As couples, we aren’t bidding millions on artwork, movie props, or sports memorabilia. But we do regularly make emotional bids in marriage. Bids are invitations from and to our spouse for connection. Today, we talk about bids and how we can respond to them.

WAYS TO TURN TOWARD YOUR SPOUSE

1. Pay attention.
2. Practice active listening, validate feelings, and show interest
3. Prioritize Responding

TAKE THE “US TIME” CHALLENGE

Pay attention to your spouse’s bids for connection this week. Make it a priority to turn toward them.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Greg and Erin Smalley’s definition of bids (https://www.instagram.com/p/DFV6iOfuHg-/?img_index=1)
• “Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids” by Logan Ury at Gottman Institute (https://www.gottman.com/blog/want-to-improve-your-relationship-start-paying-more-attention-to-bids/)
• “Turn Towards Instead of Away” by Zach Brittle at Gottman Institute (https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/)
• Gottman’s List of Minor Bids for Emotional Connection at Gottman Institute
• (https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/List-of-bids-Graphic.png)
• “How to Recognize Your Partner’s ‘Bids for Connection’ and Maybe Save Your Relationship” by Brianne Hogan at LifeHack.com (https://lifehacker.com/how-to-recognize-your-partners-bids-for-connection-and-1848740174)

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Valentine's Day is often viewed and marketed as a holiday of grand gestures. But it doesn't have to be. Listen in as we share four steps to help you have a no-pressure Valentine's Day this year.

TAKE THE “US TIME” CHALLENGE

Discuss your expectations for Valentine's Day and develop a shared plan.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• “10 Facts About Saint Valentine” by Leonie Chao-Fong at HistoryHit.com (https://www.historyhit.com/facts-about-saint-valentine/)
• “Marriage Monday: Wives, Have Realistic Expectations And Share Them With Your Husband” by Shaunti Feldhahn (https://shaunti.com/2014/09/marriage-monday-shaunti-feldhahn-understand-processes-emotions-2/)

 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The idea of a soulmate is a myth that has been around for thousands of years. It may seem like a concept only for non-married people looking for “the one.” But here’s the thing. If you are married and subscribe to this idea of soulmates, it can be harmful to your marriage. Listen in as we share why!

TAKE THE “US TIME” CHALLENGE

Make a list of other marriage myths and reflect on whether they are impacting your marriage. If so, how can you replace them with truth?

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• “Why people still believe in the soulmate myth” by Katie Bishop at BBC (https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220204-why-people-still-believe-in-the-soulmate-myth)
• “For as Long as Our Love Shall Last: How the Soulmate Myth Makes Marriage Less Stable and Less Happy” by Brad Wilcox (https://ifstudies.org/blog/for-as-long-as-our-love-shall-last-how-the-soulmate-myth-makes-marriage-less-stable-and-less-happy)

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We unpack the popular myth that marriage is a 50/50 relationship. But we aren’t stopping there. We’ll also talk about how the counter to this 50/50 myth — that marriage needs to be 100/100 — isn’t always realistic either.

TAKE THE “US TIME” CHALLENGE

Ask your spouse practical ways you can encourage them when they aren’t able to give 100 percent.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/) 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• “How to Marry the Right Girl: A Mathematical Solution” by Robert Krulwich at NPR.org (https://www.npr.org/sections/krulwich/2014/05/15/312537965/how-to-marry-the-right-girl-a-mathematical-solution)
• “Astronomer Johannes Kepler solved life’s hardest problem: marriage” by Ethan Siegel at BigThink.com (https://bigthink.com/starts-with-a-bang/johannes-kepler-solved-marriage/)
• “Why the 50/50 Plan Won’t Work in Marriage” by Dave Boehi at FamilyLife.com (https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/gods-plan-for-marriage/why-the-50-50-plan-wont-work-in-marriage/)
• “Marriage Is Never 50/50 — Brené Brown” on The Tim Ferriss Show (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfL4RTuC9Bk)

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What do you believe about conflict in marriage? There’s a popular marriage myth that says healthy marriages are conflict-free marriages, yet this couldn’t be further from the truth. Listen in as we debunk this myth and share why couples in healthy marriages do experience conflict.

TAKE THE “US TIME” CHALLENGE

Spend some time searching conflict styles. There are five primary ones (competing, collaborating, compromising, accommodating, and avoiding). Reflect on which ones you and your spouse best fit and have a conversation about them.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)   

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• The Debunking Handbook (https://www.ltrr.arizona.edu/~katie/kt/natsgc/Debunking_Handbook.pdf)

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Have you heard that love is all you need to make a marriage work? This marriage myth couldn’t be further from the truth. Today, we debunk this myth and talk about how you need more than love if you want your marriage to go the distance.

