Deviate

Talking with my parents about how to handle it when your parents die (in memory of Alice Potts, 1943-2025)


Listen Later

Note: This encore episode is dedicated to the memory of Alice Potts, who died on August 20, 2025, aged 81.

“In America aging is often seen as an insult rather than an inevitable human process. We don’t celebrate getting older; we ‘fight’ age by pretending to be young.” –Rolf Potts

In this episode of Deviate Rolf and his parents, Alice and George Potts, talk about how surviving the COVID-19 pandemic has changed their relationship, and how it gave them a pretext to go through a “death checklist” together (3:00); how one’s grandparents and parents live on in one’s memories and one’s conversations, the life-values they passed on, and what it felt like when those loved ones declined and died (14:00); how, over the years, elderly people and philosophers have come to terms with notions of decline and death (31:00); and personal insights about what it’s like to have grown older after having lived a long life (44:00).

George and Alice Potts are retired schoolteachers based in Kansas. George taught science at various Wichita high schools, as well as at Friends University, where he pioneered graduate-level programs in Zoo Science and Environmental Studies. He also helped facilitate the Outdoor Wildlife Learning Sites (OWLS) program for the Kansas Department of Wildlife and Parks. Alice taught second graders in the Wichita public schools for more than 30 years. In 1994 her classes succeed in promoting legislation to declare the barred tiger salamander the Kansas State Amphibian.

Notable Links:

  • What to Do When a Loved One Dies (AARP death checklist)
  • How we die in America (Deviate episode)
  • The therapeutic uses of reading scripture (Deviate episode)
  • On losing one’s parents to COVID-19 (Deviate episode)
  • 1985 World Series (baseball championship)
  • Joe Louis (20th century boxing champion)
  • John Prine (singer-songwriter)
  • Alzheimer’s disease (chronic neurodegenerative disease)
  • You Are My Sunshine (folk song)
  • Will You Miss Me When I’m Gone (folk song)
  • Ecclesiastes (book in the Old Testament of the Bible)
  • Epistle of James (book in the New Testament of the Bible)
  • Crowfoot (19th century Siksika First Nation chief)
  • Ted Kaczynski (the Unabomber)
  • Epicurus (ancient Greek philosopher)
  • Varanasi (Hindu holy city in India)
  • Lamentations 3:22-23 (Old Testament Bible verse)
  • The Deviate theme music comes from the title track of Cedar Van Tassel’s 2017 album Lumber.

    Note: We don’t host a “comments” section, but we’re happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected].

    ...more
    View all episodesView all episodes
    Download on the App Store

    DeviateBy Rolf Potts

    • 4.8
    • 4.8
    • 4.8
    • 4.8
    • 4.8

    4.8

    161 ratings


    More shows like Deviate

    View all
    Hidden Brain by Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

    Hidden Brain

    43,758 Listeners

    Zero To Travel Podcast by Jason Moore

    Zero To Travel Podcast

    828 Listeners

    Good Life Project by Jonathan Fields / Acast

    Good Life Project

    3,328 Listeners

    Making Sense with Sam Harris by Sam Harris

    Making Sense with Sam Harris

    26,365 Listeners

    The Human Upgrade: Biohacking for Longevity & Performance by Dave Asprey

    The Human Upgrade: Biohacking for Longevity & Performance

    7,227 Listeners

    Ram Dass Here And Now by Ram Dass / Love Serve Remember

    Ram Dass Here And Now

    2,602 Listeners

    On Being with Krista Tippett by On Being Studios

    On Being with Krista Tippett

    10,158 Listeners

    The Science of Happiness by PRX and Greater Good Science Center

    The Science of Happiness

    1,903 Listeners

    The Peter Attia Drive by Peter Attia, MD

    The Peter Attia Drive

    9,046 Listeners

    The Daily Stoic by Daily Stoic | Backyard Ventures

    The Daily Stoic

    4,913 Listeners

    Deep Questions with Cal Newport by Cal Newport

    Deep Questions with Cal Newport

    1,313 Listeners

    Huberman Lab by Scicomm Media

    Huberman Lab

    29,196 Listeners

    The Ezra Klein Show by New York Times Opinion

    The Ezra Klein Show

    16,097 Listeners

    All the Hacks: Money, Points & Life by Chris Hutchins

    All the Hacks: Money, Points & Life

    1,613 Listeners

    Tetragrammaton with Rick Rubin by Rick Rubin

    Tetragrammaton with Rick Rubin

    1,056 Listeners