November 7

You are responsible for your own recovery. It is nobody’s responsibility but your own. Nobody is coming to save you. Your healing and ability to bounce out of this lie entirely on your shoulders. It’s going to be a long road - hopefully, one that you can stay on for the rest of your life. You might slide backward, everyone has setbacks, and none of us are perfect. But don’t get lost in the confusion. Don’t forget who is still responsible for getting back on track. That’s right! It’s you! So, stop looking to point fingers. Stop the excuses and the blaming of others. We don’t have to beat ourselves up, but we do have to own and keep our side of the street clean, even during tornado season.

Reflections

Am I taking responsibility for my own recovery?

Daily Challenge

As a symbol of keeping your side of the street clean, buy a new broom and dustpan this week (if it’s within your budget).

November 5

Some helpful acronyms are always a reliable staple in recovery. False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.). Fucked-up Insecure Neurotic and Emotional (F.I.N.E). Etcetera. All these things are fine and fucking dandy, but I have found that they aren’t nearly as helpful as the acronym T.H.I.N.K. I have used this acronym in many situations. It applies not only in talking with others but should not be overlooked when talking to yourself (that “inside voice”). Are you ready? Of course, you are. The acronym is used right before you are about to say something. Pause and ask these basic questions: Is it Thoughtful? Honest? Inspired? Needed? Or Kind? If what you’re about to say can be one of these five things, you have a good chance of not harming yourself or others with your words. It takes practice, but try this one for a while before discarding the practice.

Reflections

Are your words always thoughtful, honest, inspired, needed, or kind? Maybe you can stop and THINK about that?

Daily Challenge

Put this into practice with how you talk to yourself starting right now.

November 5

Some helpful acronyms are always a reliable staple in recovery. False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.). Fucked-up Insecure Neurotic and Emotional (F.I.N.E). Etcetera. All these things are fine and fucking dandy, but I have found that they aren’t nearly as helpful as the acronym T.H.I.N.K. I have used this acronym in many situations. It applies not only in talking with others but should not be overlooked when talking to yourself (that “inside voice”). Are you ready? Of course, you are. The acronym is used right before you are about to say something. Pause and ask these basic questions: Is it Thoughtful? Honest? Inspired? Needed? Or Kind? If what you’re about to say can be one of these five things, you have a good chance of not harming yourself or others with your words. It takes practice, but try this one for a while before discarding the practice.

Reflections

Are your words always thoughtful, honest, inspired, needed, or kind? Maybe you can stop and THINK about that?

Daily Challenge

Put this into practice with how you talk to yourself starting right now.

November 4

“I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!” – Kirk Lazurus

Who the fuck are you? If you are new to sobriety, it might feel like you know who you are, but speaking from personal experience, I am surprised by myself all the time. After living under the veil of alcohol, drugs, and a lot of trauma and ego most of my life, I still find it hard to say exactly who I am and what I am about. For a long time, I thought I knew who I was and felt confident about the decisions I made in my life. My philosophy was consistent: “Fuck you before you fuck me.” And that was all I needed to propel myself from day to day. Had you ever stopped me on the street and asked me who I was, I wouldn’t have a clue where to start. I would respond with my job title or my name, but that’s as deep as it would go.

Reflections

Who are you? Really? What do you like and dislike? What are your convictions? What is your purpose or your life’s task? What were you put on this Earth to do? What is the one thing that you can bring to the world today that nobody else can?

Daily Challenge

Do not write a daily meditation book about 366 F***ing Days Sober. It’s already been done!

November 3

“God has no religion.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Boy! When I read the quote above the other day, it hit me right between the eyes. Of course, God has no religion! It makes sense to me! We (us humans) are the ones who make the whole idea of God so complicated. God gives us 10 commandments, and we turn the entire thing into 1,000 different sects, each with its own 1,200-page cluster-fucked book to go along with it. It’s no wonder some addicts and alcoholics have such a hard time with the concept of a Higher Power in such a confusing landscape. As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, “Most good ideas are simple…” and it can be that easy. As I have grown in understanding and awareness in the last eight years, I have also found these words in the Big Book to ring true: “We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all [people].”

Reflections

Have you found it hard to consider a Higher Power in recovery?

Daily Challenge

If you tip someone today, double the amount you would usually tip.