TAKE THE “US TIME” CHALLENGE

Revisit your vows. Remind yourselves of what you promised when those “in love” feelings were at their newest and strongest.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/) 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• “A Psychologist Debunks 10 Common ‘Marriage Myths” by Mark Travers at Forbes.com (https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/17/a-psychologist-debunks-10-common-marriage-myths/)
• “Why Your Vows Matter More Now Than Your Wedding Day” by Adam Hillis (https://medium.com/publishous/heres-why-your-vows-actually-mean-more-now-than-your-wedding-day-a49dc0d83b93)

 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We all bring individual talents, abilities, and ambitions into marriage. On today’s episode, we share four ways to encourage and support your spouse in pursuing and accomplishing their personal aspirations and goals.

4 PRACTICAL WAYS TO ENCOURAGE YOUR SPOUSE'S ASPIRATIONS AND GOALS

1. Ask your spouse what their aspirations and goals are and what tools or resources they may need to achieve them.
2. Help your spouse make the time to pursue and accomplish their aspirations and goals.
3. Encourage your spouse to take risks and step out of their comfort zone and support them in practical ways when they do.
4. Celebrate your spouse’s milestones both big and small.

TAKE THE “US TIME” CHALLENGE

Think of one personal goal or aspiration you have for 2025. Share it with your spouse and give them ideas on how they can encourage and support you. Then, ask them what they aspire to and ask how you can encourage and support them.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
•  FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/) 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• “Supporting Your Spouse’s Goal Is Good for Your Marriage” by Greg Smalley at Focus on the Family (https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/why-supporting-your-spouses-goals-is-good-for-your-marriage/)

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

We don't have to be Scrooges to benefit from reflecting on Christmas past, present, and future. In this episode, we talk about how looking back, living now, and planning ahead together can enrich our marriages.

TAKE THE "US TIME" CHALLENGE

If you’ve been married five years or more, practice nostalgia with your spouse. Ask each other about your favorite Christmas you’ve spent together and why it stands out to you. If you have been married less than five years, plan ahead on where you want to be relationally next Christmas.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/) 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• “Here’s why there used to be so many Christmas Day weddings” by Daisy Goddard at Find My Past (https://www.findmypast.co.uk/blog/discoveries/christmas-day-weddings)
•  “How Christmas Memories Can Enrich Your Life” by Mark D. Roberts at Fuller De Pree Center (https://depree.org/de-pree-journal/how-christmas-memories-can-enrich-your-life/)
•  “’Tis the Season for Nostalgia: Holiday Reminiscing Can Have Psychological Benefits” at APA.org (https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2011/12/nostalgia)
• “Look Ahead to Strengthen Your Relationship” by Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. at Psychology Today (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201310/look-ahead-strengthen-your-relationship)
• “What Is Active Listening?” by Amy Gallo at Harvard Business Review (https://hbr.org/2024/01/what-is-active-listening)

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Should you vent to your spouse? Today, we talk about what venting is and share three key questions to ask yourself before you dive into an emotionally-charged vent.

3 KEY QUESTIONS TO ASK

1. What fuels my desire to vent about this particular frustration, situation, or person?
2. If I vent in my emotional-charged state, will we be reacting or responding to whatever has upset me?
3. Will what I share be beneficial to my spouse and our relationship?

TAKE THE "US TIME" CHALLENGE

If you find yourself ready to vent about something this week, pause first. Ask yourself these three questions and determine if you need to calm down before sharing.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• “The Rock Cycle: Volcanic Gases,” The Geological Society (https://www.geolsoc.org.uk/ks3/gsl/education/resources/rockcycle/page3601.html)
• “Venting Doesn’t Reduce Anger, But Something Else Does, Study Says” by Russel McLendon, Science Alert (https://www.sciencealert.com/venting-doesnt-reduce-anger-but-something-else-does-study-shows)

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/) 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Have you been striving for the perfect marriage? Today, that striving stops. Our guests, Mark and Jill Savage, say that no marriage is perfect, but the good news is that every marriage can get better. Listen in as Mark and Jill share their story and the fundamentals they’ve learned to grow a healthy marriage.

TAKE THE "US TIME" CHALLENGE

Put into the practice the tool of grace that Mark and Jill talked about. Maybe even think of a creative way you can practice it — for example, how Mark took Jill sunglass shopping at the Dollar Store.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

CONNECT WITH MARK AND JILL

• Listen to the No More Perfect Podcast with Jill Savage (https://jillsavage.org/podcast/)
• Visit Mark and Jill’s website (http://www.markandjill.org )  
• Follow Jill on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/jillsavage.author) and Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/jillsavage.author) 

TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/) 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.