Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

By Cathy ChenParenting Kids & Family

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You episodes

April 15Why Teens Reject Colleges for the Wrong Reasons (College List Tips for Parents)
Did one awkward tour guide just cancel four years of opportunity? Is “The vibe was off” a valid reason not to apply? If you need some tips on navigating reasons your kids are ruling out colleges, then today’s episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You is for you! Join Cathy and Meredith as they talk listeners through the reality of the college process, the teenage brain, and ultimately, a list of (for lack of a truly better word) dumba** reasons kids give for not wanting to apply to certain colleges! They share practical advice on how to combat these reasons and highlight truths every student needs to hear as they navigate the journey to college. Thanks for tuning in!

Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:45] Today’s hot topic: Dumba** reasons kids give for not liking a college.
[0:02:16] The reality of the college process.
[0:02:40] Dumba** reasons NOT to cut a school from your list.
[0:07:30] The teenage brain: the importance of fitting in.
[0:07:50] More dumba** reason for not liking colleges.
[0:10:18] Combatting the duma**ery: prove it.
[0:14:15] Reminding your students that college is (actually) school.
[0:15:15] Asking kids to be rigorous when they’re evaluating colleges.
[0:17:20] A peek into the frustrations of the teenage mind.
[0:17:30] The big one: high school sweethearts.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
College Visits 101: Essential Tips & Do's/Don'ts for Parents and Teens
Are College Visits Necessary? The Real Impact of Campus Tours on College Choice
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
19 min
April 08Extracurricular Activities for College: Simple Passion Projects That Help Teens Stand Out
Teenagers often overcomplicate the activities they participate in to impress colleges when, in reality, they can find something simple and meaningful that could be just as impressive, and in the process, they may actually discover a true passion. In this conversation, you’ll hear some real-life examples of a few of the interesting and ‘out-of-the-box’ things our students have done that they are passionate about and are compelling to colleges. From selling drawings of people’s pets for charity to helping a former teacher’s sister navigate ALS using technology, these examples are fascinating and inspirational! We even touch on a few activities our students have tried and failed at. Finally, we talk about purposeful and engaging things Cathy and Meredith are doing in their personal lives at the moment. You don’t want to miss this one, so be sure to tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:19] Today’s topic: unique things teenagers are doing that are compelling to colleges.
[0:04:01] Some real-life examples of cool things teens we know are passionate about.
[0:14:06] A failed activity a student tried and how she overcame that obstacle.
[0:16:17] Purposeful and engaging things we are doing in our own lives.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
College Visits 101: Essential Tips & Do’s/Don’ts for Parents and Teens
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
20 min
April 01Teen Independence Skills: Essential Life Skills High School Students Need Before College
Are you worrying about your high school student’s ability to be independent? You’re not alone! There are many things teenagers should be doing but aren’t, and they need to learn how to take care of themselves in order to be able to function without their parents when they go to college. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Meredith and Cathy sit down to talk about a few of the things teenagers should be able to do, but often can’t. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the importance of teaching teens to manage their time, budget, do their own laundry, advocate for themselves, and so much more! From packing for themselves for vacations to driving themselves around, this episode touches on so many things your high school students need to do alone to become functional members of society, so be sure to press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:00] Today’s topic: what teens should be doing but aren’t.
[0:03:02] Why teens need to manage their time and drive themselves around.
[0:05:33] The importance of teaching teens how to use household appliances.
[0:07:52] Empowering teenagers to learn how to write their own emails.
[0:09:30] Why teens need to learn to advocate for themselves when things go wrong.
[0:11:45] The power of resilience and why teens should challenge themselves more.
[0:13:18] Basic money management and budgeting for teenagers.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
17 min
March 25College Admissions Advice That’s Just Plain WRONG
There is a lot of college admissions advice out there, and honestly? A lot of it is just wrong. In this episode, we’re calling some of it out. We get into the kinds of tips a lot of people think are useful, but don’t actually help. Like forcing or inventing opportunities for volunteering, chasing a single “passion,” or loading up on as many APs as possible. Instead, we talk about what really stands out: curiosity, trying things, changing direction, and showing genuine maturity. Because at the end of the day, admissions officers can tell the difference between what’s real and what’s performative, and that distinction matters more than most people realize.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:02:10] Why it’s important to discuss college admission advice that’s just wrong.