November 2

In the world of work, there is nothing more offensive to me than the term “I am self-motivated.” Why? Because when you are working as a team, there is no room for “self” motivation. Sure, you can take the initiative, but what about your team? Is everyone on the same page? Did you rush ahead and do something because it was necessary? Did everyone agree on what needed to be done, or was it self-centered on your part to “take the reins and run with it,” as the selfish might do? In most work situations, it’s rare to be the single source for the best answer or the correct way to do something. So, maybe it's not always a good idea to be “self” motivated. Perhaps the idea is to be motivated to do the right thing or motivated to meet the goals with the most benefit (for everyone) in mind.

“What is good for the hive is good for the bee.” – Marcus Aurelius

Reflections

Have you checked in with your team at work? What do they need? What can you do better to help the other bees in your hive?

Daily Challenge

Have you checked yourself so that you don’t wreck yourself?

November 1

Sometimes we feel like we have to make progress in much more significant issues of our lives before we can even consider giving up drugs or alcohol. Do you know how strange this looks to someone on the outside of our circumstances? People look at us like we are just fucking mad. They can’t even understand why we don’t consider giving up the most harmful and dangerous thing we do on a daily basis. But you and I know why we never wanted to consider it. Because drugs and alcohol worked! Because it allowed us to live and be with the people we absolutely could not stand to be with. Who were they? You guessed it, ourselves. Because it worked so well and saved us from the devastating effects of being human beings, it had to always be something else that stood in our way of leading a happier and joy-filled life. It had to be her, him, them, our spouses, lovers, jobs, government conspiracies, etc. We would prefer to believe anything else other than the cold hard truth.

Reflections

Can you successfully drug or drink today?

Daily Challenge

Do something you don’t usually do today. Whatever that may be. (Today, I went shopping with my wife. It was boring.)

October 31

“Faith and doubt go hand in hand, they are complementaries. One who never doubts will never truly believe.” – Hermann Hesse

I have always doubted and have had little understanding of faith. I guess that’s why I liked the quote above. It reminds me that it’s okay to question things. We are complicated creatures with brains operating on this level, with and without our own participation or cooperation. It illustrates the need to weigh the greater questions for ourselves and not just take anyone’s word for them. We must examine and put the idea of faith to the test in order to “Come to believe.” Not in a religious sense, but with a bend towards a personal relationship, one that is created with a Higher Power over time. It took experience living sober and putting my thoughts, actions, and attitudes in the exposure of the “light of the divine” before I could see the sanative* effects of belief for myself.

Reflections

Do you have faith? And doubts?

Daily Challenge

Find a way to use the word “sanative” in a meeting. Just to mess with people!

*Having the power to cure or heal. Curative. Restorative.

October 29

I get confused when people paraphrase solutions for recovery in a conversation by saying something like, “Use your tools of recovery.” And then they go on talking without really mentioning what those tools actually are. In my early recovery, I was too embarrassed to ask what those things were. Should I know what the “tools” are? Why doesn’t anyone just list this shit out for the rest of us who are still foggy, A.F.? So, for added clarity and much less confusion, here is your toolbox for recovery:

1. Pray (think of it as setting your intentions)

2. Go to meetings

3. Get a sponsor

4. Read recovery materials

5. Meditate

6. Talk to others in recovery

7. Work the Twelve Steps

8. Don’t drink or use

Those are the basics. Of course, there are other things to put in your toolbox, and even some tools above may not be perfect for you. Use them when you need them.

Reflections

What works for you?

Daily Challenge

Pick a number between one through eight from the list above.

October 28

Grieving any loss is hard. I have never experienced the thought or topic of grief more than in recovery. We mourn the loss of our former selves, the loss of alcohol, the loss of childhood, the loss of friends, and right now, for me, the loss of my friend and sponsor. In the last eight years, I have enjoyed watching a natural leader guide and nurture people with love, kindness, and an overwhelming show of empathy and compassion. I have witnessed the principles of our program in action up close. Expressed through the heart of one of the most endearing men I have ever met. It’s not easy to love and lose someone close to you. An overwhelming emptiness surrounds the thought and expression of love I once had for that man. They say, “Grief is just love with no place to go.” And I understand that today more than I would care to.

Reflections

Am I grieving the loss of something?

Daily Challenge

Don’t be afraid to name it if you feel a sense of loss. It’s called grief, and it’s okay to feel it.