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Hello and welcome to the Love Life Connection podcast, a podcast for successful women who feel like they have it all except love. I'm your host of Veronica Grant, a love and life coach and my only goal with this podcast is to inspire you to believe in yourself and that real love is possible for you even in our swipe right, swipe left world.

Hello and welcome to day five of the 2020 Love Vision podcast challenge and congratulations you made it! After you listen to today's episode and do the mini assignment, you have completed this challenge and I hope you have a lot more clarity and guidance as to what your next steps are going to be in your love life. So today is day five and it's all about taking one action step towards love and I'm going to walk you through how to do that. So not to worry. And again, as always, if you haven't listened to you days one, two, three, and four and don't really know what I'm talking about, I highly recommend you start with day one and go from there because everything builds on the step before it. And I think it's just going to make the most sense and you'll get the most out of it.

Okay, so today we're going to finally take an action step towards love. Now I like to go real slow when it comes to creating new habits and actions in your love life and honestly just your life in general. That's because I believe that's how habits and things shift sustainably over the long term. I think that if you were to wake up tomorrow morning and just decide you're just going to change everything about all the habits that you do in your life, you might do it for a week, two weeks, maybe a month if you're super lucky and motivated. But at some point you're just going to get sick or you're going to get busy or you're going to get tired or whatever it is, and you're going to say, "Screw it." And you're going to go right back to whatever it was you were doing before.

So I like to just add in one, maybe two, habits at a time. Really stick with those for 40 days because that's what research says, how long it takes for a habit to stick. And then once that feels more normal and natural, add a habit or another action that you're going to take on top of that. I know that can feel like a really slow, daunting process, but I like to start with the biggest things that are going to make the biggest difference because a lot of times if we do one big habit differently, then I think that a lot of other smaller things can kind of just ride on the coattails.

So for example, let's say you really just want to get 10,000 steps every day. You know that if you moved your body, a lot of things would change for you. You would feel better, you'd be getting more oxytocin and oxygen and all of the feel good stuff into your body more so then your emotions would feel better. You wouldn't be as likely to go down as many rabbit holes, or shit talk yourself, and you'd probably also sleep better, then you'd feel more rested. So you could see how just picking one habit, I'm not saying 10,000 steps has to be the thing, but one habit can actually invite a lot of other things that you might want to shift in your life. And it will happen almost organically just because it's simply riding on the coattails of the big goal that you want to shift.

Now, here's how I like to think. When I'm thinking either for myself or with a client on what needs to shift in their life first. So I've talked about this on the show before. I talk about with all my clients. I think of everything in four categories. So what I mean by everything is the things that we can do to change our life, to change our love life, whatever part of life we want to change. And the four categories are the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual.

So the physical are things that you say, the things that you do, the things that you don't do. So that can be things like exercising. It can be about eating in a different way. It could be about setting up a morning routine and having some quiet time before you go to work. It could be about deciding to date again. It could be about deciding to not date again. It could be about having a conversation with somebody or saying no or asking for something. All the things that you do in the physical world, that is a physical habit that can shift. Yes, the mental, emotional, spiritual, but we're really focusing on the physical changes in your life.

The mental habits are going to be the habits that really focus on the thoughts going through your mind and thoughts are really important to look into because usually our thoughts just become the way we see and see the world and see ourselves. Our thoughts can often influence our emotions and our thoughts typically influence our habits too. And so the belief that your thoughts become your reality, that's not just like airy-fairy bullshit. It's actually really true. Your thoughts do become the things that you do and the things that you do ultimately will become your life. So things that can help shift the mental realm are things like affirmations. It can be self-talk, it can be journaling, depending on your style of journaling, like bullet journaling is definitely very, very mental. It can be things like EFT, or the emotional freedom technique, also known as tapping. It can also be rewriting the story that you tell yourself about you or about love or about relationships or the things that you have or it can't have in your life.

The next realm is the emotional and the emotional realm is the emotions where we feel. And this really falls into the category... or I guess the things that fall into this category are things like inner child work. Healing deep core wounds. Feeling your feelings, not being a pity party or having a pity party, but actually feeling your feelings. So that can include meditation. Although meditation can also be included in the mental, just depending on how you approach it and how you look at it. It can also include visualizations, especially if you do the inner child visualizations that I do with my clients. It can also include release writing, which is just writing out how you feel. It's not even your journal, it could just be scribble-scrabble. It could be writing letters to exes or to parents, giving them back old emotional wounding that you don't want to carry around anymore. It can be cord cutting, which is a visualization that you can do to cut cords from past situations or people in your life. Any of that stuff is going to fall into the emotional world.

The spiritual realm, that's really your relationship with yourself and your relationship with the universe or any kind of higher spiritual being that you might believe in. So it can be God, it can be a goddess, it can be lots of gods, lots of goddesses. It can be the divine. However you like to think of it. Spiritual realms, it's a little difficult to sometimes come up with tangible actions. But here's some ideas. I think that trust really falls into the spiritual realm. So trusting yourself, trusting the universe, trusting God. So that could include things like prayer every morning or every night. It can also include some mantras. Can be a little bit more spiritual in nature rather than just mental in nature. Just depending on what the mantra is. That can be very spiritual. I also think forgiveness in the way that I teach it, can be spiritual.

So forgiveness in terms of having a conversation with someone and saying, “I forgive you for doing dah, dah, dah.” I'm going to say that's more on the physical realm, but forgiveness and the spiritual world is more about connecting with someone who has hurt you in the past. They may or may not be aware that they've hurt you in the past and it's just about giving that back to them. So that whatever beliefs you created about yourself or the world, men, love, women relationships, whatever it is, it's just back to them. You're not allowing whatever they did or said or didn't do or didn't say to affect how you feel about yourself. So that's more of a spiritual forgiveness and you're not actually having a conversation. You're really just connecting with them in your mind, through meditation, or through writing and journaling. So that would be an example of more of a spiritual form of forgiveness.

Now, this list and the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual realms are definitely not exhaustive. But I do want you to come up with one action step that you can take based on what you discovered about yourself and your love life over the past four days. What is one thing that you can do physically that will help you to achieve your goals? What is one thing mentally, what does one thing emotionally, and what is one thing spiritually?

Now, you don't necessarily have to apply all of these four action steps. All right now, again, that can be a lot. I definitely recommend to start with either the emotional or the physical because sometimes we need to initially begin with the emotional, that will begin to get us unblocked so that then we can more easily move into the physical and mental realms and sometimes the emotional just feels... we're so disconnected from it that it would just be impossible to connect with any of our old emotional wounding. In which case starting in the physical would probably be better because that might then help you to actually connect with the emotions because the emotions do live in the physical body.

