Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better

I’m just going to cut right to the chase here and say, yes, of course relationships take work! The question is, what is the kind of work you are doing, and what kind of relationship are you in? We’ve all heard people say before things like, “relationships shouldn’t be this hard” or “it shouldn’t take this much work”. And in certain contexts, I absolutely agree. In this episode, let’s take a look at different kinds of relationships where it is worth it to put in the work, what kind of work it takes, and the relationships where it’s not worth it. There are going to be hard times in any relationship, but they can be better issues that aren’t as hard when you find your person.

I think it pretty much goes without saying that our past can leave us damaged, especially when it comes to finding love and healing our hearts in preparation for finding our person. With some of my clients, that has led them to approach dating being guarded in fear of getting hurt again. On the other hand, I have seen other clients of mine get really swept up in the giddyness of something new and they have found themselves getting carried away when they needed to be a bit more cautious. In this episode, let’s look at both of these situations, how they affect your dating life, and how you approach dating from a more clear and up-leveled place so that you can really find your person.

Short answer: loving yourself has everything to do with it! This week I am back with another one of my amazing clients, Christine, so that you can hear her experience of going through the group coaching program and the transformation she has gone through. Before she came to me, she had been working with another coach and was listening to this podcast, and was honestly a little nervous about joining a group program. However, no matter what else she was going through, or where she might have gotten stuck, she kept showing up to get coached.

As the world continues to open up and I’m showing up socially more and more, I’ve been really struck by the language I’m using in social situations. Over the years I have done a lot of work to own myself and show up as my full authentic self. However, recently when I’m making small talk with others I’m finding myself commiserating over complaints, or downplaying who I am, and this isn’t something I want to keep doing. I am proud of what I do and who I am, and I needed this as a reminder to show me that the thoughts I have are important, and they have power.

This episode was inspired by a dear friend of mine who recently told me that she feels like her partner isn’t stepping up to the plate in the way that he once was. She has always been pretty low maintenance in their relationship, and now she’s afraid of needing more from him. But I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to need! It’s ok to have needs and to have certain expectations from our partners. In this episode, I give examples of the kind of needs I feel it’s ok to demonstrate, getting clear on why it’s important to you, and key tools to be sure you get your needs met.

No matter where you are on your heartbreak journey or if you’re on the path to finding the one, Valentine’s Day and all the hoopla around this day can bring up a lot for people. So with that in mind, I wanted to share with you how you can move through it. If you’re having triggers around this day, let’s address it. Valentine’s Day itself is actually a neutral circumstance. It’s your thoughts about it and what you make it mean that can dictate your feelings. But luckily, with coaching tools, you can change your thoughts, and create new feelings. In this episode, I share with you mindset tools that can be used, whether you are reeling from a fresh heartbreak, or if you are dating and looking for the one. Go heal your heart, be the future woman in her ideal relationship, and take care of you. You deserve it!

I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries recently, especially as I learn more about what it means to be a highly sensitive person, and I’m realizing just how important it is to create boundaries in your heartbreak and in your dating life. Truth be told, earlier on in my dating life, it didn’t even occur to me to have boundaries, and if I had, I might have found out earlier on in some relationships that the other person and I weren’t right for each other if I had boundaries.

I know that, for women especially, there is this pressure to settle down and start a family, and that pressure may grow the older you get. I get it! I used to face this same struggle in my dating life when it wasn’t working out, and I just hadn’t found my person yet. And the longer you spend in your dating life without your Mr. or Ms. Right, it may be easy to think about “wasted time” that you spent with the wrong person. I’m going to let you know right off the bat that wasted time is just a thought. The time that you spent in the relationships you were in is a completely neutral circumstance.

In this episode, I share with you some examples of circumstances that have happened as a result of not taking it slowly. I also share with you some of the benefits of dating at a slower pace. I know it can be fun to be swept up in the excitement of something new, but it also might not be serving you to dive in headfirst.