The Accidental Negotiator

The reason that a negotiation is necessary is because the other side has information that we don’t have.

Likewise, we know things that the other side does not know and the purpose of a negotiation is to use your negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to exchange enough information so that both sides can agree on a deal. Now this is where things start to get interesting. Just exactly how much information should we share with the other side?  Do we tell them everything and hope to be rewarded for being so open with them? Do we hide everything so that we don’t accidentally reveal too much?

This is a key question that every negotiator has to answer for themselves: during a negotiation what information do we need to keep secret?

So I’m willing to admit it – I like food. A lot. 

When we are getting  ready to negotiate with someone, there is always the possibility of  conducting our negotiations with all of their negotiation styles and  negotiating techniques while sharing a meal with them. As tasty as this  may seem, it does lead to a much bigger question. If we conduct our  negotiations while eating, can it boost the possibility of our ability  to reach a deal with the other side?  

It turns out that there are both  advantages and downsides to eating while negotiating. Let’s take a look  at both of them.

Ah, the good cop / bad cop tactic.  

You know, we’ve seen this used in so many different TV shows and movies  that you would sorta think that everyone would recognize it when it was  being used on them by now. However, that’s where you would be wrong. It  turns out that this tactic is still very popular as one of many  negotiation styles and negotiating techniques and is very effective.  During any negotiation that you are part of, the other side may have  two of their people playing different roles. One seems as though they  are eager to help you while the other is aggressively trying to get the  best deal for them. 

Guess what – the good cop / bad cop tactic is being  used on you.

Every time that we start a negotiation, we begin with the best of  intentions. 

It really does not matter who we are negotiating with. The  other side can be from down the road or from around the world, we simply  want to reach a good deal with them. However, when the other side comes from another culture, problems can arise in our negotiations. Even with a common language and the best of intentions, negotiators from different cultures face unique challenges no matter what negotiation styles or negotiating techniques are being  used. 

What we need are solutions for avoiding intercultural barriers  when preparing for negotiation between sides from different cultures.

As negotiators, every time that we enter into a negotiation we hope to  be able to use our negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to walk  away with a deal that we can live with. 

However, in order for that to  happen we have to have taken the time to prepare for the negotiation.  All too often this is exactly what we don’t do. When you haven’t done  the necessary research, you are likely to leave value on the table and  even to be taken advantage of by the other side. What you need is a  negotiation preparation checklist that can help you avoid this scenario  by helping you think through your position, the other side’s position,  and what might happen when you get together. We do need to understand  that business negotiations are highly unpredictable. It is possible that  some of your prep work won’t turn out to be relevant, and new issues  and problems will crop up and demand your attention. 

However, having a  solid understanding of what’s at stake and where each side is coming  from will help you do a better job of thinking on your feet.

So how many times has this happened to you? 

You are involved in a  negotiation. Everything seems to be going pretty well – your negotiation  styles and negotiating techniques seem to be working. A deal is  starting to form up and both sides are starting to see what they may be  able to walk away from this deal with when all of sudden something changes.  A spoiler enters into the negotiation. Once this happens, something  almost magical happens (in a bad way) and the deal that had looked so  close jumps out the window and runs away never to be seen again. 

Clearly  a deal spoiler is not something that any of us want to invite to a  negotiation; however, what can we do to prevent it from showing up  unannounced?

There are times when something is being negotiated that we choose to not  go it alone. Instead, we decide that we need some help. 

When this  happens we may bring in an agent to represent us to the other side .  However, this can cause problems. If you do this, you wonder whether  you can trust the agent to fully represent your best interests no matter  what negotiation styles or negotiating techniques are being used. 

The  bad news is that according to principal agent theory, the answer often is “no.”

That negotiating thing is difficult enough without having to deal with  all of the different people involved. 

However, we need to admit that  there will be times that no matter how difficult a negotiation is and no  matter what negotiation styles or negotiating techniques we are using, it will really be the people that we are dealing with that are the source of our greatest issues.  When we find ourselves in a situation like this, we are going to have  to be able to sit back, understand what is happening, and then come up with a plan for dealing with it. 

If we can’t do this, then there is no way that we’re ever going to be able to reach a deal with these people!

As negotiators, every time that we go into a negotiation, we are  optimistic that we are going to use our negotiation styles and  negotiating techniques to be successful. 

We believe that we’re going to  be able to work with the other side of the table and come up with a deal  that both sides can live with. This kind of optimism is important to  providing us with the drive to keep moving forward even when things can  get tough. However, we all understand that sometimes negotiations don’t work out.  There have been some pretty spectacular failures. 

From a negotiator  point of view, these failures can teach us a great deal about how to  make sure that our next negotiation is a success.

No matter how good of a negotiator you think that you currently are and  what negotiation styles and negotiating techniques you use, we all know that we can become better.  

The struggle that we all have is that too often we don’t know how we  can become better. Since we don’t know this, we can delay finding out  what we need to do. The good news is that we all have to do basically  the same things in order to become better negotiators. 

Now we just need  to make sure that we all understand what those things are.