Shot At Love

Today's guest is Kevin McLemore, and he's a podcast host, fitness trainer, and the author of the new book Dating with a Full Deck. In this week's episode, Kevin shares his relationship experience, lessons he's learned through marriage, divorce, and dating, and why you need to be honest with yourself before bringing others into your life. Kevin will discuss why we need to take responsibility for our actions because we have choices and chances in life. It's what you make of those opportunities that matter. We talk about how dreams become realities when you align perfectly behind them, how to become the hero of your journey to love and why you need to come into dating with a full deck. 

Kevin McLemore is a strength and endurance is coach, track and field coach, marketing specialist, trainer to Ironman athletes, and three Squash World Champions. He's also a television spokesperson. Through the power of story, Kevin is an inspirational speaker encouraging others to reach personal growth. He wants to help continue to improve other people's lives, like his mentor, the famed motivational speaker Les Brown. He's a social activist, Founder of RMK Productions 10 United Podcast Network, co-hosting podcasts such as Talking "Wit" Kevin and Son, Story Time and Wine, and One Queen Two Kings. He's previously published three books, Letters to Elvis, Sprinkles the True Spirit of Christmas and The Indispensable Game of X's and O's, How I learned Everything I'd Ever Need To Know About by Playing High School Football.

Today Shot@Love dive's into Dating with a Full Deck, a book that provides a tangible set of tools, that if applied to your interactions, will lead to the kind of conversations that will allow you to figure out if someone is compatible or not. This book also comes with a deck of cards that act as a conversation started that will leave you laughing and learning an awful lot about the other person setting you up for success when dating. 

Kerry Brett and Kevin McLemore cover a lot of ground topics include:

We have choices and chances in life, and it's what we do with those opportunities matters.
When dating, approach conversations authentically and genuinely.
Why do most people screw up on the first date?
Don't complicate your life by trying to be someone that you're not.
Why it's so important just to be yourself when dating.
Don't go looking for a person that will become your loan officer, bodyguard, babysitter, trophy, chef, or maid. If that's your aim, you'll only be left feeling empty in the end.
Develop what's inside, develop your character, and everything will fall into place.
Life gives you two choices, stay down or get up.
Be honest with yourself before you bring someone else into your life. The truth will set you free.
Do not wish for what you're not willing to work for.

To find out more about Kevin McLemore, go to www.rmkproductions.net. Follow Kevin McLemore on Clubhouse, Instagram @pkmclemore. Listen to his podcasts Talking Wit Kevin and Son, Story and Wine, and One Queen Two Kings.

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Today's guest is Bri Ellison, and she's the author of the book The Love Addict. Love addiction and heartbreak profoundly changed Bri's life when the future she envisioned for herself got destroyed when the love of her life blindsided her and abruptly left. Bri's idea of love continued to get derailed after many failed relationships. The thought of finding love consumed every moment, which eventually caused a pattern of addiction. Bri felt compelled to share her truth by writing about love addiction and how to overcome it. In this episode, Bri shares her story about finding love, kicking behaviors of heartbreak, ending the cycle of failed relationships, and how to find the love that's intended for you. 

Bri Ellison's book The Love Addict is an introspective handbook designed to help women identify and find the love they desire and deserve. If you're someone who creates or ends complicated relationships that have left you feeling like a different person, This book is for you! Bri's story reveals how she became tired of her life, knowing that had to change. She could continue attracting everything that wasn't good for her, or she could scratch everything she knew about herself and love. Bri pressed the reset button on her ideologies around love. Bri shares how she kicked her love addiction and lost her destructive behaviors around love and relationships while gaining transformational tools that dramatically changed her life, leading her to find love and helping women all over the world.

Kerry Brett and Bri Ellison cover a lot of ground topics include:
What can be learned about love from hitting rock bottom?
What exactly is a love addict? 
How does someone become a love addict, and how to unlearn these patterns?
Losing your sense of identity within a relationship.
What does counterfeit love look like?
Why do love addicts go on a journey to find true love, believing it's the only thing to cure her despair. 
Advice for people who are pulling in the wrong person.
Solutions for heal your patterns around relationships.
Common mistakes women make pulling in unavailable men.
Why should you get comfortable with the uncomfortable or the unfamiliar when dating?
Why, once you stopped chasing love that you can find it.

