I know everyone loves the Let Them Theory… but I actually think there’s one pretty big problem with telling people to simply “let them” and stop caring what other people think.

It kind of asks us to fight against our own psychology.

Humans are wired to care about belonging, rejection and what other people think of us. For most of human history, being accepted by the group wasn’t just nice — it was tied to survival.

Which is probably why one weird comment can derail your entire day, someone seeming “off” sends you into a spiral, or criticism somehow becomes evidence that you’re a terrible person… hi. Same.

For years, I thought the goal was to learn how to stop caring what people think. But the more I’ve looked into the psychology behind it, the more I’ve realised that advice like “just don’t care” can miss something pretty important: humans are literally wired to care about belonging.

So maybe the goal isn’t becoming someone who doesn’t care.

Maybe it’s becoming much more selective about whose opinions are allowed to carry weight.

In this episode, we’re talking about:

• Why some of us take criticism, rejection and other people’s moods so personally
• The very old survival reason your brain cares so much about what other people think
• How negativity bias can make one negative comment louder than 100 positive ones
• Why telling yourself to “just stop caring” often doesn’t actually work
• The difference between receiving feedback and automatically turning it into a judgement about who you are
• Why disagreement doesn’t necessarily mean rejection
• The problem with giving people who barely know you the same voting rights as the people who actually do
• The simple filter I now use before deciding whether someone’s opinion deserves my energy
• The “mailbox” idea that completely changed how I think about criticism
• How to let something sting without letting it become your truth

And towards the end, I’ll give you the questions I now ask myself when a comment gets under my skin — because I’m probably never going to become someone who magically doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

But I can stop handing everyone a vote on who I am.

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women. 

Let’s Hang:

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up        

Steph Pase on Instagram:  @stephpase_         

Steph Pase on Youtube:  @stephpase.                

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners    

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”:    Penguin Books Australia 

Steph’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before planners and podcasting, I was a wedding makeup artist. I did hundreds of faces, and these are 10 things I’d want you to know to get more out of your everyday makeup, without replacing your entire makeup bag.

This is for you if:

• You want to elevate your everyday makeup look without spending money 
• You learnt makeup from a Maybelline mousse pot and a lot of guessing, and no one's ever actually shown you
• You've got a drawer full of products and your foundation still somehow ends up pink, grey, or in your hairline
• You're 30-plus and your face looks tired in a way it didn't used to, and you want an instant lift 

Stay til the end for the biggest hack that will save you time and tears 

Follow Stephing Up

I'm Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that's messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn't go to plan. We'll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning. So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we're Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more people. .

Let's Hang:

• Stephing Up on Instagram: https://instagram.com/stephing.up
• Steph Pase on Instagram: https://instagram.com/stephpase_
• Steph Pase on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@StephPase.
• Shop Planners + Organisation: https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au
• Shop Steph's book "Mastering My Messy Life": https://www.penguin.com.au/books/mastering-my-messy-life-9781761349256

Steph's Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Last week I shared my whole health journey (the 25 kilo one, if you missed it... it's a doozy). This week’s episode is the part everyone actually asked for: the current routine. What I train, what I eat, and how it sticks... with the reminder that this is what works for ME. It's not a cookie cutter program. Take what fits your life and your brain, then leave the rest.

This is for you if:

• You've restarted the same routine so many times you've stopped telling people it's a restart
• You joined a gym in a burst of confidence and now you can't make yourself walk in
• You're doing everything "right" (the HIIT, the 10K steps, the tiny meals) and feeling worse instead of better

In this episode:

• What changed in the last six months and why the scales went in the bin
• My exact training split and the rest-period mistake that stalls your strength
• What I eat in a day
• How to stay consistent with ADHD and why the gym became my source of peace
• Alcohol, honestly and the book that finally unhooked it
• Gym anxiety and permission to be a beginner
• Where to start after years off the ridiculously-small-first-goal method 

…

Episode Links: 

Slow-cooked Mexican Beef: watch me make it at https://www.instagram.com/reels/DQBs-k8kgH2/

Shop Health Journals: https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au/collections/health-diaries 

The 2027 Planner Collection is now live, and selling fast! Lock in your favourite planner before they’re gone: https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au/collections/planners

…

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women. 

…

Let’s Hang:

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up        

Steph Pase on Instagram:  @stephpase_         

Steph Pase on Youtube:  @stephpase.                

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners    

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”:    Penguin Books Australia 

Steph’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Spring starts this week, which means the annual panic is about to begin. And I've had a run of questions lately about my gym routine. What I eat, how I train, how I actually stay consistent.

 

That episode is coming next Monday. This week you're getting the part that makes it make sense.

 

Because it's so easy to look at someone now and assume they've always been this way. Naturally disciplined. A morning person. Someone who genuinely enjoys a vegetable. I was none of those things.

 

There was a period where the only liquids I drank were Coke or beer. Maccas for breakfast, pub lunch every single day, and I put on 25 kilos in twelve months.

 

By the end of this you'll understand why every health kick you've ever started fell over around week three, and why it had nothing to do with discipline.

