This week on The Two Montys the boys recap the chaos of Haron’s wedding weekend in Glen Innes. What could have been a simple country wedding turned into rain, glamping tents, fireworks confusion, excavator entrances and significantly more.

Monty breaks down the behind-the-scenes chaos of officiating the wedding, including a Law & Order: SVU inspired opening, a whip-cracking entrance, and the moment he realised the wedding questionnaire answers might have been a trap.

Plus: country show adventures, KFC drive-thru survival, tent-pegging discoveries, and why small towns operate on their own very relaxed timeline.

No guest this week, just the Montys unpacking one of the wildest wedding weekends they’ve ever been part of.

Topics in this episode: wedding stories, wedding celebrant, Australian weddings, country weddings, comedy podcast, behind the scenes weddings, wedding planning disasters.

This week is what happens when you lock two blokes in a room with microphones and no real plan. Monty’s firing off about hotel check-in times that make zero sense, online payment platforms holding money hostage, banks “processing” transfers like it’s 1987, and the absolute audacity of charging $10 for four prawns.

We get into gym niggles vs actual injuries, fake conference business ideas, wedding cocktail logistics, being “fully booked” (apparently that means 40 weddings now?), Instagram comparison traps, three-wedding days, travel chaos, crusty sourdough toasties, and why prawns should come peeled. It’s thoughtful. It’s unfiltered. It’s loosely wedding-adjacent at best.

No big takeaways. No neat bow. Just rants, tangents and the slow realisation that maybe we’ve run out of notes.

See you next Tuesday.

Episode 109 is a proper loose one.

We kick off with some very questionable hand–eye coordination, throw in a bad back from picking up a phone charger, and somehow end up deep in the weeds about wedding vendors yelling “fully booked” into the void. Is it marketing? Is it ego? Is it just creating urgency? We’ve got thoughts.

From first day of school nerves and tap dancing flashbacks to Bunnings gift cards, wedding cash etiquette, and the eternal struggle of writing ceremonies without waffling for 25 minutes… it’s a ride. There’s also a surprisingly honest chat about using ChatGPT in business, online visibility, reviews, and whether being great at what you do even matters if Google can’t see you.

It’s weddings. It’s parenting. It’s business. It’s mildly unhinged in places. Classic.

If you’re a celebrant, vendor, creative, or just here for the chaos, you’ll feel right at home.

This week, we cover absolutely everything and solve absolutely nothing.

There’s a drag race with teenagers at the lights, a deep dive into why ChatGPT rankings can’t be trusted, and a wedding so hot it nearly ended in heatstroke. Plus: Disney dealbreakers on Tinder, group chat oversharing, marketplace negotiations, first days of high school, and possibly the greatest wedding addition of all time, beer donkeys.

We also unpack how AI decides who the “top rated” wedding vendors are (and why some of us are suspiciously missing), questionable costume choices for an upcoming wedding, and the realities of celebrating love in 41-degree heat.

It’s loose. It’s mildly unhinged. It’s Episode 108.

No plan, no prep, and somehow a full episode appears anyway.

This week we cover the highs and mild panic of a charity wedding auction going right at the last possible second, questionable restaurant pricing (who is paying $42 for a cauliflower?), first days of high school, school zones with no kids, parking inspectors doing what they do best, and the slow realisation that getting older is mostly just comparing ailments.

There’s also wedding outfits, compressed watermelon, McDonald’s nuggets, fitness chat, unsolicited opinions, and the usual amount of nonsense.

As always, absolutely no structure and far too much confidence.
Explicit as hell. You’ve been warned.

This episode goes completely off the rails when Jeremy casually reveals he’s been recording smut and somehow thinks this is a normal, scalable business idea.

What follows is a deranged brainstorm involving anonymous submissions, monetising filth, whether you can sell erotica for the price of a Snickers, and the uncomfortable realisation that this may be the most organised anyone’s ever been on the show. Along the way there are finger tattoos, rogue gothic messages, real estate agents, questionable life choices, and Lincoln quietly absorbing psychic damage while editing.

Unstructured. Unfiltered. Unexpectedly horny in a purely theoretical sense.
Probably the worst idea we’ve ever encouraged. Which makes it one of the best episodes.

This week is… loose.
The boys are joined by Scott, a longtime friend, barber and accidental elite gymnast, who immediately regrets coming on.

There’s heated debate over who introduced who, whether Grafton is good actually, competitive gymnastics at an international level, getting kicked off dating apps in record time, and several moments that absolutely should have been cut (but weren’t). Add in therapy talk, questionable metaphors, and the usual complete lack of fact-checking, and you’ve got a classic episode.

As always, some names may have been beeped, some probably should have been, and nothing is resolved.

Listener discretion is strongly advised.

Episode 104 is loose from the jump.

We kick things off with a truly criminal rendition of Country Roads, immediately derail into unsolicited life updates, and then welcome back our long-suffering friend Jeremy Bell, who somehow agreed to return after last time. From there it’s a rapid descent into charity auction victories, deeply questionable Bible verses, awkward family hypotheticals, rogue religious grandparents, cursed sponsorships in women’s sport, 3D-printed novelty car parts, dating app psych experiments, and a story that absolutely did not need witnesses.

It’s chaotic, inappropriate, occasionally insightful, and very much on brand. Listener discretion is advised. Or don’t. We didn’t.

The charity wedding auction is back for 2026.

This episode is all about our annual charity wedding auction, where one couple can score a wedding worth around $80k–$100k by bidding at auction, with all proceeds going directly to charity.

AUCTION DETAILS
📍 Adam’s Peak (as part of the Seidu Wedding Trail)
📅 Sunday 18 January
🕓 Auction starts at 4:00pm
🕐 Open day runs from 1:00–5:00pm
💻 Online bidding available (must register with us beforehand)

The winning couple will have their wedding booked for Friday 24 July 2026, with an incredible lineup of Newcastle and Hunter Valley wedding vendors all donating their services. A 10% booking deposit is required on the day, with the remaining balance paid directly to the charity over the following months.

This year we’re raising money for the Hunter Breast Cancer Foundation, supporting women and families affected by breast cancer across our region.

If you’re getting married, know someone who is, or just want to support a bloody good cause, get in touch via Instagram to register to bid or find out more.

And yes, it’s still a ridiculous bargain.

Editor Note: Quick heads up, we’re taking a short break over the holidays. If you want to see us in the wild, come along to the Two Montys Charity Auction at Adams Peak. Back soon.

From scavenger hunts and karaoke chaos to why most wedding speeches are far too long, this episode is a very honest, very loose conversation about what works, what absolutely doesn’t, and the moments guests remember long after the night ends.

If you’re planning a wedding, working in events, or just enjoy behind-the-scenes wedding chat with a bit of swearing and zero polish, this one’s for you.