Seed Capital: the world we leave behind is built from what we steward now

It takes a deep initiation of need for care to get you to shed the layers of hyper individualism and show up as the village. In today’s episode, I get fired up about why the ones who are showing up and arriving on the doorstep with the soup are often the caregivers with a limited capacity themselves. I talk about my own journey with asking for and receiving support, experiencing the power of circle and council and navigating anger and cynicism along the way.

Tune in to hear more from me on:

– Caregivers with less capacity being the ones who show up

• How it takes a deep initiation of need, usually having a child or experiencing a major loss or illness, to get you to this place
• Releasing the fog of hyper individualism
• How we need to replenish as keepers of the well
• Resisting the urge to become cynical
• Weaving yourself into the mission

Resources + Links

• Find out more about BEHELD, an intimate council of space holders
• My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
• Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli

Timestamps

[0:00] Introduction

[5:41] Initiation into Caregiving and Kinkeeping

[7:35] The Myth of Hyper Individualism

[8:36] Those Who Show Up for the Village are the Ones with the Least Capacity

[9:56] The Bottomless Pit of Need

[12:12] Creating Community and Circle

[16:48] Replenishing Yourself as Keeper of the Well

[18:26] Navigating Cynicism and Anger when Feeling Unsupported

[20:52] Weaving Yourself into the Mission

[21:20] Beheld Council Invitation

[23:05] Next Episode Preview

In today’s episode, I am joined by my dear friend Ginny Muir to talk about the longing for deep intimacy, the importance of healing in relationships, navigating rupture and repair in community and circle specifically. Ginny is an incredible spaceholder, medicine woman, witch, tantrika and so much more. Specifically, she has an incredible way of supporting relational conflict.

Rupture and repair is an innate way of being in community, and yet to so many of us this is absolutely terrifying. In this conversation, Ginny shows her amazing skills at supporting others through navigating conflict and we give real-life examples as to how we navigated conflict in circle before - and the tools that helped us work though it.

Tune in to hear more from us on:

• How deep intimacy requires healing in relationships and a willingness to navigate conflict
• How rupture and repair are essential for fostering deeper intimacy and growth
• How conflict in friendship should be approached with the same openness and willingness to repair as conflict in romantic relationship
• Examples of circle technologies, how they can help navigate moments of rupture and create a safe space for healing

Resources + Links

• Find Ginny Muir on Instagram @ginnymuir
• Find out more about BEHELD, an intimate council of space holders
• My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
• Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli

Timestamps

[00:00]  Introducing Ginny Muir

[07:25] Longing for Deep Intimacy

[09:45] Healing in Relationships

[11:33] Wounds and Attachment

[14:29] The Process of Rupture and Repair

[15:55] Conflict in Friendship vs Romantic Relationships

[19:55] Embracing Polarity and Diversity in All Relationships

[24:37] Triggers as an Opportunity for Self Love

[25:51] Turning Conflict into Deeper Intimacy

[27:07] Navigating conflict through the Lens of the Nervous System

[28:11] Rupture and Repair in a Retreat

[38:29] Finding Safety in Circle

[41:35] Consciously created circles and communities

[43:05] The experience of Holding Space and Trusting the Unfolding of Ceremony

[46:40] Using Circle Technologies

[52:49] Learning from Experienced Teachers

[54:32] Receiving Support through Microdosing 🍄

[56:17] Journey to Scotland & Reconnecting with the Earth Ways on the Ancestral Land

A year ago, I almost completely gave up on my work. Emerging from the early years of motherhood and feeling my creative spark again, I felt motivated to get back into the deeper aspects of my sacred work.

So, in a flash of creative impulse, I announced a new program to the world in the place we announce things these days: on Instagram. It was received mostly with a good deal of excitement and interest, and…it was also received with some intense criticism - primarily in the form of snarky comments and DMs from complete strangers who were making a lot of assumptions about me. Assumptions without curiosity. Assumptions wrapped in judgment. Over a period of 72 hours, I received wave after wave of comments that felt challenging to hold on my own.

In this episode, I tell the story of grief, shame and how being in sacred council helped me heal and grow through this experience.

Tune in to hear more from me on:

• The grief of feeling misunderstood and shamed in a parasocial format, which left me raw and confused.
• The divine timing of an in-person retreat with an intimate council of women space holders, and the cacao ceremony that held me at my most vulnerable.
• Emerging lighter and less bothered and leaving that retreat weekend with a renewed vision in the purpose and power of this work I do.
• Everything I learned from that rupture and the gratitude I feel now for what happened.
• The one thing that had me not throw in the towel and heal from this experience: being held in a sacred council.
• My own council BEHELD which is now open for enrollment again.

