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Greetings Trashlings! With Roe v. Wade overturned the period tracker apps are no longer safe! Enjoy this episode to learn more about your monthly hormone cycle, the moon cycle, and click: https://moonplanner.substack.com/https://moonplanner.substack.com/ to sign up for our substack to access our custom downloadable calendar for all your analog tracking needs.

Thanks to all who participated!

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@mollygaebe

@sarahswords

@desihandal

@colinziemer

& as always @mollymulshine @saraarmour @themoonual

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Greetings Trashlings! Happy Cancer Season! 

00:00 — Fitness freaks, listen up! Weightlifting is out, Pilates and hot girl walks are IN and yes, like everything, this new philosophy relates to the moon cycle. Welcome to Cancer season, let’s all be more gentle on our bodies. 

9:00 — Beyonce drops new divine feminine anthem “Break My Soul” on the first day of Cancer season. Permission to quit our jobs? We like to think so. The creative process requires rest! 

19:30 — Girl boss Sheryl Sandberg quietly leans out of her job at Facebook. What does this mean for women who work? See above.

32:18 — Cancer sun Erika Jayne is seen too drunk laid-out complaining on this week's episode of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" as Molly, a.k.a. the Blonde Prophet, predicted. Cancer sun Lisa Rinna reminds EJ (and all of us watching at home) that you really shouldn’t drink on anti-depressants.

42:00 — Sami Sheen launches an OnlyFans, calling attention to a new rising category: nepotism influencers — the otherwise basic children of celebrities who have no intention of working but have amassed huge Instagram followings. 

48:00 —  Kim Kardashian declares her new look: Barbie from the future. Did she reduce her BBL? Cancer sun Khloe Kardashian finally dropped the BBL and finally has a new (rich) normie boyfriend. Do BBLs need to be removed or can the butt melt off with run of the mill weight loss? Have we become so numb to plastic-surgery-face that Heidi Montag looks normal? 

1:00:00 — Marilyn Monroe and Kim Kardashian synastry! Based on the astrology, does Marilyn care that Kim allegedly damaged Marilyn’s skin-toned dress at the Met Gala? 

1:25:00 — Next Zoom Moon Ritual is June 28 sign up now to join us for #SpaceTrashLive and SOS please leave a review! More important now than ever! 

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Greetings Trashlings! Molly is on her holiday hen do in Ethpania, but Sara is holding it down at Westminster West hosting The Moonual and the TrashCast must go on! Especially when there is a celeb spotlight in the headlines and it just happens to be astrologically perfect!

Apologies in advance for pro-noun flubbing & mispronouncing everyones names.

PART 1

3:25 THIS FULL MOON ISSSSS EZRA MILLER 

4:30 Sara explains that Ezra Miller identifies as a they/them while calling them a he/him for a full minute. 

6:15 Quick check-in with the group: does anyone know what the plot of the flash is? Did we see perks of being a wallflower? Apparently theres a show called The Boys! Highly recommended by Reggie Edwards (Sag Moon) & Valerie Pascal (Sag Sun). 

10:03 Sara reads through a bullet point list of allegations from TAB UK against Miller for the first time with the gang. 

10:32 Where Did Ezra & Gibson formerly known as Takata Iron Eyes meet? (The word Sara was looking for was “Protest”)

16:30 Razy is like ummmm…. literally no idea who Ezra Miller is but her chart reading slaps. 

PART 2

35:52 The Department of Criminal Astrology is back on the case. Desi Handal joins Sara after the Moonual to look more deeply into the allegations against Ezra Miller and come to their own conclusions about the fantastic beast that is Ezra Miller & the crimes of committing to the bit!

41:00 A they / them disclaimer from Ezra Miller himself 

43:00 An Ezra Miller Retrospective from birth - the present as published by Vulture 

1:37:00 Human beings love the morose! 

1:47:00 More Ezra Miller natal chart analysis 

1:52:00 Gibson’s credible video statement & in defense of the crossbow being cool

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Greetings Trashlings! Molly's putting the anus in Uranus this week with a PSA on protein cookies & gut health!

