Never would I expected to be doing a podcast about my first love as my intention was just doing a podcast recording, and it happen to be on valentine's day. It is apparent that this particular day has lost its meaning over time as I grow up, becoming less of the dreamy childlike romantic but more of... an ordinary adult.

But that being said I also travelled down the thought rabbit hole or how I loved much more passionately back then, and how Valentine's day is a day and a reminder of the romantic in me, somewhere.. in there.

A podcast episode on what I went through today and some brief updates of my life and anxiety. 

Today I head over to the hospital for my regular therapy session and we moved on to conducting Traumatic Incident Reduction (TIR); a method where most doctors use to deal with PTSD patients. I was asked to remember, and try to reorganize the information and details of my accident, repeatedly. It is bitterly cathartic but definitely needed. 

I left the session feeling down when everything starts crashing to me at home. It was a tiring day... and I really needed a break.

In this episode, I decided to share my experience during my company's goal-setting meeting. I guess it hits me to some extent, as I was made to write and think about my current state, emotions, feelings and also this session is pretty exploratory with the questions directed. And I guess I left this session with more question and answers, but wiser as to the path that I should seek out down the road in 2023.

Like how the title feel, I'm back from a long hiatus, as I got buried with work and personal matters. Perhaps I have been shutting off and haven't been feeling, as fatigue only lull me to bed right after I'm back home. I haven't been playing games even, and my leisure time consists mostly of staring into space. But one thing I know for sure; I want to get back to things. So I took this Chinese New Year holiday as a break to kick start the projects that I'd paused.

A new year doesn't feel like a new canvas, but only a continuation of an old one. We might have a new picture to paint, different colours, or different paintbrushes, but we are still working on the same ol' canvas; Us.

Perhaps it's middle-age crisis speaking, or perhaps I am no longer as young and fearless anymore. No longer as adventurous, my body isn't as great as it use to be, and my spirit is dampened from work; seeking solace over weekends or quiet nights hunching over a book or huddling under my sheets watching Netflix.

I guess... at the end of everything, I do prefer some sort of stability, and mundane. And understanding this mundane is nothing special, nothing magical, afterall.

Reading My Short Story Series: The Problem

Listen to Your Body

A depressing audio log that I guess I shelved in and decided to share.

And every star deserve to shine, so love yourself more. 

i guess there are days that we don't fit in, and maybe that's okay. We all do have that different facades, and perhaps we are not the only one feeling together, but we are family.

Today we decided to get out of our comfort zone and decided to tackle a spicier version of confessions and it really did catch us by surprise. It was extra juicy, spicy with too much flavors that we normally have; but it was nevertheless eye opening and interesting to explore sexuality and such stories in a more open space, to share the different kind of normal, culture, and to be more open to accept perhaps what most stigmas might find weird.

So here we are, opening the doors to maturity and sexuality.

P.S. sorry if we were giggling like awkward kids