When two people join to form a family, they bring with them lots of habits and expectations based on the families they grew up in. Sometimes these constitute big differences, but more often they are little things. Who does the dishes? Do you agree on how that should be done? How can you keep those details from causing unhappiness and dissension between the two of you?

Clinical psychologist Don Azevedo helps us see how people can establish their own family culture and make it work for them. It may be important to suspend judgment and exercise gentle curiosity about why your partner does things differently from you. We can all benefit from becoming mindful of our own baggage. The principles of kindness, respect and curiosity are basic not only for couples, but for any important relationship.

With effort, couples can become emotionally literate and learn to set priorities, share their feelings and appreciate each other. We may need to relinquish the urgency of being right and figure out how to express our respect for our partner. Learn how partners can find creative solutions for their arguments. What can you do to strengthen your relationship every day?

Don Azevedo, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and founder of Azevedo Family Psychology in Cary, NC. His website is http://www.azevedofamilypsychology.com/

The podcast of this program will be available the Monday after the broadcast date. The show can be streamed online from this site and podcasts can be downloaded for free for four weeks after the date of broadcast. After that time has passed, digital downloads are available for $2.99. CDs may be purchased at any time after broadcast for $9.99.

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