Terrible Book Club

Chris found When TRUMPets Ring: The Battle - A True Story by Gregory Hetzer out in the wild on the C-SPAM thread on the SomethingAwful forums. Yes, I have stairs in my house...do YOU have stairs?

This book is the author's attempt at an autobiography meant to encourage the reader to embrace his pro-life, anti-abortion stance. No matter what your opinion on abortion, though, we can all come out from behind our partisan divides to agree that this book needs a serious editor to rewrite and restructure it entirely before it's ever going to change anyone's mind.

Content Warning: In addition to our usual barnyard language, today we've got: abortion, domestic violence (brief mentions), death, gunshots, anti-Islamic rhetoric, patriarchal ideas, and suicide (brief mentions).

Happy U.S. Election Day! We all need some extra entertainment today, so we're airing this episode a week early.

We read a book of feminist cartoons and learn that humor has shifted a lot since the late 1970s in America. Sadly, little else has shifted very much, though - like equal treatment under the law, healthcare, and the dominance of fossil fuels...which is a great reminder to vote today if you haven't already!

Unrelated Good Children's Book Alert: Meeka Caldwell wrote A Friend Like Anian to represent black families and folks with down syndrome in children's literature. If you're looking to expand your young child's library or know someone who is, check it out!

We read this book at the request of our Patron Will as part of his Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select the $10/month tier.

On page 2 of Universal Harvester, you're already invested in the mystery: what's being spliced into the tapes at the local video rental store - snuff; child abuse; human trafficking?

If you lived during the era of VHS rental, have ever liked a David Lynch creation, a Chuck Palahniuk book, or House of Leaves and ache for a story with emotional intelligence that's anything but predictable - John Darnielle has your number.

Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: car accidents and suggested captivity/torture/murder.

Late Bloomer is a perfectly good gay billionaire erotic romance novel (if that's the sort of thing you're looking for). It even has realistic internal monologues and dialogue along with believable characters! However, it's written in the "a/b/o/omegaverse" parallel universe that Paris and Chris have a hard time understanding.

We read this book at the request of our Patron D as part of their Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select the $10/month tier.

Content Warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: graphic and unusual sexual content (specifically, alternate human/dog biology)

We read this book at the request of our Patron Jakub as part of their Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select the $10/month tier.

What if Covid-19 was a man - and you loved that man?

Do neural networks produce bad books just like human authors?

Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: Covid-19 and graphic sexual content.

Note for YouTube users: This originally aired on 9/29/2020 but had to be reuploaded on 6/3/2022 to resolve a copyright claim for a song played towards the end of the episode.

Come along with us, listeners, to the fabled land of The Dunks where all value is now held in gallons of iced coffee, and all inter-state sports travel requires the hiring of Mad Max militias.

Published in 2018 and illustrated by Elijah Stanfield, The Tuttle Twins and the Fate of the Future encourages your children to ask, "Should we coerce others to get what we want?"

Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: political discussion. It is impossible to discuss this book without also discussing politics, so please be aware of that and skip this one if you're not interested in hearing about anything political!

We read Flashback this week at the request of our Patron J as part of their Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select either the $5 or $10/month tier.

Our best approximation of Flashback is, "sci-fi noir alt-right doomsday fairy tale." You have been warned.

Short-story mentioned around the 20-minute mark: Outside the KFC by Claudia Ward-de León

Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: age and gender dynamics, drug use, racism (specifically, direct and frequent usage of several racial descriptors considered by most to be extremely offensive), sexual assault, violence, and weapons. It is impossible to discuss this book without also discussing politics, so please be aware of that and skip this one if you're not interested in hearing about anything political.

We read The Little Stranger this week at the request of our Patron Veronica as part of her Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select either the $5 or $10/month tier.

If you're into authentic post-war 1940s England, British class struggles, big 'ol houses that are falling apart, and ghosts, we've got the book for you! However, if you are anything like Paris and Chris, you may not like this one.

Content warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: classism, dog-on-child violence, euthanasia, ghosts, mental illness, racism, sexual assault, and suicide.

Get your bingo cards ready! We've invited the Antiques Freaks over to our place again to read yet another story from Carnacki the Ghost Finder. This time, we tackle The Gateway of the Monster. Chris treats us to some expert scoring and sound effects while Paris insults the entirety of the British isles with her awful fake accent.

Paris and Chris return to the very horny Midlands with our woods guide, TJ! He helped us out when we read Stone of Tears, and he was so invaluable that we put a Rada-Han on him and forced him to guide us through Blood of the Fold, too.

Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to the 2 other episodes we've done regarding the Sword of Truth series before starting this one:

• Episode 3 - Episode 03 - Wizard's First Rule (Sword of Truth Series Book #1) by Terry Goodkind
• Episode 22 - Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind (Sword of Truth Series Book #2) *Special Guest TJ Allen*

Our commentary on the first season of the ABC series adaptation of these books - the Legend of the Seeker - is is available on our Patreon if you need even more Sword of Truth content.

Content Warnings: Our usual barnyard language, plus: ageism, body shaming, sex, sexual assault, torture, and generalized violence.