Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

Chapter 144 - Difappointing Fcotch Thiftle. It's 6.14pm on Wednesday 5th July 2023 and there's a chance of rain and petrichor, but Richard has had one soaking this week, and is prepared to risk it to emulate a young Theresa May. And he may be quickly out of breath, but he has a new energy that has escaped him for the rest of the year, so it's the partially long way round today. He will teach you how to navigate a pathless Stocean and also the danger of shortening your borders and there's a surprise and a moral at the stone pole (buy tickets to RHLSTP to counteract the curse - http://richardherring.com/rhlstp). It's a great ep to sleep to and nothing really got lost when the recording got paused, so all is as it should be.

Chapter 143 Fcythe - It's about 6.15pm on 28th June 2023 and Rich is out for his daily podcast. Hard to believe he's kept this up all year. But for the first time you can find out how to apply for an envelope of his gametes. Plus some embarrassment for Wolfie. And a new bone based measuring system. The recording went wrong and Richard attempted to recreate what was lost but with limited success. Still his garden is looking nice.

Chapter 142: Fhredded Wheat. It's 5.01pm on 25th May 2023 and there's only 7 months to non-stone Christmas, but there are no holidays for stone clearers and this chapter gives those of you who judge the dead something to think about when it comes to the scales of justice. Also explains how difficult it is to clear stones when faced with a beautiful if fleeting, sea of wheat. But the biggest mystery is, what will this chapter be called. Not for you here in the future, but for stupid old Richard Herring, stuck as he will be forever more in this podcast, in a past that has no answers.

Nettlef Nettlef Nettlef Nettlef Nettlef Nettlef Nettlef Nettlef. It's just before 5pm on 19th May and it's time for an evening stone clear for a very tired boy. And it's not unlike that poem by Tennyson but more nettles and fewer cannons. There's plenty of tips for dealing with the dry ground and the high crops and a message from one of the many centenarian listeners. What more do you want? More nettles?

Chapter 140 Nurfery Rhymef. It's 9.29am on 7th May 2023 and the bunting is flying for King Charles the Turd. Richard has picked up another bug and the stocean is as sodden as an actual ocean, but stone clearing must be done. Richard ponders what the cuffs of trousers are called (it's cuffs if you're interested) and speculates about the genitalia of our new queen (maybe twice depending on when the tape went wrong) and sings a stone pole nursery rhyme which will be familiar to anyone who isn't a millennium. This podcast recognises no organic king, only the stone king.

Chapter 139, Goffamer. It's 8:15am on 29th April and another day of stone clearing begins. Richard tries to encourage his many teenage fans to enjoy their lives whilst they are young and tries to sort out whether you need to clear teeth from the stocean, plus experiences one of the many dangers of nature that can afflict the inattentive stone clearer. He cheats in the game of human cheff and is nearly discovered at the last minute, but otherwise it's a run of the mill, slightly sexy, stone clear.

Chapter 138, Ye Long Way, Wrong Way Round. It's 17.25 on 19th April 2023 and The Stone Ftafi play a move that turns the whole stone clearing world back to front and upside down and sends Richard dizzy and thinking life may be about to end. Richard is a maverick and breaks a lot of rules this evening and lets slip about his fecret cairn that can be seen from metres away. It's the difficult ftone clearing feafon of fpring so there is some invaluable advice on how to tell stones from plants. Don't miss it.

Brown Fingerf. It's nearly 6pm on 12th April 2023 and the daily 2023 podcasts continue with a classic, with some inter-species bodily fluid swapping, the importance of finding a window in the weather, an alliterative Morlock and how to spot a fake stone clearer. Also there are some stones cleared.

Chapter #136: Burrowing Wolvef and the Daffodilf of Fpring. It's 8.15am on 25th March 2023 and the 2023 daily stone clearing podcasts continue. Fpring hath Fprung, but it only shows the ridiculously of petty organic material and how little we think of our mothers. Plus how to cope with the changing temperatures at different points of the year and why you mustn't (and Richard hasn't) put stones up your bottom.

Fly Tipper. It's just after lunch on 3rd February 2023 and Richard is upset by what people have put at the edge of his beautiful field. Who would just chuck stuff around willy nilly like that? Today you will find out about the beautiful reminders that stones leave of themselves when they are taken from the field and how you can make more stones out of them. Plus requests for 24 hr a day stone clearing fall on deaf ears. Hopefully Wolfie is OK, but you also get quite a vivid description of one or her movements.