[0:03:45] How not to help your child get volunteering experience.
[0:06:53] Whether or not it’s actually important to have a passion.
[0:08:19] Demonstrating leadership and maturity.
[0:10:50] Why you don’t have to take as many APs as you can.
[0:13:31] What really needs to go into an essay (and what doesn’t).
[0:15:11] Meredith and Cathy’s four-day workshop on personal essays.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Inside the Yale Admissions Podcast
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
17 min
March 17The Parents Who Drive College Counselors Crazy
If you’re the parent of a child who is applying for college, you may need to take a big step back. During this episode, you’ll find out what helps the process and what actually hinders it, and why the most important thing is to allow your child to take ownership of the process. It takes confidence to do that, and during this conversation, we also unpack how to support your child by avoiding some of the pitfalls many of our parents fall into during this critical time. Join us to learn how to work with your college counselor and put your own anxiety and biases aside to truly work towards the best possible fit for your child’s future. Thanks for listening!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:09] Who you don’t want to be as the parent of a child approaching college age.
[0:02:39] Why parents who refer to it as “our” college list are a pet peeve.
[0:05:00] The “Ivy or bust” parent whose primary focus is prestige matching.
[0:08:48] Anxious parents and excessive communication.
[0:11:31] Parents who are convinced that they have the inside scoop on applications.
[0:13:52] Why some parents are determined to put other kids down.
[0:15:25] How college counselors would love parents to show up to college counseling meetings.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
19 min
March 11College Decisions Are In: What to Do After Acceptance, Rejection, or Waitlists
Your kid has finally received their decision letters from colleges, but now what? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith unpack the steps that follow after your kid gets into college and the protocols that parents should take into consideration. They delve into the various outcomes of college admissions, including acceptance, denial, waitlisting, and alternative options like spring admission or a year abroad. They explore how trends in enrolment management impact admissions, the steps that follow after receiving admission offers, and what aspects to consider when comparing schools. Cathy and Meredith also break down what waitlists really mean, when an appeal is worth it, and how colleges shift into “courting mode” once a student is admitted. They discuss why students should prioritize finding a place that feels like home and aligns with their personal and academic goals, how parents can communicate their expectations effectively without imposing their opinions, and how to help your kid navigate rejection and celebrate wins. Tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:00] Introduction and outline of today’s topic.
[0:01:48] Learn about the various outcomes of a college application.
[0:03:22] Hear why colleges offer spring admits and year-abroad programs.
[0:05:05] Explore the concept of ‘summer melt’ and how college waitlists work.
[0:08:50] Find out how likely it is to get your kid off the waitlist.
[0:09:49] Whether to appeal a decision after a denial.
[0:11:17] How to pick the right school and the actual deadline for making a decision.
[0:15:28] What aspects to focus on when deciding between similar options.
[0:20:19] Advice for parents on how to support your kids through wins and disappointments.
[0:26:48] Understand why it is important to celebrate wins with discretion.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
29 min
March 04Highly Selective College Admissions: How B’s and C’s Impact Your Chances
In this episode, Cathy and Meredith deliver a polite but unmistakable reality check: in the realm of highly selective college admissions, a couple of B’s — and especially a few C’s — are not simply “character building.” At institutions with acceptance rates in the low single digits, those grades can subtly move an application out of serious contention. In this arena, near-perfect academic performance isn’t a gold star — it’s the price of entry. That said, a disappointing grade is not the end of the story — it may simply redirect it. Join the conversation as they explore what a “bad” grade really means, the importance of thoughtful course selection and realistic calibration, and why a child’s self-worth should never be tethered to a transcript. Thanks for listening in!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:45] The topic for today’s episode: can you come back from a bad grade?
[0:02:50] What a bad grade means for a highly selective college admission.
[0:05:30] Why you can’t pull your kid out and repeat the year somewhere else.
[0:05:55] The asterisk: a transformational life event.
[0:08:30] Calibration and course selection.
[0:09:20] A positive note: there are a lot of non-selective, great schools in the US.
[0:10:00] The comeback: Cathy unpacks how to come back from a bad grade.