The Love Addict can be purchased on Amazon, and to find out more information about Bri Ellison, you can follow on Instagram @the_love_labb or follow on Clubhouse at Bri Ellison.

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Today's guest is Dolores Gatnik. Dolores is truly an inspiration who has the right idea about dating and living life to the fullest! Dolores had a career for 23 years, but her legacy is her family. She's the mother of 4 children and the grandmother of 4. Dolores met Ron Gatnik when she was 19 years old, and they wed two years later. They remained happily married for 55 years until he passed away. While grieving the loss of her husband, she's adjusted to living alone during a pandemic and is currently battling cancer. Dolores's motto is life is short, and you must live every moment. She's dating on Match.Com but isn't looking to replace the love of her life, simply looking to find a fun companion, and is open to the next chapter of happiness. Her attitude is everything and proof that life comes full circle. I went to my high school prom with her son 30 years ago and recently photographed her headshot for her online dating profile. When we come back, we'll laugh our way through her hilarious and hopeful journey of finding love. 

Kerry Brett and Dolores Gatnik cover a lot of ground. Topics include: 
Why does being a perennial optimist works in your favor?
Dating with the right attitude is the key to success.
The importance of reframing rejection.
Don't be afraid to let your personality shine.
If you have a big personality, people can handle it or not, and if they can't, they aren't your person.
One and done dates.
Why you should suggest fun and out of the box dates.
Why you should always be fun and fabulous!
Why is age just a number?
Dolores Gatnik’s advice is for someone who feels they missed the boat or are too old to find love?
Why you need to have a strong bio.
The importance of hiring a professional for your leading photograph.
The two things you are in total control of in. your life, your attitude, and your effort.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Why no one ever made a difference by being like everyone else.
You'll never be too much for someone who can't get enough of you.

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This week's guest is C.J. Grace, she's the author of Adulterer's Wife, How to Thrive Whether You Stay or Not. C.J. dealt with the double whammy of discovering her husband's Infidelity shortly after being diagnosed with breast cancer. She refused to be a victim and kept her wicked sense of humor. In this episode, we discuss why Infidelity happens, overcoming emotional roller coasters, regaining self-worth, and how to take our power back so we can be happy, with or without a partner. C.J. shares her laugh-out-loud yet profoundly inspiring story while reminding us that life is short and why we should go for what we want now! 

C.J. Grace was a BBC Journalist in the U.K. and China Radio International in Beijing. She's a speaker, voice-over artist, and Infidelity author and authority currently completing Hotel Chemo: My Wild Ride through Breast Cancer and Infidelity. When Arianna Huffington received a copy, she invited her to be a HuffPost contributor. C.J.'s been featured on BBC Radio, HuffPost, Divorce Source Radio, and the Daily Telegraph. She's also the Founder of the Clubhouse Club, Overcoming Infidelity, as well as being a cancer warrior. Now divorced and currently living in Hawaii, C.J. insists that the obstacles she's faced have enabled her to make her midlife better than her younger days. Her mantra is the best revenge is to get past the need for it. 

C.J. Grace and Kerry Brett cover a lot of ground. This episode is an excellent resource for starting over and navigating challenging times such as losing a relationship, health issues, or simply reinventing. Topics include:

How to move past cheating and letting go of anger or vengefulness.
How C.J. survived by creating and using her 6-part system.
Why you shouldn't make important decisions based on emotions.
How to use anger and pain to create the best life possible.
Why Infidelity is considerably more common for men than women.
The old boys club around the subject of adultery.
How to thrive whether you decide to stay or not.
How common Infidelity is, in fact, Infidelity is more common than alcoholism. 
Why people kept secrets and don't talk about this important, heartbreaking subject.
How women get destroyed by being cheated on and how we can help ourselves. 
C.J. offers great advice around getting out of the box of negative emotions.
How cheating creates low self-worth while kicking up shame and fear, and how to overcome these emotions.
How to pull yourself out of a victim mindset when you are deceived by a cheating partner.
Why someone who's left you or cheated on you isn't the end all be all, and why you should quickly take your power back and move forward.
How obstacles and adversity triggers personal transformation.
What you can learn about yourself in your darkest hour.
Trust it if you get a gut feeling that something isn't right about someone or a situation.
Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.
If another woman steals your man, there's no better revenge than letting her keep him. Real men can't be stolen.
C.J.'s mantra, "the best revenge is to get past the need for it".

