Ross Patterson Revolution!

The CDC is going to ask people to take a third COVID booster shot, the media is turning on Joe Biden over Afghanistan, Texas governor Greg Abbott got COVID, and Ross discovered Greg Gutfeld’s show on Fox News that is apparently crushing all the traditional late-night shows.

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Kids are going back to school in Texas without masks thanks to Governor Greg Abbott, Naomi Osaka cries at a press conference because someone asked her a question she thought was mean, Britney Spears posted on Instagram that she opened a door with her mind, Ryan Reynolds’ new movie ‘Free Guy’ looked awful but ended up being great, and Jessie called the ‘White Lotus’ finale.

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These are the best goth tattoos and the most goth ways to off yourself according to Goth Ross and Goth Jessie. The lost 666 Goth Episode finally sees daylight.

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New York governor Andrew Cuomo has officially announced his resignation over the sexual harassment allegations against him (after telling the world he isn’t a pervert, just Italian), the new Jeopardy! host Mike Richards has some old lawsuits from his time at The Price is Right dug up, and Truly seltzer ran out of aluminum cans for their seltzer.

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South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone signed a $900 million deal to make 14 movies for Paramount+ and take their show into its 30th season, Kanye West is getting weirder and creepier every day that he lives in the bowels of Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Dr. Dre is a deadbeat dad, and Bill Gates goes on CNN to explain to Anderson Cooper how good of friends he was with Jeffrey Epstein.

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Kanye West is spending a million dollars a day to live at the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta, Simone Biles explains why she dropped out of the Olympics for a week, Giorgio recounts his Steel Reserve blackout, and a spoiled rich kid gets duct-taped to his chair on a Frontier Airlines flight because he grabbed a flight attendant’s private parts.

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Ross and Jessie talk about Fred Durst’s new look, HBO and Netflix building offices in Austin, Simone Biles winning Bronze in her return to the Olympics, Matt Damon’s ill-advised article on using gay slurs, and New York Governor Andrew Cuomo refusing to resign despite the Attorney General announcing that he definitely sexually harassed women.

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Ross and Jessie celebrate American gymnast Suni Lee’s gold medal win in the women’s individual all-around, Jessie is disgusted at Jared Leto’s newest film look, Ross talks about the website Gawker coming back, and Jessie hates deep dish pizza.

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Ross and Jessie discuss US gymnastics superstar Simone Biles leaving the team due to "mental health" reasons, the Woodstock doc on HBO, why AI was used in the new Anthony Bourdain movie, sad A-Rod vs Beniffer on dueling yachts, and Papa G gets the highest we've ever seen him on the show.

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Ross and Jessie break down how much money Dr. Dre’s wife is getting from him in their divorce, Harvey Weinstein looking like a dead body in court in LA, how terrible Ben Affleck and Matt Damon’s new movie looks, and Ross reads Giorgio’s Tinder sexts to a 50-year-old woman.

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