Says Who?

Maureen has a new tooth! Dan’s kids are going to school. The last few weeks of the summer and hot and full of fun—because we’re hading into an exciting fall! Nothing weird is happening!

Except for a few boxes in the back of Mar-a-Lago. There’s a little bit going on with those. Just a bit of criming. Actually, quite a lot of criming. So much criming. So many boxes.

Plus, Maureen refines her cult plans. In her cult, no one turns purple. Dan has questions.

Come inside this storage room, SaysWhovia! We have boxes to go through! Everyone grab a box! Blue Apron: it’s not just a meal, it’s felony espionage

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Dan and Maureen are back, after this Sunday’s surprise episode with more! More crime! More details! More documents! More Trump! More legal peril, possible indictments, and institutional chaos!

But first, Maureen has to talk about this Dr. Oz vegetable thing, because it is keeping her up at night. It’s so weird, and so gross. If she can figure out what it means, she’ll understand everything.

Meanwhile, Dan has facts and figures about the raid at Mar-a-Lago—what was taken, when, by whom, and why—and just how long they tried to get it. Spoiler: a weirdly long time. Also, Rudy is in trouble! So much trouble. There’s trouble, right here in Rudy City, and it starts with T and it ends in P and that stands for Trump, or maybe Top Pooper. Something. It all means SOMETHING.

The summer’s not over yet. We have a few more weeks to go before we flame out and slip into a fall of hearings and elections. WHAT WILL HAPPEN?

Strap in, SaysWhovia. Keep your hands and head inside the ride at all times. We’re still going up the hill, and that first drop is going to be WILD.

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SaysWhovians!

Dan has been traveling, but the Federal Bureau of Investigations didn't care and decided that this week—yes just a random week in the middle of August—was the week to suddenly SHOW UP AT MAR-A-LAGO WITH A WARRANT. 

Look, it took a couple days but Maureen and Dan got together on the weekend to finally talk through the absolute madness of this last week. 

Lock up your documents and grab a chair, it may be a Sunday but it's go time.

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It's travel time! Maureen is in the UK, Dan is outdoors by a pond, and covid is everywhere. Just not, currently, inside thier bodies. It must be summer travel in 2022 where if the covid doesn't get you, the monkeypox might. What fun.

Oh, did you hear the president got covid? Twice? Everything's just really great right now y'all. 

Fill up your tank, get your tray tables locked, it's go time.

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SaysWhovia, things are afoot across the pond, and ace sleuth Maureen Johnson is here to tell us all about it. Which is good because Dan's been traveling and has his head in the clouds and heart on the road instead of paying attention to current events. Shame on Dan. Good thing Maureen's on the case!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Content note: A generalized discussion of the Highland Park shooting on the 4th of July. No details of the shooting—mostly details about Highland Park.

Dan and Maureen have fled their respective cities. Dan is checking in from a woodland idyl, while Maureen reports from outside of Philadelphia. Both spent the Fourth of July avoiding fireworks. But because this is America, the Fourth of July was marked by violence. Because Dan knows Highland Park well, this week’s discussion turned to hometowns, living in America, and what comes after.

Also, no one likes fireworks, right?

This one’s about taking good care of yourself and each other, SayWhovia. Come sit on the picnic blanket with us.

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Yeah, SaysWhovia. We talk about Roe vs. Wade. But then we get into the juicy meat of the surprise January 6th hearing. It’s got everything! Battles for control of a steering wheel! Fights in back of cars! Ketchup running down walls! Real sad bastards looking at their phones! They were going to KILL THAT GUY.

Also, Maureen has a weird bug bite and will either live or die while recording.

Let’s just get into it. We’re already on the log flume. Strap in. We’re going to get wet.

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We’ve got the iced tea. We’ve got the television on. And we’ve got the January 6th hearings! Rudy is drunk. Ivanka is hiding behind 200 Zoom filters. Jared is bored. And everyone thinks Trump is an idiot.

Also, Dan’s back is better, but he keeps trying to buy domain names. Maureen went out into the world. And the UK is still being the UK.

But forget all that! GET YOUR ICED TEA!

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You guys, Dan is definitely not okay and needs to go to the doctor. Maureen is fine. Mostly.

But news. That’s what we are here about. And there is some! Finally, the hearings on January 6th are underway and swift, decisive justice is being meted out to all the participants. Lol. Just kidding. The hearings are about to start and Maureen just wants to watch them while drinking iced tea. Nothing will happen, but she is determined to have her Watergate Summer. Meanwhile, Dan reminds her that the mob really, really, really wanted to kill Mike Pence. And so did Trump, apparently! They were going to KILL Mike Pence. Kill him DEAD. THEY WERE GOING TO KILL THAT GUY.

Also, some freedom fighters were promised a big sandwich that never arrived.

Meanwhile, the UK is having a real one—celebrating all things Queeny. Seventy years! It’s a weird number to celebrate, which is why there are holograms and cake. Also, there was a sudden, major political upheaval in Parliament. They almost ousted Boris Johnson! They’re getting it done! They’re drunk and staring at beams of light, but they are getting it done!

But seriously, Dan is flat on his back and needs help. Someone help Dan. Get the stretcher, SaysWhovia. We’re taking him to the hospital.

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Maureen’s back at home after a long two weeks. She’s been taking care of some sick family members. Things could have gone better! Then again, they could have gone worse, so, she’ll take it. She also has some loose chicken in her pocket and a faraway stare. Dan has questions, but then, Dan always has questions.

There is discussion of the events in Texas, but then they get back to their main topic of conversation these days: when and where to build the compound. Dan thinks he knows.

Pack up, SaysWhovia. It’s time to go

Content note:This episode discusses the Uvalde, Texas school shooting. If that is something you would like to avoid, it happens between  28:00 and 50:00.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho