Terrible Book Club

Chris asked a bookstore employee to take him to the worst book they had seen lately, so we ended up getting BLASTED by this BOOKSHOT from James Patterson.

Audio quality warning: Chris accidentally positioned Paris's mic backwards so her audio is gonna' be a bit roomier than normal. Sorry!

Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, we discuss murder, poisoning, use of the word gypsy, there are sounds of gunshots, and Paris gives a PSA about washing your goddamn hands before engaging in sexual activity. There are also mild spoilers for Malazan Book #3 - Memories of Ice when we have our good media discussion around 00:56 - 1:01.

Oops! Around 1:02 Paris says "anagram" when she meant to say "analogue."

Note for YouTube users: This originally aired on 2/18/2020 but had to be reuploaded on 6/2/2022 to resolve a copyright claim for a short piece of background music.

We learn to control everyone with this ONE WEIRD TRICK! Chris tries to hypnotize Paris into loving bad books. This material was so short and devoid of substance that we once again play a guessing game. This time, Paris creates a game based on Amazon book SEO for Chris to play that he christens Not on Top.

We begin this episode by arguing about tigers and lions and eventually make our way to discussing the mechanics of human and tiger-man mating.

This book as a whole wasn't totally terrible though it does rely on a lot of noir/private eye stereotypes.

Once again, friend-of-the-show Hillary spotted this book in the wild and donated it to us.

Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, we've got fighting, borderline beastiality, drug use, and racism.

Paris and Chris have had a long evening of crafting for the previous episode. They then try to work their way through Maze while in an exhausted, sleep-deprived state beginning after midnight.

Chances aren't good for these adventurers.

Will Paris and Chris solve the Maze, find Room 45, and escape back to Room 1? Or will they forever wander through this book as penance?

T'was the week before Christmas and all through the house, could be heard Paris and Chris shrieking, and not from a mouse.

There was so much Christmas cheer in this series that we had to call in our friends over at the Amazon Book Club to help us read it! Check out their episode that covers the first book, Christmas in Silver Bell Falls.

A Christmas Rescue was so flavorless and dull that we ended up talking about other stuff for the latter half the episode. We play a guessing game Chris designed called Power Rangers Monster or Weed Strain? followed by giving summaries of our Thanksgiving breaks - including a narration of everything that was wrong with the Air BnB Paris stayed in while she was in Montreal.

This psychological thriller didn't so much thrill us as annoy and infuriate us. Diary entries read like screenplays, the writing is bland overall, and ultimately the framing and plot have major issues. How does this book have such good ratings and reviews? Thanks to Chris's partner Rebecca for recommending this and donating her copy to the show.

Content warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, we've got descriptions of abuse, assaults, break-ins, drug use, murder, and flagrant ethical violations in professional/client interaction.

Audio quality warning: A bad XLR cable caused some crackling/static on Paris's track towards the end of the episode. We did as much as we could to mitigate this, but it is still audible. Apologies!

In this edition of Microwave Cooking for One in Space, we ascend with our arsenal of 200 microwaves. We're gonna' cook Mars just right.

We read the original Moon People four years ago in Episode 14. Thank you to listener Daniel Canady for this recommendation.

Content Warnings are light this week - just some mild sex and violence in addition to our usual barnyard language.

When D & Ken listened to 30 seconds of our podcast and told us we were good, we immediately invited them onto our show as guests and then got podcast married.

Our ghost moms warned us to, "Beware the Old-Stuff-Weirdos," but there's no way that refers to the Antiques Freaks.

D calls in their Patron debt and forces us to read Crimson Peak. We also watched Crimson Peak for Patrons.

Paris has already seen Crimson Peak once before and hated it. After a week steeped in Crimson Peak, Paris has the equivalent of 4 beers lined up for this recording because she's had enough of this damned film and its book counterpart.

Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, we discuss ghosts, gore, blood, sex, and incest.

Neither of us over at TBC are into "bizarro" fiction, but today we discover that this corner of literature exists and it sure lives up to its moniker.

The weirdest and creepiest thing about this episode is that...well, there were actually redeeming qualities about this book. Yes - a book called The Haunted Vagina wasn't the worst thing we've ever read. The author somehow managed to create believable characters in a very unbelievable world.

Content Warnings: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. In addition to our usual barnyard language, we've got: graphic sex, macabre things happening in conjunction with that sex, and extreme body horror (including vore).

Thank you to Carol for recommending this one!