Still A Part of Us: A podcast about pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and infant loss

Paris and Winter talk about the helpful things people have said and done since the death of Drexton, Paris's son who died at 6 months old due to an undiagnosed atrial septal defect (ASD). 

DONATE $5 (aka "buy us a coffee/hot cocoa") to support the continued production of these stories. We appreciate all the help toward production and hosting costs. 

Or if you want to purchase an "Always a Part of Us" Legacy Gift for $20, you'll be providing to one of these families that shares their story, full transcriptions, mp3s, and mp4s of the recordings of their baby's birth story and advice episodes for their family history records. You will also get a shout-out on an upcoming episode. Thank you! Donate: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

SUBSCRIBE to our podcast Still A Part of Us, wherever you find podcasts.

Links (some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you): Website: http://stillapartofus.com/ Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

#stillbirthstory #stillborn #stillbornstory #birthstory #infantloss #infantdeath #babydeath #stillmychild #podcast  #birthstories #babyloss #mybabydied #bereavedmother #bereavedfather #infantlossawareness #dadsgrievetoo #mamasgrief #pals #childloss #lifeafterloss #saytheirnames #babylossawareness #breakingthesilence #grievingmom #grievingdad #bereavedparents #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth

Paris and Winter talk about the beautiful life of Drexton, who died at 6 months old due to an undiagnosed atrial septal defect (ASD). Paris tells of the relative ease of the pregnancy, and having to have an emergency cesarean and finally bringing home her little bundle of joy. Paris tells Winter about finding a nanny when she went back to work and the tragic events that lead to her rushing to the hospital and finding her son on life support. Paris mournfully retells the events of being told that Drexton has severe brain damage and her having to choose to let her son go. She talks about organizing with her hospital to have Drexton be an organ donor and the continuation of this sweet little boy in blessing others with life.

DONATE $5 (aka "buy us a coffee/hot cocoa") to support the continued production of these stories. We appreciate all the help toward production and hosting costs. 

Or if you want to purchase an "Always a Part of Us" Legacy Gift for $20, you'll be providing to one of these families that shares their story, full transcriptions, mp3s, and mp4s of the recordings of their baby's birth story and advice episodes for their family history records. You will also get a shout-out on an upcoming episode. Thank you! Donate: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

SUBSCRIBE to our podcast Still A Part of Us, wherever you find podcasts.

Links (some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you): Website: http://stillapartofus.com/ Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Mom Music: "Flickering Flame" by Josh Woodward. Free download: http://joshwoodward.com/​​

#stillbirthstory #stillborn #stillbornstory #birthstory #infantloss #infantdeath #babydeath #stillmychild #podcast  #birthstories #babyloss #mybabydied #bereavedmother #bereavedfather #infantlossawareness #dadsgrievetoo #mamasgrief #pals #childloss #lifeafterloss #saytheirnames #babylossawareness #breakingthesilence #grievingmom #grievingdad #bereavedparents #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth

Elizabeth and Winter talk about what has help after the loss of Lael, who was stillborn due to a subchorionic hemorrhage at 19 weeks. Elizabeth talks about finding out about using a saline solution to preserve Lael and how that helped her and her family admire their son and brother a little longer. Elizabeth talks about how her faith has helped her put this loss into an eternal perspective and how that has helped her to mourn, but not be lost. 

DONATE $5 (aka "buy us a coffee/hot cocoa") to support the continued production of these stories. We appreciate all the help toward production and hosting costs. 

Or if you want to purchase an "Always a Part of Us" Legacy Gift for $20, you'll be providing to one of these families that shares their story, full transcriptions, mp3s, and mp4s of the recordings of their baby's birth story and advice episodes for their family history records. You will also get a shout-out on an upcoming episode. Thank you! Donate: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

SUBSCRIBE to our podcast Still A Part of Us, wherever you find podcasts.

Links (some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you): Website: http://stillapartofus.com/ Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

#stillbirthstory #stillborn #stillbornstory #birthstory #infantloss #infantdeath #babydeath #stillmychild #podcast  #birthstories #babyloss #mybabydied #bereavedmother #bereavedfather #infantlossawareness #dadsgrievetoo #mamasgrief #pals #childloss #lifeafterloss #saytheirnames #babylossawareness #breakingthesilence #grievingmom #grievingdad #bereavedparents #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth

Today, we’re joined by an incredible guest, Elizabeth, who has experienced unimaginable heartbreak—11 losses. Through her strength and resilience, Elizabeth is here to share her journey, offering hope and comfort to others who may be navigating a similar journey.

Elizabeth and her husband, Jacob, are parents to a big family, including six living children—all whose names begin with “L.” Elizabeth is a homeschooling mom, a church pianist, and leads a children’s music class at church. Jacob works as a truck driver and preacher, having served in ministry for over a year at the time of this recording.

In this episode, we are focusing on the story of one child in particular, Lael. Elizabeth shares the story of Lael, who was stillborn at 19 weeks due to complications with the placenta. She opens up about her journey of multiple losses before Lael, finding a compassionate OBGYN, and reflects on the day she gave birth to Lael.