To find out more about C.J. Grace, follow her website for more information www.adultererswife.com, or follow her on Instagram @cjgraceauthor. Purchase her book Adulterer's Wife, How to Thrive Whether You Stay or Not on Amazon.

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Today's guest is Bobby Shanks, and he's the author of the new upcoming book "Undatable." Do you think dating is the worst? If that's how you feel, Bobby believes you could be perpetuating your undatable tendencies, these same tendencies that afflict millions of adult singles all over the world. To help navigate this problem, Bobby wrote a humorous how-to book to address your blocks, fix them, and find what you want, need, and deserve. In this episode, we discuss the many dating dilemmas facing singles today, such as ghosting, one-night stands, lonely nights, frustrations around dating, and the steps we can take to succeed.

Bobby Shanks is an expert in residential and new construction properties and the owner of Shanks Realty Group with over 15 years of experience working in the Jefferson County & St. Louis area. He's also a podcaster and author of the new book "updateable." In his words, he's a regular, everyday guy who's single and ready to mingle but just hasn't had that "aha" moment where he felt like he wanted to spend more time with the vast majority of people he's gone out with. If you don't want to settle or go on countless dead-end dates to weed through all of the applicants to find gold, this book is for you! Bobby also shares hilarious and embarrassing personal experiences in this new must-read, including specific things to consider that will take you from updateable to an amazing dateable person! 

Bobby grew up in a tiny midwestern town with a high school graduating class of 20 people. He came from a great family, was always a hard worker and provider. He got married in his mid 20's and found himself married twice with three kids by the age of 45. He was hopeful and excited when he began dating but found he was naive about the challenges online dating brings. 

Kerry Brett and Bobby Shanks cover a lot of ground, topics include:
How to use sales and business skills and applied them to dating.
We both knew a lot about the opposite sex and were quick studies around online dating.
How Bobby went on 50 dates during Covid-19, and what he learned about dating during the pandemic.
The essence of contract law and how that compares to online dating?
Bobby's three pillars and his second list of bonus things.
The difference between willingness and worthiness. 
Why most singles have a negative experience around online dating rather than a positive.
To be dateable, you need to address your past relationship trauma and resentments of things not working out and find peace with your past.
Why dating isn't a waste of time, it's an investment in yourself and others.
Bobby's advice for people who feel like they are a failure, terrible at dating, or either unworthy or updateable.
The importance of being truly available, and if you think you are too busy to date, you're just not managing your time correctly.
What you focus on expands. If your focus is to date and find love online, you'll have it. It's that simple.How to go from updateable to an amazing dateable person!

To find out more about Bobby Shanks, follow him on Facebook under updateable The Book. He's also on Facebook under Bobby Shanks. On Instagram @askforbobbystl. You can also find him on YouTube or listen to his podcast updateable (The Book) everywhere you find podcasts. "Undatable, Why Singles Struggle with Dating and What to Do About It" will be released in August 2021 on Amazon.

Shot@Love has recently been nominated for the 16th Annual People's Choice Podcast Award and voting closes on July 31st. I would love your vote for Best Female Host. Thank you in advance if you vote or have voted!

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This week's guest is Jeff Lubin; he's a nationally known Master Photographer, keynote speaker, a leader in the business and photography world, and an expert in sales. He's also owned one of the most successful studios in the country for over 38 years. Jeff is my mentor and the reason I had my online dating breakthrough. He's also given me some of the best advice in my life. In this episode, we discuss the ways relationships are just like running a business. There are many similarities, like the importance of your brand, your value, networking, connections, down to supply and demand. We also discuss unwritten rules, navigating the highs and lows, and why we should remain confident in our abilities. 

