The Cro-Mags are whispering to each other and snickering, as if you’re too dumb or too INVISIBLE to figure out that they’re laughing at YOU. So you do the only thing you can do: You grab your Discman and put on your headphones and lose yourself in the latest episode of the California Diaries, where the boys are talking about The Purge and Resident Evil and a bunch of other stuff that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but ANYTHING is better than Cro-Mags. Anything is better than trying to be something you’re not for people who barely even know who you are.

Music credits:

“90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS

“Vapour Trail,” by Ride

“Shook Ones, Pt. II,” by Mobb Deep

“Save Yourself,” by Stabbing Westward

“Vibe,” by Marble Space

“Rock,” by Studio Monkey

“Surf Rock Chase Scene,” by Sun Channel Music

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Superbrat for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It took four books, but we finally get a taste of that Good Clean Baby-Sitting Fun we’ve been so desperately craving this week, from the unlikely direction of Amalia Vargas. She isn’t even in the We Heart Kids Club, but she took pity on us and stopped by a women’s shelter to look after some kids on the way to break up with her toxic boyfriend. A truly scintillating novel, made even more so by the thoughtful inclusion of baby-sitting. Was that so difficult?

Music credits:

“90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS

“Vibe,” by Marble Space

“Rock,” by Studio Monkey

“Surf Rock Chase Scene,” by Sun Channel Music

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Superbrat for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you have a choice between watching the star-studded world premiere of “Fatal Judgment” or being in the crowd at the Battle of the Bands for the first-ever performance by Vanish featuring Maggie Blume on keyboards and backup vocals, there’s only one choice you can make: Go to both of them. That’s right, the boys have front-row seats at both of the hottest tickets in Palo City this week, and you can be sure they’re gonna be wearing their extra-large Jncos.

Music credits:

“Vibe,” by Marble Space

“Beautiful Love,” by Twisterium

“90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS

“Rock,” by Studio Monkey

“Surf Rock Chase Scene,” by Sun Channel Music

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Superbrat for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everything is still very, very late '90s out here in California and we're all pretty worked up about it. But we're grown adults, so we're going to do the only responsible thing we can in the situation: Throw a copy of "On the Road" into our Jansports, strap on our blades, and blow off class for a day at the beach with a handsome and slightly suspicious drifter named Carson. Hope is a disease.

Music credits:

“90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS

“90s Grunge Rock Epic Song,” by Blue Sky Audio

“Rock,” by Studio Monkey

“Surf Rock Chase Scene,” by Sun Channel Music

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Superbrat for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Edgier, more grownup, full of alcohol and angst and bad decisions. Cool. Sullen. Sarcastic. Mad at the whole world and ready to explode. These are just a few words to describe podcast hosts Jack Shepherd and Tanner Greenring. And this week, they’re embarking on an exciting new journey as they follow the BSC’s Dawn Schafer across the country to sunny California for fun, frolicking, and friendship! I wonder what new babies she will sit and what kind of wholesome and agreeable things she will get up to!

Music credits:

“90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS

“90s Grunge Rock Epic Song,” by Blue Sky Audio

“Rock,” by Studio Monkey

“Surf Rock Chase Scene,” by Sun Channel Music

“Indie Grunge Anthem,” by Phil Larson

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Superbrat for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A wonderfully surreal and slightly scary world awaits all those who are brave enough to crawl through the looking glass, speak their own secret names aloud, and become new initiates of the legendary Baby-Sitters Club. But this is just the beginning of the quest, and danger awaits: Will the boys be confounded by the deadly Puzzle Box, disoriented by the mysterious Map Game, or debilitated by the incessant ringing of Claudia’s terrible telephone? Answers: Yes, yes, and yes. Fortunately, these guys are professional gamers, so there’s probably no need to worry.

Music credits:

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Superbrat for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trained from a young age by an elite academy for assassins, Associate Baby-Sitter Shannon Kilbourne is ready for the biggest mission of her life when she runs into resistance from the place she least expects it: Her own mother. The boys travel back in time from the dystopian wasteland they’ve been trapped in to learn more about Shannon’s Story in a last, desperate attempt to save the future before the BSC Readers’ Request books run out. Oh, and Mrs. Barrett was in this one and, um, she was … um, very good in the baseball game we thought!

Music credits:

“Strange Dimensions,” by Marco Belloni Music

“Showtime,” by Stockwaves

“Lovely Memories Ident,” by CreativeMedias_net

“Jazz Sad Hip Hop,” by Black Stone Sound

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Bye Bye Empire for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The boys head back in time to get frisky with some whales and check up on what Logan Bruno’s up to, which, WOW! He’s fallen in with a group of ‘50s greasers called The Badd Boyz and led by a cigarette-smoking, shoplifting, leather-jacket-wearing rude dude called T-Jam who makes Stacey’s well-documented Wine Crimes look like a walk in the park. And that’s all real! That’s what this wonderful book is actually about. What a gift. What a time to be alive.

Music credits:

“Ambient Cosmic Soundscape,” by Allen Grey

“Showtime,” by Stockwaves

“Chopstick Slapstick,” by OurMusicBox

“Scottish Bagpipe Rock Anthem,” by Allen Grey

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Bye Bye Empire for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The boys are both canceled this week, sadly, along with Pete Black, Logan, and everybody else on the SMS Gladiators track team except Austin Bentley. And this is their YouTube Apology video. But despite the setback (and another more extreme one that has trapped one of them in 18th Century Glasgow), they valiantly make their way through this fascinating Readers’ Request about Logan Bruno. ‘Cuz Ann finally made one that’s just for the guys.

Music credits:

“Celtic Adventure,” by Allen Grey

“Baa, Baa, Black Sheep,” by Singing Bell

“Showtime,” by Stockwaves

“China National Anthem (Rockendary Remix),” by Rockendary

“Scottish Bagpipe Rock Anthem,” by Allen Grey

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Bye Bye Empire for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jack takes a seat on the bench so that Regular Tanner and Future Tanner can solve the maddening puzzle that Jeanne Betancourt has created this week in the form of “Abby’s Book.” This mostly involves being incredibly sad about the fate of the surprisingly handsome Jonathan Stevenson, who — as fans of the BSC know all too well — went to ride the Rainbow Road far too soon.

Music credits:

“Epic Cinematic Sci-Fi,” by Luca Francini

“Are You Sleeping,” by Skrianski Music

“Showtime,” by Stockwaves

“Sexy Hip Hop,” by Stereo Nuts

“Dramatic End,” by Tim Cat

“Sadness,” by AudioRose

“Sad to Inspiring,” by Stockwaves

“Sadness,” by Allen Grey

Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to Bye Bye Empire for the outro music.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices