Sexually Speaking with Shannon

How do we encourage our teens to have healthy relationships, especially with regards to sexuality?! Julia is here to help! 

Julia Feldman, M.Ed. Is a human development education consultant with over 15 years of experience in formal education as a classroom teacher, administrator, content area specialist, and professional development and curriculum expert. She believes in an inclusive, medically accurate, sex-positive, empowering, and compassionate approach to teaching that prioritizes the experiences, interests, and needs of her students.

In this podcast episode:

02:30 - The driver’s license analogy

06:30 - Answering kids’ questions about bodies and relationships

09:30 - How do you educate and guide your teens about bodily autonomy and having healthy relationships?

13:30 - Family values guiding sex ed conversations 

15:30 - The most common realizations that people have

19:00 - Healthy  breakups with teenagers

24:30 - Parenting is your life on the big screen for your children

You can find Julia Feldman on:

Instagram: @GivingTheTalk

Website: https://www.givingthetalk.com/

Books:

The Penis Book - https://amzn.to/3N29uXT

The Vagina Book - https://amzn.to/3M8NGsl

What’s Going On Down There - https://amzn.to/3aeEntu

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I am so excited about my guest, Author, and award-winning gynecologist, Dr. Susan Hardwick-Smith! In this episode, she shares her insight and wisdom on how you can feel empowered to live your best life through the transition of menopause. 

Dr. Susan Hardwick-Smith is a Board-Certified Gynecologist specializing in women's midlife wellness, hormone optimization, and sexual wellness. She is the founder of Complete Midlife Wellness Center in Houston, TX, and the best-selling author of "Sexually Woke- Awaken the Secrets to Your Best Sex Life in Midlife and Beyond." She also hosts a popular podcast and YouTube show called "Empowering Midlife Wellness."

Dr. Susan is the recipient of the Texas Super Doctor award over a dozen times and a multiple-time recipient of H-Texas magazine's Top Doctor and Top Doctor for Women awards. She also has been chosen as one of Houston's "3 best rated" gynecologists for several consecutive years. Dr. Susan is also an ICF-certified life and leadership coach, multiple-time marathoner and Ironman triathlete, and mother of 3 teenage daughters. 

In this podcast episode:
01:00 - About Dr. Susan and focusing on menopause and perimenopause
04:00 - Dr. Susan’s journey 
10:00 - 7% of women are “sexually woke” and the common trends among them
12:00 - Be open to all possibilities and know yourself first; view your second half of life as a magical opportunity
15:00 - Attention and intention
19:00 - What is co-dependence?
25:00 - Choosing to be out of relationships and choosing a time for self-investigation
28:00 - What does perimenopause look like?
34:00 - Educating yourself about perimenopause and hormone therapy
40:00 - The best sex tip from Dr. Susan
42:00 - Sex is an active generosity

IG: @drsusanofficial 

Visit the Complete Midlife Wellness Center here:
https://completemidlifewellnesscenter.com/

Purchase the Sexually Woke book here:
https://amzn.to/3GiY3sl

Subscribe to Dr. Susan’s YouTube Channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSsAoV6KrfZZ71Kkwb_GWVA

Listen to her podcast here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/empowering-midlife-wellness-with-dr-susan/id1519320996

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Please welcome back, Leighanna Nordstrom! Leighanna is a relationship and sex therapist from Northern Colorado. She embodies all things sex positive and loves to break down and restructure problematic patterns instilled in us by our culture. As a therapist, she is passionate about working with the queer community, individuals with sexual trauma, and couples/relationships struggling with sexual dysfunction.

Outside of therapy, Leighanna is a a super nerd who loves fantasy, video games, and board games!

This episode is timely after last weeks conversation with Stephen Bravemanc about men survivors of sexual abuse. Leighanna talks about co-regulation and how to reclaim bodily autonomy.

In this podcast episode:

01:40 - Who is Leighanna Nordstrom?

05:00 - What is bodily autonomy?

08:00 - Co-regulation and survivors of sexual trauma

10:30 - Ways to reclaim your bodily autonomy and sexuality

13:30 - Externalization and internal family systems

18:00 - What triggers live in different senses

21:00 - The 3 minute game

25:00 - How do you reclaim bodily autonomy without a partner?

27:30 - What do you know about your body?

29:30 - Intervention and Trauma Trees

35:00 - Play as a co-regulation technique

38:30 - Comparative suffering

You can reach Leighanna Nordstrom through: 

https://www.pivotalcounseling.com/leighanna

Or via email at [email protected]

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Please welcome, Stephen Braveman to this episode to talk about the difficult topic of male survivors of sexual abuse. 
Stephen is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and  AASECT Certified Diplomate and Supervisor of Sex Therapy with a Private Practice in California, USA. 
He started and maintains one of the first psychotherapy groups for Adult Males Molested As Children in the US. 
He is also the creator of the first full-length documentary on this subject, "Boyhood Shadows: I Swore I’d Never Tell.