I recommend not starting with the mental first because that can often just sound a little pep talky. So if you decide for your mental thing that you want to start with some affirmations every day, affirmations are great, but when done alone, it can feel a little cheesy and honestly cause some cognitive dissonance because if you're saying, "I'm awesome," or "I love you," "I love myself," and you're just not there at all, then it can just feel a little forced, not really the best thing to start with.

A couple of other things that I want you to keep in mind as you're developing your action steps you're going to take is I want you to think about trying to crowd out. So I want you to add an action rather than try to take an action away. It's actually a lot easier and the idea is to crowd out. So if you're doing all of these things, then you're going to have less time and energy and space to do the old things. And I also want you to be really specific on a specific action and not just an idea.

So perhaps one of your action steps, maybe you originally said, I'm going to be nice to myself or I'm not going to talk shit to myself. And those are great things to do. I applaud that, I support that. Obviously I want everyone to be nice to themselves and to not talk shit to themselves. But the problem with that is it's just a little vague. It just, I don't know how you did it or you can't even really measure that you did it yourself. So instead maybe your action step is whenever I go down a rabbit hole of worry, I'm going to put one hand on my heart and one hand on my belly and take three deep breaths instead. Just to help you to relax and calm the mind or your emotions or whatever is running rampant. Or instead of talking shit to myself or whenever I find myself talking shit to myself, as soon as I realize it, I'm going to pull back and I'm going to say, "Veronica, you got this, you can do it. I believe in you and you were so loved." That's just an example. It can be whatever you want.

Now I want you to get creative. Obviously everything I've listed here, it's not an exhaustive list. So I want you to do what feels really good and resonate for you. And of course, if you want some ideas, I encourage you to come over to Instagram. I'm at @veronicaegrant. Send me a message, or comment on my photos. I'd love to support you. And you can also send me an email over at veronicagrant.com/contact if you are not on Instagram.

All right, that is a wrap for this podcast challenge. I really hope you loved it and you got a lot out of it and again, if you'd like a copy of the workbook that goes along with this podcast challenge, head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge.

And if you've been thinking that I might help you get out of your dating patterns and truly transform your relationships as I've done in my own life and the lives of oh so many of my clients and help you craft a life that serves you, I'd love to work with you. My clients have left toxic relationships, started to actually enjoy dating and meeting people, met their partners, gotten married and even had some babies. You can also expect to grow in your career, spirituality, sense of self, and more because guess what? You are the common denominator in your own life.

So if you're ready for massive transformation and are no longer available to stay stuck, I'd love to help you get out of this pattern. Head over to veronicagrant.com/coaching to learn more and take the next step, which is to schedule an introductory call with me. During our call together, we'll get to know each other and see if working together is the next right step for you. Again, that's veronicagrant.com/coaching. All right, that is it for this challenge. I will see you next week where I am bringing back a brand new podcast coaching episode. So until then...

Thanks for listening to the love life connection podcast. You can find the show notes for this episode at veronicagrant.com/podcast and that's also the place you can sign up to be coached by me here on the show. And if you love this podcast, please leave a review over on Apple Podcasts. It helps more incredible women like you find this show and find real love. Until next time, remember. Wherever you are is exactly where you need to be. You're not broken and you don't need to be fixed. Just because you've never had the relationship you want before, it doesn't mean you can't have it now.

• Don’t forget to download your workbook for this challenge. 
• Learn more about how your past can impact your love life and how to break old patterns in my virtual retreat, Shift Your Dating Patterns In A Weekend, March 7-8, 2020. 
• Ready to explore what working with me is like?  Learn more here.
• Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
• If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to day four of the 2020 Love Vision Podcast Challenge. This week on the podcast, I'm doing something a little different in celebration of Valentine's Day. I want to help you get refocused on your love life so you get unstuck and can move forward. Each day this week on the podcast, I'm releasing a mini episode that will help you get clear on your goals and your love life, overcome blocks getting in your way, and you'll end the challenge with creating some tangible action steps that will change your love life. Today is day four and it's all about trusting love. So if you haven't listened to days one, two, and three yet, I highly recommend you start there first. It'll make today's topic much more understandable.

So today is all about trusting love and trusting something new. Now, this might seem counterintuitive or it might even feel like it doesn't apply to you or you don't think you fall into this trap, but I think most of us do, and part of that is because of biology, which I'll explain in a minute. But sometimes what you actually want, so in this case, you want a healthy, happy, loving partnership with someone that ideally lasts for many years, if not your life, and a lot of times that can actually feel so scary that you might actually sabotage yourself. Sabotaging yourself can look like continuing to pick the "wrong" guys. It can look like continuing to stay single and not even try to date. It can look like just going on date after date like a freaking robot and not trying anything different. It can also look like putting off getting support in this area from a coach or a therapist who can actually help you do some of the work, so that your patterns and habits change.

Now, the reason why we do this, I mean, for a lot of reasons, but the biggest thing is any kind of change, whether it's a change towards something that you don't know anything about or a change you don't want, or even if it's towards a change of something that you want, it can still feel really, really scary. Our brain is wired to operate on autopilot. Our brain just wants to use the littlest amount of energy it takes to perform a task. And this isn't a bad thing, right? This is a good thing. Imagine how exhausting life would be if you had to consciously think about every single little thing that you did each day. If you had to consciously think, "Okay, I'm going to put my sock on, and then I put my shoe on, and put my foot in my shoe, and then I'll tighten the laces," I mean, that would just be exhausting.

That's what it's like when you're a two, or three, or four, or five year old, you're just learning the drills of day to day life, but eventually, all of these things that we do just become nature, becomes habit and we can do them on autopilot. And because we can do so many things on autopilot, that allows us to do a lot of other things like do our jobs and have deep intimate relationships, and it allows us to do things like rock climb, or run, or hike, or play an instrument, or write a book, or do all these other things that we get to do as humans.

When it comes to your love life, it really is no different. You may not want to sit at home every night feeling sorry for yourself about your love life. You may not want to continue going on date after date after date that leads to nowhere. You may not want to continue attracting unhealthy relationships. But on some level, there's a comfort there. You know what to do. You know how to handle it. You know how to deal with the frustrations and the feelings around being upset or feeling lonely. You just know what to do. And there's definitely a familiarity in that, there's a comfort in that. And sometimes that comfort can sometimes feel like love, and that makes it really hard to: a) be attracted to someone who's actually exhibiting healthy, happy relationships. And also what it can do is it can just make it really scary to do something different.

