Secret Son

From rural Chile to urban Sweden, Maria Diemar started life with a huge journey.

Join Maria and I as we discuss kidnapping investigations, maddening bureaucratic red tape and '90s Nordic Neo-Nazis.

Los Secretos are everywhere!

 

My name is Maria Diemar. I’m 47 years old, adopted, a teacher and mother of 3 boys. I was born in Chile then adopted in Sweden where I grew up but I currently live in Dallas/USA. In the last 12 years I have lived in Japan, Australia, and the US. I’m Mapuche, the largest group of indigenous people in Chile. 

I was sent to the airport in Stockholm when I was 10 weeks old where I met my white Swedish foster parents. After living with them for 6 months, they adopted me in the court of Stockholm. Many years later, I learned that my mother never actually gave me up for adoption; I was stolen from her in the delivery room. 

As a young adult, I searched for my Chilean family for 7 years and was reunited 20 years ago. Despite that, I didn’t meet my mom in person until last fall; I wasn’t ready until then. I have 4 siblings in Chile and travel to Chile frequently to be with them. 

I’m part of a Swedish organization called chileadoption.se and we help reunite Chilean families with their children that were taken and adopted abroad. I also have a Instagram and Facebook page where I share my experiences as an adoptee @I_own_my_story_maria_diemar 

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved 

 Dave Brown has his own Tales of the City. 

Join us for episode #11 of Secret Son as we discuss coming out in the 70s, implicit memory and meeting inebriated relatives for the first time. 

Thanks for listening!

I  am a domestic adoptee born in Virginia, raised in San Diego, CA, and have lived in the San Francisco Bay Area most of my adult life. I have a Bachelor's in Business Management and am a retiree from the University of California.

Three and a half years ago, I decided to take a DNA to find answers to shake off the shroud of secrecy. I found what I was looking for, but I was also unprepared for the upheaval in my life.

I created My Refocused Life to document my journey, never anticipated how much I would change. https://www.facebook.com/myrefocusedlife

I wrote this three years ago when I first saw my birth parents' pictures.
A Mirror Man is someone with mirrored-self mis-identification, i.e., unable to recognize themself in a mirror. 

As a teen, I would spend much time looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, not because I was a budding narcissist, but because I didn't recognize myself. 
I realize it is because I didn't see my parents in me. 

It was the same for my adoptive brother; we both felt like we had Martian DNA, although he fits in more than I did. I was the dorky kid who was merely tolerated.
I didn't have kids, so I didn't experience the sensations and wonders of adoptee friends who had kids. I hadn't thought about it until I heard other adoptees talk about how huge that was to see themselves reflected in their children.

Seeing the pictures of my birth parents for the first time made an emotional and physiological impact. Seeing myself reflected in them and vice versa hit me like a tsunami. 

I looked just like my father and had a resemblance to my mother. They were both beautiful. 

I noticed the facial features, the mouth, the shape, and the color of the eyes. But what got me is that my birth father and I stand the same way, his head tilted to the right as mine. I had always hated that aspect of myself. Now I think it's cool.
 

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved 

Hey! Yeah, you! Why not join us for episode #10? 

Pamela Karanova is a force to be reckoned with in the adoptee community and has a new Substack you should definitely check out! 

Pamela and I discuss angelic librarians, going on the wagon and wild dogs deep in the Iowa countryside. 

And, of course, secrecy!

Pamela A. Karanova is an adult adoptee from Iowa residing in Lexington, KY.

She's the founder of Adoptees Connect, Inc, Adoptee Remembrance Day - October 30th, and Adoptee Merch.

Pamela is a freelance writer at The Real Adoptea Moxie, addressing the challenging issues in adoption.

She's navigated her search and reunion, experiencing double rejection from both biological parents, and considers adoptee healing to be a lifelong journey. She spends much of her time creating adoptee-centric resources.

She's an avid hiker, mountain climber, and waterfall chaser all over the great state of Kentucky.

 She has three adult children, two dogs, and one cat, and she loves the simple things in life, hot tea, bonfires, sunrises, sunsets, and solitude.

