On the eve of her vocal feminization surgery, I talk to my spouse about surgeries she has had at this stage of her transition, the surgery decision process, and how she is feeling going into this one. 

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• GLAAD: Transgender Day of Visibility, March 31 
• FOLX: LGBTQ+ health care provider
• HRC: Get the Facts on Gender Affirming Care

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In this episode, I talk to my mom in her eighties about her reaction when I told her that my spouse had come out as transgender.

My favorite quote from our talk: “You’re not the one who has the right to judge.” 

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• American Field Service (AFS)
• Book my parents read: She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders, by Jennifer Finney Boylan
• PFLAG National for friend and family ally support
• PFLAG International for friend and family ally support
• Book I recently read and recommend: Dear Cisgender People: A Guide to Trans Allyship and Empathy, by Kenny Ethan Jones

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Telling your parents that your spouse has come out as transgender can be quite stressful; no two family dynamics are the same. In this episode, I talk to my midwestern, cisgender, former United States Navy officer, highly educated dad in his eighties about his reaction when I told him that my spouse had come out as transgender.

My favorite quote from our talk: “The only change would be our nasty attitude and that just makes no sense.”

FYI: The podcast is now available on YouTube, too. 

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• Book my dad read: She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders, by Jennifer Finney Boylan
• PFLAG National for friend and family ally support
• PFLAG International for friend and family ally support
• Book I recently read and recommend: Dear Cisgender People: A Guide to Trans Allyship and Empathy, by Kenny Ethan Jones

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The news headlines about attempts to erase the transgender community can do a number on us. Partner up, it’s going to be an unpredictable, bumpy ride. Rest when you need to, stay hydrated, and keep being you. Allies, time to step up. 

Trans Lifeline: Resources for Dealing with Post-Election Grief

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• USA Today: Utah bill would ban Pride flags in public schools but allow Nazi flags for educational use
• The Salt Lake Tribune: Utah Republican amends anti-pride flag bill hours after saying Nazi, Confederate flags could be displayed in schools
• NPR: Park Service erases 'transgender' on Stonewall website, uses the term 'LGB' movement
• ABC News: Transgender references removed from Stonewall National Monument website
• Recommended: Erin in the Morning
• Recommended: The Trans Formations Project
• Recommended: The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC
• Recommended groups for cisgender spouses: PFLAG, Reddit, Facebook here and here
• More resources

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Misinformation and fake news are abundant, and knowing what’s real and what’s not can even take the savviest person by surprise. Transgender people are the current target and as the saying goes, repeat a lie enough times and people start to believe it. Let’s change that. In this episode, I share tips and thoughts on how to spot fake news and stop others from spreading it.

Mentioned or related to this episode:

• NBC News: Trans Pilot Shares "Proof of Life" Video...
• Cornell University: Types of False Information
• Adelphi University: Evaluation Tools
• Adelphi University: The CRAAP Test
• National Geographic / Global Digital Citizen Foundation: Critical Thinking Cheatsheet
• L.A. Public Library: How to Talk to Friends and Family Who Spread Misinformation
• Time: Nine Ways to Respond to Political Misinformation
• World Health Organization (WHO): Reporting Misinformation Online
• UC Berkeley Library: List of Fact Checkers
• Special NPR Series: Untangling Disinformation 
• Denver Public Library: Challenge Misinformation: Books for Adults
• Rawson Internet Marketing: Media Literacy, Fact Checking, and Critical Thinking in the Age of Misinformation
• Book: Think Again by Adam Grant 
• Book: Weaponized Lies, How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era by Daniel J. Levitin
• Book: The Demon-Haunted World, Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

It has been three years since my spouse came out to me as transgender. This episode reflects on how the first two years look from here, plus how things are going and where they are headed. 

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

It’s a new year and as we wrestle with what the future holds for transgender people in this moment in time, we begin the season with a glimpse of the potential for positive change. My spouse decided to visit her family in México to celebrate her dad’s 80th birthday this past November. It has been a difficult road for their relationship since my spouse came out and only recently have they been communicating on a regular basis. This was the first visit since my spouse began her transition, almost three years ago. Change can happen with effort from all sides. 

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The season ends with special guest, Abbe Kruger. Abbe is a life coach who dedicates herself to supporting cisgender and straight spouses or partners, and couples, managing changes in sexuality, gender identity and gender expression. Abbe can help anyone, anywhere in the world. In this episode, Abbe shares how a loved one coming out can impact the straight spouse or partner and offers insight into how couples can make it work.  

• Abbe's coaching website

Season 3 returns in January. Until then, be well and thank you for listening. 

Additional Resources

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

One month into middle school for my son and a student has already used an anti-LGBTQ+ slur against another student in a locker room. The kicker is that we live in what is considered a very progressive area. In this episode, my son and I have a talk about this incident, how a teacher handled it, and what he might have done if the teacher wasn’t there. 

Related to this episode:

• UNICEF: How to Talk to Your Kids About Hate Speech
• Anti-Defamation League: What is "Grooming?" The Truth Behind the Dangerous, Bigoted Lie Targeting the LGBTQ+ Community
• Lambda Legal: Know Your Rights - Anti-Gay and Anti-Equality Speech
• Lambda Legal: For Educators - How to Make Your School Safer for LGBTQ Students

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The Summer Olympics just ended and I’m always impressed by the overall mental strength component that athletes have to excel at their sports. It takes mental strength to succeed in sports, at work, as parents, and in a situation like many of us where your spouse or partner has come out as transgender. Let’s explore this idea of mental strength to help us remain grounded as we navigate a loved one coming out. 

Mentioned in this episode:

• CNBC: I Study and Train Mentally Strong People for a Living - Here are 7 Things They Never Do 

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx 

More transgender families: 

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• TikTok: TransitionTogether
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * * 

Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.