The A to Z of Sex

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is B and B is for Book Burning – Part 2 of my Interview with Mama Viola Johnson. Part one is on Sex Spoken Here vlog on YouTube or there is the podcast only version as well.

I had the privilege of interviewing Mama Vi Johnson when I was at Master slave Conference in August 2018. Viola Johnson is a leather woman, vampire and author who has been active in the leather BDSM scene for over three decades. A mentor and confidante to many in the fetish world, she has a special fondness for the ‘boys’ of our community, and those who choose to serve as slaves and sub missives. Viola is the wife of Jill Carter, International Ms Leather 1996.

Viola had the distinction of winning the “Lifetime Achievement Award” from Pantheon of Leather and The National Leather Association, making her the only person to receive both awards in the same year. In August of 2007 she was honored with the first Lifetime Achievement Award given by Black Beat. Viola is also the recipient of the Pantheon of Leather “Woman of the Year” award, The Jack Stice Award and the Slave Heart Award.

In January 2012, Viola received within 8 days of the Master Steve’s Golden Paintbrush Awards at Southwest Leather Conference in Arizona and the Leather Leadership Award at the Creating Change Conference in Baltimore sponsored by the Gay & Lesbian Task Force. Viola is the author of two books, Dhampir and To Love, To Obey, To Serve. Currently, she is working on her third book, a follow up To Love, To Obey, To Serve

Mama Vi and her wife Jill Carter started and hosted the Carter Johnson Leather library. It has a home in Indiana and a variety of outposts. Sections of the library are taken to many events so that the public can learn from the original source material about our leather and sexual history.

We started this part of the interview asking what is going to happen if people are not taught to think critically. Viola talks about starting her teaching career in 1973 at the cusp of moving from teaching learning and teaching to the test. This was the point at which the received wisdom was that children must be promoted with chronological peer group rather than accommodating learning abilities.

We move from education to talk about the fact that if you can’t evaluate information you can’t risk assess and if you can’t risk assess you make poor choices. We talk about the fact that people are pre-disposed to categorise but we can learn to look at a continuum if we are taught to do so. We talk about the first four years of life and the fact that sexual development starts at birth. We talk about the development that occurs in childhood. If we don’t support this development, difficulties develop. It is easy to support this development but we don’t talk about it.

We moved to preventing shame and why this is important. We move to talking about fears around fascism in America. We end on my question ‘Why aren’t people doing something about this?’

Thanks for listening to the A to Z of Sex Ò this week.

Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at [email protected] and I will answer on the show.

Follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Bisbey.

For a free 30-minute strategy session with me, go to https://atozofsex.com/ and click the button that says Schedule Now! See you next week when the letter will be c.

Please enjoy again: A is for Anal

Hi everyone! Welcome to the second series of the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is A and A is for Anal.

In heterosexual couples, anal play and anal sex are often seen as difficult to approach or even taboo. For many, anal play and anal sex are seen as kinky and reserved for only those partner who they are most committed to. Some of my clients did not save their virginity for their husband but did save their anal virginity for their husband!

There is stigma around heterosexual men who enjoy anal stimulation. Often they worry that they are bisexual or gay. They can become concerned about how their women will view them and whether they will be seen as submissive. Some men who enjoy anal stimulation and anal sex (pegging) are submissive. Others are not.

People have many health concerns relating to anal play and anal sex. HIV is more easily transmitted through anal sex because the lining of the anus means there are more likely to be slight skin breaks and this way the virus gains entry into the blood stream. Because fecal material exits the body through the anus, there is often some still inside and so any oral anal play runs the risk of all the infections carried in poop. Condoms, finger cots (for those 1 finger adventures), gloves and dental dams are essential to preventing transmission of infections. Many people like the feel of lamb skin condoms but these can be virus permeable so don’t rely on them for protection from infection. Oil based lubricants on latex condoms are a problem so stick to water based or silicone (which stays slippery longer). Don’t use condoms with spermicide as this will irritate the membrane.

Don’t move from anal play to vaginal or oral play without washing with antibacterial soap. This goes for using fingers, dicks, dildos, fists.

