December 24

Buy the book!

“Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? – Clarence (the guardian angel in the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” )

I love this movie. I have seen it almost a thousand times (literally). An intoxicated, “financially insecure” George Bailey leaves a bar, and while driving drunk, he crashes into a tree. Then, stumbling a short distance, he pauses on a bridge to consider suicide. As he prepares to jump, a guardian angel, seemingly out of nowhere, jumps in ahead of him. No longer thinking of himself, George Bailey jumps into the freezing river to save the angel, who is now screaming for help. The angel offers George an opportunity to see what his life would be like if he had never been born. In my entire life, up to the point I got sober, I had secretly wished for the exact same thing. When I was a child, I would say this to myself often, and later, I would simply say, “I am going to stick around and see what happens.” Until I got sober. The night I cried out to God, I asked (much like George Bailey) if I could live. After some time, I was able to see the “awful hole” I would have created in my absence.

Reflections

What “awful hole” would you create? Really, look deep.

Daily Challenge

Watch the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

December 23

Alright, fucker. We get it. You have doubts about the “G-” word, and that is fine. But as you read and reread “Chapter 4 – We Agnostics” (Page 44) in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, remember that you can doubt everything you need to. However, you should still try and work the program. You don’t have to have any answers or even have an ounce of faith. All you need to do is commit to working the program to the best of your ability moving forward. You’re not suddenly going to be struck sober or be brainwashed into believing anything. The program of any Twelve-Step group (in my opinion) will reveal truths about your circumstances and character that will be hard to ignore and, simultaneously, reveal actionable solutions you may want to try. It’s that simple. So, go ahead and doubt. But do it.

Reflections

Are you looking for excuses to not try something new? What are you really afraid of?

Daily Challenge

What is one thing you need help doing? Ask for help with that thing today.

December 22

Buy the book! Start the New Year off right!

When the airplane loses cabin pressure, and the oxygen masks drop, they suggest putting your mask on first. Why? Because if you run out of oxygen, you can’t very well help others if you are passed out in the seat. The same is true for your recovery. When you get sober, there is an internal desire to turn around and help your family or loved one. I had a lot of guilt and shame around my neglect and absence as a husband and father. My reaction (codependent) was to try and help my family deal with that loss. Instead of focusing on my recovery, I desperately wanted to help them find theirs. This scenario is like not putting my oxygen mask on first. How would I help them when I was still struggling with the basics of staying sober?

Reflections

Are you trying to repair your relationships too soon? Can it wait until you have a better foundation for yourself?

Daily Challenge

Smile at a stranger.

December 21

Buy the book!

Are you getting sober? Are you in your first 60 days? Admitted to treatment? Do yourself a favor and do what you’re doing when you do it. What does that mean? That means don’t try to repair your relationships and get sober. Don’t change jobs, take a new position, move, get married, start school, etc. Instead, focus on the skills and tools necessary to get and remain sober. Once you have established your life under that foothold, you can climb to very difficult and different heights with much greater focus and ease. So, don’t be so quick to fix your life's other areas. Instead, maintain your focus on your sobriety/recovery and hang in there. It will be worth it in the end.

Reflections

Am I focused on what I need to focus on? Am I putting my mental health and wellness first?

Daily Challenge

What is one small thing you can do today to maintain your sobriety?

December 20

Buy the book!

“The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.” – Alcoholics Anonymous (Page 83)

Sometimes, I feel like such a hypocrite. In my early sobriety, a few years in, I was in a meeting and feeling at one with the world and everyone in it (“Om… Om…”). I left the meeting, and I felt connected to everyone and everything. Hopped in the car and put on the tunes. Tootled my way onto the freeway. And wouldn’t you know it? The highway was under construction, and they were diverting traffic in the opposite direction of my destination. I became livid as I screamed and shouted in the car; threw an adult fit like it was all happening to me. I ran over cones throughout the construction zone and acted out like a child. But what happened to my “spiritual life”? Where was it then? I had found that, although I may have felt very spiritual at the time, I was not “living it” as I needed to. I wasn’t living it at all. I was trying it out. I was looking at my own spirituality like it was a 30-day free trial. My lack of commitment to my new life really showed when it was put to the test.

Reflections

Is your spirituality still in a proverbial 30-day free trial?

Daily Challenge

In the next meeting you attend, be the first to share if appropriate.

December 19

Buy the whole fucking book!

