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Tao Te Ching Verse 56

translated by Chang Chung-Yuan

One who is aware does not talk.
One who talks is not aware.
Ceasing verbal expressions,
Stopping the entry of sensations,
Dulling its sharpness,
Releasing its entanglements,
Tempering its brightness,
And unifying with the earth:
This is called the identity of Tao.
Hence, no nearness can reach her nor distance affect her.
No gain can touch her nor loss disturb her.
No esteem can move her nor shame distress her.
Thus, she is the most valuable person in the world.

Photo by Peter Nguyen on Unsplash

Being careful to not Kiss and Tell

I feel like after all we’ve been considering for the past 5 episodes, Lao Tzu provides us with a final thought.  And it seems to be this:  Don’t kiss and tell with the universe.

I don't know about you, but I have experienced some true, correct, and wonderful things and feelings along my journey with the Tao.  There have been times when I just want to tell everybody about how cool it all is.  Perhaps I’ve had an experience when I felt intimately connected with my environment.  Perhaps I’ve experienced using the creative power of the Tao.  Perhaps I’ve grown a little and have had paradigm shifting insights.  Um, yeah I want to tell people about it.  My world just changed - how can I not talk about it?

But I started noticing something when I would tell people about my adventures.  And it wasn’t because I became super aware of it on my own, either.  It was this verse and other sources - that hinted to me that I shouldn’t be going around and blabbing about my growth.  But why?  I asked.  Isn’t this joyful?  Isn’t this something I should be sharing?  You can, said the Tao, you can share all you want.  But guess what happens when you do?  You take the power out of what you have received and you will feel that that joy you have dissipates more quickly.

So yes, I have learned that when I have paradigm-shifting experiences because of my efforts to move into Harmony, if I want to hold on to those lessons and make them a part of me, I must stay quiet about them.  That’s just my experience - yours may look different.  All I know is now, despite the temptation I have to talk about it, I am better off if I hold it inside and accept whatever has occurred as a precious, personal gift. 

Now, does that mean I withhold information or my experience with people when they ask?  I don’t think so - of course, we are here to help each other.  But I must be careful about oversharing - and not just because I’ll diminish the beauty of my gift, either.  I can also be practicing compassion simultaneously when I am judicious about what I share and don’t.  Have you noticed that sometimes someone may not be ready to hear what you have to say?  I have, for sure.  I haven’t been ready to hear things from others, also!  

The Tao, it seems, prompts us to act and to talk when its time in the manner and depth it specifies.  So I don’t need to go out of my way to not share - this stuff isn’t secret, nor is it meant to be.  It is given freely to those who are ready and willing to receive it.  So I may allow my experiences to come up in conversation, and if I’m asked, I can share about the bigger picture.  When I share out of willingness to give freely and not because I want people to know, I retain my gift and pass it on to others in the way that they need in that moment.