Anal sex can be extremely erotic but people are often put off because they are afraid it will be painful. The job of the anus is to expel waste so the motion is to push poop out. When you are engaging in anal play, you are doing the opposite – you are pushing things in and you want the anus to relax somewhat in order to allow the fingers, tongue, toys or dick inside. If you move too quickly, your anus can go into spasm and this can hurt intensely.

The anus is richly populated with nerve endings and these nerves are connected to the rest of the pelvic region. It also contracts rhythmically when you have an orgasm.

The sphincter is made up of two rings of muscle and they function independently. The outside muscle or the external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system so you can easily tense and relax it whenever you want. The internal muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system which also controls response to stress amongst other things. This muscle reacts badly to fear and anxiety so if even if you are trying to relax, it will tense up automatically if you are frightened or anxious. It is worth it to spend time learning all you need to know to decrease anxiety and fear before engaging in anal sex. If you go slowly and are prepared you are far more likely to have a good time. You can learn voluntary control of the internal muscle. This is a gradual process and starts with becoming aware of the muscle.

Since poop is often in the anus, it can be a good idea to make sure you are extra clean and the best way to do this is to do an enema which will clean you out completely. If someone is going to be penetrating the anus with fingers, make sure nails are cut short and filed smooth.

You will have the best results if you are already very turned on before you start experimenting. Analingus can be easiest to manage. This is when someone licks and...

Z is for Master Black Zeus

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is Z and Z is for Master Black Zeus.

I had the opportunity interview Master Black Zeus during Master Slave Conference 2018. He is a community elder who entered the leather community in 1986 when he was mentored and introduced into the community by a gay leatherman who he rode motorcycles with. Like many who engage in BDSM and/or are part of the leather community, he began his journey anonymously so as not to cause problems in his daily life. He entered the public scene in 1997 by joining Black Rose and attending a number of classes and events. He developed a website and began to host regular online educational events. He is a member of MAsT Las Vegas and hosts the ISA Network video conferences.

We started by talking about his entry into the leather community. He spoke about being the lone heterosexual black male in places he went to and not really meeting any other people of colour until 1996.

He talked about being mentored by dominant women of colour. He spoke about learning from Lady Z by watching and then experiencing by doing. He spoke of learning from Mistress Max Rulz and then coming into Black Beat which was one of the first conferences that was for people of colour. He spoke about Goddess Lakshimi, Lady D and Mama Vi and Mistress Mir. He said that ‘These ladies were instrumental in my learning’. We spoke about the change in the number of people of colour attending events now.

We moved on to talking about authority transfer based relationships, BDSM, kink and looking at the history of leather which comes out of the gay community.

We spoke about consent being for dominant and submissive. Consent for both sides. We spoke about establishing exit criteria at the beginning of a relationship so that people are comfortable with the transition.

We continued by talking about the content of Dominant/submissive (D/s) and Master/slave (M/s) relationships.

Part two of this interview is on Sex Spoken Here vlog (YouTube) and podcast.

Master Black Zeus can be found at blackzeus.net

Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at [email protected] and I will answer on the show.

Follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.

For a free 30-minute strategy session with me, go to https://atozofsex.com/ and click the button that says Schedule Now! See you next week when the letter will be A.

Please enjoy again: Y is for Yoni

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is Y and Y is for Yoni.

Yoni is a term that comes from Sanskrit and means womb, uterus, vagina, vulva, abode and source. In Hindu philosophy, Yoni is the beginning of life.

Joining me today to talk about all things Yoni is Michele Brookhaus.

Michele Brookhaus RSHom(NA), CCH, passionately embraces her mission as Yoni whisperer and soother of all things feminine. As Creator of Yoni Bliss, a homeopathic medicinal as well as a personal exploration and healing of both the physical and metaphysical vulva/womb, she fiercely acknowledges the power of the Yoni to direct and defend woman’s innate creativity and capacity for unbounded pleasure, wisdom and satisfaction.

20 years a homeopath and healer she studies with world renowned teachers in the fields of homeopathy, energy healing, neurolinguistic programming and other modalities. She loves honing her skills and is a healer of healers and mentor of mentors.

As a thought leader picked up by Huffington Post, Prevention, the Good Men Project, as well as Thought Catalogue, The Vaccine Reaction and Yahoo Parenting, she is tickled to find herself on the forefront of women’s empowerment, helping women remember and find the truth in, and the possibility of pleasure, fun and satisfaction.

Yoni Bliss chose her as CEO (chief exhilaration officer), because she has come to KNOW that enough is enough. Her own Yoni has rooted her in this knowing. And so she offers not just a product, but classes, retreats, individual sessions both virtually and in person for women wishing to know this for themselves. Sensual, Wise, Satisfied, that’s her call to you.

Michele lives in the Pacific Northwest, and her 23 year old inspirational son does too (though far enough away so she doesn’t bug him too much0 She loves Bikram yoga, Salsa dancing, and listening to her Yoni.

Welcome to the show!

We started by talking about the idea of Yoni as source and how it is so important to be connected into the yoni. We spoke about this being the centre for women and that this is the location of the root chakra. Yoni is centre of creativity and of balance and that this applies whether or not a woman has children.

We spoke about the lack of rites of passage in modern times and how the information that would have been passed on about sex and pleasure in the past through these rites is often not being passed on. We spoke about the importance of these rites in transitions and how new ones might be created. We talked a lot about dealing with the grief often held in the Yoni and Michele said that she chose her remedies in Yoni’s Bliss to focus on grief and irritability.

Michele spoke about the wise woman crone and how that image has changed as we are now living longer and how important it is that we teach younger women and lead by example.

Michele can be found at http://www.yonisbliss.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YonisBliss/?ref=bookmarks

Twitter: @yonisbliss

Michele offers a free 20 minute consultation to see if a VIP (very important pussy) day is in order.

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex. Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn how to awaken your authenticity, arouse your sexuality and ignite your desire.

For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review on iTunes and/or Sticher and please subscribe! Join me next week when the letter will be Z.

X is for eXamine

Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is X and X is for eXamine.

Today we are examining some of the myths around homosexuality and paedophilia that have been raised in light of the scandals in the Catholic Church.

Today I’m joined by my bff, Melanie Gorman, who is the senior VP of Yourtango Experts. Yourtango is a major platform that provides advice in the form of blogs, articles, and videos to people who want help with love, relationships, sex and life. She is a Master’s level relationship therapist and a business and relationship coach. She co-developed a coaching program based on the work of Dr John Gray, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus for those of you not familiar with his name. From there she became the director of operations for the MarsVenus sites. She has been working with Yourtango since 2009, having started by helping their visionary team create the Expert’s Platform.

We started by talking about the difference between paedophilia and homosexuality and making a clear distinction. We continued talking about some of the issues raised in the run up to the DSM V and the distinction between acting on the urge and not acting on the urge.

We discussed how upsetting it is that the answer to dealing with this widespread abuse seems to be calling it a ‘gay thing’ (which it is not) or ‘as the result of celibacy’ (which it is not). Melanie described the theory about celibacy that is being put forward and I disputed this theory. In my view, two types of paedophiles enter the priesthood: Ones who are simply predators and see this as a good place to find prey and ones who are looking to the church to help them to control their impulses – as the structure requires celibacy and for the priest to focus on other aspects of life and forego erotic, sexual and romantic thoughts, activities and relationships.

Melanie talked about how hard it is to be a Catholic in the midst of all of this and how embarrassing she finds it as the church does not seem to be able to address these issues head on and transparently.

We talked about the necessity to do the work that needs to be done so that victims are not being created and that they are able to heal fully. We spoke about how almost impossible it is to change someone’s sexual orientation because the urge is so strong and gratification is built in. We spoke about changing behaviour which is at least possible.

We spoke about how betrayed Catholics feel by the Church’s refusal to be transparent and their lack of success in routing out all of the perpetrators as well as their inability to make the space safe again for parishioners.

Melanie spoke about the training she had to undergo just to be able to keep score for her son’s hockey team which includes training about grooming and paedophilia. It amazed both of us that the church is not able to implement a full effective training programme when there is so clearly a lot of this going on in the secular world.

The main myth that we disputed:

The myth that gay and paedophile are linked.

This is entirely untrue.

Gay is attracted to the same sex.

Paedophile is attracted to children (who cannot give consent).

Many people talk about power differentials but the crucial point is that paedophiles are attracted to children not adults.

Melanie invited listeners to submit other myths or stereotypes for me to talk about on the show and debunk if possible. So please send these in.

The DSM-5 and DSM-4 mentioned are the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, edition 5, and 4 respectively.

Thanks for joining me for the A to Z of Sex this week. Write to me...

W is for Writing

Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is W and W is for Writing.

I had the opportunity to record a wide variety of people at Master slave Conference 2018 over Labour Day weekend in the United States. I recorded this episode with Jaki Griot while I was there. In 2006, Jaki found the local BDSM community through the TNG movement and served on the Steering Committee for the Next Generation, Baltimore for 6 years. Jaki worked for http://peplove.com/ (PEPlove.com (People Exchanging Power))

http://peplove.com/ (as a phone dominant and sex counselor. Jaki worked at Sugar the Shop (a woman and trans operated adult toy store) as a sex education. Since 2007, Jaki Griot has taught classes for local and antional organisations including but not limited to: Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA) , Dark Odyssey Winter Fire, Dark Odyssey Fusion, Floating World, Baltimore Educational Social Society (BESS), BlackBeat, FetFest, Primal Arts, TNG Baltimore , DCTNG and Touch of Flavour. Her published erotica and essays related to kink and BDSM appear in Salacious Magazine, Sacred Kink Anthology, Carter/Johnson Leather Library and the National Coaltion for Sexual Freedom.)

We started by talking about Jaki’s involvement in TNG Baltimore and how this lead to exploring many facets of kink and BDSM. We moved from there to talking about the many projects Jaki has been involved with. Jaki enjoys connecting with many different types of people from all walks of life.. She is an activist and works to see people of colour, women, disabled people, people of all body shapes and sizes, and people of all ethnicities represented in the BDSM, kink, polyamory and leather communities. One of her main goals is to help people from these groups to have a voice. Her new zine (online and in print) Perverts of Color provides a platform for essays, erotica, and art.. Jaki spoke about wanting upcoming issues to also focus on how people who have disabilities including neurological ones and including those who simply think differently experience sexuality, kink, BDSM, leather and the wider communities..

Jaki spoke about creating a space for all these communities by being willing to talk to people and interact with people.

Perverts of Color : Goal to have this bimonthly for at least a year.. It costs digital $3 and print $6

http://etsy.com/kinkartblack/

There are interviews, stories, art, original photography.. There are also resources such as ways to find doctors, therapists, lawyers etc who are kink aware and/or friendly.

Thanks for joining me for the A to Z of Sex this week. Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at [email protected] , follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.

For a free 30-minute discovery session with me, go to https://the-intimacy-coach.com/ and head to my contact page to click on my calendar and schedule directly.

If you enjoy the show please leave me a review on iTunes and Stitcher. Join me next week for the letter X.

V is for Voyeur

Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is V and V is for Voyeur .

Voyeur has two main meanings. The most commonly known is a person who gains sexual pleasure from watching others who are naked or engaged in sexual activity. The lesser known meaning is a person who gains pleasure from observing or watching the distress or pain of others.

The most commonly talked about voyeur is the peeping Tom. They are someone who spies on others while they are undressing or naked or engaged in sexual activity and does so while hidden in the shadows and without consent. My experience is that most voyeurs enjoy watching with consent and don’t hide in the shadows.

Joining me to talk about voyeurism and it’s opposite, exhibitionism, is my husband, TJ Scott. TJ Scott is retired teamster who worked for 26 years at Omega Cinema Props, the largest privately owned prop house in the US. He is a part time percussionist and artist. He currently works at Otford Boarding Kennels in Kent, UK. TJ describes himself as an African American military brat and a southerner. He identifies as a bisexual polyamorous leather Master and is strongly primal.

We talked about voyeurism from a sexual standpoint – how the observer can change the interaction sometimes and how some would argue will always change the interaction. We talked about pornography which TJ calls static voyeurism. We spoke about people who engage through their voyeurism and those who are voyeurs because engaging with humans directly is too difficult. We spoke about consent and non-consenually voyeurism. We spoke about energy and boundaries and how much fun the dynamic between voyeur and exhibitionist can be.