So today's assignment is a little bit different. I don't really have that many journaling questions for you because honestly, when it comes to trusting the unknown, which is basically what I'm asking you to do, it's really something you have to practice. It's an experience you have to have. You can't really intellectualize yourself through it. And while journaling can definitely be an emotional experience, for sure, I think it's more of a mental exercise, right? Because you're processing your thoughts, you're writing things down, and I think it really helps you to organize your thoughts, and to think about your thoughts, and to put them into certain ways and logic, and that can help you reframe and create different stories. Super important, super powerful, but also sometimes we just need to trust. We need to trust that even if we get into a relationship that makes us really nervous and you might get your heartbroken, you can survive and it's not going to mean anything about who you are or your worthiness or any of those things.

And so I think the only way to really create that kind of trust is through doing. Evidence ultimately breeds confidence. And so you have to do it over and over again. One of my favorite ways to do it is actually to do it through meditation. And so if you download the workbook for this podcast challenge, then when you get to the day four page, there's actually going to be a link in there that will take you to a meditation that's all about just giving yourself tons and tons and tons of love. And for a lot of you, this might feel really, really uncomfortable because it's just not a state of being that you're used to having. Even if you feel like, "Well, yeah, I feel like I love myself or I can give myself love that feels normal and natural," well, remember this isn't just about doing pedicures or buying yourself flowers, which I love those things, don't get me wrong. This is really more work on the emotional and the spiritual level, which actually we'll talk about a little bit more tomorrow.

So I want you to try this meditation, try the exercise that I give you in the workbook so that you can begin to build that self-trust and that self-love, which will ultimately help you to naturally be more vulnerable because you won't be feeling like you need to act a certain way or be a certain way in order to be good enough or in order to be loved. Okay, so to download the meditation, head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge, and there you can download the workbook for free. And remember, so far in this challenge, you know where you are now. You know where you want to go. You know where some of the blocks that are going to either slow you down or altogether prevent you from getting you to where you want to go. Now, think of this step as kind of just like a pep talk, like, okay, I can go this new route. I can do this new thing differently. I'm worth investing this time and energy into myself to do this, and I can do it and it's possible for me. That's what today is all about.

So again, I would love to hear what you think and what comes up for you. You can come join me over on Instagram, I'm @veronicaegrant. Send me a DM or a comment on one of my photos and let me know. If you're not over on the ‘Gram, that's totally fine. Head over to veronicagrant.com/contact and send me your questions or what came up for you. I would love to hear from you. I really, really would and I responded to everything that comes my way.

All right, that is a wrap for day four. Again, to grab the workbook, veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge. And if you've been thinking that I might help you get out of your dating patterns and truly transform your relationships as I've done in my own life and the lives of oh-so many of my clients and help you craft a life that serves you, I'd love to work with you. My clients have left toxic relationships, started to actually enjoy dating and meeting people, met their partners, gotten married, and even had some babies. You can also expect to grow in your career, spirituality, sense of self and more because, guess what? You are the common denominator in your own life.

So if you're ready for massive transformation and are no longer available to stay stuck, I'd love to help you get out of this pattern. Head over to veronicagrant.com/coaching to learn more and take the next step, which is to schedule an introductory call with me. During our call together, we'll get to know each other and see if working together is the next right step for you. Again, that's veronicagrant.com/coaching.

All right, that's it. I will see you tomorrow where we're diving into day five, which is the last day of the podcast challenge, and we're going to dive into taking one action step towards love. See you then.

Thanks for listening to the Love Life Connection podcast. You can find the show notes for this episode at veronicagrant.com/podcast, and that's also the place you can sign up to be coached by me here on the show. And if you love this podcast, please leave a review over on Apple Podcasts. It helps more incredible women like you find the show and find real love.

Until next time, remember, wherever you are is exactly where you need to be. You're not broken and you don't need to be fixed. Just because you've never had the relationship you want before, doesn't mean you can't have it now.

• Don’t forget to download your workbook for this challenge. 
• Learn more about how your past can impact your love life and how to break old patterns in my virtual retreat, Shift Your Dating Patterns In A Weekend, March 7-8, 2020. 
• Ready to explore what working with me is like?  Learn more here.
• Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
• If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community! 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to day three of the 2020 Love Vision Podcast Challenge. This week on the podcast, I'm doing something a little different in celebration of Valentine's Day. I want to help you get refocused on your love life so that you can get unstuck and move forward.

Each day this week on the podcast, I'm releasing a mini episode that will help you get clear on your goals in your love life, overcome blocks getting in your way, and you'll end the challenge with creating some tangible action steps that will change your love life. Today is day three and it's all about your love blocks. Now, if you haven't listened to days one and two first, I highly recommend you do that before starting here. It will make a lot more sense when we get to the exercise for today.

Okay, so today is all about love blocks and I'm thinking that this is what I'm becoming known for in the relationship and love world because a lot of women come to me specifically because of my work around inner child work.

I do believe that as adults we are all playing out old, unresolved issues from our childhood. And this is true across the board. It does not matter your socioeconomic status. It does not matter your religious background, your racial/ethnic background. It does not matter if you've come from a family that looks idyllic and like our Sweet Pete on The Bachelor. It does not matter if you've come from a family of any kind of trauma or divorce. Everyone has stuff. Everyone is a human. Everyone at some point has lost that sense of love, safety, and belonging.

And whenever you have lost that sense of love, safety, and belonging, then you have created some sort of habit, and that habit might turn into a pattern, over many years that will help you to compensate so that you don't feel that pain of not feeling the love, safety, and belonging.

This is completely normal. It's completely natural. And it is completely human. So if you have noticed that you have some patterns or some blocks that aren't super helpful, and you're aware that they're not helpful, and maybe even at this point you know that they're harmful for you, I want you to know that that's normal and it's okay. It does not mean that there's anything wrong with you. It does not mean that you're broken or anything like that.

I really don't buy into the belief that you are broken and you have to be whole and healed in order to find love, because that would mean that all people in a relationship are whole and healed. And that's just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I think the better question is from where are you attracting your relationships?

So today we're going to figure out where that place is. Is it a place of fear? Is it a place of not feeling good enough? Is it a place of trying to please, and compensate, and all of those things? Well, what kind of relationship do you think that's going to attract versus attracting from a place of feeling good enough, a feeling like you have so much to give and you want to share that love, or I guess you could say healed place would be? So again, if you want to have all of these journaling questions and exercises that I talk about here on the podcast in writing, then head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge, and there you can download the workbook for free.

Okay, so to get started with figuring out what's blocking you, this is really a natural next step after days one and two. In day one we talked about where are you right now, where are you starting. In day two we talked about where are you going and now it's, what's getting in the way.

