Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

How often are you really supposed to be having sex? Spoiler alert: You've been asking the wrong question.

Society pushes a "magic number" for sexual frequency that's causing more harm than good. The truth? There is no normal. We're diving deep into why the three-times-a-week standard is BS, how desire actually works in long-term relationships, and the one thing that matters more than counting sessions—quality and connection.

Ed and Phoebe challenge everything you thought you knew about sex in relationships, from the myth of spontaneous desire to why 80% of women can't orgasm the way we've been told they should. Drawing on research from Dr. Karen Gurney's "Mind the Gap" and insights from the swinging lifestyle, we reveal practical strategies to build sexual currency without adding pressure, understand responsive desire, and create the conditions where passion can thrive.

What You'll Learn:

• Why comparing your sex life to society's "normal" is killing your intimacy
• The two types of desire and why waiting to "feel like it" sets you up for failure
• How to build sexual currency through non-sexual intimacy (yes, doing dishes counts!)
• Why penetrative sex is women's least preferred sexual activity—and what that means for satisfaction
• The surprising connection between household chores and sexual satisfaction
• How the swinging lifestyle opened up game-changing conversations about sex
• Why humans aren't biologically wired for monogamy (and what that means for your relationship)

Timestamps:

• 00:00 - Opening: The Question Everyone's Thinking
• 01:02 - The Frequency Myth: Society's Broken Benchmark
• 05:40 - Why We're Having Less Sex: Modern Intimacy Killers
• 11:20 - How Desire Really Works: Spontaneous vs. Responsive
• 16:30 - Arousal Non-Concordance: When Mind and Body Don't Match
• 22:10 - Building Sexual Currency: Practical Strategies That Work
• 28:00 - What Actually Matters: Quality, Communication & Flexibility
• 40:30 - The Gender Script Problem: Why PIV Isn't the Answer
• 46:00 - What Actually Helps: From Chores to Mindfulness
• 52:00 - The Big Picture: Rethinking Monogamy and Moving Forward

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/

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Our Links:

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• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
• Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products

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Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

Why does a piece of chocolate trigger the same brain chemical as meeting someone new at a swinger party?

This episode reveals the surprising neuroscience behind New Relationship Energy, dopamine addiction, and why the swinging lifestyle can feel impossible to walk away from. Ed and Phoebe break down the science of pleasure—from that 55% dopamine spike you get from chocolate to the 1000% surge from harder substances—and explain why novelty in the lifestyle hijacks your brain's reward system exactly like a drug.

In this episode of Swinger University, we explore the powerful connection between dopamine, addiction, and ethical non-monogamy, discussing why NRE feels so intoxicating, how constant stimulation affects your mental health, and practical strategies for maintaining balance in the lifestyle. Whether you're new to the swinging lifestyle, experienced in ethical non-monogamy, or simply curious about the brain chemistry behind attraction and novelty-seeking, this conversation will help you understand what's really happening in your head when you can't stop thinking about that new connection.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• The exact dopamine percentages: chocolate (55%), sex (100%), nicotine (1.5x), cocaine (2.25x), and amphetamines (10x)
• Why New Relationship Energy creates thoughts and feelings you can't control—and how long it typically lasts
• The "pleasure paradox": how constant dopamine hits from social media, food, and the lifestyle create chronic deficit states
• Real stories of NRE intensity, FOMO at swinger events, and why some people need breaks from the lifestyle
• How novelty, secrecy, quantity, and access all amplify your brain's reward response
• Practical strategies for seeking balance: recognizing addiction patterns, pacing yourself, and knowing when to step back
• Why comparison is killing your enjoyment and how to focus on your own experience

📝 Read the full transcript: https://swingeruniversity.com/the-one-chemical-behind-chocolate-swinging-and-addiction

Need support? Check out Expansive Connection for lifestyle-friendly therapy and coaching:

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/

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CALL: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.

Our Links:

📺YouTube - Like to watch?
👉Join our vibrant community: https://swingeruniversity.com/community
🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
🛳️Book your vacation with us: http://SwingerVacation.net

• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
• Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products

* We get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.

Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

Is swinging just a lighthearted hobby… or a defining lifestyle choice? In this episode of our swinger lifestyle podcast, we dive into the hobby vs lifestyle debate that’s sparking conversations across the swinger community and beyond.