Adoptees Connect, Inc. www.adopteesconnect.com

Pamela A. Karanova Website www.pamelakaranova.com

The Real Adoptea Moxie https://therealadopteamoxie.substack.com/

Adoptee Remembrance Day - October 30th www.adopteeremembranceday.com

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved 

Join me for episode 9 with Shawn Sigler. 

We cover the usual stuff - KKK relatives, Cold War Berlin and seeing ourselves in photos of our deceased fathers.  

Shawn has had an incredible journey of persistence, bravery and self-discovery. Somehow he seems to have emerged from it without bitterness. A very inspiring story and episode!

"I was born in 1963 in Indiana. I was adopted by a white couple from a small town. The public identified me as black, so I spent much time struggling with that identity.

 My adoptive mom had always insisted that I never search for my biological mother until she was dead. She had refused to share what she knew about my birth mom for fifty years.

She must have known that she was near the end of her life because she finally showed me my complete adoption paperwork. I met my birth mother and her wife a few months later. Eventually, my birth mother shared the identity of my birth father.

I wrote a book about my experiences entitled Born Without A Race." 

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved 

Oi mate, how you going? 

Join us for episode 8 as I chat with West Coast gal Vicky Graham in her new home in Oz.  

We investigate the Usual Suspects - romcom-ish reunions, local marsupials and surviving the Land of Misfit Toys. 

 “Mom and Dad adopted me when I was eight months old.  

Before then, I lived in the Crippled Children’s Home with the other unwanted babies, our own Island of Misfit Toys. But I was lucky, I got out. 

I would’ve never searched for her -  the woman who threw me away. In reunion, it took decades to untangle how I really felt.” - Vicky Graham, Adoptee   

Barbara Bazett and Vicky Graham, a mother and daughter in reunion for nearly 30 years, share their healing journey to inspire and help others on their own podcast, Strong(er) in the Broken Places. 

“What’s our secret? We were both too stubborn to give up.” - Barbara Bazett, Birth Mother. 

https://www.freeyourselfthrough.com 

On Facebook and Instagram: @freeyourselfthrough 

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved 

Sweet home Chicago! 

The Windy City plays a big part in Cammie Smith’s story. 

Join us for episode 7 as we get into how best to sneak into nursing homes, problematic Radio Shack ad campaigns and walking that fine line of being either too black or not black enough.

And, as always - secrets!

"I'm a 33 years old TRA (transracial adoptee) and I was adopted at the age of five when my birth mother passed away from breast cancer in July of 95, 

I wanted to tell my story and will continue to tell my story for anyone struggling with being a TRA adoptee so they can understand their feelings and experiences are valid and that they are not alone and for anyone thinking to adopt that it takes a lot more than love to raise a child an adoptee."
 

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved 

Hey y'all - between us, some days I just wanna be sedated. 

This is not one of those days. 

In episode 6 of Secret Son, I head to the Deep South, set on the porch for a spell and have a leisurely tête-à-tête with Alicia Bratton. 

And, honey, let me tell you, we cover some stuff – progressive Alabama politics (no joke), bayou existentialism  and the freedom that fifty brings. 

And, it goes without saying - secrets! 

Hey, ho, let’s go!

Alicia Bratton is a 1972 Baby Scoop Era adoptee in a closed adoption. Reunited with/re-abandoned by her mother and in reunion with her father. She went to college in Alabama on a performing arts scholarship for Trombone Performance and Vocal Performance, yet became a nurse (her mother of origin is also a nurse). 

Classically trained in piano and voice, she lives in rural Alabama and, in her words,  "I'm just trying to find my voice in the adoptee world." She's been a registered nurse since 1995, working primarily in labor/delivery and psychiatric nursing. 
 

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved 

Join Secret Son this week as we journey back to a time when it was morning in America.

Reagan was president, the Eurythmics were tearing up the charts and the nation was falling in love with a precocious teenager named Michael J. Fox.

Meanwhile, today’s guest and I were sitting next to each other in high school mulling over our own Family Ties.

Liam Nitka and I were in the same high school class and had no idea the other was harboring their own shameful, dark secret – they were adopted. Good Lord, the humanity.

Today, Liam I will discuss the demon rum, latter day saints, problems with authority and the thread weaving through it all – secrecy.

Have a listen and, if you like the show, please tell a friend about it!