Resources + Links

• Find out more about BEHELD, an intimate council of space holders
• My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
• Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli

Timestamps

[0:00] Introduction [2:45] Sharing the story of almost giving up my sacred work after receiving criticism [9:23] The divine timing of an in-person retreat weekend [9:50] Unfurling during the cacao ceremony [12:06] The power of sacred councils [15:31] Continuing despite challenges and feeling tender [16:02] The offering it all started with and hosting it again [17:16] Join BEHELD - a sacred council for space holders

In today’s episode, I am joined by Becca Rich - a trauma-sensitive, certified holistic coach with a background in engineering and mindfulness, who teaches Holistic Time Management. In today’s episode, she shares with us her wisdom on the meaning of time, the role of control, how we can honor the cyclical nature of our bodies within our digital calendars and so much more. She also coaches me on the part that grief plays in experiencing loss of time and freedom, especially with having a child.

Tune in to hear more from us on:

• The perspective on time that it is everything and that it is short but it is long
• Time anxiety and feelings of grief at the loss of time freedom with having children
• Finding satisfaction at the end of the day and embracing a digital calendar liberation practice
• How to deal with overcommitment and overwhelm
• The importance of respecting our natural cycles and working with our bodies, minds, and spirits instead of forcing them into a rigid structure

Resources + Links

• Becca Rich’s podcast Not Too Productive + website TheHolisticTimeCoach.com + Instagram @theholistictimecoach
• Becca’s Course: Digital Calendars for Humans
• Blogpost: A practical guide to applying your human design type to your schedule
• Blogpost: Top 10 ADHD Time Management Tools
• Stephanie Burg’s episode on the Belonging Podcast #21 ‘Opting out of Linear Time’ and the book It’s About Time by Leslie Keenan
• Nick North’s Instagram @wethenorths
• My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
• Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli

Timestamps

[00:00] Introducing Becca Rich and her work

[07:40] Understanding & shifting our relationship with the concept of time

[11:54] Navigating time in different life seasons

[19:08] Finding satisfaction at the end of the day

[20:50] Chasing productivity and overcoming disappointment

[28:48] Embracing a digital calendar liberation practice

[35:44] Creating a weekly template

[37:45] Calibrating the calendar with menstrual cycle

[42:45] Dealing with overcommitment and overwhelm

[44:55] Respecting the cycle

[45:53] Different Levels of time privilege

[46:23] Divesting from productivity hustle culture

[47:10] Healing ancestral stories for the future

[49:37] Life is short, but life is also long

[50:00] The spiritual component of time

[50:19] The simplicity of taking a breath

A lot has occurred for me in 2023 - as I think is true for every year, but perhaps this time around it is a little more visible and this is probably why I received the beautiful question of the lessons I’ve learned this past year. So, I am using the reflective energy of the outer and inner season of Winter I’m currently finding myself in and sharing with you, in this episode, the three lessons I have learned over the course of 2023.

Tune in to hear more from me on the three lessons I’ve learned this past year:

1. I can do anything, but I can’t do everything. As a multi-passionate manifesting generator with ADHD, I get lit up and motivated by so many new ideas. But how do you navigate that with limited capacity, in a society that glorifies production? A few of my coping strategies are compartmentalizing, sleeping on new ideas, and exploring how I can feel accomplished and satiated by what I do day in day out whilst also taking care of myself.
2. The vision takes time. More time than you think! It’s not for nothing I teach about how slowness can be the antidote to our suffering. I have so much compassion for the me who gets uncomfortable in the liminal, especially around our renovation. I ask myself: ‘Can I make this messy middle feel easeful in some way?’, which is where ritual comes in.
3. Get slow and quiet so I can get clear on my highest priorities. Last year I had the deep realisation that my biggest priority wasn’t my business, or the farm or the renovation. It was my first home: my body, and my health. Even though it was really hard, I learned how to choose to make it my focus to take care of my body on a weekly and daily basis.

Resources + Links

• My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
• Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli

Timestamps

[00:00] Introducing the question of what lessons I’ve learned over the past year

[5:00] How a deer carcass is showing me the real deal of somatic embodiment of the wild experience and the winter medicine in that

[07:30] The analogy of the ascending spiral and revisiting inner work when I’m well resourced

[08:30] Lesson 1: I can do anything, but I can't do everything

[11:00] I have a much more limited capacity since I had my child and the pandemic

[18:58] Lesson 2: The big vision takes time

[24:00] How nature is teaching me to be patient with our renovation

[25:41] Lesson 3:  Get slow and quiet so I can get clear on my highest priorities

[30:15] The impact of celebrating my health wins

In today’s episode, our guest, Hillarie Maddox, interviews me (Becca) to get some personal updates on the journey of rewilding and all that unfolds when we take the steps that brought us from the dream to buying and living on our land. I open up to vulnerably reveal some of the grief, the questioning and the spiral of regret that happened when we initially landed on the farm and how we had to really speak the dream alive again each night so that we could move through that resistance. Both Hillarie and I share the trials and triumphs that our rewilding journeys have brought us thus far and the importance of holding a steadfast dedication to the tending of community along the way.