We spoke about the photographer as a voyeur and talked about people watching in general.

TJ can be found on Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/Drakenoir

FetLife: Morloki

Instagram @drumdragon

Thanks for joining me for the A to Z of Sex this week. Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at [email protected] , follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.

For a free 30-minute discovery session with me, go to https://the-intimacy-coach.com/ and head to my contact page to click on my calendar and schedule directly.

If you enjoy the show please leave me a review on iTunes and Stitcher. Join me next week for the letter W.

U is for Unity

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is U and U is for Untold Stories.

History is important. From the past we learn. We are learn best from stories and yet so many of them remain untold. Joining me todayt is Mistress Nia. She is a service-oriented Dominant and teacher whose style of leadership is “First Among Equals.” She has been active in BDSM since 2005 and female – led household offers opportunities for discipline, education and service. Nia identifies as a Leatherwoman and is a member of the Sterling Shadow Continuum (SSC) and Mast Dayton and serves a sthe chaplain of La Meute de Rougaroux (The Rougarou Pack). She is also a budding presenter in her local community, having recently given her first presentation for SSC. Mistress Nia resides in Southwest Ohio.

We started by talking about the Black lesbian history that has been erased. During the initial AIDS crisis, many of the sick and dying men were cared for by lesbians. When their families wouldn’t come near them. When they were afraid to touch them. These women cleaned their homes, took them to doctor’s appointments, picked up medication, sat with them and often buried them.

Mistress Nia spoke about the challenges facing these leather women and other women now. She talked about breast cancer, cervical cancer, ovarian cancer and that the men that they cared for are dead so there is no one to care for them.

We spoke about the lack of education and awareness. The fact that this epidemic of STI’s is not over and that too many younger people are taking risks without knowing all the facts.

We talked about how simple it would be to get a breast cancer mobile out to the Pride marches and events along side the van that tested for HIV and AIDS.

We pledged to raise awareness and to educate. To provide outreach

If you want to connect with Mistress Nia, she can be found on FetLife.com.

Thanks for joining me for the A to Z of Sex.

Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at [email protected] and I will answer on the show.

Follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.

For a free 30-minute strategy session with me, go to https://atozofsex.com/ and click the button that says Schedule Now! See you next week when the letter will be V.

Please enjoy again:

T is for Tattoo.

Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is T and T is for Tattoo and Scarification Trigger warning: I am going to talk about branding later in the show.

The word tattoo comes from the Tahitian ‘tatu’ which means ‘to mark something’. Tattooing has existed since Neolithic times. We know this because of the ancient art that has been discovered, mummified – yes mummified skin, and the archeological record. In fact even older tattoo tools and art has been found which suggests tattooing started in the upper paleolithic time in Europe but we don’t have the evidence on skin until the 4th millennium (4000) BC. Ötzi the Iceman (dated between 3370 and 3100 BC) is the oldest example of tattooing on mummified skin.

Tattooed mummies have been recovered from at least another 49 sites throughout the world. Locations include: Alaska, Greenland, Siberia, China, Mongolia, Philippines, Egypt, Sudan, the Andes.

Tattooing has been used to identify criminals and describe their crimes in a number of cultures including Chinese, Greek and Roman. Tattooing by the Nazis was done as a means of humiliating, dehumanising and identifying the Jews, homosexuals and Gypsies sent to the death camps. Tattooing has been used for religious and spiritual reasons in tribal cultures, Hindu, Egypt, Syria, Japan (including the native Aïnu people), Copts, Thailand, Celts.

Many people from modern spiritual subcultures (pagan, western magicians for example) tattoo for spiritual purposes as well.

All tattooing is painful. Some more painful than others. For many cultures, tattooing was, and still is, a rite of passage rather than just marking a rite of passage. In a variety of cultures, large tattoos marked the move from adolescence to adulthood. In modern culture, many people now observe this tradition and tattoo to mark rites of passage and honour ancestors.

So what does tattooing have to do with sex you ask? Lots!

Ask any person who has been tattooed for more than 15 or 20 minutes, and you will be told that at some point in the painful process, they began to feel high. Endorphins and adrenalin are released when a person is being tattooed. For people who are masochistic (gain pleasure from some types of pain), this high can also include sexual arousal.