Music, as always, by the inimitable Cassis Birgit Staudt.

 

Liam was born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri.  

From an early age, he knew he was adopted.  Liam's adoption was a big family and neighborhood secret.  From the moment he found out he was adopted, he was determined to find his biological parents and learn why he was adopted. 

Since the State of Missouri, is a "closed-record" state, he was not able to legally search for his biological family until he turned 21.  For years, he struggled to make sense of it all.  He felt that finding his biological parents would be the be-all, end-all in learning the circumstances behind his adoption.  

Liam found his biological parents at age twenty-one, and it was a good occurrence.  He was finally able to piece together certain facts that were blurry to him growing up. 
 
Liam now lives in Boynton Beach, Florida and had been married to his wife, Susan, for seventeen years.  They don't have any kids, but have a dog and a cat. Liam works a stable job with the Department of Veterans Affairs. 
 

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved 

Folks, they threw her to the wolves and she’s come back to lead the pack. 

Superstar podcaster and adoptee activist Haley Radke joins me this week to regale us with tales of being a secret, stalking and the Great White North. 

So, while you’re (soberly, of course) shooting off those fireworks on New Years Eve, why not multitask? 

Put on your headphones, crank up the volume on episode three and ring in the new year with another top secret tale! 

Music, as always, by the inimitable Cassis Birgit Staudt. 

 _

Haley Radke is an adoptee advocate and the creator and host of the popular podcast, Adoptees On, where adoptees share their adoption experiences. She believes that sharing these intimately personal stories will help expand the societal perception of adoption.

Haley has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology and is passionate about de-stigmatizing mental health issues and normalizing therapy.

She is a sought-after podcast coach and has been featured on Dear Adoption, How To Be Adopted, and Severance Magazine. Adoptees On has been downloaded over one million times in 150+ countries worldwide.  

 https://www.adopteeson.com

 Instagram: https://instagram.com/adopteeson

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/adopteeson

Podcasting: https://www.haleyradke.com
 

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved 

I met therapist/adoptee advocate Joe Soll in the mid-90s in New York City. 

We'll discuss decades-long family searches, "spaciness" and getting fed up with living in secrecy. 

As we all slowly beat back the darkness and embrace much-needed longer days (I'm looking at you especially, Berlin), this is the perfect episode to shine some light on the adoptee perspective. 

Druids and pagans and normies - together, onward into the light! 

Music, as always, by the inimitable Cassis Birgit Staudt.  

 

Joe Soll is a NY State Licensed Psychotherapist: 845-268-0283

 Approved Adoption Counselor: United Kingdom Dept. of Health
 Member: International Association of Trauma Professionals
 Certified Clinical Trauma Professional
 Diplomate:  American Psychotherapy Association (retired)
Fellow:   American Orthopsychiatric Association (retired)

Joe Soll 조 살,  the author of "Adoption Healing... a path to recovery" (4 versions plus one in German and one in Chinese and one in Korean), Perilous Passage, co-author of "Evil Exchange" and "Fatal Flight", is a  reunited adoptee, psychotherapist and lecturer internationally recognized as an expert in adoption related issues. He is director and co-founder of Adoption Crossroads, an international, non-profit organization consisting of over 470 adoption agencies, mental health institutions and adoption search and support groups in 8 countries, representing over 500,000 individuals whose lives have been affected by adoption. Adoption Crossroads is dedicated to educating the public about adoption issues and reforming current adoption practices.

The director and founder of the Adoption Counseling Center in New York City, Mr. Soll is also co-organizer and co-chair of the NY State Adoption Agency Task Force; a member of Matilda Cuomo's 1993 Advisory Council on the "Adoption Option"; past exec. board member of the Amer. Adoption Congress and a former trustee of the International Soundex Reunion Registry

He played himself in the HBO Special "Reno Finds Her Mom", was featured in the 2000 Global Japan award winning documentary,  "Adoption Therapist: Joe Soll" and in the MediaStorm 2011 documentary "Broken Lines" as well as profiled in the International Museum of Women.

His latest book is his autobiography,  Braverman
 
 

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. 

 

To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: 

https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

 

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son

Mike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com

Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 

All rights reserved