Some highlights from our conversation with Elizabeth include:

• Elizabeth’s gratitude for her six living children and the grief from her losses
• Pregnancy, early ultrasounds, and the process of navigating healthcare after multiple miscarriages
• The emotions around her diagnosis and her family’s response to bringing Lael home
• How Elizabeth leaned into her faith, trusting God’s plan, and finding strength in His presence
• The difficulty of grieving privately and holding space for her other children

Hearing Elizabeth’s journey is both heart-wrenching and inspiring. I hope this episode encourages you to honor your own healing process and to lean on loved ones and community for support during challenging times.

“She said, ‘It looks like you're out of the woods,’ and I honestly believed that with all my heart––that everything had been fine, that God was just going to allow that to be a trying of faith on my part, and that was going to be all it was, and I was going to have a healthy baby, and everything was going to be fine” – Elizabeth (22:53)

“And even though the Lord was like, am I not enough, in that moment, He still was faithful to give me a verse, because in that same chapter, it says it is God that girth me with strength and make it my way perfect. And so he was just reminding me, I'm going to be your strength in this.” – Elizabeth (1:12:16)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-have-learned-how-to-notice-when-someone-is-hurting/id1473594556?i=1000675489519

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs. 

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support! 

YOUTUBE: 

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

Melissa’s daughter, Patricia, was born 16 years ago. Tragically, due to a cord accident, Patricia did not survive. Though it’s been 16 years, Melissa continues to not only remember, but celebrate her daughter’s life.

In this episode, Melissa shares her journey of remembrance and grief and we discuss the importance of understanding that these heartbreaking situations are not your fault.

Highlights from our conversation with Melissa:

• Coping with the loss of her daughter, Patricia

• Her children’s connection to their sister

• Helpful coping mechanisms and the importance of routine

• Ways Melissa keeps Patricia’s memory alive

• The different ways people experience grief

• Melissa’s mental and emotional journey during subsequent pregnancies

Whether it’s been six months or 16 years since the loss of a child, grief can resurface on birthdays or even in everyday moments. You may catch yourself wondering “What would they be doing now?” or “What would they look like?” The grief is always there in some way, but hearing others’ stories can bring comfort and we hope Melissa’s story brings you that sense of understanding and connection.

“In the moment of holding her and spending a little bit of time with her, I tried to enjoy it, and it was good–I held it together pretty well after, until that night...” – Melissa (1:48)

“I always had it in the back of my mind that, you know, something would go wrong, that it could happen again. And that was just always something that stayed with me.” – Melissa (9:12)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/she-had-a-full-head-of-dark-hair-a/id1473594556?i=1000671902845

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs. 

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support! 

YOUTUBE: 

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

 Being a young mom of two is both beautiful and challenging. But when you become pregnant and experience constant morning sickness throughout the entire pregnancy––that adds another level of difficulty.

In this episode, our guest, Melissa, shares the moments leading up to the birth of her baby girl, Patricia, who was stillborn at 36 weeks due to a pinched cord. Even though this happened over 16 years ago, Melissa’s love for Patricia has only grown, just like any mother’s love for her child.

Highlights from our conversation with Melissa:

• The challenges of morning sickness

• Navigating pregnancy and early appointments

• The third trimester and an unusual, concerning strong kick

• Time spent with Patricia after her birth

• The emotional impact of funeral arrangements

Melissa’s story is a powerful reminder of love, support, and the journey of healing and this conversation truly highlights the bond between a mother and her child and the resilience that comes in the face of unimaginable loss.

“They left me in the labor and delivery room, so it was like I was able to hear the other babies. And then that is when I, once everyone left, is when I started crying. They had to give me something to sleep because, you know, here are all the other babies, and I don’t have mine, and all I had was a stuffed animal.” – Melissa (31:07) 

“Even though I know it's not my fault, you know, I would think, like, what did I do wrong?” – Melissa (31:35)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/16-years-of-remembrance-melissas-journey-with/id1473594556?i=1000672862574

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs. 

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support! 

YOUTUBE: 

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

Nothing can prepare you for navigating life after the stillbirth of your child. My guest, Veronika, shares her experience of grieving her son, Benjamin, whose cause of death is unknown. She opens up about the comfort she found in community support, the challenges of loss, and the words that have been both helpful and hurtful along the way.

In this episode, Veronika reflects on the church’s compassion and support that surrounded her and her husband, Scott, during their grief. She also discusses what helped, what hurt, and how each of them processed their loss in unique ways.

Highlights from our conversation with Veronika:

• The emotional impact of not knowing the cause of Benjamin’s passing

• Why grieving a child is different from other types of loss

• The importance of self-compassion and resisting self-blame

• Ways Veronika and Scott supported one another 

• Finding comfort in hearing others’ stories of loss

Veronika’s story is a reminder of the unique ways each person grieves. Her journey sheds light on the importance of self-compassion, community, and openhearted support from loved ones. Through shared stories and compassionate listening, healing becomes possible.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-had-just-heard-his-heartbeat-a-mothers-story/id1473594556?i=1000670284332

“There’s no exact reason why, and you kind of want to have that, because that could, I feel like, help you in a lot of ways to process and grieve. Your mind just wants to know why and what went wrong.” – Veronika (01:23)

“But when people from your church family tell you, like, ‘This was the Lord’s will,’ and ‘Everything, you know, works out,’ that’s not what you want to hear at that moment. You need to find that out for yourself, not somebody on the outside, or someone who’s never gone through it trying to encourage you.” – Veronika (22:12)

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs. 

