Cut the crap. Your father's home and he is pissed. You're killing your father. Bad boy.

Listening to a lot of good music lately.

Man, whatever

Ate a lot of bread. I don't feel great, but I'll probably shovel some more shit down my throat before I go to bed. I guess compulsive eating is still better than pissing your pants blackout drunk on the A train to Rockaway Beach. Jah feel?

[insert the lyrics to Smooth by Rob Thomas feat. Carlos Santana]

Oh great, someone farted and clearly had a baguette last night. smdh

Nobody knows what’s inside. Can you keep a secret?

It's your asshole, Jerry!

Your honor, this case is a sham and you are a piece of leather beneath a hot stamp.

I took a submarine down under the sea last night. Got to see all the electric eels. There are only three, and they are all named Ernie.

Ernie rhymes with gurney, which is what your body will eventually be strapped to after your passing. Something to think about, really. Guess what, that wasn't written by AI. Woof, daddy.