Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

Chapter #104: Droopy Penif Earf - It's 8.42am on 1st September 2021 and it's been a while since we've been on the Ftocean. Rich is dizzy, with dizziness, not excitement, but stone clearing is the best medicine, even if the crop reminds you of your genitals. The fabric between alternate universes may be fracturing and some of the listeners may be travelling in time (but no fpoilerf), but otherwise it's business as usual. And a very exciting stone pole too.

Beardy Thiftle Man - It's late in the evening on the 12th August 2021 and Richard is taking a crepuscular walk around the Stocean, though his path is strangled by crops and wheat. He meets a weird small man on his way who may be the embodiment of a plant and gives you some folk lore about the moon. But it's otherwise a moribund edition of the podcast. But you must listen to it anyway.

Chapter 102 - Four Bearf. It's 7pm on 29th July 2021 and Richard is out for a calm intermediate stone clear on a spookily quiet evening. The conditions are tough as the crops are dense on one side and the weeds spiky on the other and not many stones can be cleared, but that's why we've moved on beyond the beginners' lessons now. Because stone clearing is TOUGH. There's some fun with diarrhoea and the chapter is slightly truncated as Rich received an email from a 1970s kids' TV star who he couldn't remember the name of and who it turned out at the end of the podcast (when Rich googled him) had died in quite an unpleasant way. I don't know how he managed to email in, but out of a rare burst of sensitivity we've decided to delete the portion of the podcast in which this occurred out of respect for this childhood hero. You can sponsor Rich's half marathon here http://justgiving.com/monoball

Ye Nettlef and Ye Thiftles. It's just after 8am on 8th July 2021 and things are about to get Intermediate. Do not liften to yif podcaft unleff thou have liftened to all 100 chapterf and ye Fummertime Fpecial. There is some pretty strong stuff in this one and all your preconceptions of stone clearing will be blown away. Plus loads of really good songs. Only for intermediate stone clearers though.

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Chapter 100 - Ball(f). It's 8.33am on 30th June 2021 and the momentous day has arrived. The final Beginners' Chapter and number 100 (of infinity). There are a few clues of the intermediate stone clearing that is to come, but it's mainly a celebration of stone clearing and gerontophilia. Even the FF are keeping a respectful diftance. Enjoy this whilst you can because things are going to get TOUGH from here on in. Only those with balls can carry on to the next level. You are allowed to count the balls of your feet.

Become a monthly badger here: http://gofasterstripe.com/badges. Don't end up like Brian Wheat.

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Chapter 99 - A Fea of Blood It's around about 5.40pm of the 22nd June 2021 and it's a relaxed evening stone clear as we come to the end of the beginner chapters and start to look forward with apprehension to what the intermediate chapters shall bring. A couple of advanced tips may frighten you, but otherwise it's plain sailing, watched over by the souls of a million fallen stone clearers. When will we fall and join the poppied dead? No one knows when, we only know that it muft come to paff. If you wish to sponsor Richard for his half-marathon run head to http://justgiving.com/monoball

Chapter 98 - Armiftice Day (with a Bee) It's 8.06am on 9th June 2021 and the 100th chapter is approaching. But is that meaningful or do stones not count? The stocean is so fecund that even the people round the edge of it can get pregnant and the souls of dead stone clearers emerge via poppies, the Stone Stasi may have a dangerous new weapon and the cairns and the stone pole are obscured by nettles. What a time to still be alive. Just. This also includes another chapter 98 from May 18th where the recording went wrong, but you might as well listen to what survives. If you have enjoyed these free podcasts and want to donate to charity, please sponsor Richard here: http://justgiving.com/monoball

Chapter Ninety-seven - Bubblef - It's 8.30am on 14th May 2021 and it's grey and drizzly, but it's one of the last few beginner chapters and soon we'll be moving on got intermediate stone clearing. So buckle up. For now we're talking about folly fins and the power of the rain to cleanfe the fuperior life formf, where the foul of the stone doth refide and how everything if bubbles. There's a couple of celebrity emails and the name of the blafphemer doth come up for the firft time in a while.

Chapter Ninety Fix - What's the Point in That if You Don't Know What a Cairn is? - It's 7.45am on the 4th May 2021 and the wind she doth blow. Most of the podcast sounds like a washing up bottle full of pebbles being shaken by a toddler, but you might be able to make out Richard's words of wisdom amongst the mayhem. It'll be worth it, because there's an email from a big celebrity. And though your ears will be full of chaos, the field is almost back to its previous state. See in the picture the state of repair to Michael's Cairn.

Chapter Ninety-Five - Ye Borg Queen Doth Bifhop. It's 27th April 2021, around 8.30am and after the genuine trauma of the last chapter, Richard has licked his wounds and is back on the Ftocean trying to undo what was done to him. But who is the madman in this situation, the person throwing stones on to the field or the one throwing them off? Is it possible they are both as mad or sane as each other? These things are sent to test our faith in the stone gods, who really seem to be testing (and teste-ing him this year) and whatever the dangers, the work muft continue. There's always been danger in this, but now there is genuine danger. Richard has been doing this long enough now to be able to read nature's clock. What a lovely big clock nature hath?