Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

By Cathy ChenParenting Kids & Family

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You episodes

November 12, 2025You Hit Submit — Now What? What Really Happens After Sending Your College Application
You finally hit “submit” on your college application, so what do you do now? In this episode, Cathy and Meredith walk families through what happens after the big moment, from the confetti on your screen to the first response email from your selected college. They explain how admission portals work, what to do if materials look “missing,” and why it’s normal for systems to take time to update. They also debunk common myths about submission timing, server crashes, and small errors, reminding parents and students alike that perfection isn’t the goal. With empathy and humor, they encourage parents and students to stay calm, be patient, and let the process unfold. Tune in for practical, sanity-saving advice on what really happens after you hit submit!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:58] Today’s topic: what to do after you hit submit.
[0:02:39] What to expect from Common App and college confirmation emails.
[0:03:52] Setting up admission portals to track your application status.
[0:04:49] Why missing materials, like transcripts or test scores, aren’t cause for panic.
[0:07:18] How colleges batch-process and match materials behind the scenes.
[0:08:30] Why parents should avoid contacting colleges directly.
[0:09:47] Making sure students pace themselves after hitting their first deadline.
[0:10:41] The truth about submission timing and last-minute applications.
[0:14:25] Debunking fears about Common App crashes on deadline day.
[0:16:09] Why fear tactics don’t help students do their best work.
[0:18:39] Reasons to consider letting your college text you.
[0:19:54] Why small typos and formatting errors won’t hurt your application.
[0:20:16] When and how to contact a college about a real error, like a wrong major.
[0:21:22] Stay calm, patient, and let the process unfold.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Common App
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
22 min
November 04, 2025Do Those Quirky College Application Questions Really Matter? Inside the Truth About Quick Takes and Admissions Videos
How much do those quirky one-line college application questions really matter? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, hosts Cathy and Meredith dive into the world of application videos to reveal what colleges are really looking for (and what not to stress about).
Together, they share the inside story behind the creation of USC’s original Quick Takes section, why it spread to other schools, and how applicants should approach it today without overthinking. They also discuss the growing trend of 90-second admissions videos and provide advice on what to wear, how to prepare, and explain why being authentic wins every time. Tune in to learn how to nail your Quick Takes, ace your videos, and show colleges who you really are without the stress.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:00] Introduction and the motivation behind today’s topic.
[0:01:52] Learn what Quick Takes are and why students find them stressful.
[0:03:37] What colleges still use Quick Takes and how the admissions landscape has shifted.
[0:06:28] Cathy gives an example of a bad admission for a quick take.
[0:07:02] Advice on how students should answer quick take questions.
[0:09:46] How to use Quick Takes strategically to complement the admission process.
[0:11:11] The rising popularity of short applicant videos and how they mirror Quick Takes.
[0:12:48] Hear tips and recommendations for recording effective application videos.
[0:13:44] Find out why over-editing, heavy scripting, or gimmicky videos do not work.
[0:16:19] Learn the difference between authentic quirkiness and trying too hard.
[0:17:43] Cathy and Meredith’s final takeaways: have fun and remember to smile!
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
20 min
October 29, 2025The Plight of the Standard Strong Student: Why Straight-A Students Still Get Rejected from Top Colleges
After Cathy attended the 2025 National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) conference—where a session titled "The Plight of the Standard Strong Student" drew such an overwhelming crowd that police had to intervene for safety reasons—it became clear just how urgent this topic has become. The so-called "standard strong student" is academically exceptional: straight As, rigorous coursework, impressive test scores, and meaningful extracurricular involvement. Yet, despite being "perfectly qualified," many of these students are still turned away from institutions with single-digit acceptance rates. In today’s episode, Cathy and Meredith unpack what these students often lack, why identifying institutional priorities is nearly impossible, and how families can regain a sense of control in the admissions process. Tune in to hear all this and more, including why authenticity and alignment are the real keys to success in selective college admissions.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] Meredith and Cathy welcome listeners to today’s episode.
[0:02:20] Today’s topic of conversation: the plight of the standard strong student.
[0:04:00] We define what a standard strong student is.
[0:05:00] What they lack: institutional priorities.
[0:05:30] The difference between admission and enrollment management.
[0:09:00] Why institutional priorities are impossible to see.
[0:09:45] How we can give control back to students and families.
[0:13:45] They replicate school lists as an example of how to go about finding the right school.
[0:17:30] The point: are students diving deep enough into researching colleges that align with their goals and values?
[0:21:00] Widen the lens: not having the exact same college list and the exact same majors.
