In today’s episode, Scary Mommy founder Jill Smokler discusses coming to terms with her husband Jeff’s sexuality, how isolated she felt when she first learned of his same sex attraction, making the difficult decision to get a divorce after 18 years of marriage, and how they focused on honesty and transparency in telling their three children.

She spoke about how painful it was to break the news to the kids that she and her husband would be divorcing. “We tried to focus on how much we loved them and how intact we could be, even when we weren’t living together. It’s so hard when you see your children in any sort of pain, and to feel like you are the cause of it, and that there’s really no way you can comfort them, there are no answers, they are going to be hurt by this…it’s devastating, it’s so hard to see. That said I think this whole experience has really helped them become more sensitive to other people, more empathetic, just understanding of struggles that everybody goes through.”