 Jeff Lubin began with humble beginnings in a small studio with a window and a neon sign to becoming the leading portrait photographer in the Washington, D.C. area for nearly four decades. Some of his clients include Lynda Carter, Cal Ripken, Robert & Sheila Johnson, and Larry King. In 2017, The Lubin Studio was commissioned to create seven paintings to adorn the United States Court of Appeals for The Armed Forces work, which will display throughout history. 
 
Jeff's style has won him many national and state awards. He earned the coveted Master of Photography Degree from Professional Photographers of American in 1992, after only three years of competition. The following year, he received his Craftsman Degree. Jeff's work has been featured in several issues of Rangefinder Magazine and The Professional Photographer. He has also published over 100 articles in photography. He's been a renowned keynote speaker at national and state conventions all over the globe. Jeff's style is one of the most emulated in the photography industry over the last quarter-century.

Kerry Brett and Jeff Lubin cover a lot of ground, from photography, building a brand and successful business, to starting over with online dating. Topics include:
How to create a household name brand.
How to be relentless in your pursuit to the top.
How to stand out in a crowd and be memorable.
Why if you be your true authentic self, you will be more likable and relatable.
Often people don't give themselves a chance or realize what makes them different or special is the very thing that will make them stand out in business or on these dating apps. 
Why true growth comes from the experiences you have and things not working out.
Why having a never quit mentality is the reason behind an entrepreneur's success.
Why limiting beliefs keep us stuck in our current situation, either staying in a job that makes you unhappy or in the area of our love lives. 
You are what you think and how thoughts expand.
If you can change your thinking you can change your reality.
What you resist persists, and if you are doing the same patterns repeatedly and things are working, that is the definition of insanity.

To find out more about Jeff Lubin go to www.jefflubin.com. or join 10,000 photographers ib his Facebook group Jeff Lubin's Portrait and Business  Tip of the Day and on Instagram @j_lubin. Follow Jeff Lubin  and ring his bell on clubhouse.

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Today's guest is Clémentine Lalande, and she's the founder and CEO of the dating app Once. Back in 2015, along with a friend, Clémentine created the "slow dating" app, which delivers one match a day to each user. The app is the leading dating App in Europe, which has over 10 million users. Once launched, a matching algorithm based on a user's "emotional profile" created by a team of psychologists and dating experts. Once's vision is to create a post-swipe world. Clémentine discusses how she's changing the online dating culture, why we should give The Love Experiment a shot, and why this quality-over-quantity approach is the solution to the oversaturated dating scene.

Clémentine Lalande has this vision of a new way of dating firmly in her mind. Once leverages AI algorithms to provide just one match per day to each user. Each pair has 24 hours of each other's attention and can continue chatting if they "like" each other. And this method seems to be more than popular. In early 2021, the Dating Group acquired the company, overall valuing the company at 18 million.

Clémentine has over a decade of experience in technology and business development. She's also founded the dating app Pickable, a feminist dating app, which reverses gender power imbalances by requiring only men to create a profile. A few months after its launch, it had two million users. Pickable was awarded by Apple then sold to Once, while she continues to serve as CEO while heading the united company.

Kerry Brett and Clémentine Lalande cover a lot of ground and topics include:
The recent launch of the Love Connection and why this is beneficial to daters. 
The Love Connection is the first dating app algorithm created by an all-female team whose goal is to swap endless, image-centric swiping for meaningful connections by offering users just a single, carefully selected match each day. 
The Love Experiment enlisted the help of French psychoanalyst Fabienne Kramer and British psychologist Dannielle Haig. Together, they created a set of 28 questions inspired by transactional analysis, analytical psychology, and behavioral analysis to identify a person's emotional profile.
Clémentine plans to change the swiping culture, and she feels swiping on a variety of apps is like searching for a number in the phone book. That it simply makes singles unhappy.
Once matches people based on personality. Once, is the only dating site that matches couples based on the Myers-Briggs personality test. 
Clémentine shares advice for women around staying hopeful and optimistic  when dating online.
Why you should be specific in your bio and be specific for what you're looking for.
Remember to keep in mind the profile is not the person.
Don't spend more than three days speaking with someone online. Cross that bridge from digital to real-life ASAP – the sooner you do this, the better off you'll be.