Tattoos are used in some parts of the BDSM subculture as marks of ownership. Submissives or slaves may be tattooed with the mark of their dominants or masters.

Research done by at a university in Poland in 2017 surveyed 2369 women and 215 men. They showed them images of tattooed and non-tattooed men to figure out whether people found tattoos more attractive. They discovered that tattoos didn’t increase attractiveness for the women but women did see the tattooed men as more dominant, and masculine. For the men, tattoos did increase attractiveness.

Tattoos have become more mainstream since the 1990s and now many people see them as sexy. There is lots of variation as to how many tattoos and where they are placed. Women are still more negatively judged than men with tattoos, but mainstream culture has grown to embrace tattoos. There is still a stereotype that suggests tattooed women are more promiscuous so men are more likely to approach them for sex.

In sexual subcultures, tattoos are more appreciated. Beauty is defined differently than in the mainstream culture and this is where tattoos really shine when it comes to attracting positive sexual attention.

Women who have tattoos are seen to be more creative which suggests the possibility of creativity with sex. You have to be able to withstand pain in order to be tattooed. And...

Please enjoy again:

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is S and S is for Sexless Marriage.

Sexless marriages take many forms and have a huge impact on all relationships. Joining me today to discuss this issue is renowned clinical sexologist, Dr. Patti Britton. Dr Patti is a Clinical Sexologist, Sexuality Educator and the Pioneer of Sex Coaching with top level credentials. As a well-respected world leader in the field of sexology, she is the author of hundreds of articles, four amazing books, and is former columnist for Penthouse Forum. Dr. Patti is a Your Tango expert, popular speaker, sought-after trainer and workshop leader, blogs on her own websites and hosts over 40 DVDs for women’s and couples’ sexual enhancement. Her media record includes appearances on national television shows, documentaries, live talk and news radio, and with frequent quotes in magazines, such as Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Glamour, Men’s Fitness, WebMD, AOL Health. She has a private practice in Los Angeles and via Skype globally. Dr. Patti is the Co-Founder of SexCoachU, the world’s premier credentialing and training institute for sex coaching. She is the author of a female-friendly erotic novel and an expert on porn/erotica from a woman’s perspective. She co-hosts a dynamic weekly radio show for the boomer generation at: TheBoomDoctors.com. When she is not speaking at summits, or on media, or leading trainings in Los Angeles for her tribe, she and her partner Robert travel the world leading transformational sexology intensives while curating erotic art imagery wherever they go!

Thanks for joining me! We spoke about the pandemic and how a large percentage of clients enter coaching and therapy because of varying levels of sexlessness. Dr Patti pointed out that the term was coined in 2002 and at that time 20% of all relationships were said to be sexless, though sex was not defined. She highlighted the fact that many of her clients presented with 2 to 5 years of no affectionate touch in addition to no sex and we spoke about the damage a lack of touch does. Dr Patti sees sex as an essential part of self and not an add on. She highlighted the fact that many couples lack sexual skills as well as communication skills and that clinical sexologists approach treatment somewhat behaviourally with goals to get couples having sexual contact again. We spoke about how many layers there are to sexual problems and that as a result this is often very deep and transformative work. We spoke about the extreme fear of letting go of control that so many people have and that orgasm is the ultimate vulnerable place because you are so out of control during orgasm. Dr Patti spoke about 5 levels of touch from healing touch through to sexual touch and spoke of working with couples to understand that they can stop anywhere on the scale. We spoke about the fact that sex means different things to different people and different things at different times.

Dr Patti mentioned Dr Barry McCarthy’s book Rekindling Desire which has been released in an updated version recently and that he found in research that many women stopped engaging in sex out of profound disappointment in their relationships. We spoke of the definition of asexuality and the new axes for sexual orientation. We both spoke of how much more choice there is when people can self identify in so many ways and on so many levels.

Website Link: http://drpattibritton.com/ (drpattibritton.com)

Facebook link: facebook.com/sexcoachpattibritton

twitter link: @DrPattiBritton

Dr Patti has generously offered to waive the $500 enrollment fee for professionals wishing to enrol in her...