Hello sister and welcome back to the Sexyfit Podcast!
I want to talk about an issue that is very prevailing among us women and that I would like to say I’ve recently mastered. Mastering it made a huge impact on the quality of my life.
The topic I’m discussing today is perfectionism.
What does perfection mean for you?
Is it all in and all out thinking? You eat clean, work out 7 days a week and when you slip you go back to your old routine because you can’t be perfect? Or is it waiting for a perfect moment in life to do something? Do you have crazy expectations of yourself, how you always must appear as perfect?
Striving for perfectionism creates a deep emotional battle that translates into emotional eating, into the fear of starting new things or all in all out mindset.
For me, the battle with perfectionism started when I won Miss Alaska Teen title. From that moment on the chase for perfection began. When you win the title, you start to get molded into an idea of what a pageant queen is supposed to look like in order to win the national title. You’re subjected to endless coaching to make things appear perfect. When you don’t fit the mold, you chase perfectionism even harder.
What does a pageant queen look like to you? To me, she’s tall, blond, with a big smile, tanned, thin, always wearing skirts and heals. I was very much short of all that, I was 5.4 ft, with short brown hair, I had braces, I was too muscular and had an accent. It was like trying to fit a square peg into round hole. Nevertheless, soon I had long hair, perfect teeth and the right answers to everything. I chased and chased and chased.
My identity was totally blurry because of the idea of how I was supposed to look like. It came down a very dark road. One day I realized I didn’t even like myself. I knew I was much more than a girl on the treadmill. From then, a journey of breaking free from perfectionism started for me.
The idea of perfection is transferred onto us from early childhood. We carry the perfect image of Barbie through our lifetime and project stereotypes onto other women.
The issue is much bigger than just body image. This is why we only choose professions that are womanly, we shut up in politics and we are not start up founders, high level executives or spiritual leaders. We sit back in work meetings and work within “limits”.
But does that really serve us? It disrupts our body image, work environment and motherhood. Perfection is an illusion, it cripples us in a way that we feel like we’re never good enough.
Let me tell you another story. Our Sexyfit Chef Vera and I have been putting together a book of recipes. Vera was making zucchini brownies the other day, a recipe she made over 50 times. But this time it wasn’t looking exactly how it was supposed to look like.
So what did she do?
She took it out of the oven, saw it wasn’t how it was supposed to be, then just took ingredients and started again. It was quite amazing. On her own transformation journey of losing 70 pounds, she learned to trust the process, the process of overcoming failure after failure with the conviction that she would get it right eventually.
All the times before she tried to be perfect. It wasn’t about the journey but about the outcome. Now, 4 years later after her transformation she does not let the perfectionism of the recipe phase her one bit. She jumps back in and solves the problem.
For me breaking free from perfectionism is building a business from zero to multiple 6 figures. It’s from 4 to hundreds of clients.
Your recipes, your body, your life aren’t always going to be perfect. It’s insane to set high standards for yourself that you will never meet, if you’re stuck in the perfectionism mindset of considering just the end result. Waiting for that perfect moment to join the Mastermind, buy a fitness plan, hire a coach, or do things you’ve always wanted to do does not make sense either.
We handle imperfections as we grow. We grow 10x from when we fail. We grow a million times more when we get up after a failure with enthusiasm. That kind of growth is about the journey and the process of becoming stronger, wiser, braver and more intelligent, of moving past the fear to reach the next level and do something differently.
Perfection is the enemy of growth. Understanding your perfectionism and why you do it is the key.
How to recognize perfectionism:
- Are you an all in all out person?
- Do you not take on responsibility if you know you can’t get it done perfectly?
- How does it make you feel when you are striving for perfection?
- Are you enjoying the journey all the way?
Now think about this. What if you acted as you already are who you want to become? Paint the picture for yourself. What if you were the most amazing chef that picks up any 5 ingredients and makes the most amazing meal in a heartbeat? What if you thought you already were the most amazing athlete? Or the fitness model, or the fit mom that you want to be?
How would you act? You’d stand a little taller, you’d show up differently, you’d speak and act with certainty. When we paint a picture who we want to be our mind has already been there through envisioning and journaling. We can let go of the things that are holding us back – perfectionism, negative self-talk, self-doubt, self-hate, and body-hate.
We are absolutely able get to any goal that we set for ourselves. If I can watch a mother of 3 children who could not hold a pot 4 years ago, write a cookbook with over 300 recipes I can tell you that you can do anything.
With love,
Zlata
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LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS PODCAST:
Sexyfit Podcast Ep #074: How to be a Fit, Happy Mom and Never Deprive Yourself
http://sexyfit.com/podcast/ep-073-how-to-be-a-fit-happy-mom-and-never-deprive-yourself/
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