[0:24:00] Encouraging critical self-reflection early.
[0:25:40] Tips for taking back control for our standard strong students.
[0:26:36] The “village” approach and the standard strong student.
[0:28:04] Making space for authenticity to grow in our children.
[0:29:30] An example of why we need to cultivate other interests.
[0:34:40] Key takeaways from today’s episode.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
What Is An Admissions Hook?
Things That Make Us Go Ew
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
36 min
October 08, 2025How to Choose the Best Awards and Activities for College Applications
Chasing medals and certificates rarely tells the real story of a student’s growth. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith break down how to approach the activities and awards sections of college applications. They explain how some achievements, like character awards, stand out more than others, and why colleges care less about collecting trophies and more about demonstrating character, commitment, and impact. From deciding which awards to include to making sure each activity passes the “so what?” test, they share insider insights from years in admissions and coaching. Tune in for a clear, no-nonsense guide that can ease the stress of application season!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:44] Introducing today’s topic: Awards
[0:03:08] Choosing which awards to highlight and where to list them.
[0:05:00] Our thoughts on how to determine which awards are impressive.
[0:05:56] Why kids shouldn’t try to win awards to be impressive.
[0:07:21] The importance of showing meaningful impact.
[0:08:36] Providing thoughtful answers during interviews.
[0:11:10] Why we (and colleges) love a ‘coach’s award’ and character awards.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
15 min
October 03, 2025NACAC 2025 Conference Recap: College Admissions Trends, AI, and Key Takeaways
It's the Conference of all Conferences in the world of admissions: the National Association of College Admission Counseling, or NACAC. As the primary governing body for all aspects of admission, NACAC sets the tone for the year. Today, Cathy and Meredith dive into Cathy’s latest experience at the NACAC Conference. They unpack the biggest takeaways from this year’s main event speaker, explore the emerging trends and patterns in admissions, and discuss how colleges are navigating and adapting to the use of AI. Plus, Cathy shares her infamous NACAC 2025 dress debacle and breaks down NACAC’s crazy session titled "The Plight of the Standard Strong Student." For all this, and a candid discussion on the organization's professionalism, start listening now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] We introduce today’s topic of conversation.
[0:02:00] Cathy sums up the conference in (roughly) four words.
[0:04:00] The biggest takeaways from this year’s main event speaker.
[0:10:40] What we’re hearing in terms of trends and patterns in admissions.
[0:13:04] How colleges have adjusted applications as a result of AI.
[0:15:00] We comment on the professionalism of the organization (NACAC).
[0:19:30] The NACAC 2025 dress debacle.
[0:21:30] The crazy session at NACAC 2025: the plight of the standard strong student.
[0:23:00] A teaser for a future episode on a standard strong student.
[0:26:10] Final thoughts on NACAC.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
NACAC
Brené Brown
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
28 min
September 25, 2025Why Nagging Your Teen Doesn’t Work (and What to Do Instead)
Nagging is a common tactic used by parents to get their teens to do what they’re told. But how effective is it really? And could it be doing more harm than good? In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are touching on the very relatable topic of nagging! Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why parents tend to nag their teens, how effective it is, the damage it could do, and more! We delve into some more positive behaviours you can engage in instead of nagging, before discussing the power of helping your kids take control of their own schedules and setting natural consequences instead of nagging. Finally, we discuss how to find a balance between nagging and having no expectations of your children. Thanks for listening!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:38] Today’s topic of discussion: nagging.
[0:03:38] Why parents nag and why it sometimes works.
[0:07:27] Nagging as a form of controlling behavior.
[0:09:15] How effective nagging actually is.
[0:13:42] What to do as a parent instead of nagging.
[0:22:13] Empowering your kids to take control and setting consequences.
[0:23:40] The danger of overcorrecting to the other extreme of nagging.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
26 min
September 17, 2025Parenting Tips for the New School Year: Mental Health, Modeling, and Realistic Expectations
We are thrilled about everything we have lined up—and are still lining up—for Season five! To kick things off, we're talking about parenting essentials for the new school year. After watching a MasterClass on parenting, we knew we had to start this season by sharing some key principles to get you ready for another year. Join us as we delve into some key points from the MasterClass, including the importance of parental mental health, why what we model has a more profound effect on our children than the words we use, why parents need to stop optimizing, and how to identify optimization. We also highlight the definition of what “high stakes” with your child actually include, the importance of your relationship with your children, and why it’s crucial you love the heck out of them! For all this, and more, be sure to tune in now.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Welcome to episode one of season five!
[0:01:30] Today’s topic of conversation: a master class in parenting.
