December 15

Buy the book! Support the podcast!

Today, you woke up ready to take on the world. Fuck yeah! It’s time to go get some! The call to conquer your world is now in your head, and you deserve all you have been denied while drinking and using. Today, your sober superpowers tingle, and you are ready for almost anything. But wait! There is one thing any superhero should know before you rush out there. Your sober superpowers can only be used for good. There is always a catch to any superpower, isn’t there? If you decide to use your sober superpower selfishly, it will boomerang on you and bite you in the ass later. That’s right! Regarding your newfound approach and self-awareness, sober superpowers come with a responsibility to serve others and think of yourself less. When used selfishly, it will only do you, and others harm. So be careful out there! You sober super wonders!

Reflections

Is sobriety really a superpower? Has Carl lost his motherfucking mind? Why did he buy a cape, tights, and red bikini underwear?

Daily Challenge

Write down what being sober has given you?

December 14

Buy the fucking book!

Stop saying “sorry.” I know you mean well, but you mustn’t apologize forever. There comes a time in every recovering person’s life when they must be allowed to rise above the damages of the past. We need to rise above the legacy of hurt and the pain we have caused and move on. Indeed, some wrongs may never be set right. We may be unable to fully make amends for some things, but we can no longer continue to pay a debt on some wrongs after proper amends have been made. Sometimes, a person in our lives will continue to use our willingness to make amends and our desire to be forgiven against us. Having hurt them, they may have their own resentments and want revenge. Be careful when being vulnerable. We may open ourselves up to this type of ongoing hurt and attempted reparations that can harm relationships more than they help. As they say, “Honesty is the best policy.” So, stop the fighting and arguing. Try to clarify that you are no longer willing to pay and repay the debt and feel it’s been paid in full.

Reflections

Do others use my past behavior to manipulate me even after I have made proper amends? Have I been honest about my behavior and intentions today?

Daily Challenge

Take a nap today.

December 13

Buy the book. Christmas is coming!

“Being poor is not having too little, it is wanting more.” – Seneca

In the drive and need to feed our souls and the lack of ability to connect with other human beings, we can find ourselves in the most absurd impoverishment. The hunger and desire for more. Everything we humans try to restore, mend, or repair our spiritual malady (a.k.a. 'soul sickness’) on our own will always find us lacking. After years of searching and reaching for false hope, distorted thinking, and trying every fad that promised tighter abs, being more intelligent, losing excess weight, thicker pocketbooks, and a 10-inch (254 mm) erection, the race to cure what ails us is sometimes just another distraction that contributes to our sickness. Stuck in an infinite loop, we reach for and desire more. But more of what?

Reflections

What do I really desire? Am I currently wanting more of the life that is hurting my soul? Do I practice acknowledging and being grateful for what I have, or am I constantly seeking more?

Daily Challenge

Go back to that gratitude list. Put some more items on it. If you don’t have a gratitude list started, create one.

December 12

Support the podcast. Buy the book!

As you listen to others in recovery speak about their journey, there is something that is often said in the rooms of recovery that have helped a lot of people in their own journeys. The idea is that we look at the similarities in our stories and not the differences. You can always find a difference in just about anything. Still, it can be more enriching to look for the similarities. When you’re sitting in a meeting, and you hear someone talk about getting angry when they are driving and get cut off, or when they talk about being impatient at the store, try to say these words to yourself each time you relate to what someone is saying: “Just like me.” These three words connect you to another person. They allow you to work on your empathy and enable you to appreciate that you aren’t the only one who feels a certain way. The truth is, with rare exceptions, we are often more alike than we are different.

Reflections

Are you really that different?

Daily Challenge

Reread this book, and highlight areas where you can say, “Just like me.”

December 11

Buy the book!

The ego is an amusing thing. Somehow, after all the debauchery and fuckery, it comes back to life and can be found growing full force in the rooms of A.A. If you stick around long enough, you get to watch it grow into a “guru.” I found a meeting online during the early days of the “COVID lockdown” called “No Gurus.” And I loved the sentiment of that title. Much like the sober-social-media evangelist, the real-life guru gets off doing the same thing, but in person. Often, you may find a long-timer in a meeting who loves to tell you “how it is” or “how it should be.” They can’t wait to collect pigeons (they used to call sponsees “pigeons” in the early days of A.A.), and they love to claim them as their very own. They live for admiration (real-life likes and upvotes) and the ability to surround themselves with it. They are sarcastically known by others, and rarely to their faces, as “The Guru.” After you have been around for a while, you will know who they are and how to identify them and help others avoid them. Keep a watchful eye out for the gurus growing next to you, but more importantly, the “guru” growing inside you.

Reflections

What really attracts me about the sober lifestyle?

Daily Challenge

Try helping someone today without taking credit or letting anyone know you did.

December 10

Buy the book. Makes a good Christmas present!

