November 18

BUY THE BOOK!

There is a saying in sobriety that is commonly known as “doing the next indicated step.” This saying is about doing the next thing in front of you whether you want to do it or not. This can follow the process of going to work (i.e., wake up, get out of bed, shower, get dressed, eat food, get in the car, and go to work). Or it can traverse the act of staying sober (i.e., wake up, commit to staying sober, go to a meeting, meet with a sponsor, follow instructions, go home, remain sober, repeat as needed). Looking at the very next thing that needs to be done in front of you is literally “the next indicated step.” And every time you find yourself distracted or wondering what to do next in your life, practice asking yourself, “What is the next indicated step?” Surprisingly, the answer has come to me easier than I ever expected. For a long time, I had a Post-it note on my computer that said, “Do the next indicated step.” Recently, I created a vinyl sticker and put that on my monitor bezel as a more permanent reminder.

Reflections

What is your next indicated step?

Daily Challenge

Create a reminder of your favorite saying for yourself. Put your reminder on a mirror, computer monitor, door entry, etc.

November 16

BUY THE BOOK - YOU MEATPUPPETS

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! The holidays are here! In the U.S., Canada, and Australia, they have Thanksgiving Days; in England, they have Bonfire Day, and it seems like Christmas and New Year’s are everywhere. Sure, it’s all festive and everything. Still, for the ex-addict/alcoholic who has never had to do these things sober before, it can be terrifying. These are the times that can really test our resolve and make us question our desire for sobriety. Do we really want to be sober at times like this? Everyone else seems to be doing it just fine. Why can’t I have just one? Again, it’s time to play the tape forward. Hit that jump forward button and look at what always happens. The reality is far different from the fantasy you have in your mind. Like the rest of us, you don’t have just one. You don’t do it just on those days. You will wake up and find that all the booze is gone and go straight to the store to load up on your favorite brand, etc. Then, without even thinking, the whole fucking thing starts back up again, and you are right back where you started before you got sober. This year, let’s try and do something different, shall we?

Reflections

What have I done or am I going to do to ensure my sobriety today?

Daily Challenge

List some things (on your phone or journal) you can do during the holidays to avoid drinking or using.

November 17

BUY THE BOOK

When was the last time you took a complete step back and really let the moment sink in? When was the last time you took the time to evaluate who you are, and what was going on around and inside you? Looking at what you are doing and how you are doing it; who you were and what you have become and have now been doing the last few months; stopping completely? Having put the brakes on everything, sit still, and let the world walk on by. Take a few days or a couple of weeks. Make no plans. Make no effort to chase the thoughts or obsessions you have had recently. Do the bare minimum and step the fuck back. In these moments, we forgive ourselves for not “doing” anything. We let our lives show themselves to us without judgment, and after taking a big step back, we can now leap forward. Having cleared our minds and established new goals, we can find our path again. We can fortify our purpose and intentions. We can, again, enjoy clarity of mind.

Reflections

Have you had clarity of mind lately?

Daily Challenge

Go to your local coffee shop and order your favorite drink. Sit and watch people. Enjoy your beverage in moderation.

November 15

BUY THE BOOK

I don’t know shit about Latin. Do you? I am gonna lay a bet that you know about as much as I do. So, let me lay this Latin phrase on you: Facta, non verba. What does it mean? “Acts/deeds, not words: actions speak louder than words.” I have also used a variation of this phrase in the past when referring to people who are all talk and no action: “Non facta, all verba.” Which translates to “Not deeds, all words.” That’s about as far as my Latin goes. These short phrases remind me to watch what people do rather than what they say. If I am being honest, I said a lot of stuff in my forty-two years of life before understanding that my words should match my actions and that I should also be careful about people I associate with who don’t do the same. Far too often, we allow ourselves to let the words we say stand in the place of what we should be doing. As they say in A.A., “Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen.”

Reflections

Am I quick to say things that I don’t, can’t, or won’t do? Am I careless with my words? Do I overinflate my deeds when talking to others?

Daily Challenge

Practice restraint of tongue and pen.

November 14

Buy the "fucking" book

When I first got sober, it felt like a prison. No, really. It was as if the walls had closed around me, and I was finally at the end. The enclosure of 15 years of drinking surrounded me, and its pressure loomed. As I began attending meetings, I realized I had missed a lifetime of learning, growing, and general life education. I feared I had gone too hard for too long and might never catch up with my peers regarding my emotional maturity. So, what did I do? I got busy. If my sobriety felt like a prison, I would “do my time.” And what that meant to me was that I would learn how to do time instead of letting time continue to do me. Like a lot of people doing time, I studied. I worked the Twelve Steps and listened to podcasts. I took online courses and worked on the weaker areas of character. I still do these things today. I am committed to constantly learning and growing. Today, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am as free now as I have ever been.

