Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

Chapter 124 - Ftone Halloween. It's 8:14am on the 25th August 2022 and after a month of stone rest, Herring is back. Will the Ftocean be clear of crops and if so what wonders shall Herring find? Remember size and hardness is not important in any way, but you always remember the particularly hard ones, plus a stone the size of a child's head, but which child and just general excitement to be back here. The rain will not dampen the fire in stone clearer's heart.

Chapter 123 - Thiftle Be Ye Laft One of Ye Fummer. It's 5:23pm on 26th July 2022 and the sun is burning hotter than it looks like it'll be and a dehydrated Richard Herring barely manages to clear a stone, let alone talk about it. The thiftles cheer him on his way to Fcotchland and the bramblef magically appear for to give him fuccour. If the Stone Gods will it then we will be back in the autumn for the next infinity chapters of what is still the third most successful stone clearing podcast in the world (excluding New Zealand).

Chapter 122 - Daify Duke. It's the evening time of 20th July 2022 and after a hiatus the stone clearing podcast is back to tell you how to clear stones when the earth's vagina is baked hard and the crops are thick. In the heat of the summer this is an exceptional sexual chapter and must not be listened to children or adults who don't like to listen to a man talking about being sucked off by stones. Plus the terrible fate of the stones that miss the stone poll. And Rich is nearly caught in the act by his wife. It was worth the wait. Sorry to the thousands of you who have emailed in asking where the podcast had gone.

Chapter 121 - Fometimef ye ftonef are Filent. It's about 5.15pm on 7th June 2022 and it's been a month since the last podcasted stone clear, so we have to feel our way back together. Stripped back to basics, fighting some of the most difficult conditions known to stone clearers and seeing the sprouting of this year's poppies and thistles that come from where stone friends and enemies fell. It's certainly not insane, what's going on here. That's all that I know.

Chapter 120 Moifture - It's before 8am on the 4th May 2022 and Richard is off for a second crack at Chapter 120, the first having been recorded from inside his pocket (though attached at the end of this podcast for completists). Rich gets one foot from a possum-playing rabbit, sees a spooky tree, pontificates on water, the enemy of stone and whether he'd rather have sex with a mermaid or a siren. The lost podcast is the best one ever - see what snippets you can pick up from the pocket record. It's like a faded gospel found in a cave.

Chapter 119 - Horfe. It's just after 8am on the 8th April 2022 and luckily Richard knows the facts about the sun so isn't scared that it's behind clouds. He has discovered strange markings in the crops that might indicate a lost stone clearing community and for the first time in ages he's gone all Charley Boorman and is taking the long way round. The Stone Stasi are quiet, perhaps a bit quiet and then BOOM they hit you with the unexpected. Plus lots of tips about border stones.

Chapter 118 - Fimile. It's 5.45pm on 31st March 2022 and the ftone gods are fending more terrible weather to blight Richard's attempts. But what is the snow like? There are some talking stones and a bit about daffodils. And another visit from a mysterious figure.

Chapter One One Feven - I'm Not Faying I'm Jefuf. It's 7.45am on the 9th March 2022 and there's a little bit of a wind going on and Wolfie is making enemies and friends, as we return to the Ftone Ocean for another important chapter in the audio binder that is Stone Clearing. Rich reveals news about lost Fhakefpeare plays and gofpels - how does he know so much about it? I can't say. The cairn that never grows is back and still no bigger and the ditch that had so much success with Brexit turns its powers to World War Three. Plus an entitled stone gets on Richard's nerves. Is it the witterings of an old man or the wise words of the fon of Godf?

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Chapter One One Fix - Felfridgef. It's 7.45am on 3rd March 2022 and it's time for a nice quiet stone clear. Why don't we just enjoy the views and have less of the yapping? Some stones are cleared, the main cairn is coming along lovely, look and Rich lets you know what he'd do if he was CEO of various companies.

Chapter 115 - Donald Finden. It's 5.50pm on 20th February 2022 and Richard heads outside and is surprised to see that it's lightly raining. He does not know what is to come. I do not think it is hyperbole to say that what he encounters is as challenging as climbing Everest, but it's been transplanted to the bottom of the Marianas Trench without oxygen or feet. No spoilers but if you are of a nervous disposition or don't want to hear a 54 year-old man calling for his mummy then do not listen to this chapter.