In this podcast episode:

08:00 - Sexual problems appeared around 2 years after getting married

09:30 - How did Stephen start his men’s group?

11:00 - Lessons of play from geese - honk, honk, honk

16:00 - Men and sexual abuse

21:00 - The difference between a pedophile and child molesters

25:00 - Pedophiles and shame

32:00 - Myths on men and sexual abuse

41:00 - Books and steps for couples to help in healing from sexual abuse

43:00 - Healing through tantric practices

47:00 - Sexual abuse survivors are sometimes misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder

52:00 - How to take action against male sexual abuse

You can find Stephen Braveman on:

https://www.isgcmonterey.net/

Books mentioned:

Allies in Healing by Laura Davis - https://amzn.to/3wp6TjH

Healing Sex by Staci Haines - https://amzn.to/38mVOI3

The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz - https://amzn.to/3NfzQVW

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Are you or a loved one suffering from erectile dysfunction? In this episode we have Brooke Hazen, author of You Are Not Broken who shares his wisdom on the causes of erectile dysfunction and how to heal the devastating effects without relying on medication. 

Brooke Hazen is an organic farmer, life-long athlete, physical coach, and a health and fitness enthusiast. A Southern California native, Brooke grew up loving the ocean and the natural world. His affinity for the land, healthy living, and natural foods led him to study Agriculture at Humboldt State. In 2001, Brooke realized his vision to grow nutritious, organic, farm-to-table foods under his own brand when he purchased 88 acres of pastureland in the beautiful Northern California farming region of Sebastopol. He now cultivates apples, citrus, medicinal herbs, and high polyphenol olives. Walking the rows each day, he meticulously hand-tends his orchards and presses award-winning Extra Virgin Olive Oil on his West Sonoma County farm and olive mill, Gold Ridge Organic Farms.

Now an author, You Are Not Broken: A Holistic Guide for Men and Women to Heal the Pathways of Sexual Dysfunction and Restore Relational Harmony Together is his first book.

In this episode:

03:00 - Brooke’s story on coping and fixing his erectile dysfunction

06:30 - Stillness and letting go of addictions, and how they helped Brooke with his erectile dysfunction

08:00 - Getting led to a website through the will of God

10:15 - Porn-induced erectile dysfunction

16:30 - The book - Dopamine Nation

19:00 - How do you support your partner if they have a porn addiction?

21:30 - Easy solutions for porn addiction

23:30 - Mating behavior and bonding behavior

26:30 - Using bonding behaviors to satisfy urges because of addiction

32:30 - Having a plant-based diet to heal addictions

37:30 - Cardiovascular disease and erectile dysfunction

39:30 - Western medicine is misdiagnosing erectile dysfunction

41:00 - Brooke Hazen’s book - You Are Not Broken

You can find Brooke on:

https://brookehazen.com/

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Not sure what to say to your kids about s3x?! You aren’t alone! Today we have Tory Mills here to talk about the importance of sex ed in schools and what parents can do at home to support a future healthy relationship for their children. 

Tory Mills is currently the Director of Community Engagement for Planned Parenthood of Tennessee & North Mississippi here in Knoxville. In her 10 years with Planned Parenthood, she has provided comprehensive sexuality education to hundreds of young people, parents, and professionals in East Tennessee, and for the last few years, she has focused her energy on organizing communities for reproductive freedom and training new organizers. She is a proud, life-long Tennessean who is dedicated to building equitable communities in our state that value sexual health & education. 

Tory is about to embark on a new career journey at the end of April which is yet to be determined, but for now will involve spending quality time in the mountains, making all those recipes which have been open for at least 6 months in her internet browser, finishing 23 half-completed home projects, a trip to Dollywood, and continuing social justice work in a volunteer capacity. She spends most of her time these days in newlywed bliss with her husband, Derek, and two cute mutts, Daisy & Ella.

In this podcast episode:

03:30 - Who is Tory Mills and how did she get into sex ed?

11:00 - Talking about values in sex ed

14:00 - Should schools teach sex ed?

18:00 - The usual age young people have sex

24:00 - How do parents handle sex ed with their children?

28:00 - Websites and books for sex ed

Resources:

https://amaze.org/

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/

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Buckle up, friends! We are expanding your idea of what a relationship can look look like with Erin Kaley, Relationship Design Coach. Erin talks to us about monogamish relationships, play parties, and how to communicate with your partner when all the crunchy stuff comes up. 

