Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

By The Irish TimesComedy

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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly episodes

February 23, 2024 Honor rubs at the graffiti with a dainty, circular motion, like she’s applying foundation to the face of an elderly loved one
I haven’t seen Honor look this angry since the time she spear-tackled a woman who tried to cheat her out of first place in the sack race at the Castle Pork Dalkey Open Sports Day.

She’s like, “What ... the ... fock?”
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7 min
February 16, 2024 Sorcha goes, ‘I don’t need a 26-old copy of Cosmopolitan to tell me that I married the wrong man’
Sorcha says she’s sorry and I’m there, “Hey, it’s cool,” even though I’ve no idea what she’s even apologising for?

She goes, “Oh my God, I was such an idiot.”
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7 min
February 10, 2024 Our daughter came out of the womb with two middle fingers raised to the world. That’s not down to us
“If some wooden comes at you with a shank,” Ronan goes, “grab them be the wrist and twist it, then hit them at the base of the nose with the heel of yisser hand, driving upwards. Upwards – that’s it."

irishtimes.com
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7 min
February 02, 2024 'I’ve got my top off, and Réaltín’s looking at me like my old man turning his nose up at cheap steak'
So I’m shaking hands with Hugh and Marie Atcheson after our latest victory in the Leinster Padel Championships and the famous Réaltín – as in, like, my mixed doublesportner? – is just, like, glowering at me.

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6 min
January 26, 2024 ‘Honor O’Carroll-Kelly is not the victim. She is a highly intelligent young woman from a privileged background’
Honor pretends to sneeze, but instead of ‘achoo!’ she goes ‘fock you!’ to the prosecution barrister
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8 min
January 19, 2024 ‘How could the child of a mother who puts the mental into environmental action grow up with a moral compass?’
So Honor is lying on her bed, her nose stuck in her phone, presumably trolling people on social media, when I tell her that Hennessy Coghlan-O’Hara is here to talk about her case.
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7 min
January 15, 2024 'She’s hord work, my new padel portner. But the girl fascinates me. She’s like a female me'
Réaltín and I have an intuitive understanding that only great lovers, or an out-half and his inside-centre, could fully understand
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7 min
January 05, 2024 ‘Ross, this was my sliding doors moment. And I made the wrong choice’
Sorcha has made an alarming discovery during her annual New Year’s Day clear-out.
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7 min
December 29, 2023 ‘The Leopardstown Races, eh, Ross? A great way to blow off the old cobwebs after Christmas!’
Leopardstown on Stephen Zuzz Day is a tradition for the O’Carroll-Kelly men
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7 min
December 22, 2023 Honor is like, ‘There’s no chocolate Kimberleys left,’ and that’s when I end up suddenly losing my sh*t
It’s three days before the big day and Cornelscourt is like the Battle of the Bastards scene from Game of Thrones
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7 min

About Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

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The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

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