It is easy to get distracted and drift off in one direction a little more than anticipated; sometimes we need to pause and hit the reset button when that happens. Recently, I have been laying it on thick as an ally to my spouse while forgetting about my own needs — not too difficult to do in these crazy times. While I reset, I reshare a talk with my son regarding his perspective about when my spouse came out as transgender. It’s a reminder that things aren’t that complicated and people are people.  

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Meet Jimmy Chen, the founder of Trans Voice Lab that offers online gender affirming voice lessons. Jimmy just released his book titled Owning Your Voice, an introduction to his concept of functional vocal training. He has a large social media following with the voice content he creates.

Follow along with exercises Jimmy shares in this episode and check out the Trans Voice Lab website to learn more about Jimmy, his gender affirming voice lessons, and to purchase his book. 

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• Trans Voice Lab website
• Jimmy Chen's book, eBook, and audiobook 
• Find Jimmy on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook 

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In this episode, meet Renée Yoxon, a gender-affirming voice teacher who has created a suite of online voice courses to help you or the transgender or nonbinary person in your life to feminize, masculinize, or find something in between to shape that preferred this-is-me sound when speaking.

Renée discusses their background, tips for voice health, and not allowing your fears to prevent you from beginning your voice transition journey. They also walk me through a voice exercise that you can find in the freebies section of their website. 

The goal: "there isn't a final goal... really what you're working towards is using your voice in everyday life in a way that doesn't feel like you're thinking about it all the time..."

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• Renée Yoxon's website
• Renée's courses
• Renée's freebies
• Sign up for Renée's newsletter
• Find Renée on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Bluesky

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Two weeks post vocal feminization surgery, we hear what my spouse sounds like as she slowly recovers. She was on vocal rest for the past weeks and we talk about how she communicated, her reasons for opting for vocal surgery, and what she hopes the outcome will be in the months ahead. 

My favorite word in this episode: otolaryngology. Say that ten times.

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• Text-to-speech generator
• Phone app text-to speech generator (Google Play)
• Type of vocal surgery: VFSRAC -- Vocal Fold Shortening and Retrodisplacement Anterior Commissure
• Medical team who performed this surgery

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

On the eve of her vocal feminization surgery, I talk to my spouse about surgeries she has had at this stage of her transition, the surgery decision process, and how she is feeling going into this one. 

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• GLAAD: Transgender Day of Visibility, March 31 
• FOLX: LGBTQ+ health care provider
• HRC: Get the Facts on Gender Affirming Care

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In this episode, I talk to my mom in her eighties about her reaction when I told her that my spouse had come out as transgender.

My favorite quote from our talk: “You’re not the one who has the right to judge.” 

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• American Field Service (AFS)
• Book my parents read: She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders, by Jennifer Finney Boylan
• PFLAG National for friend and family ally support
• PFLAG International for friend and family ally support
• Book I recently read and recommend: Dear Cisgender People: A Guide to Trans Allyship and Empathy, by Kenny Ethan Jones

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Telling your parents that your spouse has come out as transgender can be quite stressful; no two family dynamics are the same. In this episode, I talk to my midwestern, cisgender, former United States Navy officer, highly educated dad in his eighties about his reaction when I told him that my spouse had come out as transgender.

My favorite quote from our talk: “The only change would be our nasty attitude and that just makes no sense.”

FYI: The podcast is now available on YouTube, too. 

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• Book my dad read: She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders, by Jennifer Finney Boylan
• PFLAG National for friend and family ally support
• PFLAG International for friend and family ally support
• Book I recently read and recommend: Dear Cisgender People: A Guide to Trans Allyship and Empathy, by Kenny Ethan Jones

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The news headlines about attempts to erase the transgender community can do a number on us. Partner up, it’s going to be an unpredictable, bumpy ride. Rest when you need to, stay hydrated, and keep being you. Allies, time to step up. 

Trans Lifeline: Resources for Dealing with Post-Election Grief

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• USA Today: Utah bill would ban Pride flags in public schools but allow Nazi flags for educational use
• The Salt Lake Tribune: Utah Republican amends anti-pride flag bill hours after saying Nazi, Confederate flags could be displayed in schools
• NPR: Park Service erases 'transgender' on Stonewall website, uses the term 'LGB' movement
• ABC News: Transgender references removed from Stonewall National Monument website
• Recommended: Erin in the Morning
• Recommended: The Trans Formations Project
• Recommended: The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC
• Recommended groups for cisgender spouses: PFLAG, Reddit, Facebook here and here
• More resources

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Misinformation and fake news are abundant, and knowing what’s real and what’s not can even take the savviest person by surprise. Transgender people are the current target and as the saying goes, repeat a lie enough times and people start to believe it. Let’s change that. In this episode, I share tips and thoughts on how to spot fake news and stop others from spreading it.

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• NBC News: Trans Pilot Shares "Proof of Life" Video...
• Cornell University: Types of False Information
• Adelphi University: Evaluation Tools
• Adelphi University: The CRAAP Test
• National Geographic / Global Digital Citizen Foundation: Critical Thinking Cheatsheet
• L.A. Public Library: How to Talk to Friends and Family Who Spread Misinformation
• Time: Nine Ways to Respond to Political Misinformation
• World Health Organization (WHO): Reporting Misinformation Online
• UC Berkeley Library: List of Fact Checkers
• Special NPR Series: Untangling Disinformation 
• Denver Public Library: Challenge Misinformation: Books for Adults
• Rawson Internet Marketing: Media Literacy, Fact Checking, and Critical Thinking in the Age of Misinformation
• Book: Think Again by Adam Grant 
• Book: Weaponized Lies, How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era by Daniel J. Levitin
• Book: The Demon-Haunted World, Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

It has been three years since my spouse came out to me as transgender. This episode reflects on how the first two years look from here, plus how things are going and where they are headed. 

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.