That's Not How I'd Do It

As always, we're tearing down old boundaries. This week we're tearing down actual boundaries. Talking about walls here people! What are they made of? How big should they be? Is Walmart a wall? What about Christoph Waltz? What is a wall anyway? And what's on the other side? (Spoiler: it's more walls).

Ah, summer. School's out, the sun is shining, the surf is good, and...hey! There's sand in my shoes! Will someone please smear some sunscreen down my hairy back? No? Ok, I hope I don't miss any spots. Anyway I'll just lay down and relax, this looks like a perfect spot. Oh, wait a minute. Oh my. I just set my towel down on what looks like a jellyfish wrapped in a used condom. You know what, I'll just head home and do something else with my day....like sit in beach traffic. Ugh. I HATE THE BEACH!

Kick off your shoes, take off those belts, and put your laptops in the provided bins, and get your sexy self ready to be scanned, TSA style! What does TSA stand for anyway? Here's some possibilities: Toothpaste Searchers Anonymous, Toronto Sports Arena, Tacos Samosas Arepas, Terrorist Stoppers Association, Too Sexy Authority, The Sloppy Asses, Taylor Swift Appreciators, "Tubular!" said Albert, Tuna Sardines Anchovies.

If you have any suggestions for future episodes, go ahead and tweet to us at @thatsnotpod. You can also drop us a line at [email protected].

A special thanks this week to TSA Precheck.

LET'S GET RIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPED!

If you have any suggestions for future episodes, go ahead and tweet to us at @thatsnotpod. You can also drop us a line at [email protected].

A special thanks this week to our pecs!

It's not the crime, it's the cover up. This week we shine a light on the true story behind the Watergate scandal. Or you know, what the story would be like if it were up to us. Here's a hint: Nixon is a giant cockroach who is also made of cockroaches and has sex with cockroaches. There's also plenty of celebrity teen assassins and references to controversial pornography. If you're going to challenge the official story, be sure to corroborate your sources. We have three.

Travel back to a time when you were popping pimples, your voice was cracking, you started looking at your opposite gendered classmates differently, and some orthodontist shoved your mouth full of metal. We can't tackle all of puberty, but we can take a look at braces and see if there's not an adjustment or two that we can make.

Join our expedition into the Pacific Northwest where we finally track down the allusive Bigfeet, keeper of age old wisdom and mysteries. Mostly we just ask him about sex stuff.

I'd write some show notes here if I weren't so goddamned hungover. Suggestions blah blah blah tweet @thatsnotpod blah blah blah [email protected]. A special thanks this week to the Los Angeles culinary institution Cinco De Mayo.

Hmmm...I wonder if I left anything in here?

Heavy. Black. Death. Doom. Funeral. No, this week's episode isn't about America's future, it's about metal! We are joined this week by Greg Acampora, drummer for the instrumental doom stoner metal band Clouds Taste Satanic. We debate whether or not Celine Dion would be a good metal singer, what other sub-genres of metal could exist, and come up with the best metal band name of all time.