So using this Google Map analogy again, it's like you put in your address of where you want to go in Google Maps and it has your location so it knows where you are now and Google Maps might give you a few different options. It might say, there's a big traffic jam if you go this route. And you go this route, it's a little bit longer, but the traffic seems to be moving faster. And if you go that route there seems to be a lot of speed traps. And you go this route, there are a bunch of tolls. And so then you have to figure out if you have cash on you to pay the tolls, or whatever it is, right?

The point is that there's all these obstacles that are going to get in your way. They're going to either block you totally or slow you down from getting to where you need to go. In our love life world, the same thing is true. You have some blocks that are either totally preventing you or slowing you down from getting into the relationship that you want. And most of them come from childhood.

And any blocks that were created when you were older, especially as an adult or a young adult, they might have started in that moment when you were an adult possibly because you experienced some form of trauma. That would certainly create some blocks because it would create some story about yourself, which will create some limiting beliefs. So of course that's going to create some less than ideal habits.

However, I would say that even then, not all the time for sure, but a lot of the time, even some of those less than ideal relationships that happened when in your 20s and that were really traumatic and really created a lot of pain and you felt like were a turning point in your life, a lot of times those also can be a manifestation of childhood stuff.

Not all the time, of course, things happen, but I would say... I don't know, I don't have a percentage, a lot of the time. Most of the time. I'm not really sure. But even if you think, well, I was totally fine until this relationship when I was 25 or 30 or whatever, I really invite you to dig back even a little deeper and say, well where did that relationship manifest from? Where did I attract that relationship from? So they can really down to the root of it.

I do think that you need to get as close as you can to the root of your core wounding. We all have core wounds because that's where the wound was created, and so that's where it can best be healed. So what I want you to do now is, again, if you're journaling now, then go ahead and open your journal. You can pause me as I list all the questions, or you can just write the questions down now, journal later, or download the workbook.

But what I want you to do is I want you to just feel into how you feel and your love life. So we did this on day one, and for some of you it might've felt really crappy. You might've felt really ashamed. You might've felt not good enough. All of these feelings might've come up for you as we excavated the current state of your love life.

So I want you to drop into feeling that right now. Now, depending on where you are in your situation and your love life, you might be with a specific person and it's maybe not going the way you wanted it to go. So then you can drop into how you feel and the dynamic in that relationship. Or it might just be your love life isn't anyone specifically, and you're dating a lot or not dating at all. How do you feel?

And the reason that I want you to jump into this is because this is how we're going to trace it back to where it came from. Now again, just like I said in day one, we're not solving anything. We're not fixing anything. We're not removing any blocks right now. All I want you to do is just get really clear on what the blocks actually are.

So what I want you to do, again, you're thinking about how you feel, you're really feeling into it. You might notice that you feel it in your body somewhere. You might feel a tightening in your chest or your throat. You might feel something like in the pit of your stomach. You might feel something completely elsewhere in your body. Again, it's all normal. Wherever you feel it is totally fine. You can't mess this up.

And what I want you to do as you're feeling into that, I want you to ask yourself, what does this reminds you of? Or what does feeling like this remind you of? Or another way to ask it is, if you're in a specific relationship with a person, who does that person remind you of? And if you're not in a relationship with someone right now, think about your previous relationships that you have been with and ask yourself, who do they remind you of?

And when you feel into those relationships, when you feel into your love life, I want you to ask herself, how old do you feel? So the questions again are, who (or what) does that remind you of, and how old do you feel? And then I just want you to begin thinking about, well, what was going on in that time of your life when you felt five, when you felt eight? Or if it reminds you of a certain situation, what was going on in the situation? Or if it reminds you of a person, probably your mom or your dad, most likely, then how does it remind you of those people? What are the similarities?

And this is going to begin to tell you, or show you, how you're playing out some of these old things. Maybe you didn't get the love that you wanted from dad, and so now as an adult, you're trying to fill that void with the men that you're dating. Or maybe you never felt good enough. Or maybe you felt like you were actually always the black sheep in the family. You just didn't really fit in. And maybe your parents even said stuff like that. And so maybe now you feel like, "Well, I'm too much for people. No one's going to like me." And so you find yourself watering yourself down in relationships.

Now, these are just two very broad examples. Everyone's going to have a little bit of nuance, but there are infinite number of ways that you could be connecting the dots here and understanding where your blocks came from. Because your blocks come from your core wounds. Because you have a core wound you didn't feel that love, safety, and belonging, that created some feeling of not safety in your body and your emotions. And so you created some habit. You created some belief about yourself or a story about yourself. And then if it just happened once and you get over it, then fine. But typically those things ultimately become habits, which become patterns, which become blocks, and becomes a way in which we see the world.

So I would love to know what you came up with. Come on over to Instagram. Let me know I'm @veronicaegrant, and if you're not Instagram, then head over to veronicagrant.com/contact and tell me what you realized. And if you have questions or if you're struggling to connect those dots, then I would love to know that too so I can maybe answer some questions.

All right, so that is a wrap for day three of the podcast challenge and again, if you'd like a copy of the workbook that goes along with this challenge, head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge.

If you've been thinking that I might help you get out of your dating patterns and truly transform your relationships as I've done in my own life and the lives of so many of my clients and help you craft a life that serves you, I'd love to work with you.

My clients have left toxic relationships, started to actually enjoy dating and meeting people, met their partners, gotten married, and even had some babies. You can also expect to grow in your career, spirituality, sense of self, and more, because guess what? You are the common denominator in your own life. So if you're ready for a massive transformation and are no longer available to stay stuck, I'd love to help you get out of this pattern. Head over to veronicagrant.com/coaching to learn more and take the next step, which is to schedule an introductory call with me. During our call together, we'll get to know each other and see if working together is the next right step for you. Again, that's veronicagrant.com/coaching.

All right, that's it. I will see you tomorrow where we'll dive into trusting love. Thanks for listening to the Love Life Connection Podcast. You can find the show notes for this episode at veronicagrant.com/podcast. And that's also the place you can sign up to be coached by me here on the show. And if you love this podcast, please leave a review over on Apple Podcasts. It helps more incredible women like you find this show and find real love.

Until next time, remember wherever you are is exactly where you need to be. You're not broken and you don't need to be fixed. Just because you've never had the relationship you want before, doesn't mean you can't have it now.