 

This is for you if:

• You've started again on a Monday more times than you can count

• You've hit a goal weight before and somehow felt worse, not better

• You're waiting to feel motivated enough to begin

• You've decided everyone else was just born with more willpower than you

 

In this episode I get into:

• How I gained 25kg in a year, what my life actually looked like, and the moment that stopped me

• Losing all of it, and the habits I quietly swapped it for on the way down

• Getting the abs, hitting the goal weight, and being more miserable than I'd ever been

• The breaking point where I worked out none of it was worth it

• What it actually took to make this a lifestyle instead of a punishment I kept restarting

 

Next Monday: Part 2, the actual routine. What I do now, what I eat, and how it stays consistent.

 

Support: this episode discusses disordered eating. If you or someone you love needs support, Butterfly Foundation is at butterfly.org.au or 1800 33 4673, and Lifeline is 13 11 14.

 

The Steph Pase 2027 Planner Collection is live now. Blush, Blush + Black, Berry and Blue, across Signature, Daily, Business, Teacher and Pocket. Shop it at https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au

 

If this one hits, there's a lot more of this story in my book, Mastering My Messy Life. The parts I wasn't ready to say out loud on a podcast in 2023 are in there.

• Penguin Books Australia: https://www.penguin.com.au/books/mastering-my-messy-life-9781761349256

• Paperback on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4uL4X26

• Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3NTTQn5

 

Follow Stephing Up

I'm Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that's messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn't go to plan. We'll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning. So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we're Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women.

 

Let's Hang:

• Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up

• Steph Pase on Instagram: @stephpase_

• Steph Pase on YouTube: @stephpase

• Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners

• Shop Steph's book "Mastering my Messy Life": Penguin Books Australia

• Steph's Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you’ve made it here, you’ve probably tried about 14 planners before this, and you’re wondering if this is the year one will actually stick. Funnily enough, as the owner of a planner brand, I can relate. I spent a lifetime failing at planning. And that’s why I finally designed to create one that worked with my brain, not against it.

This is for you if:

• You've got a beautiful planner in a drawer with eleven months of blank pages behind a very good January
• You keep waiting for a Monday, or a first-of-the-month, or a new year to start
• You've decided you're just not a planner person, and you'd quite like to be wrong about that

In this episode I break down:

• Why you actually stopped using your planner: it isn't forgetting, it's avoidance, and where the shame comes from
• Be messy in it: why being scared to write in your planner defeats the entire point
• Don't wait until Monday: starting mid-week, using blank days as brain dumps, and using motivation the moment it shows up
• Habit stacking for planning: attaching your planner to breakfast, the school run, or anything you already do daily
• Two daily check-ins: two minutes morning and night, and why a closed planner is an invisible planner
• Top three and quick three: how to halve your to-do list, plus the time log that stops you underestimating tasks
• A type A brain in a type B body: the mismatch that made twenty years of planners fail

 

…

The Steph Pase 2027 Planner Collection goes live this week! Presale orders open at 7pm AEST, Friday 28 August. Join the waitlist now for a 30 min head start on launch night: https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au/collections/planners

…

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women. 

…

Let’s Hang:

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up        

Steph Pase on Instagram:  @stephpase_         

Steph Pase on Youtube:  @stephpase.                

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners    

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”:    Penguin Books Australia 

Steph’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if getting organised has less to do with discipline and more to do with making fewer decisions? If your brain feels like it has 47 tabs open at all times, you keep running out of toilet paper, and you’re still doing everything manually, this episode is for you.

Steph breaks down the systems and shortcuts she uses to make life run more smoothly. Because the goal isn't to become more productive. It's to free up your brain from all those tiny things you constantly have to remember.

In this episode:

• How to automate household essentials and subscriptions
• Setting up automatic bank transfers and savings accounts
• Creating a stash of cards, gifts and wrapping supplies for last-minute occasions
• Using iPhone Shortcuts to automate everyday tasks
• Smart lights and automating family bedtime routines
• Scheduling your robot vacuum
• Creating pre-set grocery lists in Woolworths and Coles
• Saving money with Everyday Rewards and ShopBack
• How Steph uses AI to reduce her mental load
• Why systems, not discipline, are the secret to feeling more organised

…

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women. 

…

Let’s Hang:

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up        

Steph Pase on Instagram:  @stephpase_         

Steph Pase on Youtube:  @stephpase.                

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners    

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”:    Penguin Books Australia 

Steph’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we're diving into one of the biggest things that can hold us back from becoming the person we want to be... our own self-talk. I've picked out some of my favourite moments from past episodes. Whether it's unrealistic expectations, fear of failure, or simply getting stuck in the same negative thought patterns, sometimes the voice that's sabotaging us the most is the one inside our own head.

In this episode I share:

Are you an asshole to yourself? A reality check. Have you ever stopped to think about whether you're actually being way too hard on yourself?

Let’s get over your fear of failing together: How unrealistic expectations and negative self-talk can quietly creep into our everyday lives.

Can your thoughts really change your life: Exploring the connection between our thoughts, our habits and the stories we tell ourselves every single day.

…

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women. 

