SWM 118 – In sickness and in health

The traditional wedding vows go something like "I take you to be my wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live."

Unfortunately, I don't remember my wedding vows. I remember picking some. I remember memorizing them. I remember reciting them, from memory, during the wedding, despite having the flu and a fever. But nearly 23 years later, I don't remember what they were.

I'm sure they contained something like "in sickness and in health," though.

This past month, we got to test those vows. For those who are on our mailing list, you know I've been dealing with a pinched nerve in my back, which has left my one leg nearly useless and in a lot of pain. It's been about a month now, and I am, just today, starting to walk sometimes without a limp, and I just started driving again. I still can't walk far - my leg gets sore and tired after only a couple of minutes of being on it, but the pain is down to achy instead of "I want to cut my leg off." So, I'm making progress.

But the last month has been challenging. 

For myself, well, it's been painful - my nerves are short-circuited, so it hurts in varying degrees randomly, the muscles cramp randomly, and part of my leg is numb.  

It's also been exhausting because lying down makes my leg ache. I had a lot of sleepless nights. Some nights, I couldn't stand to lie down anymore by about 3 am, and I had to get up.

And it's boring. The meds at the beginning were so strong I couldn't even read a book or listen to one - I couldn't pay attention enough to gain anything from it. Even movies were hard to follow. Also, having to constantly shift, roll, etc., to try to find a comfortable position makes it hard to watch anything with substance. I did watch a lot of YouTube videos. I watched almost everything Viva La Dirt League put out. If you like video games, their videos are hilarious although some have some crude language.

I like to do things for myself, and for the last four weeks or so, I haven't been able to do much of anything for myself. I can't cook - I can't even make a sandwich. I can't help with any household chores except sorting laundry - if someone brings me the basket and puts the folded clothes away for me. I certainly can't move hay bales - I haven't even seen our barn or animals in a month now because I can't walk that far.

For someone who likes to be self-sufficient - that's hard. Christina sometimes gets frustrated because I don't often ask for help. It's not that I don't want to - I don't even think to. Well, I've had to in the last four weeks, and that's been challenging, to be honest. My first instinct is to do it myself - and then I get scolded, and rightly so, for not resting like I should be.

And it's been hard on Christina, too.  

She's had to watch me be in pain, knowing that there's nothing that can be done about it - we just have to wait it out.

She's had to do all the driving - the normal amount, plus whatever I would usually drive, plus all the extra ER, Chiropractor, Massage Therapy and Physiotherapy appointments, which, at first, was a lot.

She's had to do all my farm chores as well as her own - the kids are still helping, of course, and they have been stepping up more, but still, it's a lot. Every morning, she spends an hour out there. This week,