The Accidental Negotiator

Making concessions during a negotiation is something that none of us  really want to do. 

We don’t like having to give into the other side on  an issue. However, I think that we all realize that in order to reach a  deal with the other side, no matter what negotiation styles or  negotiating techniques we are using we always have to make concessions.  What we need to realize is that each concession that we make is a  critical part of how we are going to reach the deal that we want. 

Not only do we need to know what concessions we are willing to make, but we also have to know how to go about making those concessions.

As negotiators we are always on edge when we enter into a negotiation.  

There are a host of questions that are running through our mind and we  are searching for ways to be successful. One of the biggest questions  that we deal with has to do with the first offer that is going to be made during the negotiations.  Should we use our negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to be  the ones who make it or should we sit back and wait for the other side?  

If we do make an offer, should it be a strong offer or do we risk alienating the other side?

When you use your negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to enter into a negotiation, just exactly how much do you know about the other side?  

What you probably have are a number of assumptions that are going to be  boosted by the first impressions that the other side makes when you  meet them. A question that we should all be asking ourselves is if this is really the best way to go about preparing to negotiate? 

Could we be  getting things wrong?

When we are preparing for our next negotiation, we will try to take  everything that we’re going to be up against into account. 

What this  means is that we’ll study the issues, research who will be on the other  side, and we may even check out the location for the negotiation.  However, there is one additional thing that we may overlook – any self-fulfilling prophecies that we may be bringing to the table. 

If we aren’t careful, these can work against us just as much as the other side will be.

When we enter into a negotiation, it is our goal to use our negotiation  styles and negotiating techniques reach an agreement with the other  side. 

Although we may never say it, we expect that agreement to be fair for both sides:  nobody is going to be taking advantage of anyone else. However, as the  negotiation moves along, we may start to have some doubts. We may start  to wonder if the other side is treating us fairly. In fact, we may  wonder if this is really a fair negotiation. 

How can we tell?

When we enter into a negotiation, our goal is to be successful.  

What that means is that we want to be able to reach an agreement with  the other sides that meets our needs no matter what negotiation styles  or negotiating techniques are being used. In order for this to happen,  we need to take the time to prepare for our next negotiation. However,  that is easier said than done. 

In order to prepare properly, we need to understand exactly how we need to spend our time.

During a negotiation, our goal is always to find ways to use our  negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to move the other side closer to reaching a deal with us. 

There are a lot of different ways  that we can go about doing this. One of the biggest questions that we  are always facing during a negotiation is just exactly what we should reveal to the other side in order to move things along. We all know our limits and what would  cause us to walk away from a negotiation is a big deal. 

Should we ever  let the other side know what our limits are?

When we enter a negotiation we generally have one goal in mind: we want to reach a deal with the other side.  

It is our assumption that the other side of the table has the same goal  in mind. However, there will be situations in which this may not be the  case. As a negotiator, we need to understand that the other side may at  times be negotiating in bad faith. 

We have to be able to both realize this, and know how best to deal with the situation.

I hope that we can all agree that if you want your next negotiation to  turn out the way that you want it to, you need to prepare for it. 

Now,  that’s easy to say, but as we all know, it’s actually fairly hard to do.  It turns out that the key to successfully preparing for a negotiation  is that we have ask the right questions. 

In order to do that, we need to know what questions to ask.

I hope that we can all agree that if you want your next negotiation to  turn out the way that you want it to, you need to prepare for it. 

Now,  that’s easy to say, but as we all know, it’s actually fairly hard to do.  It turns out that the key to successfully preparing for a negotiation  is that we have ask the right questions. 

In order to do that, we need to know what questions to ask.