• Don’t forget to download your workbook for this challenge. 
• Learn more about how your past can impact your love life and how to break old patterns in my virtual retreat, Shift Your Dating Patterns In A Weekend, March 7-8, 2020. 
• Ready to explore what working with me is like?  Learn more here.
• Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
• If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello! Welcome to day two of the 2020 Love Vision Podcast Challenge. Today is all about your love vision and if you haven't already listened to day one, I highly recommend you start there, so just scroll up on your podcast player. It is the next episode and listen to that. It's pretty short. And then come back here. And in case you missed it, this week on the podcast, I'm doing something a little different. So in celebration of Valentine's Day, I want to help you get refocused on your love life so that you can get unstuck and move forward.

Each day this week on the podcast, I'm releasing a mini episode that will help you get clear on your goals in love, overcome blocks getting in your way, and of course, you'll end the challenge with some tangible action steps that will change your love life. So let's go ahead and get started with your love vision. Now, just like yesterday's challenge was all about where are you right now, now we need to know where do you want to go. Again, bringing back the example of Google maps or the cat from Alice in Wonderland, we know where you are now. Now we need to know where you want to go so that we know if you need to turn right, and then left, and then go straight, and then go right again. So often, I work with women who desperately want a relationship, they know they want a relationship in their heart of hearts, and it is something that consumes a lot of their emotional bandwidth and just their energy throughout the day.

But then when it comes to actually getting clear, well, what do you want your relationship to look and feel like? How does that fit into your life? Then, often they're a little confused and not sure of what they want. And it's not surprising that many of these same women will often continue to feel frustrated and unseen in relationships because they don't know what to ask for. They don't know what they want. And so how can you even ask for something if you don't know what you want? Think of a child screaming that can't talk, so they're like a year old or something and they're screaming because they're hungry, or they're cold, or they're tired. They don't have the words at that point to articulate it. And so as their mom or dad, you just kind of have to guess what you think they want, or what they need, and then you try those different things and hopefully one of those things will get the child to stop screaming.

But once we're adults, we know our words. You know your words. And at some point, if you're feeling unseen, or unsatisfied, or unfulfilled in a relationship, it might be true that it's not the right relationship or the right person. But what also is probably true is that they may not know what you need or want, and so they don't know what to do. And that's going to create a lot of frustration on your end because you're going to feel unseen and unwanted and unloved, and that's not going to feel very good. But honestly, they're going to feel really frustrated too, because they're going to feel like no matter what they do, it's not enough. And it really just comes down to good communication. But again, I'm beating a dead horse here, but I just want you to get this across that there can be no communication on this topic if you don't know what to ask for.

So again, I'm going to give you some journaling questions that I really want you to take some time with. And I know yesterday I was like, if you don't want to journal, that's fine. Just think about it, meditate on it. But I really, really want you to write this down because I think it's really important to have on a pen and paper, or a notes app on your phone, just so that you can be reminded of what it is that you want in a relationship so that when you're in a situation where you're like, "I don't know if this feels good, something feels off. I don't know if this is what I want." You have something that you can refer back to, to help remind you of whether or not this relationship could be the right thing or not. Because sometimes when we're actually in the relationship, it's very easy to get lost in it and lost in all the emotions, and the triggers, and all that kind of stuff.

And sometimes we can get a little googly-eyed and really forget the core values that you might have. So definitely write these down and of course if you want some support, help with these journaling questions, then head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge. And there you can download the workbook and the workbook has all of these questions and some more notes and just some thoughts about today's challenge there so that you can read through that and you don't have to take notes with what I'm teaching you in case you are out on a run, or a walk, or walking the dog, or doing the dishes or whatever. So the theme of today is, what do you want in love? And I just want to give you a few pointers before we get started with the journaling questions. The first thing is that I want you to understand that you might need to relearn what love feels like.

A lot of times we have been in relationships that have had high-highs and low-lows and the high-highs feel fricking amazing. And the low-lows feel miserable. But we want that high-high again so bad. And so what happens is we begin to compare that high-high to what love is. And so then you go out with someone who seems like a nice person and you're like, "I don't know, I'm kind of bored. Why am I not into the nice guys? I'm only into the asshole guys." And that's because you've taught yourself that high-high is love, and that's not really what love is. If you want a little bit more information on this, I highly recommend you listen to my episode on this topic specifically, veronicagrant.com/episode111, and I'll put that link in the show notes so that you can go back and listen to it if you'd like.

I do recommend if you can relate to this little conundrum that I know a lot of women find themselves in. So again, the high-high does not equal love. You might need to relearn what love feels like and in fact, that's going to be a challenge later on in this challenge series so we can work a little bit more on that. I believe it's day four so know that is coming. However, just know that this might be something on the horizon that you will have to work at. The other thing is that chemistry doesn't equal compatibility. Chemistry can be awesome. Chemistry can just mean great sex and it's nothing more. It's just great sex. But that does not mean that someone is actually going to be compatible with your lifestyle, with your values, with the things that you want out of life, with the things that you want out of a relationship, the things that you don't want a relationship, all of those things.

So I want you to look beyond chemistry. And I know a lot of you, it's really important for you to have strong physical affection and a great sex life with your partner. And I strongly, strongly agree. I think that's important. That's really what makes a romantic partnership different than the other relationships that we have in our life. But I want you to know that chemistry doesn't equal compatibility, and often chemistry can come from compatibility. And so often if chemistry is there first and it's like you see the person across the room and you're like “Oh shit, gotta have that person!”, then that can actually be a trigger or it can be actually something related to your inner child. I've talked about this a little bit more on the podcast. I'm not going to go too much into it now. Maybe I'll do another podcast episode about this specifically if you're interested in learning more, but if you listened to Summer Love School when I had Ken Page on the program, he talked about this. Anyways, so just want to put that out there.

So go ahead and grab your journal, or download the workbook, whatever you're going to do, and I want you to write down these questions so that you can either pause me and go through the questions now as you're listening or come back to them when you are going to do some journaling time in your day. Okay, so the first question is, I want you to think of someone in your life who you love or loves you. And ideally this relationship is not a triggered relationship, so it's likely not going to be a parent. It's likely not going to be a former lover. It might be a really good friend. It might be a pet. It might be an aunt, or it might be a child. It might be a sibling. It might be a really close friend or coworker, whoever. Just make sure that this relationship is trigger-free as possible.

And then I want you to think about what is it about their love or that person that makes you feel safe and secure. And I want you to get really, really specific because those are going to give you some clues as to what's important to you in a loving, trusting relationship. Then the next question is how can that inform what you want in a relationship? Okay. So those questions all kind of cluster together. And then the next two questions cluster together. And that is how do you want to feel in your ideal relationship and what are your values? So what are your values in life? What are your values in love and relationships with men and women? With health? All of these things. Just what are your values? Because I don't think you necessarily need to have the same values as the person that you're calling into your life but I definitely think you need to have parallel values. They need to work together.