In this podcast episode:

04:30 - 50% of married couples in the US stay together

08:00 - Talking about non-monogamy with your partner

10:00 - How did Erin end up in a monogamish relationship?

13:30 - What did it look like for Erin growing up? 

18:00 - Facilitating the monogamish conversation with couples

21:00 - Let people be who they are

23:00 - Erin’s first play party

30:00 - What does monogamish and polyamory mean?

34:00 - What does life in a monogamish relationship look like?

43:00 - Jealousy in relationships

45:00 - Communicating more effectively with your partner

51:00 - It is not too late to explore at any point in your life

54:00 - How do you start with exploring other forms of relationships?

You can find Erin on:

https://erinkaley.com/

https://www.instagram.com/turnon.witherin/

Erin's 3some Playbook:
https://erinkaley.com/threesome-playbook/

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Today we talk about food for healing and for sex.

Femeika Elliott is the owner of Meik Meals located in Knoxville, Tennessee. She is a food enthusiast and postpartum chef specializing in plant-based cuisine. Femeika’s primary focuses: are community, food education, holistic wellness, and women’s health. 

01:55 - Meik’s story on how she came up with her business that supports women

04:40 - The health journey of Meik, the things that she struggles with, and finding the resources and confidence to try the things to see what work

09:40 - Difference between vegan and plant-based

13:00 - The benefits of nitric oxide

16:30 - How had food played a part in Meik’s sexual journey

21:30 - How can you reconnect with your feminine energy?

27:30 - How you can get health foods that is affordable

34:30 - Home and community gardens

Resources:

https://meik-meals.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meikmeals/

The Lotus Program - postpartum meals

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It has been a year since Shannon and Steve said, “this ain’t working…we can do better.” Maybe not word for word, but after years of feeling like roommates, it was time. 

Steve has been working leaps and bounds since this time last year, casting limiting beliefs to the side and picking up “superpowers” along the way. 

He talks to Shannon about all the trials and realizations along his healing journey and how he has learned to "do the work" through resources such ask meditation, breathwork, and support groups. 

Enjoy this incredibly open conversation where Steve lays it all out there for your listeners! 

03:00 - Steve’s awakening to doing the work: You are not defined by your marriage

05:00 - Steve’s seasonal depression spirals

08:00 - Resenting the partner you married

11:00 - Giving Steve the space to work on himself

19:00 - How meditation helped Steve clear his thoughts and be fully present 

22:00 - Breath work with Wim Hof and MANifestation Mens Group

28:00 - The book - Finding Ultra by Rich Roll

35:00 - Steve signing up for a 50K trail run

40:00 - TCS retreat after running a 50k

44:00 - Leaving space for Steve’s masculine energy

51:30 - If you are struggling through your marriage or your mental health

You can find Steve on: @stevaker

Check out Stevaker’s design work: https://stevehamaker.com/

Book a free coaching call with Shannon: https://calendly.com/shannonhamaker

MANifestation Mens Group: http://bit.ly/manifestationapply

Wim Hof Breathwork: ​​https://www.wimhofmethod.com/

Rich Roll: https://www.richroll.com/

Training Camp for the Soul: https://www.trainingcampforthesoul.com/

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The term “narcissist” has been tossed around to describe selfish behavior or frustrations with relationships, but someone with a true Naricissitic Personality Disorder can wreak havoc on the lives of others. Join us for a deep conversation with my friend, Life Coach, Yoga Instructor, Emily Elliot. 

Although, this may not resonate with you, you may have a friend in need of support. Learn the signs of what a narcissist looks like and the resources you have to help guide you. 

***DISCLAIMER: Thankfully we have a wealth of resources, but ALWAYS seek out a therapist on psychologytoday.com or betterhelp.com for professional support first. This was an experience that we recap and there are a million different ways this can show up and play out with other people. 

In this podcast episode:

01:00 - Who is Emily? 

06:00 - In relationship with someone older

09:00 - When did Emily see red flags?

14:00 - How did Emily get the strength to get out?

17:00 - How yoga helped Emily reconnect to self

20:00 - The book - Keep The Roses And Give Me The Thorns

25:00 - The breaking point

28:00 - The cycle of relationship and why Emily went back

32:00 - How did Emily help herself when she was ending her relationship?

33:00 - What does life look like now? What did dating look life after the relationship?

36:00 - How did Emily cope with the pain and trauma?

39:00 - Dealing with the kids and co-parenting

42:00 - Narcissist recovery is possible, but rare

46:00 - How did Emily meet her new partner?

You can find Emily on:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/life_coach_emily/

Resourses: 

Married to a Narcissist by Catenya McHenry for men and women

YouTube: Dr. Ramani Durvasula 

TikTok: @mentalhealness

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