8:00 Sydney Sweeney's low rise-mini Miu Miu set makes waves at the MTV TV & Movie Awards, Unscripted

20:20 Cole Sprouse faux-BBL is an instagram trend among men

21:30 Chaney Jones IG strategy speculation

27:30 Sara's Depp v Heard v MUSK theory -- conspiracy or fan fiction? You decide ...

30:21 No picture of Lilibet & The Queen from the Jubilee? What gives!? Is Harry & Meg's Netflix deal the reason Will, Kate, & the cousin's didn't attend Lilibet's first birthday party? Is California home for Harry, or just home for now? When will Harry realize the production business is actually a whole lot of hard work? Plus, why rich people are a**holes.

44:48: The Body Language Guy misses the mark on live-stream coverage & is thinly veiling his true desire to be a fashion commentator.

Follow us on IG Molly Mulshine Sara Armour

Join the moon party at the next zoom moon ritual 6/13 @TheMoonual

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Happy Birthday to Lilibet Diana, the last remaining Gemini Royal, celebrating this weekend at the Queens Jubilee!

5:00 Signs that are most likely to love to sue you 

7:50 Do people even know who Lilibet is? Chip Dip’s Canadian perspective on the royals. 

10:10 Desi confirms there’s high tea in Bolivia even though Bolivia is one of the few countries the British never colonized (confirmed)! What is Bolivian high tea like?

15:00 Desi with the OTHER high tea, dispensaries are now open in Texas! No one smokes weed in the UK. 

18:30 Future of the Monarchy and the human need for celebrity. Quality of life in the UK vs US. 

21:44 The Swedish “individualistic culture” wherein they refuse to feed other peoples children, even if there’s a sleepover. 

23:15 Honoring the Queen’s epic legacy. When she passes, Charles may have to redistribute the wealth & property empire before there is another Marie Antoinette situation. 

27:45 The illusion of Democracy 

30:00 Random Will Smith slap hot-take : Scientology mind control?

31:00 The fated astrology of the Queens Jubilee / Lilibet’s 1st birthday. Essential pain-point in the monarchy: the royal family vs the royal corporation. 

35:03 Razy’s objective Reading of Lilibet Diana’s natal chart. Why it’s crazy for Lilibet to be named so intimately for the Queen. Did they get the Queens blessing? Who’s lying and why are we so comfortably with celebrities lying? Is the Monarchy the Chuck-E-Cheese of the UK? Will Lilibet own a sex dungeon!? 

43:40 working with the Rising Sign (AC) vs Midheaven (MC)

45:38 Queen Elizabeth & Lilibet Diana synastry. 

1:06:00 Molly’s genius palace reality tv show idea & the cute Irish Taoiseach 

Recorded live at The Moonual

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Happy Birthday to Lilibet Diana, the last remaining Gemini Royal, celebrating this weekend at the Queens Jubilee & discussed at our last Moonual (aka zoom moon ritual)

5:00 Charts that are likely to love to sue you 

7:50 Do people even know who Lilibet is? Chip Dip’s Canadian perspective on the royals. 

10:10 Desi confirms there’s high tea in Bolivia even though Bolivia is one of the few countries the British never colonized (confirmed)! What is Bolivian high tea like?

15:00 Desi with the OTHER high tea, dispensaries now open in Texas! No one smokes weed in the UK. 

18:30 Future of the Monarchy and the human need for celebrity. Quality of life in the UK vs US. 

21:53 The Swedish “individualistic culture” wherein they refuse to feed other peoples children, even if there’s a sleepover. 

23:15 after the Queen’s reign & her epic long term legacy, Charles may have to redistribute the wealth & property empire before there is another Queen Antoinette moment. 

27:45 The illusion of Democracy 

(29 molly says crazy thing if need it)

30:00 Random Will Smith slap hot-take : Scientology mind control?

31:00 The fated astrology of the Queens Jubilee / Lilibet’s 1st birthday. Essential confusion in the monarchy over the family vs the corporation. 

