Matt's just returned from his honeymoon, which was on a beautiful tropical island in Fiji. The only problem? It was the time of the month for Laura, Marlie got conjunctivitis and Lola was attacked by mosquitoes. If thought Ash was the perfect man, I have some bad news for you - the bloke doesn't have the ability to snorkel. He can only last a few minutes before hyperventilating and then vomiting. But wait... it gets worse. He also doesn't know how to fly a kite. Something he found out the hard way (in the park with Oscar after waiting two weeks for ideal flying conditions).

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• Toilet training - how the hell do you do it?
• Is man flu-just an excuse for getting out of helping with the kids?

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