Reflections

Are you doing time, or is time doing you?

Daily Challenge

Be a prisoner. Be free.

November 13

BUY THE BOOK (it is so necessary)

For years, I kept myself in constant denial chasing “the dream.” I thought that all the trappings of modern life were the whole point. Looking around me, I saw everyone else reaching for the money, the house, the cars, the big job, and the paychecks. That afforded me a particular lifestyle, and I abused that too. My old friend George Carlin said it well, “We buy shit we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like.” It’s just another form of “-ISM.” Whether I am drinking daily or completely sober, I will fall for this empty-soul shit unless my spirit is intact and I am clear about my intentions. Materialism will suck us in just as much as drugs and alcohol. There are other ways to lose your soul and still be sober.

Reflections

Do you buy things to feel good? Are you buying what you need or obtaining what you think you want?

Daily Challenge

Buy only what is necessary today.

November 12

BUY THE BOOK

You are smart. We get it. You know all about the formation of galaxies and their stars. The mathematics of the ancients and the correct ignition timing on a 1955 Bel AirChevrolet with a 327 cubic engine and a 4-barrel carburetor. Or is that a bullshit statement? Either way, we get it. You know some shit. Nobody is denying you that. You’re smart. But this problem that we have will not be solved with the kind of intelligence you are used to using. The intelligence needed here requires a deeper knowledge that can’t be found in a book or intellectualized by reading the 12 Steps on some fucking wall. This intelligence is acquired by acting honestly, having hope, surrendering, exemplifying courage, standing with integrity, being willing, growing in humility, expressing and receiving love, embracing responsibility, displaying discipline, sustaining awareness, and being of service. We discover and begin to experience who we are in relation to and through the prism of these principles. This hard-earned acquired “personal intelligence” gives us a promise and freedom we could never have fathomed before.

Reflections

Are you living a principled life?

Daily Challenge

What are the Twelve Principles of A.A.?

November 11

BUY THE BOOK

Fuck! I hate feelings! What is it about feelings? Why do we have them? What good do they really serve, anyway? They are always coming out at the wrong times. Emotions can make us say and do some fucked up shit! People are doing life in prison right now because they felt something and then acted on that feeling. We even have a murder defense of “heat of passion” or “sudden quarrel” that can reduce your charge to voluntary manslaughter (don’t tell them I told you). That’s how much feelings can affect your rational mind. So, it’s no wonder that when you sober up an addict or alcoholic, they will have a hard time adjusting. It really is okay to have a bad day. It's not okay to kill someone because you had a bad day. Each day you can spend without thoughts of homicide or suicide is a good day. But bad days and shitty feelings will happen! Today we are learning to not act on them.

Reflections

When was the last time you lost your shit?

Daily Challenge

If you are angry today, be angry. Just don’t kill anyone else or yourself.

November 11

BUY THE BOOK TODAY! ( https://a.co/d/38gLV4F )

Fuck! I hate feelings! What is it about feelings? Why do we have them? What good do they really serve, anyway? They are always coming out at the wrong times. Emotions can make us say and do some fucked up shit! People are doing life in prison right now because they felt something and then acted on that feeling. We even have a murder defense of “heat of passion” or “sudden quarrel” that can reduce your charge to voluntary manslaughter (don’t tell them I told you). That’s how much feelings can affect your rational mind. So, it’s no wonder that when you sober up an addict or alcoholic, they will have a hard time adjusting. It really is okay to have a bad day. It's not okay to kill someone because you had a bad day. Each day you can spend without thoughts of homicide or suicide is a good day. But bad days and shitty feelings will happen! Today we are learning to not act on them.

Reflections

When was the last time you lost your shit?

Daily Challenge

If you are angry today, be angry. Just don’t kill anyone else or yourself.

November 9

“Quit talking and start chalking.” – 8-Ball Delux Pinball Machine

I worked in a video game arcade when I was young. I would tend the register. Refund lost quarters, keep the place clean, sell meth - you know - the usual kid stuff. Sometimes it would get really quiet when nobody was around, and the sounds of all the games would almost feel haunting like they had lives of their own. Every once in a while, the 8-Ball Delux Pinball machine would say, “Quit talking and start chalking!” This is a plea for someone to put in a quarter and play. I played that pinball machine a lot in my spare time, but the sound it made when I wasn’t playing still rings in my brain at times like these. It seems that sloth and procrastination are on my heels again today. I hear that machine calling out as I sit here trying to complete this book. I want to write, but I am tired. I want to say some pithy and witty shit, but my fingers just hover over the keys.

Reflections

How are you doing on your goals? Do you have goals?

Daily Challenge

Talk to someone about how you feel. And use the feelingswheel.com to pinpoint what those things are.