For years, we tried to stop the madness. We made every attempt to cut back; we promised ourselves we would have only a few on the way home and then would stay until the bar closed. As much as we wanted to, we just couldn’t stay away from picking up that first hit/drink, and once we did that, it triggered the inevitable next one, and the cycle continued. We would muster all the will we could. However, every effort was necessary. In the end, it was never sufficient enough to stop for any significant amount of time. What happened? What was so different this time? Some of us got “tired of being sick and tired.” Some of us came to the point of crisis that we could no longer avoid. Our self-will no longer worked, and these bottoms or breaking points only emphasized this fact. So, we gave up. We surrendered to the reality that was in front of us. We surrendered to win.

Reflections

Am I surrendering today? Do I have to surrender each and every day?

Daily Challenge

Write down your sobriety date in your journal or phone calendar. Keep that date.

December 18

At the end of each meeting in my local A.A., they read “The Promises.” The paragraph starts on page 83 and ends on page 84. It lists many things that we might expect to receive from working the program up to Step Nine. At the beginning of the next paragraph, it asks, “Are these extravagant promises?” In in-person meetings, everyone will answer out loud with the following sentence, “We think not.” This is where A.A. looks real culty to the newcomer. Chanting in response to a question, etc. And I always think, and sometimes say out loud, “YES! Absolutely!” These “promises” do seem very extravagant. They promise me new freedom, new happiness, contentment, serenity, less regret, less fear, an increase in self-esteem, and a better outlook on life. Are you fucking kidding me! It does sound very extravagant to me! A bit of an overpromise. But! Looking back, I can see each one, and I am able to identify with examples of situations and circumstances where these have become true for me.

Reflections

What promises from pages 83-84 are true for you?

Daily Challenge

Look up the promises, and meditate on them for a while. Then, reread them and think about your past.

Summary

In this episode of SoberPod, Chelsea and Carl discuss their experiences with Christmas and sobriety. They read from their book, 366 Fucking Days Sober, and share their thoughts on life beyond sobriety. They explore the challenges of Christmas for those in recovery and the importance of gratitude for family during the holiday season. They also discuss their mixed feelings about Christmas and the process of participating in Christmas traditions. They share coping strategies for staying sober during Christmas and the joy of non-alcoholic drinks. The episode concludes with closing remarks and a message of love and support for listeners.

Chapters

00:00

Introduction to SoberPod

03:02

Reading and Discussing the Book

06:14

Life Beyond Sobriety

11:10

The Challenges of Christmas

21:03

Gratitude for Family on Christmas

23:08

Mixed Feelings about Christmas

24:06

Participating in Christmas Traditions

26:22

Finding Joy in Christmas

27:00

The Magic of Christmas with Kids

33:14

Coping Strategies for Christmas

36:44

Interacting with Others at Christmas

40:56

Appreciating Non-Alcoholic Drinks

45:04

Closing Remarks

December 17

Support the podcast and buy the book.

You are who you surround yourself with. Are you not? When I was younger, I ran with some pretty fucked-up people. I refer to them all (including myself) as “street urchins.” And so does the Oxford Dictionary: “Street Urchin; a mischievous young child, especially one who is poorly or raggedly dressed.” Birds of a feather flock together, as they say. And suppose you’re not consciously choosing who to hang out with and associate with. In that case, you may potentially be clumped in with “mischievous” or “hurtful” groups of people. That may not be how you want to be recognized. So, now that you’re sober, it’s time to make a few new choices about who you want to be and with whom you want to be associated. Look for people who are headed in the same direction you wish to be. Even if it’s only a few or, hell, maybe, just one person. As long as they are headed in a direction you wish to be.

Reflections

Am I consciously choosing who to associate with today?

Daily Challenge

Identify people you want to be more like. Make an effort to connect with them somehow.

December 16

Buy the book, support the podcast.

For as long as humans have existed, we have sought solutions to our most complicated problems. We have sought answers from religion, philosophy, the stars, tarot cards, horoscopes, tea leaves, gurus, oracles, and anything that will address the finer points of our human existence. Alcoholics Anonymous, as helpful as it is to the alcoholic and addict, can only help us so much. It has its limits, too. As they say in their parting words on page 164 of their basic text, “We realize we know only a little.” This hints that this is only the beginning for most of us. There is more to learn and experience from this life that simply being sober in the rooms of A.A. cannot provide. So, don’t just sit there. It’s time to explore and engage in the world and all it offers. We live in a time where so much is available to us and for free that it would be a waste not to take advantage of it.

Reflections

What do you want to learn about today? What else fascinates you?

Daily Challenge

Discover some new shit. Stir some shit up and create new problems to solve.