Dan and Maureen are going out of 2021 by going into the world. Not far into the world—just a little bit. Maureen has gone in for a hairdo. Dan’s son is going back into school. They are embracing the world again! Because nothing can go wrong now!

Trump and co are also saying yes to life by starting a new enterprise—and what an enterprise! They have founded a company that will do everything! All the media! Everywhere! All the time! They are very good at making things happen and running things so this can only go well. Dan really wants to break this down. How many things can a company do?

Because, SaysWhovia, we are riding out the period between sharks. Might as well get a hairdo and go to the bakery. Let’s milk every last drop out of 2021 before something eats our feet.

Grab an innertube and hop in!

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No really, it's fine.

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It’s Thanksgiving week and Maureen and Dan are preparing by not really preparing because neither one of them is really *that* into Thanksgiving. 

Make it what you want! Do your own thing! Fill your shoes with mashed potatoes! Jump up and down on the table! Steal your neighbor’s car and go hunting for cranberries! It’s YOUR day!

It’s also the day of reckoning for some of the great patriots of January 6th. They have gotten into some trouble. Not much, but probably more than we were expecting. Mike Lindell is still talking about something. Trump is wearing a tux. All of this makes Maureen spin out with realizations of what the next few years actually hold, and then the wheels come off the bus again.

Somehow, this all starts with Jeff Bezos’s balls?

Take a seat at the SaysWhovia table. There’s always a spot for you.

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Maureen is reporting in from a beach in Mexico, where the air is soft, the surf is soothing, and the trees are full of iguanas.  She has been writing in the sun. Dan has been on top of the news—and there’s good news! Danny Fenster has been freed from jail in Myanmar, Steve Bannon is heading in, and Alex Jones is about to lose all his money! It’s fantastic stuff. Dan is happy. Maureen is blissful. The iguanas are romantic. The sea laps the shore, and all is well.

But Maureen has questions. What’s in the sea? What’s that in the palm tree? What comes next? Dan tries to save her from herself, but he cannot move fast enough.

Members of the audience, please feel free to get up and move around. It’s the Great Intermission…or, it’s proof that Maureen can ruin anything.

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Dan's six-year-old has gotten vaccinated and Maureen's en route to Mexico! Things are CHANGING SaysWhovia, and it's OK. Things change, that's a lesson Dan's little one just learned from Sesame Street.

But one thing that hasn't changed is that Ted Cruz is an asshole, and on today's episode we'll learn what happens when the king of Chunky Soup takes on a beloved franchise that has looked out for kids for the last half-century.

Make sure your tray tables are locked, SaysWhovia, it's go time.

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Exciting news this week! Maureen got her window fixed! And she went into a Bed, Bath, and Beyond! 

Dan wants to tell her about the news, but she needs him to know all about it. It was so spacious! So full of concrete! 

Dan is persistent. There is a very important gathering happening in Texas—the Q Crew are down in Texas, waiting for the return of JFK Jr. Which is weird. But it gets so much weirder. So much weirder. It turns out we haven’t had 30 presidents, and everyone is coming back from the dead, and there are kings? Or something?

Dan is starting to wish he’d let Maureen tell him more about the concrete floor in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

And then, things get weird.

Grab a cart, SaysWhovia! The floors are smooth.

Content note: In addition to a lengthy discussion about Qanon, there is a discussion of the anti-trans movement in the UK.

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Look, this episode goes off the rails pretty much from the start, but you’re about to hear the tale of Young Dan and his Magic Coat.

Plus, vax for kids, not so much for cops.

And, Facebook.

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Dan wants to talk to Maureen about some things going on in the news, like the fact that Steve Bannon is in hot water. Maybe. Possibly. If everyone gets together and decides to do something about all the crimes and whatnot. Maureen is interested, but there is some stuff she would like to tell Dan as well, like how the number six is magic. Remember January 6th? And all the other things that go with six? So many things. Also, she is in Philadelphia, so she does not have to worry about elevators or people trying to steal her toilet in the night.

Dan would really like to talk about the news. Donald Trump sent a fax! Maureen is not having it. She still has more she needs to tell Dan, like stuff about the internet and the Bad Art Friend. Maureen may be possessed—but the sun, or maybe Satan, or possibly the spirit of a certain shoe.

Anyway, things go about how you might expect, but since you’re already here, you probably like that kind of thing. Everyone likes something.

 

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SaysWhovia, the months are getting jumbled and the holidays are colliding and all anyone really wants to do is get through it. Because let's face it: what is time anymore, really when you think about it?

It's time to ask big questions, SaysWhovia: What day is it again? Have they minted the trillion dollar coin yet? Will Maureen ever get a second elevator? Is Dan's kid ever getting a vaccine? 

We'll figure it out eventually.

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There’s a trillion dollar coin out there. Someone’s got to steal it.

Why not Maureen and Dan?

cue suspenseful drumming

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