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support! 

YOUTUBE: 

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/ Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

Hours after hearing her son’s strong heartbeat at a final checkup, Veronika received the devastating news that her sweet Benjamin had passed away. Looking back on her challenging pregnancy, Veronika shares the heartbreak of losing Benjamin at 40 weeks, with the cause of death unknown, and the impact it has had on her life.

In this episode, Veronika opens up about her pregnancy, finding a new OB-GYN, and hearing Benjamin’s heartbeat only to be told he had passed.

Highlights from our conversation with Veronika:

• The emotional impact of the ultrasound and fears that something was wrong

• The overwhelming emotions and confusion surrounding her experience

• Receiving support from her church community

• Challenges with funeral home arrangements

• Allowing her other children to grieve and how they helped her through the loss

Veronika’s story is a reminder of the different ways each person grieves. Her story shines a light on the importance of self-compassion, community, and getting support from loved ones.

"She said, 'Mommy, I'm very sorry Benjamin didn't get to know you. You're a great mommy, and he didn't get to know how good you are.' And that was just the absolute sweetest thing." – Veronika (17:49)

“I didn't scream or cry—I just shut down. I wanted to be left alone. I was really irritated by all the staff coming in, and, you know, you still had to deliver that baby, so you can't just get up and go home. You still have to go through all of that.” – Veronika (40:55)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/since-my-baby-passed-powerful-life-lessons-from-a/id1473594556?i=1000671153704

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs. 

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support! 

YOUTUBE: 

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

While at least 25% of stillbirths are preventable, stillbirth is almost never linked to parental behavior. Still, parents often blame themselves, wondering, “Should I have done this?” or thinking, “I shouldn’t have done that.” It’s a natural response––it's just what humans do. But families should be reassured: stillbirth is almost never linked to the behavior of the parents.

This is why we’re so honored to interview Dr. Bob Silver and Sarah Lopez, MHA, MPH, CPH, from the University of Utah Hospital and the Stillbirth Research Program at the School of Medicine.

In this episode, we discuss the research they’re doing in stillbirth detection and prevention, as well as their efforts to set up clinics and programs nationwide to better support at-risk mothers and families.

Some highlights from our conversation with Dr. Bob Silver and Sarah Lopez:

• Dr. Bob Silver’s expertise in high-risk pregnancies, stillbirth, and placental issues

• Sarah Lopez’s impactful research on stillbirth

• Understanding stillbirth and common misconceptions

• The roles of preventability and parental blame

• Global trends and ongoing challenges in stillbirth research

This is an important discussion about the realities of stillbirth and the work being done behind the scenes for families. Thank you for joining us in today’s conversation!

“People blame themselves and they wonder, “it's because I was stressed” or “I exercised,” or “I had sex” or “I had a beer,” or “I should have done this,” or “I shouldn't have done that.” and parents should really be reassured that stillbirth is almost never caused by any behavior––or failure of behavior––on the part of the parents.” – Dr. Bob Silver (6:35)

“I think dads get a little overlooked. Unfortunately, while we're focusing on mom’s physical health and well-being, dad is sometimes the silent, strong one, trying to keep it together for mom, so making sure that they have resources, too, is really helpful.” – Sarah Lopez (44:34)

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs. 

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support! 

YOUTUBE: 

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

They say time heals all wounds, and for today’s guest, Scott, that’s been true. Although everyone’s journey through grief is different, as time passes, the process of healing can start.

In this episode, Scott shares the story of losing his son, Benjamin, due to a single umbilical artery. Scott talks with Lee about how he and his family found support from a local pastor even though they weren’t from the area. He also opens up about the challenges that grief can bring to a marriage and the importance of leaning on each one another. 

Some highlights from our conversation with Scott:

• Support from the church––receiving meals and prayers

• How grief impacts marriages and why leaning on each other is key

• Grief is both a personal and shared journey

• Coping mechanisms and healing

• A call for men to speak openly about their feelings

While grief is personal, Scott highlights how it is also a shared human experience and we don’t have to compare our pain to anyone else’s. Grief may feel isolating at times, but with support and time, wounds do heal.

“What I realized in the moment since then is that I have to think about it in small pockets, you know? If I want to think about my son, I know that it's going to set the tone for the rest of the day.” — Scott (07:54)

“Men like to bottle things up. And, you know, I had heard that there were some who had turned to suicide, which is unfortunate. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem." — Scott (10:40)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-were-excited-to-meet-you-a-fathers-stillbirth-story/id1473594556?i=1000667944403

By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs. 

Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus

Thank you for your support! 

YOUTUBE: 

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus

THE PODCAST:

Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.