And then the next three cluster of questions is a relationship envisioning exercise. And it's one of my favorites. The first question is who do you want to be in your ideal relationship? The next question is what do you want to do in your ideal relationship? So what does your relationship actually do? How does it fit into your life? Do you travel together? Do you go on walks every evening? What are the things that you do in your ideal relationship? And then what do you want to have in your ideal relationship? So think of the tangible and intangible. Do you want kids, do you want a family? Do you want a business together? Do you want a home together? Also do you want to feel like a team? Do you want to have trust? What kind of bond do you want to have? What kind of sex life do you want to have? What kind of communication do you want to have? So what do you want to have in your ideal relationship?

And I just want you to really focus on the questions that I'm giving you rather than something along the lines of a “perfect man list”. I've talked a lot about a “perfect man list”. I really think they keep you stuck in single because it's just a way of taking our past experiences and projecting that onto the future as to what we think we want or what we think will make us happy. But ultimately why we want anything in life is because we think these things will make us feel a certain way. So I want to start with how you want to feel in your ideal relationship and work from there rather than saying, oh well if I have this kind of person and they've got this kind of job and they're this height and all these things, then we think we'll be happy. And ultimately more often than not, that is not true.

So I can't wait to hear what you think about these questions, what comes up for you, what questions you have. Come on over to Instagram and let me know. I'm @veronicaegrant and if you're not on Instagram, that's totally fine. Head over to veronicagrant.com/contact and there you can submit any questions or insights or ahas. I'd really love to hear from you. Okay, so that is a wrap for day two of the podcast challenge and again, if you'd like a copy of the workbook that goes along with this podcast challenge, head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge. And if you've been thinking that I might help you get out of your dating patterns and truly transform your relationships as I've done in my own life and the lives of oh so many of my clients and help you craft a life that serves you, I'd love to work with you.

My clients have left toxic relationships, started to actually enjoy dating and meeting people, met their partners, gotten married, and even had some babies. You can also expect to grow in your career, spirituality, sense of self and more because guess what? You are the common denominator in your own life. So if you're ready for a massive transformation and are no longer available to stay stuck, I'd love to help you get out of this pattern. Head over to veronicagrant.com/coaching to learn more and take the next step, which is to schedule an introductory call with me. During our call together, we'll get to know each other and see if working together is the next right step for you. Again, that's veronicagrant.com/coaching. All right, that's it. I will see you tomorrow where we'll dive into your love blocks.

Thanks for listening to the Love Life Connection Podcast. You can find the show notes for this episode at veronicagrant.com/podcast and that's also the place you can sign up to be coached by me here on the show. And if you love this podcast, please leave a review over on Apple Podcast. It helps more incredible women like you find this show and find real love. Until next time, remember wherever you are is exactly where you need to be. You're not broken and you don't need to be fixed. Just because you've never had the relationship you want before, doesn't mean you can't have it now.

• Don’t forget to download your workbook for this challenge. 
• Learn more about how your past can impact your love life and how to break old patterns in my virtual retreat, Shift Your Dating Patterns In A Weekend, March 7-8, 2020. 
• Ready to explore what working with me is like?  Learn more here.
• Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!

If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Surprise! I am here in your podcast feed on a Monday and you might be wondering why. Well, today is day one of the 2020 Love Vision Podcast Challenge. So this week on the podcast I'm doing something a little different in celebration of Valentine's day. I want to help you get refocused in your love life so that you can get unstuck and finally move forward. So each day on the podcast this week I'm releasing a mini episode that will help you get clear on your goals and your love life, overcome blocks getting in your way, and you'll end the challenge with creating some tangible action steps that will change your love life. So today is day one and it's all about taking a love inventory.

Now, I will tell you that this is probably the step that most of you want to skip the most, and I'm telling you don't. It's actually super, super important that you don't skip out on your love inventory. When I mean love inventory, I mean assessing where you are in your love life right now. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Now, a lot of people want to skip this step because it's really uncomfortable. We don't really want to admit where we are or really see where we are. We'd rather just turn a blind eye to it or stick her head in the sand and just immediately start moving to something new or something different in your love life. I really, really believe though, as a coach, that to get to where you want to go, you have to be super clear on where you are right now.

It kind of reminds me, it's not exactly a parallel, but it's still kind of reminds me of that scene from Alice in Wonderland where Alice is completely lost and she doesn't know where to go and so she tells the cat, "Hey, I'm lost. I don't know which way to go." And he's like, "Well, where do you want to go?" And she's like, "Wherever, I don't care." And he's like, "Well, you can go wherever you want then." So when you put your directions into Google Maps, Google Maps needs to know where you are now so it can tell you how to get to where you need to go, location B. And I think when it comes to our emotional state, our spiritual state, or mental state, or our physical state, wherever we want to change and our life, we need to know when to turn right and when to turn left. And we know that based on where you are now. So it's really important that you know what kind of people you're attracting. It's really important that you know what kind of boundaries you are or are not setting. It's really important for you to understand what you're putting up with, and maybe you need to ask for, or not ask for, or whatever it is.

Okay. So, I am going to give you some questions that I want you to journal on. If nothing else, definitely think and meditate on them, but I really want you to be radically honest with yourself. Now, if you want to download the workbook that goes with this podcast challenge, I highly recommend you do, because I've included some extra notes in the workbook and I've also just got everything laid out so you can follow it really clearly and easily. You just head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge. Again, the workbook is totally free, as is the challenge. But the workbook will just help you to stay focused and also all the journaling questions and all the other assignments that I give throughout this podcast challenge will be all there so that in case you're listening to this podcast as you're running, or driving, or cleaning, or whatever, you don't need to stop and take notes on all the questions, they're all right there for you. So again, veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge, and you can download the workbook there.

Okay, I would love to see you actually write these questions down and the answers down and actually journal on them in your journal, on a piece of paper, in the workbook, wherever. If you're really not a journaler and you're really resistant to it, definitely at least think about it, meditate on it, and maybe go on a walk and think about a couple of the questions and just really see what comes up for you. And again, I want you to be radically honest. 

So here's some questions that I want you to think about. #1: How does your love life feel right now? So does it feel exhausting? Does it feel like it's something you're just putting on the back burner over and over again? Does it feel like it's draining? Does it feel fun? Does it feel exciting? Does it feel passionate? Does it feel a number of these things altogether? Does it some days feel really good and exciting and some days really crappy and just really blah?

