In the casual hookup community, even lovers with the highest body counts (especially those outside cis-hetero norms) might agree; it’s not size, shape, presence, or lack of specific anatomical features that make the biggest impression after the act. No, the quality of your “bits” may actually come second to a sense of enthusiasm when turning what could’ve been a vapid interaction into an unforgettable encounter. You know…”the motion of the ocean” and all that.

Sorry. We’re not trying to give anyone the ick. We just needed a little foreplay before introducing you to Subpar Snatch. First off, “Supbar Snatch” ain’t a bait-and-switch…like if a middle aged man named Richard were to go by “Mid Dick”; check their labian logo lest you misinterpret the band’s handle. Secondly, this Austin ménage à trois of mania and talent has managed to standout in the turbulent world of punk and garage shows which, whether in liminal concrete spaces or on sticky dive bar stages, are usually messy encounters full of technical missteps, sloppy techniques, hair getting caught in things, and performances so short they often climax before the crowd’s hardly half-cocked.

Haven’t slid into Subpar Snatch live in concert yet? Let ’em satisfy you this Pride Month with a gig next Wednesday at Still Austin Whiskey Co. for Gay Heat: Benefit for Equality Texas and a single and music video release show 11:30PM tomorrow night at Chess Club, with openers Sunspite at 10 and Bat Lips at 10:45, plus closers Hell Fury a quarter past midnight. And that new single, “Juicy Booty” is one of the trio’s most aggressive and accessible to date. With a pristine mix that preserves that in-garage gusto, a start-and-stop instrumental riff that’ll make you pull something in the pit, a half time bridge breakdown that edges towards a big finish, and individual intensities that layer together perfectly, “Juicy Booty” is a succulent, stimulating testament to what makes this three-piece anything but subpar…and why denying naughty song titles is plain asinine.

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