Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better

I see you. You’re really in the thick of it with your heartbreak, and you feel like you’re never going to feel better, or you just can’t imagine a time when you aren’t aching with a broken heart. That’s why this week I am back with another guest and client, Shiva, who is here to share her story of healing her heart. In this episode, you’ll hear all about Shiva’s journey from heartbroken, to being a podcast listener, and then making the jump to being a client in my group program. You’ll also hear about how she really dove in head first to the work, and because of that, how she was able to heal her heart faster than she ever thought possible. Her story is so beautiful and I can’t wait for you to hear it.

This is a topic that I know I’ve talked about across many episodes, but I wanted to set aside an entire episode on settling for crumbs because it’s something that I know I have done, as well as many of my clients. And until you are able to recognize the why and the how, it will just keep repeating itself, which won’t bring you to a happy and fulfilling relationship. One client that I know has dealt with this a lot in her recent dating past is my friend, colleague, and guest coach in my group coaching program, Katie Johnston, who I’ve asked to join me in this episode. Together we talk about what it looks like when we settle for crumbs, why we do it, and what it takes to really break the habit so that you can stop settling and instead, ask for what you need and get it in return.

There are so many times in my past when I was told that I was just too much for someone, particularly in my dating relationships. I have an anxious-attachment style, and my love language is definitely quality time. When I’m with someone, I just want to be with them! But inevitably, it would be too much for whoever I was dating, and they would tell me that they needed space from me, leading me to feel shameful about my needs and needing to spend time with them.

How often have you looked forward to a vacation as a chance to get away from it all and forget about your life for a bit? I recently went on an amazing trip to Cabo San Lucas with my partner Larry, and it got me thinking about what it’s like to be on vacation with a broken heart. I know for many of us, we look forward to these trips as a way to heal us or to just forget about our problems for a while, but when you’re in the thick of a broken heart, it just isn’t that simple. No matter how much healing you do and how secure you are in your ideal relationship, triggers and trauma responses can and will still show up. In this episode, we get clear on our expectations around taking a trip and I share my 5 tips for navigating heartbreak on vacation.

I think it’s natural for us to share things with our loved ones, our wins, our challenges, and even difficulties in our love lives. Sometimes we just really need to vent about something, but what if that venting and sharing is actually doing damage to your relationship or the relationship with your loved ones? There’s a difference between sharing things with a coach and sharing things with your friends and family members, and it can create lasting effects with those you love. In this episode, I talk about who I personally choose to share things with, creating boundaries with my friends and loved ones, and how I coach my clients through challenges and difficulties they are facing in their love lives.

So you’ve healed your heart, fallen in love with you, and you are out there on the dating scene to find your Mr. or Ms. Right. But are you actually ready to find that love? Or, are you telling yourself little white lies about your dating life which might actually be holding you back from finding your person? Let’s take a look at six stories you may be telling yourself which might seem like no big deal, when in fact, they are keeping you in the suffering and from finding love. If you missed last week’s episode, The Lies We Tell Ourselves In Heartbreak, be sure to give that a listen if you are still in your heartbreak and ways you may be holding yourself back.

Here’s the deal. You’re already suffering in your heartbreak, and you may be telling yourself some sneaky little lies to make yourself feel better. But when you tell yourselves these lies, you end up perpetuating the suffering. And not only that, but you’re keeping yourself from becoming the healed version of you that will be able to call in Mr. or Ms. Right. Some of these lies have come up for clients in my group coaching program, and they are things that I have definitely heard other women say. So in this episode, I share with you the five lies you tell yourself in heartbreak, and we dive into how they are holding you back, and the coaching I gave my clients that allowed them to free themselves from heartbreak.

Have you dated someone, or maybe you’re currently dating someone, who just can’t give you what you need or want? Maybe you’ve been going to the hardware store for bread. Or, let’s say you just really need some advice about your relationship so you reach out to friends or a family member, maybe you’ve been going to the hardware store for bread. In this episode, let’s look more at what this means, and how you can go to the right place to get exactly what it is you need.

Let’s say you’re on a fun date, or maybe you’re even spending time with friends and you think, “How can I bottle this moment up so that I can feel access these feelings again later?” This happened with a client recently who wanted to know how she can capture the happiness and good feels in the moment so that when she’s not feeling so good in the future, she can access these feelings again. In this episode, I share with you the coaching I gave her on bottling up those good feels, and how to manage those moments when things aren’t feeling so great so that you can move through them with self-compassion and you can access the good feels again.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’ve all been there before: there’s something we need to do - whether that be to start an uncomfortable conversation, cut contact with an ex, or finally leave a relationship - and we just can’t bring ourselves to do it because it feels so wrong. We know that it’s the right move, but it’s hard to do because it doesn’t feel good. That’s what I’m talking about this week. This episode was inspired by a client in my group coaching program who was facing a situation that just didn’t feel good, and I coached her through taking the steps she needed to take so that she could do the thing she knew she needed to do.