There's no right or wrong here and I don't want you to be in fix it mode right now, not that you're broken, or not that you're ever broken. I never liked the idea of fixing ourselves or fixing things in our life, but I don't want you to be in a state right now like, "Okay, well, this is really bad, I need to change it." I just want you to assess where you are right now. It's kind of like if you've been really bad with money for many months, or many years, and then you finally want to start setting a budget, and setting some goals to save money, at some point you actually have to look at your bank account and see how much debt you have and see how much money is actually in your account. You have to be able to look at those numbers even if they're uncomfortable so that you can set some reasonable goals to budget for and reasonable goals to save for. And it's the same thing here. 

So we're not trying to fix, or solve, or change anything now, I just want you to get super, super clear. Okay, so again, how does your love life feel right now? That's the big question that I really want you to journal on or think about. And then after that, I want you to think about what are some of the patterns that keep coming up over and over again.

Sometimes patterns can be in the form of people. They can be that you're attracting the same kind of person over and over again, and sometimes it can be the same kind of situation over and over again. Sometimes the same thing can happen to you over and over again. Sometimes you can feel the same way in a relationship over and over again. All of these are patterns. You might be experiencing one or more patterns, but I want you just to write down any kind of patterns that you notice, no matter how big, or small, or insignificant they seem. Everything is important when it comes to connecting the dots, which we'll get to later on in this week.

The next question I want you to consider is: What are you putting up with? What is some crappy behavior from other people, or even from yourself, that you're putting up with that? Maybe it's time to stop, but again, we're not there in fix it mode yet, we're just noticing what kind of behavior or situations or things or people that you're putting up with. And then the next question is: What are you not asking for? What are you not asking for? What are some things that you would like to have in your love life or that you need in your love life but you're not asking for them?

And then finally, this is one of my favorite exercises, and it's actually an exercise that I used to do with clients a lot, I don't do it as much anymore, I don't know why, it's actually a great exercise. But basically, it comes in a lot of different forms. I've seen it in the form of the Wheel of Life where you have a circle that looks like a pie. So you've divided out in different sections of life and then you rank how good or bad that area of your life is, and you draw the circle and it's really jagged, then that can show you what areas of your life need work.

You can do that. I also just like to list out the main categories of my life and then rank them on a scale of one to ten, 10 being, "This feels really awesome in my life right now," and 1 being, "This part of my life feels really hard, really draining, really heavy, want ignore to all of those things." So instead of looking at your entire life, though you can certainly do that, I've broken down some categories within your love life to look at because all of these things are ultimately the ingredients for a healthy relationship. And so if your boundaries are off or your communication's off, or whatever it is, then it's going to be really, really hard for you to create a healthy relationship when these skills and tools aren't where they need to be. So again, not trying to fix it and not trying to judge yourself.

Let's just rank where each of these categories are in your love life. And again, I have all these categories written down in the workbook at veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge if you want to grab them there. But right now, or I can tell you right now, the categories are Boundaries, Communication, Worthiness, (how worthy do you feel of love? How worthy do you feel of someone's attention, love, adoration, things like that). Reciprocity, (how much does your love life feel it's reciprocal, or even, do you feel like you're putting more of the energy and effort into your love life?) Passion/Excitement, does it feel exciting and passionate? And then finally Trust. How much do you trust yourself? How much do you trust the process? How much do you trust others? So where would you rank trust? So I'll say those again quickly. Boundaries, Communication, Worthiness, Reciprocity, Excitement/Passion and Trust.

And actually, you know what, I'm going to go ahead and add Vulnerability in there because I think that's also really important. And honestly, you can feel free to add any other categories that are important to you that I didn't mention within your love life. But I think these really cover the big pieces when it comes to creating a healthy, happy relationship, so we'll add vulnerability in there.

All right, that is it for day one. Again, if you'd like a copy of the workbook that goes along with this podcast challenge, head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge. And if you've been thinking that I might help you get out of your dating patterns and truly transform your relationships, as I've done in my own life and the lives of oh so many of my clients, and help you craft a life that serves you, I'd love to work with you. My clients have left toxic relationships, started to actually enjoy dating and meeting people, met their partners, gotten married, and even had some babies. You can also expect to grow in your career, spirituality, sense of self, and more because guess what? You are the common denominator in your own life.

So if you're ready for a massive transformation and are no longer available to stay stuck, I'd love to help you get out of this pattern. Head over to veronicagrant.com/coaching to learn more and take the next step, which is to schedule an introductory call with me. During our call together, we'll get to know each other and see if working together is the next right step for you. Again, that's veronicagrant.com/coaching.

All right, that's it. I will see you tomorrow when we dive into your love vision. Thanks for listening to the Love Life Connection podcast. You can find the show notes for this episode at veronicagrant.com/podcast, and that's also the place you can sign up to be coached by me here on the show. And if you love this podcast, please leave a review over on Apple Podcasts. It helps more incredible women like you find this show and find real love. Until next time, remember wherever you are is exactly where you need to be. You're not broken and you don't need to be fixed. Just because you've never had the relationship you want before, doesn't mean you can't have it now.

• Don’t forget to download your workbook for this challenge. 
• Learn more about how your past can impact your love life and how to break old patterns in my virtual retreat, Shift Your Dating Patterns In A Weekend, March 7-8, 2020. 
• Ready to explore what working with me is like?  Learn more here.
• Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!

If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 203 of the Love Live Connection podcast.

Today I have a great guest joining me, Katie, and we’re discussing coaching, how to get started as a life coach, and why authenticity is the real key to success. I hope you find this conversation inspiring, definitely reach out to me and let me know what you think. 

3:00 - About my passion for working with coaches and why I love it. 

6:55 - Ask yourself - why do you want to be a coach and what specialty do you have to offer?   

7:35 - Welcome Katie to the show! 

11:00 - Finding the path to becoming the coach you would want for yourself.  

16:45 - Identify your potential clients and what their pain points are. 

20:50 - We talk about the fear surrounding changing careers and starting a new business. 

25:30 - It all comes back to our inner belief systems,  where do these feelings and worries originate? 

31:50 - The best way to find clients is to be your own best client. 

34:30 - My 7 steps for coaches to build a successful, profitable business. 

46:10 - Next week - I have a super special Valentine’s Day surprise coming Monday, don’t miss it. 

• Other episodes about becoming a life coach and building your coaching business. 
• Learn more about how your past can impact your love life and how to break old patterns in my virtual retreat, Shift Your Dating Patterns In A Weekend, March 7-8, 2020. 
• Ready to explore what working with me is like?  Learn more here.
• Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!

If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to this special bonus episode of The Love Life Connection Podcast. What do we think of Pilot Pete? I go over this season’s first four episodes of The Bachelor and give you my thoughts. Don’t forget to check out my fabulous virtual retreat coming up in March, Shift Your Dating Patterns In A Weekend. I want to hear from you though, come over to Instagram and let me know if you are loving this series! 