…

Let’s Hang:

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up        

Steph Pase on Instagram:  @stephpase_         

Steph Pase on Youtube:  @stephpase.                

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners    

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”:    Penguin Books Australia 

Steph’s Amazon shop: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Decluttering sounds simple—until you’re standing in front of a bursting wardrobe or a drawer you can’t open without something falling out. Then the overwhelm hits, it all feels too hard, and you just… give up. The biggest mistake people make is trying to declutter everything at once, without a system or clear decision-making rules.

In this best-of episode I’m revisiting three of your favourite Stephing Up episodes, packed with simple decluttering strategies you can start using straight away. 

In this episode I share:

• 3 steps from Chaos to Clarity
• Why decluttering can feel so hard, and how to let go of your belongings.
• Practical tips to maintain your organised home… and stay sane!

Your Decluttering Guide

Download your free decluttering workbook + 30-day Declutter Challenge here:  https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au/pages/30-day-declutter-challenge 

…

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women. 

…

Let’s Hang:

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up        

Steph Pase on Instagram:  @stephpase_         

Steph Pase on Youtube:  @stephpase.                

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners    

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”:    Penguin Books Australia 

Shop Steph’s Amazon shop

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I hate housework. I'm an absolute mess by nature, and I have been my entire life. The only reason my house functions is that somewhere along the way I stopped trying to fix myself and started building the house around the person I actually am.

Because everyone thinks organised people are disciplined. I'm not organised because I'm disciplined. I'm organised because I know exactly how useless I am at the tired end of the day... and I plan for her.

These are my actual top five home organisation hacks after ten years of being the organisation girl online. Every tip is Kmart-level cheap, fast to set up, and has survived two kids and an ADHD brain.

This episode is for you if:

• You're convinced you just need "more discipline" and then your house will finally stay tidy
• The floordrobe, the paper pile and the mystery fridge leftovers are all personally attacking you
• You want systems that survive kids, work and an ADHD brain... not a Pinterest pantry

In this episode I break down:

• The wear-again hook: end the floordrobe with a two-second home for worn-but-not-dirty clothes
• Family documents organisation: the viral suspension file box (passports, birth certificates, insurance... one findable spot)
• Kids artwork storage: one file per year per kid + the guilt-free artwork cull
• The catch-all basket system: one per person + our BBB rule (bedrooms, bathrooms, basket)
• Caddies for everything: morning, night, tan, makeup + the kids' hair caddy going 8 years strong
• The ‘Use Me First’ fridge shelf: the food waste hack worth ~$1,500 a year
• The 3 Doable Home rules: decide once · one motion · in sight or it doesn't exist

…

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women. 

…

Let’s Hang:

Submit your Hot Mess Hotline question here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeUnWTcPntVMCQrdu2wSFqFHEnQkggznr_23Ux9zDBNvlh78g/viewform?usp=publish-editor 

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up        

Steph Pase on Instagram:  @stephpase_         

Steph Pase on Youtube:  @stephpase.                

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners    

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”:    Penguin Books Australia 

Steph’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mid-year reset for messy minds: a doable life audit, goals check-in + my 3-day reset plan. Potato day included.

It's July. I don't know how that happened either, and I'd like to lodge a formal complaint. I've been doing this reset for years, and the messy-minds version is deliberately simple. Because if you're anything like me (ADHD, seventeen tabs open in my brain, big plans in January), you've probably tried one of those intense mid-year overhauls before. You do step one and then you bail. This one is different. You can do the whole thing listening to the podcast in the car. 

This is for you if:

• It's somehow July and you can't point at what the first six months even were
• Your January goals are sitting in a notes app, quietly judging you
• Every mid-year reset you've tried was so intense you did step one and bailed

In this episode:

• Mid-year review questions: the 7 questions I journal every July (including the one that stings... how much fun did you have?)
• Life audit made easy: 6 areas rated 1 to 5 — no wheel of life, no colouring in
• Start / Stop / Step / Stick With: the habits audit that actually changes something
• Goals check-in: the sunk cost fallacy + why your brain keeps you "safe" from your own goals
• The 3-day reset to book this month: mini reset day, get-shit-done day, potato day
• Routine rebuild: the bookends rule + the high-energy / low-energy versions

…

Episode links:

Download your Reset workbook: https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au/blogs/news/stephing-up-podcast-is-back

Hear the 3-day Reset Itinerary in S2, Ep1, Master Your Mess In 3 Days: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/im-back-master-your-mess-in-3-days/id1713434054?i=1000755432196

Hear the Routine Review in S2, Ep 6: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/when-you-dont-even-recognise-yourself-how-i-got-my-spark-back/id1713434054?i=1000762279899 

…

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women. 

…

Let’s Hang:

Submit your Hot Mess Hotline question here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeUnWTcPntVMCQrdu2wSFqFHEnQkggznr_23Ux9zDBNvlh78g/viewform?usp=publish-editor 

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up        

Steph Pase on Instagram:  @stephpase_         

Steph Pase on Youtube:  @stephpase.                

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners    

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”:    Penguin Books Australia 

Steph’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.