We explore why some couples embrace swinging as a fun, occasional activity — a playful part of ethical non‑monogamy — while others see it as a core relationship identity tied to trust, intimacy, and community. Along the way, we unpack the emotional depth, communication skills, and social connections that make the swinger lifestyle more than just a weekend pastime.
Whether you’re curious about open relationships, navigating consensual non‑monogamy, or simply interested in how language shapes modern relationship dynamics, this conversation will challenge your perspective.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why some call swinging a “hobby” and the benefits of that framing
• Why others find the term dismissive or offensive
• How relationship labels influence identity and belonging
• The spectrum from casual hobby to committed lifestyle
• Why there’s no one‑size‑fits‑all answer
  
  

📌 Join the conversation — What term do you use, and why? Drop your thoughts in the comments.
🔔 Subscribe for more open, honest discussions on alternative lifestyle relationships, intimacy, and community.

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/

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CALL: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.

Our Links:

📺YouTube - Like to watch?
👉Join our vibrant community: https://swingeruniversity.com/community
🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
🛳️Book your vacation with us: http://SwingerVacation.net

• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
• Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products

* We get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.

Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

Is "reclaiming" in the swinging lifestyle sexy ritual or possessive play? Ed and Phoebe unpack this controversial term, sharing their real experiences and perspectives from within the community.

In this episode, we cover:

• The origins and controversy around the term "reclaiming"
• How language like "reclaiming" vs "reconnecting" shapes our swinging experiences
• The historical and possessive undertones in lifestyle terminology
• The passionate side of reconnecting after play, including personal rituals and preferences
• Why communication and finding what works for your relationship is what really matters

00:00 Public Sex and Prima Nocte

04:24 Observing Kink From Afar

06:35 History of Marriage Conventions

11:07 Misunderstood Acronyms in Play Situations

16:08 "Rekindling Romance Through Separation"

17:40 Understanding No Kissing Rules

21:44 Longtime Relationship Disconnection

23:20 "Communication and Relationship Balance"

28:47 "Reconnecting: Balancing Desire"

29:35 Fluidity in Emotional Reconnection

34:03 "Planning Remote Setup Fun"

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/

EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]

CALL: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.

Our Links:

📺YouTube - Like to watch?
👉Join our vibrant community: https://swingeruniversity.com/community
🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
🛳️Book your vacation with us: http://SwingerVacation.net

• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
• Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products

* We get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.

Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

Get real answers to burning questions about STI safety in the swinging lifestyle. Ed and Phoebe break down common myths, honest risks, and practical tips for safer sex at parties, events, and orgies.

• Why standard STI tests and "full panels" don't cover everything
• The dangers of a false sense of security with recent test results
• Real talk about latency periods, symptom-free infections, and what that means for your risk
• Best practices for condoms, washing up, and safe sex protocols during orgies
• The truth about Truvada, antibiotics, and when you should (or shouldn't) rely on medication for STI prevention
• Get the facts, reassess your own risk, and make smarter choices in your lifestyle adventures.

00:00 Intro... and Teaser
04:08 False Security in Relationship Testing
06:52 Standard STD Testing Overview
10:45 Blood Test for Antibodies
14:36 Premature Clean Test Results
16:22 STI Testing: False Security Concerns
22:11 Fake Test Result Concerns
24:48 Asymptomatic STI Myth Busting
28:32 Soft Swap Orgy Dynamics
31:12 Discussing Truvada's Role in STI Prevention
33:00 "Prebiotics Superior to Probiotics"
37:33 Interactive Sessions & Support Invitation
39:39 "Testing and Expanding Offer"

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/

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CALL: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.

Our Links:

📺YouTube - Like to watch?
👉Join our vibrant community: https://swingeruniversity.com/community
🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
🛳️Book your vacation with us: http://SwingerVacation.net

• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
• Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products

* We get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.

Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

Curious about what diversity really means in the swinger lifestyle? In this episode, Ed and Phoebe break down the surprising variety you’ll find—and why it’s not what you might expect.

• The wide range of body types, ages, and preferences within swinger communities
• Different styles of parties, play, and consent practices (including substance use and communication)
• How self-confidence, body image, and social dynamics mix at events
• Cultural differences (including American vs. European approaches to consent and intimacy)
• Why the lifestyle evolves for couples over time—plus common myths about drama, “body count,” and relationship risks

Ready to separate fact from fiction about diversity in swinging? Watch now!

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/

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CALL: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.

Our Links:

📺YouTube - Like to watch?
👉Join our vibrant community: https://swingeruniversity.com/community
🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
🛳️Book your vacation with us: http://SwingerVacation.net

• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
• Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products

* We get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.

Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

Ever wondered what red flags you should watch for in the swinging lifestyle? In this episode of Swinger University, Ed and Phoebe dive deep into real-life stories of dates gone wrong, rude behavior, mismatched expectations, and questionable consent. From couples who show a totally different side on a second date, to partners who don’t seem on the same page, we share the signs that made us question, “Is this really the couple for us?”

✨ In this episode, you'll hear about:

• A disastrous dinner date with an incredibly rude couple (seriously, who sends food back over a heating lamp?!)
• Stories of awkward power dynamics where one partner speaks for the other
• Consent concerns in situations where one person seems uncomfortable
• The challenge of navigating mixed signals, unreciprocated flirting, and introvert/extrovert mismatches
• Tips on spotting red flags before you end up in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation

We want you to enjoy the lifestyle safely, confidently, and drama-free! This episode is perfect for swinger newbies, experienced lifestylers, or anyone curious about navigating ethical non-monogamy and consensual swinging with respect.

🔔 Don’t forget to Subscribe to Swinger University for more lifestyle tips, real stories, and candid conversations about the swinging lifestyle, open relationships, ethical non-monogamy, and adult community events.

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/

EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]

CALL: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.

Our Links:

📺YouTube - Like to watch?
👉Join our vibrant community: https://swingeruniversity.com/community
🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
🛳️Book your vacation with us: http://SwingerVacation.net

• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
• Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products

* We get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.

Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

00:00 - Start
01:01 - Tip 1: Pace It Out
03:31 - Tip 2: Fears and Expectations
06:17 - Tip 3: Get Uncomfortable
09:05 - Tip 4: Grow and Change
12:40 - Tip 5: Trust
21:34 - Lets talk about cheating...
22:47 - Wrap Up!

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/

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Our Links:

📺YouTube - Like to watch?
👉Join our vibrant community: https://swingeruniversity.com/community
🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
🛳️Book your vacation with us: http://SwingerVacation.net

• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
• Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products

* We get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.

Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

Feeling like the lifestyle doesn’t light you up anymore? You’re not alone—and this episode is for you.

In this powerful conversation, Ed and Phoebe from Swinger University sit down with Kel from Expansive Connection to talk about what it really means when your desires evolve and swinging starts to feel... different.

🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
🛳️Book your vacation with us: http://SwingerVacation.net
Join our YouTube channel to get access to perks:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCe7DmFew6-HGxq-4ocl61LQ/join

🔥 Whether it’s the same parties, same people, or just a fading thrill, this episode explores how to:

- Recognize when your lifestyle interests shift
- Embrace change without guilt or shame
- Let go of self-judgment and outdated identities
- Rewrite your story and rediscover what truly lights you up

💬 Kel—Certified Adult Chair Coach, Relational Life Therapy Coach, and Enneagram Coach—shares transformative tools to help you reconnect with your authentic self and reignite passion in your relationships.

✨ If you’re feeling stuck, burned out, or like the tribe you once loved doesn’t feel like home anymore, this episode is your invitation to something new.

Sources
https://www.expansiveconnection.com/

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

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🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
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• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
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* We get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.

Send us a fun message...But if you want a response contact us at SwingerUniversity.com

Have you ever had a night that changed everything? 🤯 We did. One minute we were a normal couple, listening to a podcast... the next, we were plunging headfirst into a secret swinger party we found on Craigslist! 😳

Join us as we reveal the shocking, raw, and completely unexpected story of how we became swingers. We were nervous, excited, and totally out of our depth at this "Share Your Wife" party with total strangers. Things got WILD. 😱

Curious about the swinging lifestyle? Want to know what it's really like to attend your first swinger event? We're sharing our unfiltered experience, from the initial curiosity to the moment we walked through the door.

But be warned... there was a shocking and violating club entrance requirement we NEVER saw coming. 😨 You won't believe what happened!

Whether you're new to swinging, considering exploring open relationships, or just love a crazy story, you won't want to miss this!

Support the show

3 Ways to get your question on our show:

RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/

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Our Links:

📺YouTube - Like to watch?
👉Join our vibrant community: https://swingeruniversity.com/community
🌶️Get extra episodes and exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity
🛳️Book your vacation with us: http://SwingerVacation.net

• SwingLinks.club - Our Links
• PhoebeSwinger.com - All Phoebe's Spicy 🌶️Links
• EdSwinger.com - All Ed's Spicy 🌶️Links
• Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products

* We get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.