Tune in to hear more from me on:

The deep truths and feelings that surfaced as a result of our move to the farm

• What rewilding can really feel like
• Loneliness and grief along the journey
• Cultivating community in a rural area
• Challenges and obstacles that we’ve overcome
• Learnings and advice to take if you’re moving through a similar transition

RESOURCES + LINKS:

Hillarie other Belonging episode: Slow Homesteading & Land Stewardship

Hillarie’s podcast: Black Girl Country Living

Follow Hillarie on instagram: @blackgirl.countryliving

Follow Becca on Instagram @beccapiastrelli

Becca’s book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self

https://www.amazon.com/Root-Ritual-Timeless-Connect-Community/dp/1683647726

TIMESTAMPS

[0:00] Becca introduces today’s guest (Hillarie Maddox) who will be interviewing Becca for today’s special episode.
[1:40] Hillarie shares her excitements for having this rewilding, homesteading and community building conversation.
[2:55] Hillarie shares her own rewilding story (departing the city with her family to answer the call for rural homesteading) 
[5:40] Becca touches on living in the dream state (the fresh eggs, the farm, the connection to the land) and how that blends with the reality of the pace of modern times and how we attempt recalibration. 
[7:15] Becca shares the details of transition from past life (California) to Hudson Valley, NY. 
[15:10] “What was it really like landing in your dream?” Becca gets real about the experience of arriving on the farm after making the move from California. 
[24:13] The shifts in community and connection and what Becca has noticed about relationships in her more rural area. 
[29:13] What felt hard for Hillarie during her phased move from the city to her homestead.
[32:10] Mindset shifts and learnings from the physical labor, handwork and the embodiment that comes with homesteading.
[41:50] How Becca is finding her people at the right time.
[48:20] Trusting ourselves and learning skills that solve problems and sustain the land and our home.
[52:28] Slowing down to really listen and deepen connections in the community
[54:10] Observance, presence and how this is foundational in rewilding
[55:20] Closing and conclusion with an invitation for continued connection

In today’s episode, I give you updates from my new life on the farm (here in Hudson Valley, New York) and share both the challenges and joys of renovating an old house.

I share the resources and learnings I have gathered in creating and tending community from the perspective of someone who has just moved to a new place.

Tune in to hear more from me on:

- Living on a farm and renovating an old farmhouse
- Why community is an important value and a vital need
- How transitions in life, such as becoming a parent, can lead to a deeper understanding of the leaderships that calls to us
- How creating community in a new place requires consistent effort and prioritizing low-pressure, low-stakes interactions
- How challenges and moments of rejection can be overcome by resourcing oneself and seeking support

Resources + Links

-Sarah Wildeman @ Our Common
-My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
-Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli

Timestamps

[0:00] Welcome back to the podcast 
[4:22] Life updates and the joys & challenges of farm life and living in our caretaker cottage during renovations
[9:03] How I am starting over in community creation (and why it's a big priority for me) 
[12:17] The deep desire for leadership and community tending that emerges in becoming a parent and in becoming a mother 
[13:17] Yearnings for council, sacred connection and co-regulation, a pull to circle (yes, even amidst the busyness)
[14:24] Cultivating connection and community in the age of loneliness (in a culture that tells us it's not possible)
[16:27] How to create and go forth in creating community in a new place 
[19:22] Overcoming the resistance and the challenges in community creation and trusting that we are resourced and supported 
[20:21] Where to continue this connection together 

Sweet podcast listeners, I’ve been missing you. I’m not quite ready to be back on the mic yet but wanted to drop in here with a little update from my life (moving across the country is a whole thing) and an opportunity to work with me this autumn if you’ve been curious about holding a circle in your community. 

The link to join us is beccapiastrelli.com/circle-craft

Summer feels like a ripe tomato — the peak fullness of the season where so much is revealed as the light of the sun shines down on us all.

In this episode, I complete my series of ancestral rituals for each season, with reflections on summer.

I share why summer is a season of work and rest, how this time teaches us the lessons of the Mother, ways to honor our inner wild creatures, and the power of garden time.

I also offer ideas for summer rituals, including my favorite herbal tinctures, fire practices, and embodiment practices for the season.

Resources

• Join me for Threshold sessions
• Explore the other seasonal ritual episodes— 
  • Belonging Episode #92: Winter Rituals & Practices
  • Belonging Episode #92: Slow Emergence from Winter into Ancestral Rituals for Spring
  • Belonging Episode #106: Autumn is the Season for Ancestors
• Learn more about rites of passage & transitional times—Episode #90: Rites of Passage for All of Us
• North Sea Medicine Collective

If you’re curious about what village life is like beyond the picture-perfect cottage-core images on Instagram, today’s conversation is for you.

In this episode, Sarah Wildeman and I delve into a topic near and dear to my heart — revillaging and community-centered living.

Sarah is a leadership & relationship dynamics coach, community-builder, and founder of Our Common — a coaching and consulting practice serving community seekers, community builders, and existing communities.

Together, we discuss her experiences with intentional communal living and the many forms in which community can take shape. She also shares her whole-systems approach to relationships—in her family, communities, and workplace— and we have a vulnerable conversation about how to address conflict.

More from Sarah

• Follow Sarah on Instagram
• Follow Our Common on Instagram
• Learn More + Explore Coaching with Our Common