35:03 Razy’s objective Reading of Lilibet Diana’s natal chart. Why it’s crazy for Lilibet to be named so intimately for the Queen. Did they get the Queens blessing? Who’s lying and why are we so comfortably with celebrities lying? Is the Monarchy the Chuck-E-Cheese of the UK? Will Lilibet own a sex dungeon!? 

44:25 working with the Rising Sign (AC) vs Midheaven (MC)

45:38 Queen Elizabeth & Lilibet Diana synastry. Psychic Leo connection will remain in-tact long after the Queen passes.

57:00 Major moment memories - where were you during the OJ bronco chase? 9/11?

60:00 The most recent eclipse cycles and what we have been meant to focus on up until now. Let what wants to die, die! Rebirth is imminent, but it requires letting go.

1:02:00 Establishment royal family vs new American royal family.

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The Depp v. Heard verdict just dropped and the trash team ran to the zoom as fast as possible to deliver this podcast to you! 

Amber Heard was found guilty of defamation (by implication) which is scary because whether you like her or not she didn’t technically name Johnny in the op-ed and now we are technically vulnerable to be sued for liable for all personal stories ever shared on this podcast, luckily we’re pretty sure none of our ex’s are listening.  

Desi Handal joins us. The asteroid astrology is specifically wild. Enjoy. 

Scroll to 29:29 to jump to the astrology

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Greetings Trashlings!

Kourtney Kardashian & Travis Barker marry (again) in Italy with the fam (for the 'gram!) in a Catholic-themed wedding ceremony "hosted" by Dolce & Gabbana. Join Molly Mulshine & Sara Armour to discuss the fashion, the passion, the konspiracies, and kontroversies surrounding this divine union & more!

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Welcome back, Trashlings! Today we're covering the penultimate week of Depp v. Heard. It’s a tik-tok trial and everyone’s taping and vaping!

Let's review...

3:35 An oft-forgotten tale from the 2016 MET Gala - Johnny Depp abandons both Amber Heard and Ralph Lauren on the red carpet. Elon swoops in. Molly finds unexpected Wedding inspo. What is this trial about, again?

7:00 Dueling testimony from ex-Depp-agents Tracey Jacobs & Christian Carino

10:20 Why is this being televised? Is Johnny’s team leaking doctored disinformation docs to #AmberTurd et al accounts? What’s the deal with the viral Jennifer Howell letter and where on earth is Jennifer Howell!?

12:00 Courtney Love chimes in. Is “believe all women” a faulty premise? Are women exempt from being classified as abusers? Has Amber perjured herself in the UK trial or does she really think “donating” money and “pledging” money are the same thing? 

16:33 Mutual abuse vs. reactive abuse vs. self-defense. If Amber loses this trial, what precedent does it set for survivors stories moving forward? Perhaps there actually is such a thing as bad press? 

23:30 The Eastern Columbia Building commune, body cam footage, and new testimony from Whitney Heard Henriquez and Rocky Pennington. The story of a casual ECB thanksgiving altercation among girlfriends. Modern day PSA: This trial is your brain on drugs 

34:00 Amber Heard’s acting coach testifies that that Amber has trouble crying when she’s acting. The identity politics of violence, collective accountability & the limitations of gender as a concept.

46:00 Louis CK's unhelpful re-emergence post-cancellation. Johnny Depp's self-imposed no-eye-contact order.

50:00 Before we adjourn: The secret beauty benefits of Arnica gel. Did Amber Heard get cheek implants? Julia Fox went to grocery store in her undies. Can Kim K make legal-chic a trend? Why did Sara get bullied at the office? Celebrities need to get day jobs for their own mental health. Internet memes call for people to be accountable for their IBS. The quickie astrology of Jesse Williams viral broadway dick pic. Britney's IG nudes.

Sorry it's up late -- Blame Mercury Retrograde!

Happy Gemini Season!

Follow your hosts: @mollymulshine @saraarmour

Join us for a virtual comedy moon ritual every 2 weeks @themoonual !

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