Says Who?

Someone didn't get indicted today. BUT MAYBE HE WILL TOMORROW.

Maureen and Dan will be there when he is so...

See you tomorrow!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

This week, Dan and Maureen are back to the classics: a 1920s style bank run, a covidversary, Michael Cohen, Trump on the campaign trail, and a full season of debates coming up. 

This is what Says Who is all about, which is why Maureen makes a plan to get to Disney as soon as possible, and once she explains why, Dan cannot escape the logic—which is Lynyrd Skynyrd-based. That part is new.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, SaysWhovia! This one brings it all home.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

CW: The attack on trans rights is discussed toward the end of this episode, starting at about 46 minutes.

It’s Says Who day, and Maureen is fresh off a plane from Texas. Or a plan to Texas. This isn’t entirely clear. Things didn’t entirely go to plan. That’s all right, because Dan is here to bring Maureen back to earth with news. There’s been a lot of strange things doing on concerning the Dominion lawsuit. Turns out, there was some lying going on!

On the 2024 election front, a new contender has entered the ring! Welcome back, Marianne Williamson! This news causes such joy that Dan and Maureen dissociate, because it turns out neither of them is ready to talk about the fact that the 2024 election creeps closer every day. They do what is only sensible under these circumstances—they go to their happy place. Saturday morning cartoons, with all the cereal they can eat. They put the bowls down long enough to discuss the terrifying events happening around trans rights in Tennessee and elsewhere, but then it’s spoons up again.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Fuck it, we’re going to McDonald’s.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

As February draws to a close, Dan and Maureen keeps falling over. Maureen is getting out of Dodge. Dan is slightly falling to pieces. Maureen has a plan! Dan has less of a plan, but is excited that Maureen has one. So far, so typical. And then there’s the news: Trump dodges problems, DeSantis burns everything in his path—just scumbaggery all around. Again, we’ve been here.

But then we get something very special, SaysWhovia. This week, Joe Biden took a magical trip—and someone is very excited to hear about it. Very excited. Far too excited.

Get out your tickets, SaysWhovia. We’re going for a ride! Toot toot!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s Maureen’s birthday! Almost! Dan has gotten her her favorite gift: news. But what news? News of George Santos and his Technobabble Dreamcoat, news of flying things, marvelous, wonderful things. Maureen wants to speak of more serious matters, but Dan has a flying octagon and he is ready to use it.

Oh, and remember when they were going to kill Mike Pence? It’s time to talk about that. They were going to KILL that guy!

Grab your party hats, SaysWhovia! The bar tab is on George Santos! He invented the cosmo!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s State of the Union time! How did you celebrate, Says Whovia? Did you have a traditional State of the Union dinner? Maureen didn’t watch it! Dan sort of forgot but then remembered! And good news! The State of the Union is strong! Everything’s going well!

Meanwhile, Maureen is on a magical journey of discovery. She’s riding the wind. She’s loose.

Strap in, SaysWhovia. Today’s episode takes to the sky.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Guess who’s got a voice again? It’s your old friend Maureen. She speaks! She lives! Everything’s back to normal! Everything’s fixed! COVID is over! At least, that is what Dan read in the news. COVID is over! Except for all the COVID!

This week’s episode is all about fresh starts—and by fresh, we mean garbage starts. Delicious, wonderful garbage. And a 2023 slogan is finally determined.

Hop in this trash can, SaysWhovia! There’s room for everyone!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SaysWhovia! Maureen's stint as the Ghoul of Pismo Beach, suffering through covid beachside, is over. She is home! Everything is fi... What's that? Oh, she got a rebound case of covid. 

Let's catch up with Maureen between sneezes and also give her a little chicken soup for the soul in the form of allllll the lies of George Santos.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Maureen's got COVID and also a psychotic neighbor and also is isolating at the ocean, so like not EVERYTHING is terrible, right? Right? 

Everything happens so much.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho