As negotiators, what we would all like to be able to do during each of our negotiations is to find a way to create a “win-win” situation.  

These are the negotiations in which both sides emerge feeling that they  got a good deal in the end no matter what negotiation styles or  negotiating techniques were used. However, finding this kind of solution  to a negotiation can be a real challenge. 

What we need are ways to make this happen even in even the trickiest negotiations.

If you sit back and think about it, what are you really trying to  accomplish during a negotiation with all of your fancy negotiation  styles and negotiating techniques? 

If you are like most of us, what you  would like to be able to do is to discover additional value that nobody realized was there, perhaps make some useful trades with  the other side, and finally come up with a deal that will exceed both  sides initial expectations. 

All of this sounds wonderful; however, how  can a negotiator actually make this happen?

One of the more popular phrases that has been used during the past few years has been “emotional intelligence”.  

This term first burst into the cultural imagination in 1995 with the  publication of psychologist Daniel Goleman’s book. Negotiation experts  have predicted that scoring high on this personality trait would boost one’s negotiating outcomes and have found many successful negotiation examples using emotional intelligence. 

Does this mean that during your next negotiation you need to pay more attention to your emotional intelligence?

Let’s face it: there are a lot of different types of negotiations that  we can find ourselves in the middle of any any point in time. 

As  negotiators we need to be able to recognize each one of them and then  take the appropriate action in order to maximize the chances of being  able to get the deal that we want. One type of negotiation that we most  often find ourselves involved in is called a distributive negotiation. 

Do you know what to do when this happens?

One of the most powerful negotiation styles and negotiating techniques  that a negotiator has available to them is what is called “anchoring”.

Anchoring occurs when a negotiation is starting and you make an initial offer to the other side.  This offer does not have to be one that you think that they would  actually accept. It can be quite arbitrary. The power of an anchor offer  is that it pulls the discussion in its direction. 

How can you use this powerful technique to your best advantage? 

Let’s face it: conflict happens in every negotiation.  

The very process of negotiating using our negotiation styles and  negotiating techniques with someone seems to open the door to allowing  conflict to come in. How do we deal with conflict when it shows up?  All too often our first response is to try to find a way to correct the  way that the other side is seeing the world. We’ll take the time to  tell them why they are wrong and, of course, why we are right. The  problem with this approach is that it rarely works and will often make  the current situation even worse. 

What we need is a different way to  deal with conflict situations. 

When you are in the middle of a negotiation, how do decisions get made? 

All too often a lot of us end up leaving these types of decisions up to chance  no matter what negotiation styles or negotiating techniques we are  using. These decisions can take on a lot of different disguises  including if we are talking with the best person to be doing the  negotiating for the other side, if we’ll negotiate in person, what will  be talked about, how long it will last, etc. 

We need to take the time to  ask ourselves about how we want to design the deal that we want to get. 

When we think about negotiating, we tend to think about how to apply our  negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to business situations.  

We may be buying or selling supplies, purchasing a location, or trying  to schedule the delivery of a product. However, it turns out that our negotiating skills are also useful for us when we are not at work.  In our personal lives, we encounter a number of different situations  that call for our particular set of skills. 

One classic situation,  whether for us or for someone that we know, is the purchase of a new car. 

The next time that you enter into a negotiation, how do you want the other side to view you?  

If you are like most of us who have had our impression of what a  world-class negotiator looks like shaped by television and the movies:  when we use our negotiation styles and negotiating techniques we want to  come across as being a tough guy, unyielding and bound to get our way  no matter what. However, what researchers have discovered is that  negotiators with a reputation for collaboration rather than competition  tend to do better. You can’t fully control what others think and say  about you, none of us can, but you can find ways to seize opportunities  to appear as cooperative as possible during and after a business  negotiation. 

Here’s how to do this. 

When we picture ourselves in a negotiation, we often see ourselves using  our negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to make a point. 

Or  perhaps at the board drawing out a scenario. Or maybe even handing  papers to the other side for them to review. What we don’t often see is ourselves on the defensive.  However, if the other side consists of skilled negotiators, there is a  very good chance that at some point in time during the negotiations  we’re going to end up with our backs to the wall. 

What we need are some defensive strategies that we can use when this happens to us.