To find out more about Once visit getonce.com. For more information about Clémentine LaLande you can find her on Twitter @clemeentine or on LinkedIn.

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This week's guest is Jeff McMahon. He has the most incredible career in the music industry. He was the keyboardist and vocalist for Tim McGraw's band The Dancehall Doctors for 18 years. Jeff wasn't with Tim from the beginning but early enough before Indian Outlaw came out, so let's say once he hired Jeff, Tim's career took off. Jeff even played "Live Like You're Dying" at the Country Music Awards. A song so special it took on a life of its own, shooting up the charts in record time, breaking a thirty-year record for consecutive weeks at number one on the Billboard Charts. Jeff also wrote the last chapter for Baseball legend Tug McGraw's autobiography "Ya Gotta Believe." He also ran marathons  for the Tug McGraw Foundation while supporting research for brain tumor patients. 

Jeff McMahon went to Nashville all by himself; his Dad used to drive two hours to buy records and wouldn't allow him to buy his first keyboard unless they could afford a case. He's a self-taught piano man who became the 2001 Nominee for "Musician of the Year/Keyboardist" by the Academy of Country Music. He's played with Tim McGraw and the Dancehall Doctors for nearly two decades  and played on countless number one singles. He's edited books, and aside from running 6 marathons himself, coached other runners to raise money for charities while working and producing new artists like Ashlyn Grayce, Jim Brown, Nicole Lewis, and Maddye Trew, and Zach Stone.

In this episode, Jeff discusses moving forward, hit records, and holding onto your heart. He also shares lessons from the road and tips around making stronger connections with others. It where cameras, keyboards, and Clubhouse meet. With a powerful performance at the end! 

Kerry Brett and Jeff McMahon cover a lot of ground. Topics include:
Why being authentic allows you to connect with others in a meaningful way.
Slow down and pay attention to others. Paying attention and listening will go a long way when building new relationships online.
You will connect with people for different reasons, so just be yourself, and don't be afraid to say what's on your mind.
Set boundaries with your schedule, don't try to be too available. Men like women who aren't easily assessable.
If you're honest with who you are, you will stand out. Most people are pretending to have a perfect life that doesn't exist.
Listen to what others  say on Clubhouse, which is a great place to hear responses in real-time. If you spend time in rooms on Clubhouse, this will help you improve your communication skills. 
Why being honest and authentic builds trust. Men fall in love with the real you anyway. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there in a big way.
People are so rushed and distracted, so pay attention. Slow it down; it's ok to wait to respond until you find the right words.
Being quiet and being intentional are powerful tools when communicating with others.
If you're always kind, it will go a long way. The struggle is real, so kill them with kindness.
Date a lot. Practice makes perfect. The more you date, the better you'll become.
Lead with your heart, and don't forget to be authentic. Say what you want to say, not what you think you should say. That's how you'll make a significant impact when online dating.

To find out more about Jeff McMahon, you can find him on Instagram @mcmahonsays. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook and Clubhouse under the same.

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This week’s guest is Kelly Gunther, she’s a motivational speaker, an Olympian, and American Speed Skater. But what’s truly amazing about her is that she’s the ultimate Comeback Kid. Her story is one of inspiration. At the 2010 Olympic trials, she endured a double compound fracture that nearly severed her foot from her leg. A fracture so bad for most a dream of the Olympics would have been over. But, instead, Kelly with tears in her eyes got back on the ice. 

At the 2014 Olympic trials, Kelly skated a personal best on the same track as her accident. This girl is in her own lane of greatness, and she always has been. She realized early on that she had herself, and it was up to her to make it happen. Kelly is also single, and in this episodes, she shares what it takes to have a winning mindset and how having that winning attitude will help you succeed online.

