannot stop laughing. We hope you enjoy this episode half as much as we enjoyed making it. xo

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Warning: This podcast contains many, many spoilers for “You” season 4, part 2. It also contains discussion of events in the show that pertain to suicide.

ANOTHER WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED “YOU” SEASON 4.

We have been holding onto the knowledge of The Big Twist from “You” season 4 for weeks now. Praise the Netflix gods, now we can finally talk about it.

When part 1 of season 4 wrapped up, we had just learned that Rhys Montrose — Joe/Jonathan’s buddy, the likely future mayor of London, the One Good Man among a group of vapid, selfish, rich assholes — was the Eat The Rich Killer. Except… Rhys Montrose, or at least the Rhys we (and Joe) have come to know, doesn’t actually exist.

It turns out that Joe has channeled his obsession with the real Rhys into a full-on delusional state, in which all of Joe’s worst parts are expressed through a separate character, “Rhys.” Does Rhys Montrose exist? Yes. Does he know Joe/Jonathan? Absolutely not.

Now we know what kind of story we’re dealing with. It’s not just an ordinary whodunnit. It’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Imaginary “Rhys” makes this explicit in a speech to Joe: “You poured all that darkness you hated into a vessel you admired because you knew that the endgame was facing yourself, didn’t you? There you go, all the worst bits in a package you don’t mind having a pint with.”

And that is always what “You” has been about — Joe’s commitment to running from himself and to contorting the narrative to paint himself as the perpetual hero, no matter how many bodies end up lying dead in his wake. Season 4 brings us all into this delusion alongside Joe, and then wrenches us right out of it, and demands we look Joe (and ourselves) in the face.

Nothing about this season was subtle — like, did we really need the dungeon key lodged into a literal copy of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”? — but it added up to a raucous ride, and a really fun conversation. In this episode, we discuss the varying literary genres that the “You” writers played with this season (whodunnit! romance! fairytale!), the usefulness of the detective-as-killer trope, and where we think the show will, and should, go from here. Hope you enjoy! xo

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