[0:12:00] Why we shouldn’t attach self-worth to the grade our children get.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
14 min
February 25Executive Function Coaching for Parents: How to Stop Procrastination in Kids
Helping kids build motivation and overcome procrastination is one of the hardest things we teach as executive function coaches, and that you need to teach as a parent! It’s a delicate balance of guidance, patience, and strategy. In this episode, we dive into the complexities of coaching executive function, exploring why teaching skills alone isn’t enough to inspire real change. From navigating resistance and introducing consequences effectively to knowing when stepping back is the most empowering move, we break down practical approaches that actually work. Whether your child struggles with habits, motivation, or following through, this conversation offers insights and actionable strategies to support their growth without frustration.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:54] Why coaching executive function is about more than teaching skills.
[0:04:55] The real challenge of convincing a kid to change their habits.
[0:07:50] What to do when your child is unwilling to make a change.
[0:10:14] Why sometimes being ‘hands off’ with your child is the most empowering thing you can do for them.
[0:13:22] Examples of what it might look like to introduce consequences.
[0:16:57] Why endless threatening with no consequences is the worst thing you could do.
[0:18:20] Adjusting your expectations of your child to adopt your systems.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
19 min
February 19Boomerang Kids: How to Set Boundaries When Your Adult Child Moves Back Home
In today’s episode of Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy Chen and Meredith Herrera tackle the growing reality of “boomerang kids”—young adults who return home after college and struggle to relaunch into independence. Cathy and Meredith unpack the emotional tug-of-war parents face as they try to be supportive without enabling, especially in today’s challenging economic and digital job landscape. From setting clear financial expectations and timelines to redefining household responsibilities, they explore how parents can encourage growth without making home life too comfortable. This episode offers candid insight into drawing the line between support and stagnation, and how honest communication and smart boundaries can help a temporary return home stay just that: temporary.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Today’s topic of conversation: The Boomerang Effect.
[0:01:50] A High School Cheer by Cathy Chen.
[0:02:30] Why this is happening now, more than ever before.
[0:04:10] The proverbial “rock and a hard place” for parents.
[0:05:50] Turning the dial up on the home discomfort.
[0:07:40] How the economy and job market are affecting our post-college kids.
[0:09:30] The parent strategy: reset conversations, an established timeline, and boundaries.
[0:13:00] The “real life” Wrinkle and how to navigate gaining professional skills in this market.
[0:18:30 Parents fearing the complacency.
[0:20:00] The lever for parents: financial control.
[0:21:25] Meredith shares her thoughts on the difference between support and enabling.
[0:22:55] What the bottom line looks like.
[0:23:20] The difference between a launched kid at home and a boomerang kid.
[0:25:30] Get those boomerangs out there!
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
26 min
February 11Teen Anxiety and Academic Pressure: When “Maximizing Potential” Backfires
Is pushing your child to maximize their potential 24/7 doing more harm than good? On Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith dig into the tension between kids who feel content and parents who keep pushing for more. They challenge the idea that success equals constant achievement, unpacking how that mindset fuels anxiety and fragility. Real growth, they argue, comes from balancing ambition with knowing when “enough” is enough. Tune in to hear why contentment isn’t a lack of drive, what life actually looks like for students who are always “maximizing their potential,” and how parents can model a healthier, more realistic version of “good enough.”
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:10] Listeners are introduced to today’s topic: contentment vs. potential.
[0:02:50] Unwittingly training never-satisfied adults.
[0:04:10] What is enough for our kids?
[0:05:05] Conflating contentment with lack of ambition: check the facts.
[0:06:50] The pressure to help kids discover what’s out there.
[0:08:00] What we see with students who “Maximize their potential”.
[0:08:50] When parents should pay attention.
[0:10:45] Coaching versus controlling your kids.
[0:12:30] The danger of narrowly defining potential.
[0:15:40] Understanding what value is driving our high standards.
[0:17:20] Why you can have it all, just not all at once.
[0:17:55] Where parents can demonstrate “good enough” contentment.
[0:18:25] Areas where Meredith and Cathy are going to practice more contentment this week.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
24 min

About Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

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Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You brings you candid conversations with experts in psychology, education, and college admissions — so you can better understand your teen and help them…