[0:03:50] Why the mental health and well-being of parents is not optional.
[0:06:00] Go to therapy: it’s nothing new and has been happening for generations!
[0:08:00] You (the parent) are not solely your child; you have a separate identity.
[0:09:30] We teach more with our behaviors than with our words.
[0:12:30] Feeling joy and purpose without disappearing completely into your child’s life.
[0:13:05] Stop optimizing: think of yourself as a shepherd and not an engineer.
[0:14:45] How do you know if you’re optimizing as a parent?
[0:17:15] Why the stakes aren’t nearly as high as you think they are.
[0:17:50] Distinguish your kid from who they are as a human, from what they do.
[0:18:45] We define what “high stakes” actually are (when it comes to your child).
[0:22:33] The importance of your relationship with your child.
[0:23:45] What we mean when we say a protective relationship.
[0:26:45] Loving the hell out of your kids.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Personal Values Sort App Apple
MasterClass
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
29 min
September 13, 2025Welcome to Season 5!
We are back with season five of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Make sure you join us every week as we give you the low down on all the shit your teenagers won’t tell you, because trust us, there’s a lot of it! We are pumped and ready to line up some amazing things for you in this new season, and be sure to also let us know what you want to learn about. Whether that be parenting struggles or navigating difficult challenges with your teens, we don’t shy away from anything. Because, let’s face it, we’ve seen it all! Follow us and stay tuned for episode one!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:46] Welcome to season five of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You!
[0:01:30] Celebrating 50!
[0:03:00] Highlights of our summers.
[0:05:25] What we’re excited about for season five.
[0:06:20] The importance of reading.
[0:07:30] Exciting things we will line up for season five.
[0:08:30] Follow us, and tell your friends to follow us too, for season five!
[0:09:00] Stay tuned for episode one!
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Meredith Herrera Consulting
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
10 min
June 09, 2025That's a Wrap for Season 4
This episode marks the end of our fourth season, and we’re taking the opportunity to share some insights we’ve gained over this time, with a special focus on what we have seen over the school year. We discuss some of the trends that have continued and increased and new ones we’ve noticed in the kids we work with. We touch on the power of boredom and why the true practice of gentle parenting shouldn’t mean permissiveness. Our conversation also dives into themes we’ve noticed in the world of college admissions in the past year, including gender bias and funky waitlists. Lastly, we discuss some of our plans for the coming year, including celebrating Cathy’s 50th birthday cancer-free. Thanks for listening.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:48] Reflections on four years of hosting this podcast.
[0:02:40] How the past year has differed from previous years and what has stayed the same.
[0:05:20] What has changed in middle and high school education.
[0:07:09] A year-on-year trend around reading and speaking.
[0:10:31] How boredom can facilitate finding what your kids are truly interested in.
[0:11:38] Gentle parenting, consequences, and permissiveness.
[0:15:55] Themes in the world of college admissions this year.
[0:20:11] Funky waitlists and weird offers.
[0:22:00] Our plans for the coming year.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
25 min
May 21, 2025Helping Teens Navigate Life: Expert Insights from School Counselor Jake Fauver
Have you ever wondered what the exciting, challenging, and confusing teenage years look like from the perspective of someone who sees it first-hand? And have you considered how insightful that perspective can be for you as a parent? Today, we are joined by school counselor, Jake Fauver, to discuss the most common struggles teenagers face and how parents can help them navigate this transformative time. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the dangerous world of comparison for teens, how parents can become aware of internal struggles (even when it seems like their kid is fine), how to get boys to open up, and so much more! We delve into Jake’s role as a school counselor and hear about common issues he’s dealt with this week before discussing common myths about teenagers. Jake even shares some advice for parents about how to navigate difficult conversations with their teenagers. Finally, our guest discusses the importance of helping your teenagers see different perspectives. Thanks for listening in!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:19] Introducing today’s guest, school counselor, Jake Fauver.
[0:03:51] The danger of the world of comparison for teenagers.
[0:07:16] How parents can evaluate the mental health of their high-functioning teens.
[0:10:31] Jake shares some tips for getting teenage boys to talk to people.
[0:14:36] The kinds of challenges teenagers spoke to Jake about this week
[0:19:13] Jake tells us exactly what he does as a school counselor.
[0:20:56] Some tips on how to navigate difficult conversations for parents of teens.
[0:24:52] Jake debunks some common myths about teenagers.
[0:33:12] When and how to challenge your teenagers’ perspectives.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Jake Fauver on LinkedIn
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
40 min

About Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

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Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You brings you candid conversations with experts in psychology, education, and college admissions — so you can better understand your teen and help them…