The Accidental Negotiator

Let’s face it – negotiating is not an easy thing to do. 

If you want  to make it even harder, then instead of just negotiating with one party,  invite multiple parties to the same negotiation. When  this kind of negotiation is going on, turf battles – heated conflicts  over territory, control, rights, or power -are all too common. It is  possible for a turf battle to arise over any type of scarce resource in a  group negotiation. When anticipating a group negotiation, we tend to  view the other groups as inferior to our group on many dimensions,  including intelligence, competence, and trustworthiness. 

How should a  negotiator handle situations like this?

Negotiators need to know how important body language is in the negotiation process. 

We are often advised to engage in small talk before  getting down to business.  The reason that we’re told to do this is  because according to negotiation research, it pays to engage with your  counterpart at the negotiation table. 

However, where things can get a  bit strange is when we realize that whether it benefits a negotiator or  not might depend on the negotiator’s gender.

I think that all of us would be willing to admit that we don’t know  everything. 

When it comes to a negotiation, if we’ve never negotiated  with the other side before, we understand that it would be wise to go have a talk with someone who has negotiated with them before. When we consult with others on our upcoming negotiations, we are going to have to weigh their advice against our own opinions and research. 

Research finds that all too  often we tend to undervalue advice from others and overvalue our own  point of view, even when we’re inexperienced at the task at hand.

As negotiators, when we go into a negotiation, we need to have a plan for what we want to achieve. 

We’ve got a number of different ways that  we can go. We can hope to use our negotiation styles and negotiating  techniques to get everything that we want while not really caring how  things turn out for the other side (win-lose) or we can hope to find a balance where both sides get what they want (win-win).  The good news is that we don’t have to choose between either waging a  strictly competitive, win-lose negotiation battle or caving in to avoid  conflict. What we need to do is to look for negotiation strategies that can help both sides get more of what they want. 

Let’s take a look at how to go about doing this.

As negotiators, one of the key points about negotiating that has been drilled into our heads is that in order to be successful, we always have  to be able to use our negotiation styles and negotiating techniques to  reach a deal with the other side of the table. 

There has to be a common  middle ground that both of us can agree to. If we are not able to reach  this point, then we have failed as negotiators. Although this is classic  negotiating training, it turns out that in the real world things are a  bit different. 

There are situations in which reaching a lose-lose agreement might be in the best interests of both sides.

Every negotiator would like to have some magic in their lives. 

We’d all  like to be able to wave our hands and have a negotiation go our way.  We’d like to have spells that we could recite that would make the other  side bend to our will. The bad news is that such magic does not seem to  exist. However, there is something a bit strange about the number three. Everything good comes in threes, they say. 

For negotiators, sequences of three can be rewarding as well.

As negotiators we’d all like to find ways to become better at this critical skill. 

One way to make this happen is to find people that we know do it well and then ask them questions – how did they become so good. When they negotiate, what do negotiation  styles and negotiating techniques do they use in order to get the deal  that they are looking for? One such person is Tony Blair,  the former prime minster of Great Britain. Tony is most famous for the  peace negotiations in Northern Ireland. 

Let’s take a look at Tony’s  suggestions for how we can make our next negotiation be successful.

I think that we all realize that participating in a negotiation can be a  very complex undertaking. 

However, if you want to make things even more  complicated then all you have to do is involve yourself in a multiparty negotiation. Multiparty negotiations are actually fairly common. There are three issues that make  multi­party negotiations more complex than two-party talks. These issues  are (1) coalition formation, (2) process-management issues, and (3) the  fluctuating nature of each party’s best alternative to a negotiated  agreement (BATNA). 

As a negotiator, if you are able to prepare for these differences in negotiating strategy, you will be well positioned to thrive in your next multiparty negotiation.

When it comes time for your next negotiation, will you do the most  important thing to get ready? 

You know what I’m talking about – prepare!  One of the biggest mistakes that negotiators make over and over again  doesn’t have anything to do with their negotiation styles or negotiating  techniques, instead it has to do with failing to thoroughly prepare. If  you haven’t done the necessary analysis and research, then you are  highly likely to leave value on the table and even to be taken advantage  of by the other side. What you need is a negotiation preparation  checklist that can help you avoid this scenario by helping you think  through your position, the other party’s position, and what might happen  when you get together. 

Here’s a starting point that you can use to  develop your own checklist...

As negotiators we’ve all heard about the power of being able to reach a win-win agreement with the other side of the table.  

This is not always an easy thing to do. It may be our ultimate goal,  but more often than not how to reach that goal can prove to be elusive.  

However, the good news is that there are a number of different  negotiation styles and negotiating techniques that we can use in order  to create situations in which both sides in a negotiation can reach a win-win agreement.