It is an ongoing calculation to decide when to tell someone new that your spouse is transgender. Everyone in your circle may know, but one still has to decide if it is necessary, if you think your spouse will be okay with it if they're not there, and whether it is even up to your spouse when you feel like it is the right moment to share that piece of information with someone new.

In this episode, my spouse and I discuss a recent situation where we were caught off guard and another where I made the decision to tell someone that she happens to be transgender.

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

I asked my 12-year-old to share his perspective on moving abroad and squeezed out just enough to create a short episode. It is a reminder that kids are resilient and can handle big things as long as there is a support network to lean on — in this case, he has his parents plus family and friends from afar.

There are lots of books, podcasts, resources and groups online to help you and your kids with an overseas move and even more specific to your situation and where you are going -- if you are planning a move, I encourage finding those groups and resources to help make the process feel less daunting.

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• First interview with my son: Perspective from a 10-year-old
• Second interview with my son: A Child's Perspective on FFS

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Trans Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In this episode, my spouse shares her feelings about moving abroad. "We are not chess pieces," she says, regarding the current anti-transgender climate in the US. That says it all.

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• USA Today: Safest States for Gay and Trans People
• Rainbow Railroad
• TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens
• Erin in the Morning: Countries Should Accept Transgender Refugees from the U.S.

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Trans Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

You know how we sometimes dissect our night out on the way home from an event — you think about things you said, what others said, what you would do differently. That's what it feels like I've been doing after living abroad for two months — looking back and wondering if things are as bad as I thought they were, and if we made the right move.

This can't be covered in one episode but let's explore how things are currently looking from here.

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• ACLU: Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures in 2025
• NBC News: Texas to Become 20th State with Transgender Bathroom Law
• Lambda Legal: Identiy Document Guidance for Transgender, Nonbinary, Gender-Noncomforming, and Intersex People
• TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens
• Erin in the Morning: Countries Should Accept Transgender Refugees from the U.S.

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In the U.S., the current administration has fueled a hate-filled climate toward transgender people that is false, dangerous, and manipulative. It is a loss for the U.S. when smart, kind, caring people who have the burden of carrying the stigma that the transgender label brings — leave the U.S.

In this episode, I share why our family of three, plus one dog, packed up decades of life into nine suitcases and a few carry-ons and left the United States.

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• NPR: A Pioneering Gender-Affirming Health Institute Opened in 1919
• Netflix Documentary: ELDORADO -- Everything the Nazis Hate
• Visit Berlin: Magnus Hirschfeld -- Soul of the Queer Community
• QueerAF: Learning about the first trans clinic
• Independent: Trump has Declared War on the Transgender Community, Leaving Americans to Seek Asylum -- from America
• Lambda Legal: Identiy Document Guidance for Transgender, Nonbinary, Gender-Noncomforming, and Intersex People
• TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens
• Erin in the Morning: Countries Should Accept Transgender Refugees from the U.S.

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The big news in this episode is that I am taking a little hiatus until mid-September due to a big move with my spouse and our son. I'll miss you until then!

I leave you with a few self-care tips that I hope are fresh enough to help carry each of us forward as we wade through these uncertain times.

Chin up and onward we go, together.

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

It is easy to get distracted and drift off in one direction a little more than anticipated; sometimes we need to pause and hit the reset button when that happens. Recently, I have been laying it on thick as an ally to my spouse while forgetting about my own needs — not too difficult to do in these crazy times. While I reset, I reshare a talk with my son regarding his perspective about when my spouse came out as transgender. It's a reminder that things aren't that complicated and people are people.

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

A heartfelt thank you to the listeners, even my spouse, who brought it to my attention that the individual I previously interviewed and had in this slot was not presenting themselves in a truthful manner. I consider the podcast a community where resources, ideas, and honest opinions can be shared. This means that I will dig deeper to ensure this doesn't happen again. Accountability matters.

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In this episode, meet Renée Yoxon, a gender-affirming voice teacher who has created a suite of online voice courses to help you or the transgender or nonbinary person in your life to feminize, masculinize, or find something in between to shape that preferred this-is-me sound when speaking.

Renée discusses their background, tips for voice health, and not allowing your fears to prevent you from beginning your voice transition journey. They also walk me through a voice exercise that you can find in the freebies section of their website.

The goal: "there isn't a final goal... really what you're working towards is using your voice in everyday life in a way that doesn't feel like you're thinking about it all the time..."

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• Renée Yoxon's website
• Renée's courses
• Renée's freebies
• Sign up for Renée's newsletter
• Find Renée on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Bluesky

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Two weeks post vocal feminization surgery, we hear what my spouse sounds like as she slowly recovers. She was on vocal rest for the past weeks and we talk about how she communicated, her reasons for opting for vocal surgery, and what she hopes the outcome will be in the months ahead.

My favorite word in this episode: otolaryngology. Say that ten times.

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• Text-to-speech generator
• Phone app text-to speech generator (Google Play)
• Type of vocal surgery: VFSRAC -- Vocal Fold Shortening and Retrodisplacement Anterior Commissure
• Medical team who performed this surgery

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.