Kelly Gunther is an American Speed Skater who participated in the 2014 Winter Olympics. She began roller skating at age six and briefly tried figure skating, but she was too fast for the music, so she took up speed skating. As an inline speed skater, she won multiple World Championship gold medals on the United States relay team. At the 2010 Olympic trials, Kelly made the United States speed skating team but was bumped from the team after another skater was granted a re-skate. In March 2010, she fell during a race and suffered a tragic injury. After intensive rehab, Kelly returned to skating and set two personal best times in November 2011. She made the 2011–2012 World Cup team and placed third in the 1000 meters national championships. At the 2014 U.S. Olympic trials, she skated a personal best time to place fourth and make the Olympic team.

In her words, she wasn’t first. She wasn’t last; she was always the girl right there. She is the ultimate comeback kid, and sometimes it’s as easy as – just continuing to show up. Kerry Brett and Kelly Gunther cover a lot of ground around dating and being single. Topics include

Why you need to believe that you can find love in online dating.
Why you have to have the determination to find love online.
Why the power of intention is so important?
Keep showing up and be consistent.
It’s all about connecting and dating apps are a tool to connect.
Don’t over think it and like Nike says just do it!
If you can’t find the strength to push yourself have a friend push, you.
How having persistence and patience will help you.
If you get knock down, use that anger and energy to continue to work hard.
The comeback is always stronger than the set back.
What you ask for you will get.
Have confidence and when you walk into the date walk in life.
If you fallen down 7 times you can get back 8.
How to overcome limiting beliefs.
Be in a lane of your own, and don't skate away from who you truly are.

You can find out more about Kelly on Instagram @kellygunther. Follower Kelly Gunther on Clubhouse as well at the Shot@Love club. See this Saturday at 11 AM.

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Charly Lester first entered the dating industry when her blog “30 Dates” went viral. She was hired by The Guardian and Time Out Magazine, where she was the  Global Head of Dating. Then Charly launched The Dating Awards, and the European Dating Awards, which she ran in the US and UK until 2018 when she co-founded Lumen, a dating app for people in their 50s. Lumen received a 3.5m investment from Andrey Andreev – the dating titan behind dating apps like Badoo, and Bumble. Then Lumen, Bumble, and Chappy were bought for $3 billion by the Blackstone Group at the end of 2019. Charly is a nationally recognized dating industry expert, and her journey and dating stories are epic!

Charly has worked with several companies within the dating space.  She was Agony Aunt for eHarmony, and her dating advice appears on national television, radio, and magazines. She also was a guest judge on The Apprentice. 

Charly is a sought-after advisor for start-ups. She teaches business classes at the Guardian and is the author of two books – The Female Entrepreneur and Modern Marketing for Start-Ups.  Charly advocates for female entrepreneurship and is the Co-Founder of ‘A League of Her Own’ – an online training platform for entrepreneurs. Charly was named one of the 5 ‘Women of The Future” in entrepreneurship. She was profiled by Forbes the same year. In 2020 Charly was listed in the Women in Tech 100. After just four months with Lumen, she led the business to number 24 in the Start-Ups 100 List, and she was recently awarded a Stevie Award for entrepreneurship.

Kerry Brett and Charly Lester cover a lot of ground around online dating. Topics include:
How a Facebook post lead to Charly creating a blog “30 Dates” and how that catapulted her to start a dating app.
What Charly’s experience as the dating editor for The Guardian and Global Head of Dating for the Magazine Time Out taught her about dating.
What Charly learned about online dating when she created the Dating Awards in the UK and US as well as the European Dating Awards.
The struggles people have in the age 50 group with online dating.
Why people in their 50's are the fastest group onboarding on dating apps.
The biggest changes and shifts in the dating world during the pandemic.
Charly is also a dating expert for RealMe, so she shares the state and security of online dating.
Why people would feel more safe and secure if they used a company like RealMe and did background check before the date.
Charly shares her best dating tips.
Charly also discusses the top mistakes women make when online dating.

 To find out more about Charly Lester go to https://charlylester.com, follow on Twitter or on Instagram @charly.lester

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