Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better

Let’s say that you have been working on healing your heart, falling in love with you, and it’s time to start dating again. Then, all of a sudden, some guy pulls the rug out from under you in a crappy way that you were not expecting. This recently happened to my client Sarah, and when she came to me for coaching, she said she was so sad that her person still isn’t here. Now, coaching can be very nuanced and this episode definitely deals with more advanced coaching and won’t be for everyone. But still, be sure to listen as I share with you how I coached her through this and the next steps I think she should take in order to continue to heal and find her Mr. Right.

Let’s look at this “risky” business of dating. I was inspired to do this episode after a friend recently reached out asking for some dating advice when it comes to a situation where she wasn’t sure if it was worth the risk and it really got me thinking. I think it’s natural to approach our dating lives from the mindset that it’s a risk. But is it really? Of course there are situations where we may be in danger or at risk, but when we are in the mindset of dating being risky, is it really, or, are we just afraid of gettin hurt? In this episode, let’s look at the idea of riskyness and how you are thinking about your dating life so that you have aligned thoughts and can call in the love of your life.

If you are listening to this podcast, I’ll bet you have had this thought that if you don’t find him, your ideal person, your life will be miserable. This is a belief that I carried for a very long time, and is something I hear often from my clients. Even if they don’t say it outright, I know that some of my clients believe that can’t be truly happy until their person shows up. My loves, I want you to know that your person is an added bonus, but they can’t fill the void. Only you are responsible for healing your heart and loving the fuck out of you. Take a look at your thoughts that are keeping you from finding him, clean up those thoughts, and deliberately love the fuck out of you. Not only is it possible to love your singledom, but it’s critical to love being single while still calling love in.

In this episode, I do a break down of the conversation that inspired this episode. I share with you the why and the how of the fact that my age, not only does it not bother me, but I love being 41. Your singledom and your age are both neutral circumstances, and not only is it possible to love these things about you, it is possible to love your singledom and to also want to call love in.

I think we’ve all had a moment like this in our dating lives. Let’s say you’re out at a bar and you see some hot guy that looks like he has what you’re looking for, and you’re very next thought is that he must be out of your league and just not interested in you. I know that I had this moment often in my single life before I called in the love of my life, Larry. This thought usually comes up when you haven’t cleaned up your thoughts about you and your past relationships. It may not seem like it, but it is possible to love your singeldom and also want to find your Mr. or Ms. Right. In this episode, let’s take a look at what this thought will create in your dating life, and thoughts that are better suited so that you can fall in love with you and find someone better.

I’m back this week with another fun and light-hearted conversation with my bestie Jamie McKeowen, and this time we’re talking about who pays on a first date. In this era of modern feminism, there are a lot of questions surrounding etiquette on dating, and this of course includes who pays on the first date. We talk about experiences in our dating lives, feminine and masculine energies, investigating your negotiables, and taking a look at your dating deal-breakers.

If you’ve listened to my podcast before, you’ll know that I am in my ideal relationship with the love of my life, Larry. And it’s not just him, he also has four amazing kids and I get to be a part of their lives too. Throughout this relationship, I have talked about this situation in bits and pieces, but I’ve never dedicated a whole episode to what it’s like to date a dad, so that’s what I’m doing this week. And joining me to share her experience of dating a dad is my bestie, Jamie McKeowen. In our conversation, we really focus on our personal experiences, how to navigate dating someone with children, and how you can open yourself up to new possibilities in your dating life as well.

It’s very natural to hold on to past relationships and hold out hope for the future. And we look for examples of other couples as evidence of our desired outcome. This week, let’s talk about this romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, what it takes to make things work with your ex, and who my favorite couple is.

Do you remember that song Cheap Thrills by Sia? This week, let’s look at when we feel those cheap thrills when it comes to hearing about our exes. You may remember from last week’s episode that I was recently triggered when I heard about a recent success he had. And in that episode, we talked about how we process those moments of good that may happen to our exes and what we’re making it mean about us.

Did you catch that? Did you see the two thoughts in the title of this episode? There are two thoughts there: one, that there are “mean guys”, and two, this idea of “winning”. This episode is inspired by something I experienced this week and by the conversations I’ve had with clients. Oftentimes, after a relationship, we may be the ones to be broken hearted or feeling pain, and then we see our exes reaching new levels of success. This can leave you feeling hurt and like there’s nothing good happening for you, especially in the depths of your heartbreak. Let’s take a look at what I believe is the new thought that you should be striving for, and how you can continue to use moments like these in your own journey of healing your heart and finding someone better.