Let’s get started. 

We start our conversation with a few reminders and background details 

2:25 - I was rooting for Mike but here we are with Pilot Pete 

4:20 - I think Pete is on the show for the right reasons 

7:55 - I can’t choose a front runner because Pete falls in love with everyone

Key lessons from this episode

12:25 - The role of family, how we fell for Pete’s perfect parents and the contestant’s family relationships  

18:45 - Enough with the girl-on-girl drama! 

23:00 - Historical roots of competition between women 

28:40 - Shoutout to the assertive women going after what they want 

34:50 - 3 lessons recap: Your parents don’t determine your relationship success, women are not your enemy, and go after what you want 

And the Patriarchy Roses go to… 

35:30 - Madison’s objectification, weight gain, and weight loss portrayal 

37:30 - The gross pillow fight

38:15 - All the girl-on-girl crime going on! 

40:20 - Champagne-gate with Kelsey 

41:15 - Hannah Ann claiming bullying and showing her privilege 

Grab your favorite drink, and come along for the ride!

• How to know to Stay or Leave a Relationship
• What Nobody Will Tell You About What Relationships Are REALLY Like
• How to know to stay or leave in a relationship with Lee
• How To Get Over the Fear of Being Vulnerable with Bailey

After you listen to this episode, here are your next steps:

• Learn more about how your past can impact your love life and how to break old patterns in my virtual retreat, Shift Your Dating Patterns In A Weekend, March 7-8, 2020 
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come say hello! And let me know if there are specific topics from the Bachelor you’d like me to talk about here.
• If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it in iTunes. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 202 of the Love Live Connection podcast.

Today I am welcoming a very special guest, Alison Armstrong. Her book, The Queen’s Code, has had a huge impact on my life and relationship. She has taught me to ask, “What if men aren’t misbehaving?”

Learn about Alison’s incredible research and the lessons that have come from it. She has been studying men, women, and their relationships with one another for almost 30 years! 

2:15 - Let’s ask ourselves: What if men aren’t misbehaving? Is it men or is it me? 

6:18 - Welcome Alison!  

10:20 - We often confuse the men in our lives when we state a need but do not follow through with action. 

15:07 - Why do we believe others are intentionally misbehaving? What if no one is actually misbehaving?  

20:15 - The words masculine and feminine are loaded with baggage, men AND women should focus on being committed and goal oriented.  

24:30 - All humans have a tendency to objectify ourselves by applying labels. 

28:34 - Relationships are based on expectations, partnerships have shared power that flows. 

31:10 - The importance of acknowledging men as human beings in everyday life. 

34:00 - Criticism does not inspire men to be better. 

39:02 - If given the chance, an emasculated man will step into powerful space you have created. 

41:00 - Appreciation brings out the type of behavior criticism never could. 

42:15 - Connect with Alison on her website, understandmen.com, and find more information on her YouTube channel. 

• Sign up for The 5-Step Strategy To Banish Anxiety and Overwhelm in Your Love Life here.
• Ready to explore what working with me is like?  Learn more here.
• Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!

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Welcome to episode 201 of the Love Live Connection podcast.

If you are dating, or have ever dated, you are probably familiar with the feeling of rejection. My wonderful client, Hillary, jumps on a call with me to discuss how to deal with rejection, “ghosting”, and texting expectations.

Hillary tells me about a recent date that faded into the ether and how it’s impacting her interaction with a new guy. Together we discover that old patterns can reappear in unexpected ways and I give her some tips on what to do when that happens. 

2:18 - What is the “pullback”? 

5:45 - Be sure to check out my totally free 60-minute workshop, “New Year, New Boo”. 

7:30 - Welcome Hillary! She asks, “How should I deal with rejection?” and, “How do I know if it’s pullback or just busy-ness?” 

12:00 - I explain that rejection hurts, whether it’s an ego sting or dashing our dreams of what could be. 

15:50 - It’s important to sit with those negative feelings but don’t devolve into a pity party. 

18:30 - Hard lesson: Stop getting advice from friends.  

23:30 - We determine that Hillary is seeking validation through daily communication with her dates. 

26:35 - Finding someone who texts as often as you want probably means they have other qualities you do not want. 

29:20 - How doing inner-child work can help reduce our anxiety around fear from rejection. 

37:35 - The coffee pot problem: My favorite analogy for real versus imagined issues. 

39:40 - The symptom versus the cause. What triggers you isn’t always what’s really bothering you. 

• Register for the FREE workshop, “New Year, New Boo”, right here. 
• Ready to explore what working with me is like?  Learn more here.
• Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
• If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 200 of the Love Live Connection podcast.

I am so thrilled for 200 episodes and this wouldn’t be possible without you, so thank you for being a part of this community. Your presence is seen and it is felt, and I am so deeply grateful. 

To celebrate episode 200 I wanted to do something special, but I wasn’t sure what to do, but last year I pulled back the curtain to share what had happened in 2018, and today we’re going to do the same for 2019. Some of it is amazing, and some of it was anything but amazing.

To celebrate 200 episodes, I’m also offering one-hour coaching sessions for $200. I don’t generally offer one-off sessions, but for the next four days these calls are available  In one hour we can look at why you’re feeling stuck in your life love, and I can help you create a plan to move forward. To follow-up, you’ll have 7 days of email coaching as well. 

There will be no next time, so book your session now by clicking here.

3:30 - We kick off by flashing back to 2018, and living in Denver, CO and our move on January 1st to Northern California.

7:00 - As January turned into February the rain continues and followed me to Iceland. 

9:15 - How a conversation with my mom impacted my relationship with my husband.

14:00 - In April we went back East for Passover and I ask about living in Philadelphia.

16:30 - By May I knew I wanted to move back to the East coast and we look at the next chapter of our adventure.

19:20 - On the business front, things were a lot less clear. 

23:00 - June brings baby talk, but I have a limiting belief related to my business.

25:00 - Getting clear on business expenses, and how clients really want to work with me.

31:10 - My relationship with hormonal birth control and trusting what I put in my body.

35:50 - Connecting even more with my body as I evaluate how much I’m really moving and eating.

41:10 - October was beautiful, I hired a new podcast producer and simplified my business and it was beautiful.

45:00 - November comes around, and we get serious about baby and I’m reminded about divine timing.

50:50 - We are wrapping up in December with the winter solstice and my birthday. And we officially close the Love Action Tribe.

• Sign up for The 5-Step Strategy To Banish Anxiety and Overwhelm in Your Love Life here.
• Ready to explore what working with me is like?  Learn more here.
• Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!

If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.