You won’t always be inspired. Some days will just be shit. Real fucking shit. Nothing will go right no matter how hard you try. Over time, you may feel lethargic or not want to get out of bed. Some days the whole world will feel like it’s knocking on your door and wanting a piece of you. Nothing will feel “right,” and everything will feel “wrong,” and you will be mad at the world, upset with your spouse, hateful about the job, and angry at God. I don’t have a remedy for that other than what the rest of the book touches on. The hope is that these days become less and less and that you don’t have homicidal or suicidal thoughts… as much. Sometimes, this business of being sober is less about the rewards as much as it is about being able to fight off the doom and gloom.

Reflections

Am I doing all that I can to participate with the divine? Is it my responsibility, someone else’s, or God’s? Is it all in your hands, or would it be better if someone helped?

Daily Challenge

Allow yourself to be helped today.

December 9 - Buy the book!

We all have challenges and things to overcome. Some of us have farther to go than others. Some of us were born with the gift of family and all kinds of support, while some have had to make do with what they have available to them. No matter your situation, there is no point in “playing the victim” or comparing your situation to others. Comparison is the thief of joy and will only drag you further into misery. These challenges are yours and yours alone. It is up to you to evaluate your needs and wants. It’s also up to you to take action to remedy your situation on a daily basis. Talk to someone who has done what you’re attempting to do. Post it anonymously online, call your sponsor, ask your parents, etc. Whatever your circumstances, try to step back and break down the problem into manageable chunks. Then break those down even further into microtasks every day. But always keep the bigger goals in mind! We can address our other challenges the same way we address our drugging and drinking. We talk to others and approach our challenges in 24-hour periods, day by day, one day at a time.

Reflections

Do you have a particular challenge that needs addressing?

Daily Challenge

Try to breathe. Relax. Easy gets it done, so easy does it.

Summary: In this episode, Carl and Chelsea discuss the power of quotes and wisdom in recovery. They share their own favorite quotes and reflect on the importance of connecting with others and taking responsibility for one's own recovery. They also discuss the role of consistency and action in maintaining sobriety and the value of having a sponsor. The episode concludes with a discussion of a quote from Fred Rogers and the imperishable good stuff that comes from genuine connections with others. In this conversation, Carl and Chelsea discuss their perceptions of Mr. Rogers, the connection Fred Rogers had with children, dealing with grief, the importance of sponsorship in recovery, and attending recovery meetings.

Takeaways

Chapters

00:00Introduction and Book Overview

07:03The Power of Quotes and Wisdom

08:33The Desperation of Addiction

18:23Taking Responsibility for Recovery

25:38Consistency and Action in Recovery

34:23The Role of a Sponsor

37:46The Wisdom of Fred Rogers

38:18Perceptions of Mr. Rogers

39:13Fred Rogers' Connection with Children

41:13Dealing with Grief

42:08The Importance of Sponsorship

43:06Recovery Meetings

December 8

Buy the fucking book!

“In the external scheme of things, shining moments are as brief as the twinkling of an eye, yet such twinklings are what eternity is made of — moments when we human beings can say 'I love you,' 'I am proud of you,' 'I forgive you,' 'I’m grateful for you.' That’s what eternity is made of: invisible imperishable good stuff.” – Fred Rodgers

I found this quote early in my recovery. I cherished quotes like this when I first got sober. It was like the Universe was telling me to hold onto this one. For some reason, it meant more to me than all the others. These words reminded me of how I desperately wanted to connect with others and how ostracized from my own life I had become. How my family wanted nothing to do with me and how hard it was to step into the life I once felt I had to abandon under the weight of alcohol and drugs. Today, I still hold these words close as they remind me to love, connect with, forgive, and be grateful to the people in my everyday life. To try not to be critical, harsh, or as mean as I once was. To leave room for the moments of the “imperishable good stuff.”

Reflections

What quotes or wisdom do you hold close and within reach when you need it?

Daily Challenge

Stay open to genuine love. It’s out there. I promise.

December 7

BUY THE BOOK - GIVE THE GIFT OF RECOVERY!

After arguing with my boss, brother, wife, and anyone else I came into contact with in my first few years of recovery, my sponsor was kind enough to point out that I thought my opinion mattered. “What a fucking asshole,” I thought to myself. He stopped short of telling me my real problem. In my relationship with others and when it came to opinions, I thought only my opinion mattered. I would have never come to this conclusion on my own. I had to rethink this problem with my character. In the following years, with the help of my friend and sponsor, I made progress in this area. I began to understand that just because I have an opinion doesn’t mean that people want to hear it. And just because I have an opinion doesn’t mean I have to say it, even if I think it’s fantastic. Oh! Do you have an opinion, too? So fucking what!

Reflections

Sometimes, to participate well, it’s enough just to listen.

Daily Challenge

Try not to “share” your opinion. What would happen if you didn’t share your opinion? Notice the difference.