That Dear Diary,

In this video I get uncomfortably vulnerable with the truth of my healing process after my experiences with sexual abuse, sexual assault, and sexual harassment. Within this journey I adapted and adopted unhealthy attitudes and toxic ideals that cemented me in a state of fear. I desperately needed to accept that the dishonesty exhibited towards my trauma and the dismissal of my experiences has never served my highest evolution. I deserve to be seen, I deserve to be heard, I deserve to be understood, I deserve to be happy. Although I am still in the process of healing, every step forward has only returned me back to the authentic nature of myself. I will never stay where I have been forced and I allow my heart to carve the path for me. I mean it when I say it; I am no longer living in a state of survival, it's time to fucking live.

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby  https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin

In this video I talk you through my process of straying away from the conventional paths of success and ultimately deciding to choose myself. I was tired of being tired, forcing myself to remain stagnant within my comfortability for way too long to the point that it got uncomfortable. I realized that I was living in a state of fear, constantly preparing for the worst - but I no longer want to survive, I want to fucking live. I released any sense of control and decided to submit and surrender to the flow of the Universe, which ultimately always resides within me anyways. I trust that I can handle anything that comes my way, the same way I have always handled everything else that came my way. This is the beginning of that process for me, let's see where it goes :)

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby  https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin

A manifestation for you: 

"I choose to be the Emperor. I earned my seat at the table and I ground myself in peace knowing that I offer extraordinary things. I choose to believe that I am supported. I choose to believe that I am protected. I choose to believe that I am guided. I choose to follow the inner guidance of the Universe within me. I am whole and I am so deserving of the beauty within this life. I Trust Myself, I Always Know. I am at the right place, at the right time, all the time, everytime. I am exactly where and who I need to be. I am Divinely Aligned with my Life Path and Soul Mission. Everything is always working out best case scenario.  I accept and integrate this truth into all of my, (your name), dimensions, generations, planes of existence, realities, and timelines now. I accept and integrate this Truth into my, (your name), Earthly, material, physical, tangible, 3D reality now.  It is simple, it is effortless, it is!  So be it." 

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin

just a story time ab how a stubborn hot girl got herself in a sticky situation, all because she didn't listen to the Universe :) enj  

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby  https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin

The perfectionist ego within me constantly and consistently wants to control the conversation. In the midst of all of the guilt, pain, and shame I forget that healing is NEVER linear and progress is HARD. Then you get stuck in this infinite thought loop of asking why - but not answering it. It's hard for me to remember that changing your mind is NOT the same thing as changing your habits. It is so much easier to intellectualize a concept than it is to emotionally understand it & have it physically show through your actions.  In this video I talk about releasing the patterns of negative self-talk in trade for awareness, patience, and kindness. The journey of becoming the best version of yourself won't ever just be simple and straightforward, it takes a lot of courage to confront your shadow, change your norms, and admit that the things that once protected us before no longer serve us now. This was just one of those moments for me.

"You don't ever really lose, you either win or learn," - a very smart friend

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby  https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin

everyone has the desire to be loved and understood. sometimes the chase to create a symbiotic relationship between ourselves and society can manifest itself in unhealthy ways, exchanging our authenticity for acceptance. in this video I talk about the process of losing myself, taking accountability for my discontent, and leaving what I once knew in order to create something better. change invites challenging discomfort and debilitating fear, but most importantly, freedom. freedom from the any kind of cemented identity, freedom to be all that you already are. remember that you are not your mind, you are not your emotions, you are not your body - no definition or label can define you. allow this transformation to wash over you. be aware, forgiving, kind, and patient towards who you have been, who you are now, and who you will be. allow yourself to envision the world that you want, then create ways to make that dream a reality. live the waking dream.  

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step," - Lao Tzu.  

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby  https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin

You are allowed to have boundaries and you are allowed to have standards. The ability to say, "no", should not be thought of as a privileged gift - it is your inherent right to value, honor, and respect your true, authentic soul. If there is ever a sense of uncomfortability to say no, question that sentiment of anxiety that precedes or follows the desire to state your true feelings. Understand that this world functions off of freewill and those who try to make you feel guilty for choosing something other than what they want - do not deserve to be in your life, period. If they do not respect your autonomy - they do not deserve to be in your life, period. Don't allow others to manipulate you into doing something that does not align with your highest self, don't allow yourself to be manipulated into doing something that does not align with your highest self.

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby  https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin

in this video I talk about the dangers of being nice over being kind and it's implementations in the grand scheme of things. we talk about disrespecting your integrity for the fear of acting against an accepted norm. we also contemplate that just because something is comfortably accepted doesn't mean that it deserves its validity. we have to be willing to question, speak, and act against things that are morally wrong - in this way we can help others become the best versions of themselves.

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby  https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin

i might say this every week but i'm not kidding, this was seriously one of the most enlightening experiences of my life thus far. 10/10 would not wanna learn it again, i know now, i got the message, thank you universe hehehehehe

I ALSO WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I HAD TO EDIT THIS TWICE BECAUSE I DELETED THE FINISHED PRODUCT THE FIRST TIME BUCJUCIW, 9 hours GONE LIKE THAT. what a valuable lesson I might add, now I know to slow down and double check before I mindlessly delete sum smh  

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby  https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin

this was a big a$$ lesson for me and i'd love to share it w you guys   

My wish for you is that you guys gain enough courage to be your true, authentic self. Healing isn't easy, healing is definitely scary, and sometimes it is exhausting. In spite of it all, my wish for you is to understand that you are an investment worth developing. Allow yourself to thrive and you will.

as ALWAYS I love everyone, I hope you guys find peace and love. I hope you choose happiness ❤️✨  comment, like, subscribe, share - whateva is always appreciated. ALSO if you're down to chat about anything I am always open to it! message me anywhere and i'll be there.

> follow me on instagram if u want baby  https://www.instagram.com/christinavvin/

> follow my podcast "That Dear Diary," if u want baby https://open.spotify.com/show/1edk4HY...

> https://anchor.fm/christina_vvin